| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by elantraceey(f): 12:10pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
Votukpa:
Goddamn.
First off. In so much as I have not heard the other side, I have a strong witness in me that your narrative is sincere. This is the only thing about your post I will applaud.
Everyone here is trying to advise you on what you should have done or can do. They don't understand your problem. They can't because they didn't experience what you experienced nor do they see what you see. They also don't know very much about how this world and it's aspects were designed.
I won't sympathize with your plight, neither will I tell you what to do. I will however give you some 'mental keys' to unlock your understand as to what happened, as well as some principles to live by.
1. Women, by design CANNOT love. CANNOT = incapability given lack of adequate tools or equipment to perform a task or an action. What is Love? God is Love. Love is when one is weak and his or her partner is able to contain the former. Love is not reciprocal. If it were it wouldn't be love. by design, only a man is CAPABLE of love. That's you. The only way a woman can love a man (the way a man loves a woman) is if she is filled with God (love). This goes against the grain of the feminine. Principle: a woman who fears God is the most excellent of women. She is rare and your wife isn't her. Women are transactional by design. She will only submit (admit she's under) you, if you supply her needs. Selah.
Your father was supposed to teach you this.
2. Bearing ALL the responsibilities of a home is ENTIRELY on your shoulders. This is, also, according to design. If you're not doing it, your wife will never submit to you (admit she's under you) and she will act accordingly- disrespect you and cheat on you. That's her design. Principle: bear all the responsibilities of the home while she keeps the home. This is order. There will be harmony and she will be happy.
Your father was supposed to teach you this.
3. ALL Women are hypergamous by design. She can't submit to you if she's better than you in anyway. Seeing that money symbolizes power to a woman, if she has more of it than you, she WILL cheat on you, most likely with a man who is 'better' than you. This is a reflex action for her. Principle: Always be better than your woman. ALWAYS. You can either be improving faster than her or you can destroy her progress completely and keep her at home, while making her comfortable.
Your father was supposed to teach you this.
4. Very important: A woman has more glory than a man in this world. You probably never realized this but as far as progress in this world is concerned, a woman will have more power and privileges over a man if you put them at par from the onset. A woman will make more money than a man if they are mates. A woman is better looking than a man from the begining. She will grow faster than man. She will command more favor than a man. This is by design. A woman has all the power in this world and she will submit it to a man whom she judges is better than her in every way. Principle: You MUST be 'GLORIFIED' before you marry. You must be 'something' before you marry, not hopeful to be, after the marriage. This is design. When I say be glorified, I mean be indestructible. Be GODREADYMADE. At this level, NOTHING can touch you because GOD himself would have forged you with his own hands. Meditate on this. To be GODREADYMADE, you must first go through a DIP. This is a crucible of flames and suffering that will refine you into 'Gold' at the end. Selah.
Even if your wife fears God, you CANNOT relax. A prudent wife is a gift from God. When God gives you a valuable asset, you still never get to relax. You work and develop yourself till you drop dead. This is order according to design. You were designed to work and grow forever. You still must totally dominate your life and hers.
It might be too late for your marriage to work out. Actually, once a wife sleeps with another man,
the marriage is dead. I would advise you to forgive her if she totally repents but I don't see that happening. Divorce her and move on. Live according to design. Be GODREADYMADE. If YHWH decides to gift you an actual wife, so be it. Otherwise, live for a purpose and let it define your life. Marriage is a calling, not a choice.
I would have loved to but I really can't disagree with anything here. Hard facts. |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 2:40pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
Hmmm... This is heartbreaking.
Many women are pretenders. Trust me. All they want at the initial stage is just to answer married and so they pretend to be hundred yards wife material by acting like they can manage with you in your lowest moments but afterwards change overnight when the heat of the nitti-gritti of marriage begins to hit them.
I want to ask. Did this kind of women not endure with their fathers when the chips were down in their family house?
Did they insult or keep malice with their fathers when he couldn't provide for the family?
Why do they now turn around and begin to misbehave when their husbands face such hard times? That's just plain wickedness.
Op, hope you don't plan going back to her? Because this one you're still saying " she's not a bad woman". I wonder what other ways to describe that kind of woman if not bad. |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by djon78(m): 2:40pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
Votukpa:
Goddamn.
First off. In so much as I have not heard the other side, I have a strong witness in me that your narrative is sincere. This is the only thing about your post I will applaud.
Everyone here is trying to advise you on what you should have done or can do. They don't understand your problem. They can't because they didn't experience what you experienced nor do they see what you see. They also don't know very much about how this world and it's aspects were designed.
I won't sympathize with your plight, neither will I tell you what to do. I will however give you some 'mental keys' to unlock your understand as to what happened, as well as some principles to live by.
1. Women, by design CANNOT love. CANNOT = incapability given lack of adequate tools or equipment to perform a task or an action. What is Love? God is Love. Love is when one is weak and his or her partner is able to contain the former. Love is not reciprocal. If it were it wouldn't be love. by design, only a man is CAPABLE of love. That's you. The only way a woman can love a man (the way a man loves a woman) is if she is filled with God (love). This goes against the grain of the feminine. Principle: a woman who fears God is the most excellent of women. She is rare and your wife isn't her. Women are transactional by design. She will only submit (admit she's under) you, if you supply her needs. Selah.
Your father was supposed to teach you this.
2. Bearing ALL the responsibilities of a home is ENTIRELY on your shoulders. This is, also, according to design. If you're not doing it, your wife will never submit to you (admit she's under you) and she will act accordingly- disrespect you and cheat on you. That's her design. Principle: bear all the responsibilities of the home while she keeps the home. This is order. There will be harmony and she will be happy.
Your father was supposed to teach you this.
3. ALL Women are hypergamous by design. She can't submit to you if she's better than you in anyway. Seeing that money symbolizes power to a woman, if she has more of it than you, she WILL cheat on you, most likely with a man who is 'better' than you. This is a reflex action for her. Principle: Always be better than your woman. ALWAYS. You can either be improving faster than her or you can destroy her progress completely and keep her at home, while making her comfortable.
Your father was supposed to teach you this.
4. Very important: A woman has more glory than a man in this world. You probably never realized this but as far as progress in this world is concerned, a woman will have more power and privileges over a man if you put them at par from the onset. A woman will make more money than a man if they are mates. A woman is better looking than a man from the begining. She will grow faster than man. She will command more favor than a man. This is by design. A woman has all the power in this world and she will submit it to a man whom she judges is better than her in every way. Principle: You MUST be 'GLORIFIED' before you marry. You must be 'something' before you marry, not hopeful to be, after the marriage. This is design. When I say be glorified, I mean be indestructible. Be GODREADYMADE. At this level, NOTHING can touch you because GOD himself would have forged you with his own hands. Meditate on this. To be GODREADYMADE, you must first go through a DIP. This is a crucible of flames and suffering that will refine you into 'Gold' at the end. Selah.
Even if your wife fears God, you CANNOT relax. A prudent wife is a gift from God. When God gives you a valuable asset, you still never get to relax. You work and develop yourself till you drop dead. This is order according to design. You were designed to work and grow forever. You still must totally dominate your life and hers.
It might be too late for your marriage to work out. Actually, once a wife sleeps with another man,
the marriage is dead. I would advise you to forgive her if she totally repents but I don't see that happening. Divorce her and move on. Live according to design. Be GODREADYMADE. If YHWH decides to gift you an actual wife, so be it. Otherwise, live for a purpose and let it define your life. Marriage is a calling, not a choice.
very insightful Learnt from this |
| Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by DonroxyII: 4:31pm On Feb 04, 2022 |
iHart:
God please help me in my marriage, I don't want to experience all these stories I read on nairaland. Amen. 1 Like |
