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My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Jewessgratitud3: 3:56pm On Sep 21, 2023
K
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Nyanabo(m): 3:57pm On Sep 21, 2023
So what do you want us to do now ?anage her like that na.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by markrachel411(m): 3:59pm On Sep 21, 2023
My mother does the same thing haha... I'm utilized to it.. I fair do everything for her like a great girl... Indeed when I attempt not to do the things I do for her, I'd beginning to feel blameworthy... So OP keeps doing that to you, she likely likes you but doesn't need to appear it.... This is one of the best posts ever. If you want to know more about who we are and what we do, you can go here: Merchant Cash Advance Leads

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by ecstasy37(m): 3:59pm On Sep 21, 2023
That's definitely a single mom who need a friend lol bro she needs you to start acting like the husband she never really had
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Maxxim: 4:00pm On Sep 21, 2023
Generator wey two of una dey use, you dey expect appraisal
Dey play
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by akevic: 4:01pm On Sep 21, 2023
Pretend u are sick just to see her reaction. You will know if truly she doesn't appreciate u or not
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Joygift3666: 4:02pm On Sep 21, 2023
I guess this is why your dad left.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by mozona(m): 4:05pm On Sep 21, 2023
your mum loves you, she appreciate you without telling you.

she just get bad mouth, am like that too.

3 Likes

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by kendological(m): 4:05pm On Sep 21, 2023
Stop listening to her and stop trying to impress her, let her feel your absence, concerned on yourself, she will learn.

3 Likes

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by ItisWell22(f): 4:05pm On Sep 21, 2023
bukatyne:


Sorry for the feeling. sad

Call her and engage her in dialogue as to your feelings respectfully especially the comparison part.

You can ask her what she expects of you so you know what you are up against (you might not be able to meet everything; you are not God).

What about your dad?

It doesn’t always work, and when it does, it’s only briefly / temporarily before it gets to a “higher level of worse”.
I’ve been there.

Op, like someone said, be your own cheerleader.

I know how it feels when the one you expect to value you the most, tends to devalue or disrespect you than others.
You’ve got yourself to prove you can.

Don’t allow it break you too deep, otherwise you go do things wey you go later regret.

What I do now, I magnify her awesome qualities (she’s actually amazing until she begin display 😂) and tell myself it’s just who she is with me.
Better still, I tell/ mention to her her expectations of my failures before she does or at most, ignore her.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by SailorUgo(m): 4:06pm On Sep 21, 2023
There was a particular year my mom tried this, I think I was in JSS 3.

How did I solve it?
I told her straight to her face. I warned my mom never to try it again in this life.
Even when she and my other siblings were saying it’s okay, I continued shouting to make sure she got the point. I registered it in her subconscious.

And it has never repeated itself again.


I think you should tell her your mind next time she does it again.
You never know she might not even be aware that she behaves that way.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by samwillyco1(m): 4:09pm On Sep 21, 2023
Bring her for ritual grin grin grin grin

Any other time she compares you with another person, just compare her with Ngozi Okonjo iwuala, or Remi Tinubu case close. grin grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Stevenbright(m): 4:14pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:

How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

You want to live a life of pleasing someone else, then just know that this "It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically" your confession just started and it will only get worse.

Save yourself from this path to destruction by never seeking any form of validation from any body not even your mum because they will always use it to manipulate and frustrate you.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by kwamesd(m): 4:15pm On Sep 21, 2023
This is not your fault, and it's not your mother's fault either. It's a mistake made by society and past eras. Often, a person becomes just like their parents after becoming parents themselves. Of course, this isn't always the case.

But there comes a point, a moment when one becomes like their past parents, always repeating the cycle of the previous generation.

A person's life is always profoundly influenced by their childhood experiences. Your mother doesn't not love you; she just might not know how to express it. Don't blame her.

2 Likes

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by skuribeebo: 4:15pm On Sep 21, 2023
Why do you want people to appreciate you?

Your own is to do the right thing.

1 Like

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Babatunjo: 4:17pm On Sep 21, 2023
She wants you to expand and grow, that's why.

When you marry, your wife will do same.

When you help your female colleagues at work, they'll do things that will make you feel unappreciated.

It's a woman's subconscious way of challenging you to grow bigger in life.

I know the explanation is not straightforward but why not take up the challenge and keep on doing bigger things for her, hoping she'll appreciate it one day, while at the same time, never feeling bad for not being appreciated.. it's just normal with women.

Appreciation and compliments most time are manipulative when it comes from women, you don't need it and shouldn't crave for it.
Get used to not being appreciated by women. Your job is to keep growing, getting better and doing your best in providing for those who are in your responsibility circle, including your wife, mother and children. F#ck their appreciation.

If you actually crave for their appreciation or concerned that they are not appreciating you enough, then honestly, it says alot about you than about them.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by sparko1(m): 4:21pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
If you engage her in a dialogue, she'll pick offense. I've tried many times. And to add too, she complains virtually about everything. She'll hardly see what you do as good.

My dad is late.

I have a question.

Do you by any chance look like your dad or take after him in any way?

If Yes, then you have your answers, she despise your dad.

I had same issue, I look a lot like my dad, with a fair skin, my dad was all books, with two degrees in engineering, but somehow my mom despise him because she was raised by a rich father with coca farm still feeding generations, but my father isn't built for hard work, so if I come home with all A's all she sees is another lazy man coming lol!

She made me into a strong man, I learnt how to cook, I was her personal project. Looking back, she called me yesterday and ask when I will go for my masters lol!

My advice, take it as motivation, once you get to her desired stage of success she will celebrate you.

1 Like

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Chizigreat(m): 4:23pm On Sep 21, 2023
What It Takes For You To Be Used By God.

Apostle Joshua Selman.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxYc2--N-_M?si=-tBoSohybaWk7yEO
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by tuzle(m): 4:24pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
If you engage her in a dialogue, she'll pick offense. I've tried many times. And to add too, she complains virtually about everything. She'll hardly see what you do as good.

My dad is late.
but up there u said ur mom is a loving, caring, sweet and all the gbogbo orishi woman, but she still doesn't see good in what u do. Continue o, maybe loving sweet, caring has another definition.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by BoldBrainz(m): 4:25pm On Sep 21, 2023
Motherfucker, you don't use issues between you and your MOTHER to create contents on social media!

Stupid children everywhere!
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by CharleyBright(m): 4:25pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.

𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑎 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑏𝑜𝑦.
𝐼 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛.
𝐼𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑚 𝑜𝑛 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑠𝑎𝑝𝑝?
𝐼𝑓 𝑌𝑒𝑠, 𝐻𝑢𝑚𝑏𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑇𝑒𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑢 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟. 𝑇𝑒𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑏𝑦 ℎ𝑧𝑟 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑢, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑒𝑓𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑏𝑜𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦.
𝑊𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑧 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑘𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠.
𝑖 𝑝𝑟𝑎𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑏𝑔𝑧 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by SweetDipBenny(m): 4:32pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.
Hustle hard, make moni, move out and go stay on ur own..
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by naija4life247: 4:32pm On Sep 21, 2023
Children who are praised by their parents end up spoiled
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by talisman35(m): 4:32pm On Sep 21, 2023
I have a similar experience,you haven't seen the worst.
Your mother will never like nor love, even accept any woman you bring home for marriage,when this time come just use wisdom and keep your marriage away your mother.
Parents don't share the same love with thier kids
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by correctguy101(m): 4:33pm On Sep 21, 2023
Hypnotise:
Why don't you do the same and see how she reacts?

If the elders mess for your front, you ignore it and/or walk away. Don't even think of squeezing face,.. grin
If you mess for that same elder front to check their reaction... Naim be say...
You no get respect for the elders be that...

This is Nigeria.. cheesy

Like someone said, our OP should be a good boy and let that all push him to success until he leaves could leave home .

Absence will maybe create a form of appreciation for the few/little time they'll see each other
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by AmazingELixir: 4:38pm On Sep 21, 2023
lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

The quoted is a whole body of paradox, Op you can do better than this, the qualities you highlighted are in conflict with your latter statements.

1 Like

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by vannessa7(f): 4:38pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
If you engage her in a dialogue, she'll pick offense. I've tried many times. And to add too, she complains virtually about everything. She'll hardly see what you do as good.

My dad is late.

You are always in her face, why don't you get busy, try and be scarce, stop seeking her approval and you will not be disappointed. Occupy yourself with something beneficial outside while you process your admissions, could be sport or apprenticeship, get a life. Also look up self development books online on Approval Seeking, can't remember any title now, get some and read them. It can be soul destroying if you don't cure yourself of expecting people's approval no matter who they are, develop your confidence too, it will help you be strong because you will have inner worth and one way to do that is to live a honest life full of integrity, people that engage in crime or any bad character always have low self esteem because they have betrayed themselves. Reading the word of God also gives confidence.
Realise that parents are human too and they are not perfect, you are to love them and honour them no matter how they come but know their weakness and work on yourself.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Nobody: 4:38pm On Sep 21, 2023
Judybash93:
Since you've figured it out, It's time for you to appreciate yourself.
Exactly 💯

Alot of Nigerians have this mum, they do everything for, but never appreciative and nags alot.

So bro, ignore her and stay focused, the moment she begins to get into your head. You are gone o!

1 Like

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Babaken(m): 4:39pm On Sep 21, 2023
She appreciates you wella she just want you to do more.

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