Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,935,979 members, 7,104,192 topics. Date: Wednesday, 05 October 2022 at 07:34 PM

I Was A Husband: My Experience - Family (7) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Was A Husband: My Experience (125564 Views)

Should A Husband And Wife Stay In Separate Rooms? / Posters Warning A Husband Snatcher In Enugu Flood The Streets / Wife To Husband: ‘my Pregnancy Isn’t Yours’ (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (43) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by UjuJoan2: 9:36am On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:
Such a sad story. Glad you are doing well.

See women are not good at paying a man's bills. We are not wired that way.

She starts seeing such a man as a child.

Once a man stops seeing the woman as his bread winner - the way will open for him like it opened for OP.

Young men get money! there is a financial clock for men.

OP, happy for you.


I agree . . . I will never respect any man I have to feed. I just won't be able to.

I imagine it may look unfair as that would mean men have no room for failure, or they will never find love. But that's just the reality.

Being the superior gender is not an easy feat!

7 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 9:43am On May 14, 2020
UjuJoan2:


I agree . . . I will never respect any man I have to feed. I just won't be able to.

I imagine it may look unfair as that would mean men have no room for failure, or they will never find love. But that's just the reality.

Being the superior gender is not an easy feat!

Uju for the win.

I trust my igbo sis... even though I am ijebu but igbo by marriage.

Men need respect! Respect is love for a man.
Once he provides we respect him and devote ourselves to him and that is true love.

The other one is abhoring an infidel.... and it is not good because such women make the man's life hell.

6 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by dayleke: 9:58am On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


Sir, if you want to be eating from your wife's sweat you are welcome to eat it... infact some parents eat from thier young kids sweat and ask them to hawk. Everybody wants different for thier life.

I gave my opinion and experience and belief.

However every human has free will.

Eat away sir. (It is a prayer)

First of all, let me say I'm sorry for having quoted you in the first place. It was this one I saw first that I quoted to debunk what you said but after reading subsequent quotes, I can only say SORRY.

With this kind of warped mentality and interpretation that you are giving that verse in the bible, I can only say WOW!!!!.

"Eating out of my wife's sweat"?
"An infidel" if I can not provide for the family?
This is the 21st century for crying out loud.
A wife/husband that you both said "in sickness, in health till death do you part"?
So pulling resources together as a family is now an abomination?
Like I said before, what works for you may not work for someone else but do not put the other person down or say their way is wrong.
You live in an environment in which you wanna have a better life for you and your family and you find out pulling all resources together by both of you can make you accomplish that, you call that eating out of the wife's sweat?
Just check this out.
Wife works dayshift, husband works night shift.
Husband gets the kids ready for school in the morning while wife gets ready for work.
Husband takes the kids to school and is home when they come back. Assist the kids with homework and cook for the family before wife comes back from work.(Since he is home, why will d wife who's been working all day will come and start cooking again?). Kids attend public schools cos you pay taxes and they are good schools too.
Husband goes to work for his own shift.
Household chores are shared as need arises.
All bills are paid from a common purse. Everyone is happy. So which one be INFIDEL there now?
If wife's medical insurance plan is better than the hubby's, all family members are put on the insurance including the "infidel".
My sister, if you find yourself in an environment whereby you have to do the right thing to survive and enjoy your life to the fullest, you have to do it.
God bless you and say you wanna do it by yourself and not be an "infidel", na "dead infidel" you go be sef.
In marriage, love and understanding is not enough, good financial planning is needed too.

I wonder what you will say to a man who has been shouldering everything for his family for years and suddenly have a debilitating illness like a stroke or something and can not do so anymore. Should the wife not work and take over the running of the family affairs?
Or she should just go and find another man to take care of her?

Like I said in my first quote, "God bless your family" but please do not use your own yardstick for other marriages out there and please also stop quoting that verse.

Shalom.

39 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by TheSociopath(m): 9:59am On May 14, 2020
generationz:


Nope, why?

Your comment sounded like you were married grin
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 10:10am On May 14, 2020
dayleke:


First of all, let me say I'm sorry for having quoted you in the first place. It was this one I saw first that I quoted to debunk what you said but after reading subsequent quotes, I can only say SORRY.

With this kind of warped mentality and interpretation that you are giving that verse in the bible, I can only say WOW!!!!.

"Eating out of my wife's sweat"?
"An infidel" if I can not provide for the family?
This is the 21st century for crying out loud.
A wife/husband that you both said "in sickness, in health till death do you part"?
So pulling resources together as a family is now an abomination?
Like I said before, what works for you may not work for someone else but do not put the other person down or say their way is wrong.
You live in an environment in which you wanna have a better life for you and your family and you find out pulling all resources together by both of you can make you accomplish that, you call that eating out of the wife's sweat?
Just check this out.
Wife works dayshift, husband works night shift.
Husband gets the kids ready for school in the morning while wife gets ready for work.
Husband takes the kids to school and is home when they come back. Assist the kids with homework and cook for the family before wife comes back from work.(Since he is home, why will d wife who's been working all day will come and start cooking again?). Kids attend public schools cos you pay taxes and they are good schools too.
Husband goes to work for his own shift.
Household chores are shared as need arises.
All bills are paid from a common purse. Everyone is happy. So which one be INFIDEL there now?
If wife's medical insurance plan is better than the hubby's, all family members are put on the insurance including the "infidel".
My sister, if you find yourself in an environment whereby you have to do the right thing to survive and enjoy your life to the fullest, you have to do it.
God bless you and say you wanna do it by yourself and not be an "infidel", na "dead infidel" you go be sef.
In marriage, love and understanding is not enough, good financial planning is needed too.

I wonder what you will say to a man who has been shouldering everything for his family for years and suddenly have a debilitating illness like a stroke or something and can not do so anymore. Should the wife not work and take over the running of the family affairs?
Or she should just go and find another man to take care of her?

Like I said in my first quote, "God bless your family" but please do not use your own yardstick for other marriages out there and please also stop quoting that verse.

Shalom.

Oga ade, the epistle is long so I did not read it.

Pls refer back to your free will.

Thanks

3 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Raalsalghul: 10:18am On May 14, 2020
dayleke:


First of all, let me say I'm sorry for having quoted you in the first place. It was this one I saw first that I quoted to debunk what you said but after reading subsequent quotes, I can only say SORRY.

With this kind of warped mentality and interpretation that you are giving that verse in the bible, I can only say WOW!!!!.

"Eating out of my wife's sweat"?
"An infidel" if I can not provide for the family?
This is the 21st century for crying out loud.
A wife/husband that you both said "in sickness, in health till death do you part"?
So pulling resources together as a family is now an abomination?
Like I said before, what works for you may not work for someone else but do not put the other person down or say their way is wrong.
You live in an environment in which you wanna have a better life for you and your family and you find out pulling all resources together by both of you can make you accomplish that, you call that eating out of the wife's sweat?
Just check this out.
Wife works dayshift, husband works night shift.
Husband gets the kids ready for school in the morning while wife gets ready for work.
Husband takes the kids to school and is home when they come back. Assist the kids with homework and cook for the family before wife comes back from work.(Since he is home, why will d wife who's been working all day will come and start cooking again?). Kids attend public schools cos you pay taxes and they are good schools too.
Husband goes to work for his own shift.
Household chores are shared as need arises.
All bills are paid from a common purse. Everyone is happy. So which one be INFIDEL there now?
If wife's medical insurance plan is better than the hubby's, all family members are put on the insurance including the "infidel".
My sister, if you find yourself in an environment whereby you have to do the right thing to survive and enjoy your life to the fullest, you have to do it.
God bless you and say you wanna do it by yourself and not be an "infidel", na "dead infidel" you go be sef.
In marriage, love and understanding is not enough, good financial planning is needed too.

I wonder what you will say to a man who has been shouldering everything for his family for years and suddenly have a debilitating illness like a stroke or something and can not do so anymore. Should the wife not work and take over the running of the family affairs?
Or she should just go and find another man to take care of her?

Like I said in my first quote, "God bless your family" but please do not use your own yardstick for other marriages out there and please also stop quoting that verse.

Shalom.

Now I understand why Dirkcoyt is not interested in marriage.

What, is it with all this fuckery that "baby" persona is pasting.

Jeez!

9 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by generationz(f): 10:46am On May 14, 2020
TheSociopath:


Your comment sounded like you were married grin
Haha, I'm just a good observer.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by UjuJoan2: 10:55am On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:


Glorious! Thanks. In my marriage I was the one deprived of affection and everything that comes with being married. I never for once looked else where and never discussed with anyone except now on this forum. I have always known that my condition was not permanent. I and believed that I was going rewrite my own story. All I wanted was a go at an opportunity and for her to stand by me and which never came. But when it finally came, the deed has been done. Forgiveness is grace, I have done that already. I swear I have nothing against her. To be honest, she doesn't even know that I have a job. She only knows I am not dead. She has called to let me know that I should work hard to help raise my kid. I am sure she is surprised, I send money to her account on a monthly basis for our kid's upkeep. There is no need for me to brag to her about my current status. If she finally knows, it will great for her. I believe the greatest gift in life is not just knowledge or wisdom but grace to believe, believe, and believe again. At the moment, I have not taken a decision on what next line of action is but what I do know is that she is not in any of the my plans. At the moment I am concentrating on re-certifications that I have not done in years. I will update you guy as LIFE gives me more "feedbacks".

I agree that your wife didn't handle the situation well. I mean, despite life's expectations, we should endeavor to, at least, be good people and show empathy to the people around us, husband or not. That being said, I think we do not know the full story. You make your wife sound like a sociopath, but we all know there's always more to the story.

Men have a lot of pride and can appear overbearing. Maybe your wife reacted that way because of her past experience with you.

3 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by CAPSLOCKED: 11:07am On May 14, 2020
UjuJoan2:


I agree . . . I will never respect any man I have to feed. I just won't be able to.

I imagine it may look unfair as that would mean men have no room for failure, or they will never find love. But that's just the reality.

THAT'S JUST THE FACT. YOU'RE HUNDRED PERCENT ON POINT.
THIS IS WHY I TELL MEN TO NEVER BE WITH A WOMAN THAT EARNS MORE THAN THEM. INFACT, LEAVE THE MARRIAGE ONCE YOUR JOB IS SHAKY. DON'T EVEN WAIT UNTIL YOU LOSE IT BECAUSE HELL FIRE IS BETTER THAN A MARRIAGE WHERE A WOMAN IS PAYING YOUR BILLS.

27 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by CAPSLOCKED: 11:11am On May 14, 2020
dayleke:
A wife/husband that you both said "in sickness, in health till death do you part"?
So pulling resources together as a family is now an abomination?

MARITAL VOWS ARE THE THIRD MOST USELESS THINGS IN THE WORLD AND THERE'S NO POINT IN TAKING THEM.
POLITICAL VOWS AND RELIGION REMAIN THE SECOND AND FIRST.

23 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by crackland: 11:14am On May 14, 2020
UjuJoan2:


I agree . . . I will never respect any man I have to feed. I just won't be able to.

I imagine it may look unfair as that would mean men have no room for failure, or they will never find love. But that's just the reality.

Being the superior gender is not an easy feat!
Not an easy feat at all...

Glad to know you understand there is a superior gender.

13 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by crackland: 11:17am On May 14, 2020
CAPSLOCKED:


THAT'S JUST THE FACT. YOU'RE HUNDRED PERCENT ON POINT.
THIS IS WHY I TELL MEN TO NEVER BE WITH A WOMAN THAT EARNS MORE THAN THEM. INFACT, LEAVE THE MARRIAGE ONCE YOUR JOB IS SHAKY. DON'T EVEN WAIT UNTIL YOU LOSE IT BECAUSE HELL FIRE IS BETTER THAN A MARRIAGE WHERE A WOMAN IS PAYING YOUR BILLS.
Bro any man that remains in the house eating his wife's money after life happened to him, is on his own.

Same thing I've always stated here.

He ought to move far away from her and only visit occasionally to see the kids.
If it's not against his moral/ethical codes, he can have a side-chic at his new base to release tension once in a while.

12 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by UjuJoan2: 11:19am On May 14, 2020
crackland:

Not an easy feat at all...

Glad to know you understand there is a superior gender.

I meant that as an irony.

Of course, if men were truly superior they would never find themselves in a position where mere women will have to cater for them. It's that assumption of superiority that has put you guys in this exact position.

3 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by crackland: 11:24am On May 14, 2020
UjuJoan2:


I meant that as an irony.

Of course, if men were truly superior they would never find themselves in a position where mere women will have to cater for them. It's that assumption of superiority that has put you guys in this exact position.

Whatever the irony, what you meant by that statement is, a man who provides for his family without complaints, is superior to a woman.

Yes or yes?

13 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 11:56am On May 14, 2020
Avoid stupid arguments.

3 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 11:58am On May 14, 2020
dayleke:


First of all, let me say I'm sorry for having quoted you in the first place. It was this one I saw first that I quoted to debunk what you said but after reading subsequent quotes, I can only say SORRY.

With this kind of warped mentality and interpretation that you are giving that verse in the bible, I can only say WOW!!!!.

"Eating out of my wife's sweat"?
"An infidel" if I can not provide for the family?
This is the 21st century for crying out loud.
A wife/husband that you both said "in sickness, in health till death do you part"?
So pulling resources together as a family is now an abomination?
Like I said before, what works for you may not work for someone else but do not put the other person down or say their way is wrong.
You live in an environment in which you wanna have a better life for you and your family and you find out pulling all resources together by both of you can make you accomplish that, you call that eating out of the wife's sweat?
Just check this out.
Wife works dayshift, husband works night shift.
Husband gets the kids ready for school in the morning while wife gets ready for work.
Husband takes the kids to school and is home when they come back. Assist the kids with homework and cook for the family before wife comes back from work.(Since he is home, why will d wife who's been working all day will come and start cooking again?). Kids attend public schools cos you pay taxes and they are good schools too.
Husband goes to work for his own shift.
Household chores are shared as need arises.
All bills are paid from a common purse. Everyone is happy. So which one be INFIDEL there now?
If wife's medical insurance plan is better than the hubby's, all family members are put on the insurance including the "infidel".
My sister, if you find yourself in an environment whereby you have to do the right thing to survive and enjoy your life to the fullest, you have to do it.
God bless you and say you wanna do it by yourself and not be an "infidel", na "dead infidel" you go be sef.
In marriage, love and understanding is not enough, good financial planning is needed too.

I wonder what you will say to a man who has been shouldering everything for his family for years and suddenly have a debilitating illness like a stroke or something and can not do so anymore. Should the wife not work and take over the running of the family affairs?
Or she should just go and find another man to take care of her?

Like I said in my first quote, "God bless your family" but please do not use your own yardstick for other marriages out there and please also stop quoting that verse.

Shalom.

You write so long though I did not read it so will not know if it is well but a few infidels read it.

If you are still asking you wife to pay Bills then you need below.

Content writers long epistle people can earn money from it. $85 per hour on up work....

Go for it.

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Genset: 12:18pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


It has worked for me for 19 years and works for many people too.

The ones who donot adher to roles open marital thread on Nairaland


Very true. U re Igbo right?

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by dayleke: 12:20pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


You write so long though I did not read it so will not know if it is well but a few infidels read it.

If you are still asking you wife to pay Bills then you need below.

Content writers long epistle people can earn money from it. $85 per hour on up work....

Go for it.

Ok ma.

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by dayleke: 12:21pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


Oga ade, the epistle is long so I did not read it.

Pls refer back to your free will.

Thanks

Okay.
Thank you.

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Genset: 12:23pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


kiss kiss kiss kiss



Awwwwn. Am happy for u sis. What is ur advise for unmarried young girls like me?
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by dayleke: 12:27pm On May 14, 2020
Raalsalghul:


Now I understand why Dirkcoyt is not interested in marriage.

What, is it with all this fuckery that "baby" persona is pasting.

Jeez!

Na so bro.....
People really need to experience life and see that there are no laid down rules when it comes to certain things.

5 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by dayleke: 12:30pm On May 14, 2020
CAPSLOCKED:


THAT'S JUST THE FACT. YOU'RE HUNDRED PERCENT ON POINT.
THIS IS WHY I TELL MEN TO NEVER BE WITH A WOMAN THAT EARNS MORE THAN THEM. INFACT, LEAVE THE MARRIAGE ONCE YOUR JOB IS SHAKY. DON'T EVEN WAIT UNTIL YOU LOSE IT BECAUSE HELL FIRE IS BETTER THAN A MARRIAGE WHERE A WOMAN IS PAYING YOUR BILLS.

This sort of thinking is not good though.

4 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by dayleke: 12:32pm On May 14, 2020
crackland:

Bro any man that remains in the house eating his wife's money after life happened to him, is on his own.

Same thing I've always stated here.

He ought to move far away from her and only visit occasionally to see the kids.
If it's not against his moral/ethical codes, he can have a side-chic at his new base to release tension once in a while.

"Eating his wife money"?
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Genset: 12:38pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


I can NEVER aspire to be your mum.

She has a son seeking to be fed by a woman and he then shames women for being provided for in marriage.

Her son is a woman because he grew up seeing her be the man of the house - the provider.

Again you have no idea where your mum has taken her vagina too.... you will never know how many times that vagina has been traded to put food on your table..... not traded in marriage like mine ( your dad had nothing to offer her).... but traded on the high way because your father was not man enough to provide for his family.

If you go low I will go lower. Be warned I am not M Obama


I love u girl. Give them hot hot them broke leeches on Naira land

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by UjuJoan2: 12:49pm On May 14, 2020
crackland:

Whatever the irony, what you meant by that statement is, a man who provides for his family without complaints, is superior to a woman.

Yes or yes?

No, I meant claiming superiority has its own disadvantages. Won't it just be easier if we settled the battle of all ages by accepting that people are who they are, not an extension of their gender.

Claiming superiority and not being able to provide is kind of contradictory, don't you think?

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by DeeMain(m): 12:55pm On May 14, 2020
I shall more than bountifully provide for my family all the days of my life but God let these callous conditional love women not cross my path. Lord, may they be very far away from me. Grant me a virtuous woman as a wife, o God! I know they are out there. Direct me aright. Order my steps, my God and my King. In Jesus name, Amen.

The Virtuous Woman

Proverbs 31:10-31 King James Version (KJV)
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

King James Version (KJV)

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 12:56pm On May 14, 2020
[quote author=Genset post=89536746]


I love u girl. Give them hot hot them broke leeches

grin grin grin grin gringrin

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 12:59pm On May 14, 2020
Genset:




Awwwwn. Am happy for u sis. What is ur advise for unmarried young girls like me?

Do not marry a man who is happy to eat from your sweat.

No infidels

3 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 1:00pm On May 14, 2020
Genset:



Very true. U re Igbo right?

I am Ijebu and my Hubby is Igbo

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nasiruddeen(m): 1:03pm On May 14, 2020
Please my brother, can you forget all these childish posts and focus how to get a Biafra please.

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Xanderlex: 1:05pm On May 14, 2020
I sympathize with you poster. It is really a difficult situation. But one thing is listening is to listen to both sides before choosing who to blame in this situation. May God heal your broken heart.

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (43) (Reply)

Uncle Set To Divorce Wife After Plumber Removed 23 Condoms Blocking Our Toilet.. / Can You Suck Mucus Out your Childs Nose With Your Mouth? / My Wicked Wife Didn't Buy Christmas Clothes For Our House Help

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2022 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 254
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.