It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

Still on “STRUGGLE LOVE”!

A thread with a “bemoaning, god-fearing husband” las las.

You don F-up. Raising your hands on any woman talkless your wife has degraded you. That's the bitter truth.

Back to the main issue. Your wife needs your unreserved apology. You need remorseful which is through your attitude. Let her know you are deeply sorry.

To her, is she not working? Why have you refused to set her up in a biz? One problem I have realized in today's marriage is, finance. It's really creating a lot of issues in most marriage. As a man, if you earn from three sources, declare only two. Let her know how the money is spent to the last kobo. That was the initial problem, you need to fix that part asap

meetme01:
You don Bleep up. Raising your hands on any woman talkless your wife has degraded you. That's the bitter truth.

It was just a slap at her back.....just to caution her because I am not the talking type

KanwuliaExtra:
Still on “STRUGGLE LOVE”!

She tends to be the best wife and mum if their is money but changes once its the opposite even her mum noticed her mood during this lockdown period.

O ga o, let her know your worth, and always stand on how you manage your expenses. She is physically okay, let her go and work harder so that she can lavish it anyhow . I don't know why some women no get sense

Outside influence, trust me. Ppl have been saying things into her ears. Op, watch her friends. Get her engaged, try to find the source of the negative influence.

njelrapheal:
Outside influence, trust me. Ppl have been saying things into her ears. Op, watch her friends. Get her engaged, try to find the source of the negative influence.

Yes, she has been listening to how most of her friends have travelled out and seeing them on social media, how they send things home and the others on instagram but are we now running a race? Not that we are doing so badly here in Nigeria.

The truth is you guys ain't understanding yourselves, if truly she's your wife and she's the mother of your daughter, create a very sweet environment, you can even take her out and sit her down and talk things out!

I'm not happy you couldn't caution yourself, what's done is done, please try to caution yourself next time!

God bless your family!

Is there any reason why she can't work?

It's so unreasonable that she demands an 'extravagant" lifestyle from you that she's not working for

ademidedavid:

She tends to be the best wife and mum if their is money but changes once its the opposite even her mum noticed her mood during this lockdown period.

Who says things and people stay the same in marriage?

Broke man ,broke man if her father is not broke will she be totally dependent on you.

How old is she?

Is she educated?

Does she have a job?

Is the other sisters married and doing well than you people?

Is she from a wealthy home, like she is used to comfort already?

Which state do you reside?

See you cannot satisfy greed, your wife is a greedy person. How can your wife ask you to look for money for her to travel out then you feel you have a wife.

Work on your emotions don't allow the term wife to make you try to impress, if you put yourself in unnecessary pressure to make money and die before your burial another man will already be sleeping with her. She is the money type.

Tell people the truth and let them know their worth, I once told my fiancee I am not your responsibility, if you can't survive quit.

Don't regret beating her, though I don't subscribe to that.

KanwuliaExtra:
Still on “STRUGGLE LOVE”!

A thread with a “bemoaning, god-fearing husband las las.

How is it struggle love? abi she no see the man like this before she married him. OP didnt say she was forced or coerced into the marriage. She needs to get a job too, so she can live the kind of life she wants.

Bola146:
O ga o, let her know your worth, and always stand on how you manage your expenses. She is physically okay, let her go and work harder so that she can lavish it anyhow . I don't know why some women no get sense

She actually mentioned that its because she depends on my money and she doesn't want my money again, she has been over influenced with these fake ladies making cream online......without wanting to know the real source of their income

Aplaudez:
The truth is you guys ain't understanding yourselves, if truly she's your wife and she's the mother of your daughter, create a very sweet environment, you can even take her out and sit her down and talk things out!

I'm not happy you couldn't caution yourself, what's done is done, please try to caution yourself next time!

God bless your family!

Much gratitude for this piece of advice, I will as much as possible to and amen to the prayer.

ademidedavid:

It was just a slap at her back.....just to caution her because I am not the talking type

You’re not a serious person. You’re not the talking type... what are you then, the beating type?

Nonsense and ingredients! Coward!

ademidedavid:

Yes, she has been listening to how most of her friends have travelled out and seeing them on social media, how they send things home and the others on instagram but are we now running a race? Not that we are doing so badly here in Nigeria.

ademidedavid:

She actually mentioned that its because she depends on my money and she doesn't want my money again, she has been over influenced with these fake ladies making cream online......without wanting to know the real source of their income

How old is your wife coz I don't understand this childish mentality.

Its 2020! do people still believe everything others post or "show off" on social media?

@op, you left some points out. Is she working? If no, why? Is she handicapped? If yes, why can't she use her money to create the type of life she wants for herself? Why is she pressurizing you make more money when she can do such?




But op, you fucccked up seriously by laying your hands on her.

Change her circle of friends 1st.

Titi03:



How old is your wife coz I don't understand this childish mentality.

Its 2020! do people still believe everything others post or "show off" on social media?

Its not for you to believe, just pray it doesn't happen to you.....but when it does happen, you will always live to believe any marital issues and work towards perfecting your home

LegitGirl:


You’re not a serious person. You’re not the talking type... what are you then, the beating type?

Nonsense and ingredients! Coward!

Not that, just that we stay in a flat and I hate embarrassment in my marriage and she was already raising her voice.....

Oluneutral:
@op, you left some points out. Is she working? If no, why? Is she handicapped? If yes, why can't she use her money to create the type of life she wants for herself? Why is she pressurizing you make more money when she can do such?




But op, you fucccked up seriously by laying your hands on her.

She's into her own business......that's my only regret, I wish I never raised my hands on her.

STARGREEN:
Change her circle of friends 1st.

Do you realize she's an adult?

The truth is that if she's not willing and ready to change her circle of friends, it is beyond what the husband can do, except if he wants to violently achieve that, which is not advisable.

Change comes from within.

Sorry to say but if I were in your shoes, that slap will land on her cheeks.
I hate when people don't appreciate someone's efforts.
If she want to live flamboyantly, then she should learn to make her own money. I won't take an insult on my person from someone that isnt contributing to my development.
Don't apologize for slapping her, just lock up. You are the man of the house not the other way round.
However, if she doesn't deem it fit to apologize to you, just dey look am.
If you dare apologize, you will kuku loose the remaining small respect that she has for you cos from look of things that woman has been brainwashed by material stuff. Cheers

Oluneutral:



Do you realize she's an adult?

The truth is that if she's not willing and ready to change her circle of friends, it is beyond what the husband can do, except if he wants to violently achieve that, which is not advisable.

Change comes from within.

Nothing is impossible to a determined mind, believe

ademidedavid:

She's into her own business......that's my only regret, I wish I never raised my hands on her.

Fine, apologize to her for raising up your hands on her explaining to her that it wasn't intentional that it was out of provocation and calmly tell her that you can't do more than you're already doing presently, so you advise her to spend her money the way she deem fit, afterall, it's her money.

Mr cautioner, hope you don't continue this way, if your wife can't tell you to go out and hustle I wonder who can encourage you in this life

travelland:
Mr cautioner, hope you don't continue this way, if your wife can't tell you to go out and hustle I wonder who can encourage you in this life

what stops her from going out to hustle since money is easy to make,
didn't you read the part the guy said he is a federal government staff on a 100k+ salary plus other hustle

Oluneutral:




Fine, apologize to her for raising up your hands on her explaining to her that it wasn't intentional that it was out of provocation and calmly tell her that you can't do more than you're already doing presently, so you advise her to spend her money the way she deem fit, afterall, it's her money.

Thanks a lot, she's asleep now.....I sincerely appreciate.

travelland:
Mr cautioner, hope you don't continue this way, if your wife can't tell you to go out and hustle I wonder who can encourage you in this life

I am not the lazy type, I work hard to cater for my family, I am a federal worker and still didn't relent on that, a level 8 officer.....that was the statement that got me vexed, despite my hard work?

travelland:
Mr cautioner, hope you don't continue this way, if your wife can't tell you to go out and hustle I wonder who can encourage you in this life

And that too should include comparing her with other men o?

And what stops her from heeding to her own advice by hustling more instead of putting pressure on another human being who is just as human as her?


NLanders, you never disappoint!

ademidedavid:

Thanks a lot, she's asleep now.....I sincerely appreciate.

but my brother you must find a way to nip this in the bud o. It is just a matter of time your wife would fall into temptation.