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My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Ate247(m): 6:14pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.
if you're a woman. It's okay to feel this way. But if you're a man. Just know she's doing you good. Because what you have ahead of you, really don't need appreciation. So you have to be strong and be that man.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Dchampion65: 6:15pm On Sep 21, 2023
You will soon gain admission.
Keep doing good, don't lookout for any gratitude so that won't be disappointed.
She will miss you when you away from home.

She is trying to make you better though I must admit the approach is wrong.

Are you the only son?
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by chukkystar(m): 6:38pm On Sep 21, 2023
Pessimistic person. Alot of Adults with that mindset that only see the Negatives in every Situation
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Comradewitney(f): 6:40pm On Sep 21, 2023
Maybe you are not are biological daughter, you could be her adopted child.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by FuckTheMod: 6:47pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.
So with her attitude, you still want to continue DECEIVING yourself that
" l have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all"
Why are people like this in this country? cheesy
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Bananapill: 6:56pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.

It hurts but only your loved ones can act like that and you must act normal. You sef use joke tell her say she no dey try.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by chiboycue: 7:02pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.

Everyone has a cross to bear in life. You have just shared your cross. Just ask God for the grace to bear it. Always be good to your mother inspite of her shortcoming.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Coly2012(m): 7:05pm On Sep 21, 2023
Calm down, you are not the only one passing through such,we plenty,just keep on living your life and appreciate yourself always,till date my mom appreciate my wife and don't joke with my kids even telling them am the best and I bring light and life to her being but when she sees me am like an idiot to her, that's how it has been from my childhood,to see how funny this is am her last child. So relax, inside he she loves you Soo much.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by delpee(f): 7:06pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.

This is emotional abuse. Very saddening coming from a parent. If she does the same to others, I'll say it's an attitudinal issue which requires correction. If not, it's something deeper. Does she have issues with your dad? Some mothers project bitterness against their spouses/baby daddy on their kids.

Maybe you should pour out your heart to your grandma. Don't get weighed down by misery/sorrow. It affects ones health in a slow but often devastating way.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by sirdick17: 7:17pm On Sep 21, 2023
As far as im concern my mother can do no wrong
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Obiorahpcfg: 7:22pm On Sep 21, 2023
Make your self scarce to her, by keeping ur progress to urself and will put her on her toes to ask why u suddenly changed
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by FireUpNow(m): 7:28pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.
Then appreciate yourself better then your sweet and #1mom will appreciate you
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by fineberry(m): 7:34pm On Sep 21, 2023
My dad is exactly like your mum just the way you describe her.. funny enough my mum is the exact opposite of my dad.

No matter what good gesture you do to my dad he will never appreciate. I used to be bordered about that kind attitude and treatment from him....hahah...but not anymore, I go ahead and do the best I can for him whether you appreciate it ...cool and if he doesn't.... fine.
My mum will always be like.....see overlook his attitude my son, God will bless you, you will go places with how much you've help us.....these are words that keeps me going, ignoring my dad and his unappreciative manner.

So Op, you gat to encourage your self, I understand how u feel I swear....for the sake of who you are just keep doing your best for her. The way you serve your parent is the same way your own children too will serve you.

1 Like

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by ambient: 7:47pm On Sep 21, 2023
Sorry,she would have appreciated you on the generator thing,she really over did the tough love.she is already set in her ways,there is really nothing you can do
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Sandralight(f): 7:50pm On Sep 21, 2023
There are some mothers like that, that is one of the reason I will always appreciate my Mum ( May her soul rest in peace)

I remembered when I went to write one scholarship exam like that, I just finished primary school and the scholarship was hosted by an oil company in our area.

Their plan was to collect just 6 people and train them for the six years in secondary school, they will pay for everything.

So I went for the exam and because then I was used to questions only written on one side of the exam question, I answered the front page which was 20 questions, my mind didn't go to look at the back of the question paper.
I even thought I was done and I was wondering why many of the students were still answering the questions.

Long story short, I rested my head until the supervisor said it was 5 min to go then I saw some of the kids checking the back of the question, I quickly check the question paper and I realized that there was more questions there and the questions were 50 in total.

I wanted to cry, I Sha did my best and answer up to 30 before they took my answer paper.
I came in 7th, I cried and cried because I know if I had answered all the questions I will be in the top 6

When I got home, my mum saw my face and hug me, even after I told her everything and my mistake, she never used it against me even when I made her angry.
She was a very kind soul 😔

1 Like

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Rossikk(m): 7:54pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.

SHE IS A NARCISSIST AND MANIPULATOR.

GOOGLE AND RESEARCH THOSE TERMS.

SHE WILL NEVER CHANGE.

SHE WILL NEVER APOLOGISE FOR ANYTHING BECAUSE NARCISSISTS BELIEVE THEY ARE PERFECT.

SHE WILL EMOTIONALLY ABUSE, CONTROL AND MANIPULATE YOU, BECAUSE SHE GETS HER ‘NARCISSISTIC SUPPLY’ FROM YOU.

YOU WILL ONLY BE FREE FROM HER TOXICITY WHEN YOU GO ‘NO CONTACT’.

THANK ME LATER WHEN YOU FINALLY GROW UP.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Rossikk(m): 8:00pm On Sep 21, 2023
Shinny1:
My dear if you have tried going through dialogue with her and it didn't produce any results..why don't you try taking it to God and talk to God about it and pray for God to touch her heart to start loving you
Please keep showing her love no matter what cos one day, you will be shocked that deep down in her heart she really appreciate everything...
And also I think she has a high expectations from you but you need to focus on God to be able to achieve it cos by strength shall no man prevail
Please keep loving her cos love covert all things

I HAVE NEVER READ SO MUCH BULLSHIIT IN MY LIFE.

SHE IS EMOTIONALLY ABUSING HIM, AND YOUR SOLUTION IS TO SHOW HER MORE LOVE.

IS HE HER SLAVE?

WHAT SORT OF STUPID MENTALITY IS THIS?

AND YOU ARE CALLING GOD.

GOD ALSO WANTS HIM TO USE HIS BRAIN AND STAND UP FOR HIS RIGHTS.

1 Like

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Juniorangel(m): 8:09pm On Sep 21, 2023
Some mothers show love differently, if she compares you, she is just trying to make you better, and if gives you an instruction please strictly adhere to what she said. Endure all this when you are more matured you will understand better.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Rossikk(m): 8:10pm On Sep 21, 2023
Babatunjo:
She wants you to expand and grow, that's why.

When you marry, your wife will do same.

When you help your female colleagues at work, they'll do things that will make you feel unappreciated.

It's a woman's subconscious way of challenging you to grow bigger in life.

I know the explanation is not straightforward but why not take up the challenge and keep on doing bigger things for her, hoping she'll appreciate it one day, while at the same time, never feeling bad for not being appreciated.. it's just normal with women.

Appreciation and compliments most time are manipulative when it comes from women, you don't need it and shouldn't crave for it.
Get used to not being appreciated by women. Your job is to keep growing, getting better and doing your best in providing for those who are in your responsibility circle, including your wife, mother and children. F#ck their appreciation.

If you actually crave for their appreciation or concerned that they are not appreciating you enough, then honestly, it says alot about you than about them.

ABSOLUTE NONSENSE. WOMAN NEVER SHOW YOU.

THATS WHY YOU DEY TYPE THIS RUBBISH.

THOSE WOMEN WHO DO THIS STUFF ARE NARCISSISTS.

TRY THE EXACT SAME TACTICS AND BEHAVIOUR AGAINST THEM AND SEE HOW THEY RESPOND.

THEY WILL RESPOND VICIOUSLY.

AS IN “HOW DARE YOU? DON’T YOU KNOW YOUR PLACE?”

BECAUSE THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT COMING FROM A PLACE OF LOVE, BUT A PLACE OF CONTROL, EMOTIONAL DOMINATION AND A STRONG SENSE OF SUPERIORITY OVER THEIR VICTIM.

1 Like

Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by moneyissweet(m): 8:21pm On Sep 21, 2023
Some people are like that especially Scorpio and Germini

Always be the best you can be and stop expecting her to appreciate you. Love yourself and always appreciate yourself.

Soon she will start appreciating you.



Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by BRATISLAVA: 9:05pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.

It's because she has a favorite sibling/family member/friend—and it isn't you— but she has not said it openly, though you probably know who it is already, or because she tends to desire the things others have. Or she feels you are too loved by your father, more than she is, and need to be taken down a peg or two.

Just be yourself. Do things for her, if you want to, not because she will ever appreciate you. She may not.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by cobby14(m): 9:06pm On Sep 21, 2023
Learn to endure that, I face that from both parents all the time. Funny thing the folks they compare you to,deep down will be happy to be like you.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by firearcher: 9:52pm On Sep 21, 2023
We love our mums, but they are not saints. They have their shortcomings and weaknesses.
That might just be your mum's own. She could just be difficult to please or satisfied as a person. Changing her should not be your priority but learning to appreciate yourself. We can't often change how others behaviour towards us, but we can control how we react or respond to them
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Solidex(m): 10:03pm On Sep 21, 2023
I think you should get used to expecting less appreciation from your mum or any other female gender now and in time to come.
That doesn't change the fact that she loves you. Believe me every mother can not afford to love their children less, it is just a natural phenomenon.
Ingratitude is imprinted in the gene of the female folks. Know this and know peace.
By the time you grow up, you ll realise that she ll be very happy any time you care for her, but the moment you don't keep up with your provisions, you ll be in trouble.
Wives are even worse.
Don't expect any appreciation from your mum.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by dontrulee: 10:47pm On Sep 21, 2023
She's trying to mold you into being a strong Man but she isn't doing it the right way.

Op, your Mum loves you and that's why she's got high standards for you. I was once in your shoes when I was younger, my Mum never saw anything I did as good enough. I did more than my best, overstretched myself still no appreciation. I perfectly understand how you feel, especially when you're in your teenage period.

The teenage period is a period of transitioning, you're leaving the shell of a kid or a child and evolving into an adult. To evolve successfully, you'll need a lot of emotional care, attention, love, support, encouragement, courage etc. From your write-up, it seems you're lacking a bit of these things hence you'll have to seek a replacement by believing in yourself, building your self confidence and self esteem, believing and praying to God etc.

In your teenage years, your mood will be unstable because of your hormonal changes, "words" will seem to have very crazy and mad effect on your mental frame. It's all part of the making, if you survive this with a sound mind, you'll be impervious to words and you'll be more action oriented.

Do not resent your mother, she's a very nice woman and wants the best for you. Learn to appreciate yourself for that's the highest level of appreciation. Love your Mum.
It will surprise you to know that your Mum actually needs love, she needs to be appreciated, when last did you tell her sweet words? When last did you make her laugh? When last did you sing for her? Your Mum needs all these things
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by phemmyfour: 10:52pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.
I can tell you for free that she does appreciate you. She doesn't want it to get into your head, that's why she's not showing it. That's how African mothers behave.

If you really want to know if she does, spy on her while discussing you with her friends, she ll be using you as bragging right
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by billagreen(m): 10:57pm On Sep 21, 2023
eleko1:
sad your momma isn’t trying to mar I U but to make u.Dnt be offend u’ll be a big boy in 5/6 yrs time.Endure it.There is none like parents

The only nonsense I've read
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by CJStarz: 11:26pm On Sep 21, 2023
If you can help it, keep away from her for some time. She's caustic.

Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by Coolgent(m): 11:29pm On Sep 21, 2023
Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.
Communication is the key...
Find a way to ask her why she don't appreciate you? Let her know that her appreciation will surely serve as motivation
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by CJStarz: 11:31pm On Sep 21, 2023
Ha,dat kain mama no go fit listen to am. Infact,she go use broom sweep d boy away if he try say he dey call her for a meeting.
bukatyne:


Sorry for the feeling. sad

Call her and engage her in dialogue as to your feelings respectfully especially the comparison part.

You can ask her what she expects of you so you know what you are up against (you might not be able to meet everything; you are not God).

What about your dad?
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by litaninja(m): 11:56pm On Sep 21, 2023
This is a joke right?

eleko1:
sad your momma isn’t trying to mar I U but to make u.Dnt be offend u’ll be a big boy in 5/6 yrs time.Endure it.There is none like parents
Re: My Mom Doesn't Appreciate Me. How Do I Handle This? by rapcy(m): 12:28am On Sep 22, 2023
Start doing things with no expectation of any gratitude from her, do it because you want to do it not because you need any appreciation from her. When she notice say you no too send her appreciation again, she'll start trying to get your attention back

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