Hey Nairalanders, I would like your honest opinion on this. Last weekend, a cousin of mine got into a physical confrontation with his dad over the shabby way he treated his mom. Whilst a few family members applauded his actions, others condemned him(including me). So, I would like your opinion on what you would have done if you were in his shoes.

A little about my cousin's dad:
If there were to be an award for the 'most irresponsible man on earth', then I guess the award should go to him. He is a drunk, very violent, spiteful, and a philanderer. His philandering habit is so pathetic that he spends recklessly on his numerous lovers;whilst neglecting his wife. Unfortunately, this has been the case right from when my cousins were kids, and now as a man in his late 60's, he doesn't seem to show any signs of slowing down.

And to cap it all, his violent nature is such that he insults and hits his wife at the slightest provocation(which mostly bothers on his womanizing habits and lack of self control).

To further exacerbate the situation, he doesn't respect his kids(These are responsible adults in their 30's) and confronts them physically if any of them visits to broker peace.

The physical altercation
As usual, he got into another fight with his wife, and since they both live alone, a neighbor called my cousin who happens to reside in the same town as his parents. When he got there, he met both parents arguing with a few people around who apparently were there to mediate. He calmed the situation, and dispersed them.

He was still trying to figure out what to do next when the dad pounced on his mom and started another fight. He tried stopping his dad from getting violent with his mom, and that infuriated the man. He turned on my cousin and started hitting him hard. My cousin tried defending himself and it led into a physical combat.

The fight got so violent that it took the intervention of an uncle who eventually calmed the situation. Since that day, whenever my cousin visits to check up on his mom(She still insists on staying with her husband), the dad won't stop cursing him, and even threatened to call the cops on him.

To be candid, I'm trying so hard not to describe the man in perfect terms, as that would paint the picture of a monster. In all honesty, he is worse than a monster, and no child would be proud to have his type as a father.

So, the question is, if you were to find yourself in my cousin's shoes, what would you have done? Retaliate or just walk away?

I will retaliate nobody has monopoly to madness. It's high time the children step in and decide that enough is enough or end up losing their mother to such monster.

if wifey doesnt want to leave this irresponsible abusive man, then wetin concern you?
if you have any issues with the way this man is living his life (for the past 30yrs) then live yours happily ever after and let him be who he has always been. expecting this man to change, because you or anyone else dont like his lifestyle, is foolish. thats who he is and he will probably NEVER change, get with the program.

so again, children should invite mama to come and live with them, if she doesnt want, then there is not much anyone can do....and basta!

as for any kids who has the audacity to raise their hand on their own father...***spit on floor***

Their mother can't leave because she has been rendered time and again unto a position of total dependency at the mercy of a her evil husband.

This is Stockholm syndrome.

Anyway, I'll retaliate.
I can never close my eyes to such monstrosity.

To put it simply, my dad is not entitled to blind devotion or unconditional respect from me by virtue of being a parent. I'll retaliate every time.

This one strng

We4all:
Hey Nairalanders, I would like your honest opinion on this. Last weekend, a cousin of mine got into a physical confrontation with his dad over the shabby way he treated his mom. Whilst a few family members applauded his actions, others condemned him(including me). So, I would like your opinion on what you would have done if you were in his shoes.

A little about my cousin's dad:
If there were to be an award for the 'most irresponsible man on earth', then I guess the award should go to him. He is a drunk, very violent, spiteful, and a philanderer. His philandering habit is so pathetic that he spends recklessly on his numerous lovers;whilst neglecting his wife. Unfortunately, this has been the case right from when my cousins were kids, and now as a man in his late 60's, he doesn't seem to show any signs of slowing down.

And to cap it all, his violent nature is such that he insults and hits his wife at the slightest provocation(which mostly bothers on his womanizing habits and lack of self control).

To further exacerbate the situation, he doesn't respect his kids(These are responsible adults in their 30's) and confronts them physically if any of them visits to broker peace.

The physical altercation
As usual, he got into another fight with his wife, and since they both live alone, a neighbor called my cousin who happens to reside in the same town as his parents. When he got there, he met both parents arguing with a few people around who apparently were there to mediate. He calmed the situation, and dispersed them.

He was still trying to figure out what to do next when the dad pounced on his mom and started another fight. He tried stopping his dad from getting violent with his mom, and that infuriated the man. He turned on my cousin and started hitting him hard. My cousin tried defending himself and it led into a physical combat.

The fight got so violent that it took the intervention of an uncle who eventually calmed the situation. Since that day, whenever my cousin visits to check up on his mom(She still insists on staying with her husband), the dad won't stop cursing him, and even threatened to call the cops on him.

To be candid, I'm trying so hard not to describe the man in perfect terms, as that would paint the picture of a monster. In all honesty, he is worse than a monster, and no child would be proud to have his type as a father.

So, the question is, if you were to find yourself in my cousin's shoes, what would you have done? Retaliate or just walk away?

In all honesty, I will do same like your cousin

No child ever wants to see the dad beats the mum, even if she deserve to receive the award of the most stupid woman on earth

Any man that beats the mother of his children is a beast and has gone senile

MrBrownJay1:
if wifey doesnt want to leave this irresponsible abusive man, then wetin concern you?
if you have any issues with the way this man is living his life (for the past 30yrs) then live yours happily ever after and let him be who he has always been. expecting this man to change, because you or anyone else dont like his lifestyle, is foolish. thats who he is and he will probably NEVER change, get with the program.

so again, children should invite mama to come and live with them, if she doesnt want, then there is not much anyone can do....and basta!

as for any kids who has the audacity to raise their hand on their own father...***spit on floor***

Situations like this, your last paragraph will be thrown away

Beat anyone hundred times, he will either fight back or hold it

But being in the habit of beating a mother before her children, haba ❗

No child will take it, even if its from the dad

Well, the person of interest is your Cousin's Mom. She is the one who forced and still forces everyone else in your family to come in contact with the man. If she had separated from him (since she obviously refused to divorce him even at the cost of her well being) you guys could have related with him from a distance, making things easier for all involved. Very selfish, lazy and foolish woman.

frozen70:
Situations like this, your last paragraph will be thrown away

Beat anyone hundred times, he will either fight back or hold it

But being in the habit of beating a mother before her children, haba ❗

No child will take it, even if its from the dad

fight someone for doing something they've done for +20yrs? lol... stop wasting your time, as such action can send you 6 feet under. tell your mother to leave this abusive demon and basta... but raising your hand on your father aint gonna end well for you!

do you actually think that any father would accept that the ungrateful child they fed/raised/schooled for +20yrs suddenly think he/she can beat you and tell you what to do?!

MrBrownJay1:


fight someone for doing something they've done for +20yrs? lol... stop wasting your time, as such action can send you 6 feet under. tell your mother to leave this abusive demon and basta... but raising your hand on your father aint gonna end well for you!

do you actually think that any father would accept that the ungrateful child they fed/raised/schooled for +20yrs suddenly think he/she can beat you and tell you what to do?!

I can see you have the tendency to behave like his father

Carry on

frozen70:
I can see you have the tendency to behave like his father

Carry on

dont get me wrong, i certainly dont vouch for what the father is doing, but i know fully well that losing your damn mind and think you can raise your hands on your own father (who gave you life) because he is doing something that mama has accepted gladly for 20yrs and/or something "you" are against, is a sure way to fail in life.
thats your father, if you dont like what he's been doing for +20yrs then move out of his life but you certainly shouldnt believe that you are suddenly better than that man to think you can raise your hands on him. whats next? father cheats on mother, mother gladly accepts it but because you are against it, you will now raise your hands on your parents?!?!?!?!

the only thing you can do here is to tell mama to leave the demon, et voila, case closed!

Saintmary:
Well, the person of interest is your Cousin's Mom. She is the one who forced and still forces everyone else in your family to come in contact with the man. If she had separated from him (since she obviously refused to divorce him even at the cost of her well being) you guys could have related with him from a distance, making things easier for all involved. Very selfish, lazy and foolish woman.

An interesting angle.

What if the children decide to relate with the parents from a distance?

Seeing the father continually treat the mother like trash and her constant acceptance is enough to finger any child's brain.

Before the son does something that makes the father curse him.

The beating wasn't very effective in my opinion. The son was probably made to apologise is why the man still has mouth.

It should have been the kind of beating that will make the man even chase his wife out of the house and cut all ties.

The kind that will make him see his son and pass another road.

The kind that will make him quiet when his children come home.

The kind that when he curses, it will be under his breath because he'd be worried that his wife can report him again.

The beating was not effective. Your cousin should wait for him. He will do it again and then, heaven will not fall.

Fathers should never provoke their children!

Why do Nigerian women find it hard to leave marriages irrespective of the bullshît being dished out to them? I know that it’s not easy to leave a marriage but come on! The rubbish that most Nigerian women tolerate just to remain married is something I don’t and will never understand.

This is surely beyond Stockholm syndrome.

It was wrong for him to go physical with his father but desperate times calls for desperate action. He was caught up at moment. I think what gave the man the audacity to hit his wife in her sixties, is because the children watched him do that even when they were adults and did nothing about it. I believe this is not the first time he is doing that in the last ten years and they didn't take any action like arresting his sorry *ass and allowing the authority deal with him in a manner he will never forget.
As for the woman, at this point, she has no choice, she is suppose to worship her children and do what ever they say. You guys should decide for her, "mum we got you a bedroom apartment, pack your things let's go". She is skeptical because she don't trust that her kids can take good care of her when she leaves so she is looking for a soft landing. I condemn her role in this whole story but I believe she might have stayed because of the kids and of cause because she was too lazy to fend for herself and kids but at this junction she need to be cared for, she is getting old and tired. Op are can you guys beat your chest that you can actually give her a comfortable life if you take her out of the man's house?

Ningen:
Their mother can't leave because she has been rendered time and again unto a position of total dependency at the mercy of a her evil husband.

This is Stockholm syndrome.

Anyway, I'll retaliate.
I can never close my eyes to such monstrosity.

To put it simply, my dad is not entitled to blind devotion or unconditional respect from me by virtue of being a parent. I'll retaliate every time.

"Stockholm syndrome" in Denver's(money heist) voice....

MrBrownJay1:
if wifey doesnt want to leave this irresponsible abusive man, then wetin concern you?
if you have any issues with the way this man is living his life (for the past 30yrs) then live yours happily ever after and let him be who he has always been. expecting this man to change, because you or anyone else dont like his lifestyle, is foolish. thats who he is and he will probably NEVER change, get with the program.

so again, children should invite mama to come and live with them, if she doesnt want, then there is not much anyone can do....and basta!

as for any kids who has the audacity to raise their hand on their own father...***spit on floor***

Mate, stop digressing and focus on the question raised. The purpose of the write up wasn't to condemn the man, but rather state how you would react if pushed to the wall by your parents.

Saintmary:
Well, the person of interest is your Cousin's Mom. She is the one who forced and still forces everyone else in your family to come in contact with the man. If she had separated from him (since she obviously refused to divorce him even at the cost of her well being) you guys could have related with him from a distance, making things easier for all involved. Very selfish, lazy and foolish woman.

The bitter truth is, there are many women like her who are not willing to take a step back from their marriages. I guess divorce scares women alot, and they can't just stay by themselves.

piroux:
The beating wasn't very effective in my opinion. The son was probably made to apologise is why the man still has mouth.

It should have been the kind of beating that will make the man even chase his wife out of the house and cut all ties.

The kind that will make him see his son and pass another road.

The kind that will make him quiet when his children come home.

The kind that when he curses, it will be under his breath because he'd be worried that his wife can report him again.

The beating was not effective. Your cousin should wait for him. He will do it again and then, heaven will not fall.

Fathers should never provoke their children!

This got me smiling. I guess I'll laugh next time when I'm in the mood.

We4all:
Mate, stop digressing and focus on the question raised. The purpose of the write up wasn't to condemn the man, but rather state how you would react if pushed to the wall by your parents.

its called giving a reply and explaining why you gave such reply.... but since you missed my reply, here it is again:

MrBrownJay1:
so again, children should invite mama to come and live with them, if she doesnt want, then there is not much anyone can do....and basta!

Your friend is very correct to have stepped in to protect his mother. It's funny that you condemn him along with others for doing the right thing. Children stepping in to protect a weaker parent during family squabbles is a very common thing, and only foolish children would just sit to watch. Unfortunately, your friends mother is very naive, weak, I wouldn't want to say stupid, she is ready to stay in the marriage and die in it. I think your friend has done enough, he should never ever protect his mother again. Let his dad continue to cheat on her, abuse her and traumatize her, she loves it, she came into this world to be a slave . As for the curse, it's useless.

The Matter wey dey on ground so..e heavy for mouth.

If am to be in ur cousin's position...I will walk away with my Mom against all odds...I fit use anger hit my dad....He fit no wake up again.

So to avoid stories that touch...E go better make I ensure the pain and walk away with my mom.

Always "Try to manage your anger since some people tend not to manage their stupidity" and Two wrongs can't make a right....

I rest my case

A child should NEVER raise his hands against his parents.

It's a very unfortunate situation. I am picturing a circumstance where he was already cornered and had no way out than to fight back. But it still remains wrong.

Imagine the whole neighbourhood coming to settle fights all the time, how embarrassing. But a shameless man is irredeemable and since the wife loves him like that, the son can't do much.

If possible, let him seek intermediaries to sort out his differences with his Father. That's important.

We4all:
Hey Nairalanders, I would like your honest opinion on this. Last weekend, a cousin of mine got into a physical confrontation with his dad over the shabby way he treated his mom. Whilst a few family members applauded his actions, others condemned him(including me). So, I would like your opinion on what you would have done if you were in his shoes.

A little about my cousin's dad:
If there were to be an award for the 'most irresponsible man on earth', then I guess the award should go to him. He is a drunk, very violent, spiteful, and a philanderer. His philandering habit is so pathetic that he spends recklessly on his numerous lovers;whilst neglecting his wife. Unfortunately, this has been the case right from when my cousins were kids, and now as a man in his late 60's, he doesn't seem to show any signs of slowing down.

And to cap it all, his violent nature is such that he insults and hits his wife at the slightest provocation(which mostly bothers on his womanizing habits and lack of self control).

To further exacerbate the situation, he doesn't respect his kids(These are responsible adults in their 30's) and confronts them physically if any of them visits to broker peace.

The physical altercation
As usual, he got into another fight with his wife, and since they both live alone, a neighbor called my cousin who happens to reside in the same town as his parents. When he got there, he met both parents arguing with a few people around who apparently were there to mediate. He calmed the situation, and dispersed them.

He was still trying to figure out what to do next when the dad pounced on his mom and started another fight. He tried stopping his dad from getting violent with his mom, and that infuriated the man. He turned on my cousin and started hitting him hard. My cousin tried defending himself and it led into a physical combat.

The fight got so violent that it took the intervention of an uncle who eventually calmed the situation. Since that day, whenever my cousin visits to check up on his mom(She still insists on staying with her husband), the dad won't stop cursing him, and even threatened to call the cops on him.

To be candid, I'm trying so hard not to describe the man in perfect terms, as that would paint the picture of a monster. In all honesty, he is worse than a monster, and no child would be proud to have his type as a father.

So, the question is, if you were to find yourself in my cousin's shoes, what would you have done? Retaliate or just walk away?

No wonder we have many dysfunctional humans around. Imagine growing up under this family.
Rubbish. Ur cousin dad or ur dad?
U people lie too much

MrBrownJay1:
if wifey doesnt want to leave this irresponsible abusive man, then wetin concern you?
if you have any issues with the way this man is living his life (for the past 30yrs) then live yours happily ever after and let him be who he has always been. expecting this man to change, because you or anyone else dont like his lifestyle, is foolish. thats who he is and he will probably NEVER change, get with the program.

so again, children should invite mama to come and live with them, if she doesnt want, then there is not much anyone can do....and basta!

as for any kids who has the audacity to raise their hand on their own father...***spit on floor***

If u misbehave, ur kids will beat u

SUPERPACK:
I will retaliate nobody has monopoly to madness. It's high time the children step in and decide that enough is enough or end up losing their mother to such monster.

Ningen:
Their mother can't leave because she has been rendered time and again unto a position of total dependency at the mercy of a her evil husband.

This is Stockholm syndrome.

Anyway, I'll retaliate.
I can never close my eyes to such monstrosity.

To put it simply, my dad is not entitled to blind devotion or unconditional respect from me by virtue of being a parent. I'll retaliate every time.

See these ones.

Any child that claims to be man enough to physically confront his father in defence of his mother, should also be financially man enough to move his leech of a mother out of the so called abusive environment and care for her henceforth.

Protection is not by mouth alone.

frozen70:


In all honesty, I will do same like your cousin

No child ever wants to see the dad beats the mum, even if she deserve to receive the award of the most stupid woman on earth

Any man that beats the mother of his children is a beast and has gone senile

My dad beat my mother and growing up I used to defend her and even fight him on her behalf. Until I grew up and became a wife myself and saw how Manipulative and nasty my mother truly is. My father was a victim of years of snake-like manipulation and emotional abuse and tried to fight back the only way he could. My mother deserved the beating tbh but she continued to stay so that she can leech off his wealth. She didn't want him to move on and find peace elsewhere. Neither did she want another woman to enjoy his wealth. She's a sociopath and all her children eventually grew up to hate her

Saintmary:
Well, the person of interest is your Cousin's Mom. She is the one who forced and still forces everyone else in your family to come in contact with the man. If she had separated from him (since she obviously refused to divorce him even at the cost of her well being) you guys could have related with him from a distance, making things easier for all involved. Very selfish, lazy and foolish woman.

Very lazy and foolish indeed. A woman who is old enough to have given birth to grown kids like this, yet hasn't saved or established anything for herself to leave an unfavourable situation with her dignity intact. Tueh!

Before God, his father's curses are the utterances of a fool.

The father is set in his ways and the children can't change him and their mother has aligned her life to that abuse. The children can come together and arrange for their mother to change scenery. If they can afford it, get one of the children fly with their mother to somewhere nearby like Accra, Ghana and spend a week of vacation there.

On return back to Nigeria, she would be so open to separating from their abusive father and live in a place, her children will set up for her. If she moves out be very sure that their father would go after her because she is his "drug of choice" that he needs to get entangled with to feel validated.

MrBrownJay1:
if wifey doesnt want to leave this irresponsible abusive man, then wetin concern you?
if you have any issues with the way this man is living his life (for the past 30yrs) then live yours happily ever after and let him be who he has always been. expecting this man to change, because you or anyone else dont like his lifestyle, is foolish. thats who he is and he will probably NEVER change, get with the program.

so again, children should invite mama to come and live with them, if she doesnt want, then there is not much anyone can do....and basta!

as for any kids who has the audacity to raise their hand on their own father...***spit on floor***

OchoL:



See these ones.

Any child that claims to be man enough to physically confront his father in defence of his mother, should also be financially man enough to move his leech of a mother out of the so called abusive environment and care for her henceforth.

Protection is not by mouth alone.

Don't quote me next time if you have nothing to say.

SUPERPACK:
Don't quote me next time if you have nothing to say.

I gave you the response that matches your stupidity and I will do it again.