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Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes - Family - Nairaland

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Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(f): 8:48pm On May 12, 2020
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

187 Likes 20 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by KanwuliaExtra: 9:06pm On May 12, 2020
Still on “STRUGGLE LOVE”! cheesy

A thread with a “bemoaning, god-fearing husband” las las. cheesy

61 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by meetme01: 9:07pm On May 12, 2020
You don F-up. Raising your hands on any woman talkless your wife has degraded you. That's the bitter truth.

Back to the main issue. Your wife needs your unreserved apology. You need remorseful which is through your attitude. Let her know you are deeply sorry.

To her, is she not working? Why have you refused to set her up in a biz? One problem I have realized in today's marriage is, finance. It's really creating a lot of issues in most marriage. As a man, if you earn from three sources, declare only two. Let her know how the money is spent to the last kobo. That was the initial problem, you need to fix that part asap

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Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(f): 9:09pm On May 12, 2020
meetme01:
You don Bleep up. Raising your hands on any woman talkless your wife has degraded you. That's the bitter truth.
It was just a slap at her back.....just to caution her because I am not the talking type

126 Likes 10 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(f): 9:10pm On May 12, 2020
KanwuliaExtra:
Still on “STRUGGLE LOVE”! cheesy
She tends to be the best wife and mum if their is money but changes once its the opposite even her mum noticed her mood during this lockdown period.

33 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Bola146(f): 9:12pm On May 12, 2020
O ga o, let her know your worth, and always stand on how you manage your expenses. She is physically okay, let her go and work harder so that she can lavish it anyhow sad . I don't know why some women no get sense undecided

672 Likes 49 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by njelrapheal: 9:12pm On May 12, 2020
Outside influence, trust me. Ppl have been saying things into her ears. Op, watch her friends. Get her engaged, try to find the source of the negative influence.

458 Likes 32 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(f): 9:16pm On May 12, 2020
njelrapheal:
Outside influence, trust me. Ppl have been saying things into her ears. Op, watch her friends. Get her engaged, try to find the source of the negative influence.
Yes, she has been listening to how most of her friends have travelled out and seeing them on social media, how they send things home and the others on instagram but are we now running a race? Not that we are doing so badly here in Nigeria.

183 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Aplaudez(m): 9:16pm On May 12, 2020
The truth is you guys ain't understanding yourselves, if truly she's your wife and she's the mother of your daughter, create a very sweet environment, you can even take her out and sit her down and talk things out!

I'm not happy you couldn't caution yourself, what's done is done, please try to caution yourself next time!

God bless your family!

48 Likes 10 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Titi03(f): 9:16pm On May 12, 2020
Is there any reason why she can't work?

It's so unreasonable that she demands an 'extravagant" lifestyle from you that she's not working for undecided

241 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by KanwuliaExtra: 9:16pm On May 12, 2020
ademidedavid:

She tends to be the best wife and mum if their is money but changes once its the opposite even her mum noticed her mood during this lockdown period.

Who says things and people stay the same in marriage? undecided

11 Likes

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Poorboy: 9:16pm On May 12, 2020
Broke man ,broke man if her father is not broke will she be totally dependent on you.

How old is she?

Is she educated?

Does she have a job?

Is the other sisters married and doing well than you people?

Is she from a wealthy home, like she is used to comfort already?

Which state do you reside?

See you cannot satisfy greed, your wife is a greedy person. How can your wife ask you to look for money for her to travel out then you feel you have a wife.

Work on your emotions don't allow the term wife to make you try to impress, if you put yourself in unnecessary pressure to make money and die before your burial another man will already be sleeping with her. She is the money type.

Tell people the truth and let them know their worth, I once told my fiancee I am not your responsibility, if you can't survive quit.

Don't regret beating her, though I don't subscribe to that.

409 Likes 43 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Nobody: 9:16pm On May 12, 2020
KanwuliaExtra:
Still on “STRUGGLE LOVE”! cheesy

A thread with a “bemoaning, god-fearing husband las las. cheesy
How is it struggle love? abi she no see the man like this before she married him. OP didnt say she was forced or coerced into the marriage. She needs to get a job too, so she can live the kind of life she wants.

38 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(f): 9:18pm On May 12, 2020
Bola146:
O ga o, let her know your worth, and always stand on how you manage your expenses. She is physically okay, let her go and work harder so that she can lavish it anyhow sad . I don't know why some women no get sense undecided
She actually mentioned that its because she depends on my money and she doesn't want my money again, she has been over influenced with these fake ladies making cream online......without wanting to know the real source of their income

27 Likes 1 Share

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(f): 9:21pm On May 12, 2020
Aplaudez:
The truth is you guys ain't understanding yourselves, if truly she's your wife and she's the mother of your daughter, create a very sweet environment, you can even take her out and sit her down and talk things out!

I'm not happy you couldn't caution yourself, what's done is done, please try to caution yourself next time!

God bless your family!
Much gratitude for this piece of advice, I will as much as possible to and amen to the prayer.

3 Likes

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by LegitGirl(f): 9:22pm On May 12, 2020
ademidedavid:

It was just a slap at her back.....just to caution her because I am not the talking type

You’re not a serious person. You’re not the talking type... what are you then, the beating type?

Nonsense and ingredients! Coward!

56 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Titi03(f): 9:23pm On May 12, 2020
ademidedavid:

Yes, she has been listening to how most of her friends have travelled out and seeing them on social media, how they send things home and the others on instagram but are we now running a race? Not that we are doing so badly here in Nigeria.
ademidedavid:

She actually mentioned that its because she depends on my money and she doesn't want my money again, she has been over influenced with these fake ladies making cream online......without wanting to know the real source of their income

How old is your wife coz I don't understand this childish mentality.

Its 2020! do people still believe everything others post or "show off" on social media?

143 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Oluneutral: 9:25pm On May 12, 2020
@op, you left some points out. Is she working? If no, why? Is she handicapped? If yes, why can't she use her money to create the type of life she wants for herself? Why is she pressurizing you make more money when she can do such?




But op, you fucccked up seriously by laying your hands on her.

8 Likes

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by STARGREEN(m): 9:29pm On May 12, 2020
Change her circle of friends 1st.

9 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(f): 9:29pm On May 12, 2020
Titi03:



How old is your wife coz I don't understand this childish mentality.

Its 2020! do people still believe everything others post or "show off" on social media?
Its not for you to believe, just pray it doesn't happen to you.....but when it does happen, you will always live to believe any marital issues and work towards perfecting your home

7 Likes

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(f): 9:31pm On May 12, 2020
LegitGirl:


You’re not a serious person. You’re not the talking type... what are you then, the beating type?

Nonsense and ingredients! Coward!
Not that, just that we stay in a flat and I hate embarrassment in my marriage and she was already raising her voice.....

41 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(f): 9:34pm On May 12, 2020
Oluneutral:
@op, you left some points out. Is she working? If no, why? Is she handicapped? If yes, why can't she use her money to create the type of life she wants for herself? Why is she pressurizing you make more money when she can do such?




But op, you fucccked up seriously by laying your hands on her.

She's into her own business......that's my only regret, I wish I never raised my hands on her.

1 Like

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Oluneutral: 9:36pm On May 12, 2020
STARGREEN:
Change her circle of friends 1st.


Do you realize she's an adult?

The truth is that if she's not willing and ready to change her circle of friends, it is beyond what the husband can do, except if he wants to violently achieve that, which is not advisable.

Change comes from within.

47 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by HarunaWest(m): 9:36pm On May 12, 2020
Sorry to say but if I were in your shoes, that slap will land on her cheeks.
I hate when people don't appreciate someone's efforts.
If she want to live flamboyantly, then she should learn to make her own money. I won't take an insult on my person from someone that isnt contributing to my development.
Don't apologize for slapping her, just lock up. You are the man of the house not the other way round.
However, if she doesn't deem it fit to apologize to you, just dey look am.
If you dare apologize, you will kuku loose the remaining small respect that she has for you cos from look of things that woman has been brainwashed by material stuff. Cheers

300 Likes 26 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by STARGREEN(m): 9:38pm On May 12, 2020
Oluneutral:



Do you realize she's an adult?

The truth is that if she's not willing and ready to change her circle of friends, it is beyond what the husband can do, except if he wants to violently achieve that, which is not advisable.

Change comes from within.

Nothing is impossible to a determined mind, believe

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Oluneutral: 9:41pm On May 12, 2020
ademidedavid:

She's into her own business......that's my only regret, I wish I never raised my hands on her.



Fine, apologize to her for raising up your hands on her explaining to her that it wasn't intentional that it was out of provocation and calmly tell her that you can't do more than you're already doing presently, so you advise her to spend her money the way she deem fit, afterall, it's her money.

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by travelland(f): 9:45pm On May 12, 2020
Mr cautioner, hope you don't continue this way, if your wife can't tell you to go out and hustle I wonder who can encourage you in this life

9 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Poorboy: 9:48pm On May 12, 2020
travelland:
Mr cautioner, hope you don't continue this way, if your wife can't tell you to go out and hustle I wonder who can encourage you in this life


what stops her from going out to hustle since money is easy to make,
didn't you read the part the guy said he is a federal government staff on a 100k+ salary plus other hustle

148 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(f): 9:50pm On May 12, 2020
Oluneutral:




Fine, apologize to her for raising up your hands on her explaining to her that it wasn't intentional that it was out of provocation and calmly tell her that you can't do more than you're already doing presently, so you advise her to spend her money the way she deem fit, afterall, it's her money.
Thanks a lot, she's asleep now.....I sincerely appreciate.

1 Like

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(f): 9:53pm On May 12, 2020
travelland:
Mr cautioner, hope you don't continue this way, if your wife can't tell you to go out and hustle I wonder who can encourage you in this life
I am not the lazy type, I work hard to cater for my family, I am a federal worker and still didn't relent on that, a level 8 officer.....that was the statement that got me vexed, despite my hard work?

31 Likes 1 Share

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Oluneutral: 9:56pm On May 12, 2020
travelland:
Mr cautioner, hope you don't continue this way, if your wife can't tell you to go out and hustle I wonder who can encourage you in this life


And that too should include comparing her with other men o?

And what stops her from heeding to her own advice by hustling more instead of putting pressure on another human being who is just as human as her?


NLanders, you never disappoint!

97 Likes

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by jesmond3945: 9:57pm On May 12, 2020
ademidedavid:

Thanks a lot, she's asleep now.....I sincerely appreciate.
but my brother you must find a way to nip this in the bud o. It is just a matter of time your wife would fall into temptation.

24 Likes 1 Share

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