In the scratch of the day
I woke up to see a shero
I woke up in the hands of a demigod
Nursing me like a pregnancy
That cost a couple years to get
Singing without a background beats
Pampering me like a princess
Luckily married by a poor man
Weeping when I'm ill
Should I even think of the nine months?
When the deity nurtured me
Despite the pains I caused her
Should I even think of the meal-less nights?
When I ate her food with mine


My mother; My demigod
If I get soaked by the rain
My mother would rather blame the rain
Which didn't stop for me to pass
Which couldn't wait till I get home
Instead of blaming my stupidity
My mother; my demigod
Apart from the creator
Whose thoughts are always positive
Towards the hominis
My mother is the only being
With positive thoughts about me
She understood perfectly
When I innocently bit her breast
Oh! My demigod
My prayer for you always
Is long life and prosperity


My mother; my demigod
Your memory will remain indelible
You are the god I can see
My mother; My demigod
I wish you could become immortal
I am The Crying Pencil
Weeping day and night
Telling the Universe how I feel
Do not throw me away
And I will always write to you
Whenever the need be
I am The Crying Pencil
Telling the Universe how I feel.

•Written By: Sammy Opeyemi
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©The Crying Pencil.

Wow!

This is lovely!

Nice work amigo,
I really like the imagery even though the use of cliches pinched the work. . .
why not break it into shorter stanzas to prevent boring readers down.
Inserting more rhetorical devices will spice up the piece. . .

*show readers your mind rather than telling them literarily e.g ( if i get soaked by the rain ). . . Why not use a rhetorical phrase like (when the hit of the weeping clouds drowns my cloak) just an advice*
even though there are many more, I dnt knw how you feel about the critique, but
its a nice work once again!
it touches my heart and build in my mind some images

CXLVII:
Wow!

This is lovely!

Thank you

Aiyamrex:
Nice work amigo,
I really like the imagery even though the use of cliches pinched the work. . .
why not break it into shorter stanzas to prevent boring readers down.
Inserting more rhetorical devices will spice up the piece. . .

*show readers your mind rather than telling them literarily e.g ( if i get soaked by the rain ). . . Why not use a rhetorical phrase like (when the hit of the weeping clouds drowns my cloak) just an advice*
even though there are many more, I dnt knw how you feel about the critique, but
its a nice work once again!
it touches my heart and build in my mind some images

Thank you for the constructive criticism, I'll work on it. Once again, thanks.