THINGS TO GET RID OF TO REVIVE YOUR MARRIAGE

For some couples, their relationships are now dry and drab. So they have no interest in it anymore. The excitement they once had has waned and they have no feelings for each other anymore. This leads to negative emotions building up in the couple to the extent that they feel sad and pained. They do not forgive each other but look for opportunities to pay back evil for evil.

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32

Please note that If you are bitter, you cannot do better in your marriage.

Some very powerful and potent things can ruin a marriage and couples need to check them. These things need to be gotten rid of quickly before they drive their marriage to an unpleasant destination.

Let us examine them now:

(1) RELEGATION
Marriage is God's sole idea. Using human sense or philosophy as the main mechanism to run your home and rejecting God will not produce positive results. He must be involved. You can't relegate God and enjoy your home. This has been the major challenge in marriages. Some couples try to figure out things by themselves by involving their friends, fans, family, third parties, etc. but relegate God. They leave Him out of the matter which makes them face more than they ever bargained for.

It's time to run to God. Call and invite CHRIST afresh into your life and home then things will turn around positively; impossible things will become possible and a difficult spouse will change through prayers and divine intervention. Your marriage gets strengthened on the altar of prayers.

Another aspect of relegation is when you want to run your home without input from your spouse. There will be heat and unpleasant reactions from the relegated party. Work in unity with your spouse.

(2) COMPARISON
Forcing your spouse to be like someone else will not bring positive changes and deliver your desired results.

As simple as it may look, no marriage survives when all your partner does is to compare you with his/her ex, your neighbour's partner or colleague. There is no way you can drive home the good point of correction and improvement to your spouse with the spirit of criticism. As you will never be appreciative of any effort by your spouse. This strategy needs to change by accepting the uniqueness of your spouse and supporting him or her to overcome areas of excesses and weaknesses. Remember, you are not perfect too. Be patient with each other, act in love, sincerity and with kindness. Then things will surely turn around.

(3) RETALIATION
The energy and thoughts deployed on negative thinking towards your spouse can be utilized better on positive things to do. Express your displeasure and communicate effectively for your spouse to know their mistakes, apologize and move on together with another achievable level of maturity. Dwelling on hurts frequently and for too long will bring the worse person and weapon out of you unnoticed. Please, forgive and get healed to nurture your marriage.

(4) ADDICTIONS
Getting addicted to anti-marriage behaviours have a destructive tendency on you, your spouse and family. Bad addictions such as chatting with opposite sex secretly, excessive screen time, lying, being crafty, aggressive anger and other areas of concern to your spouse. These activities take a person's time and attention away from building his/her home. It is high time you address these issues. Don't live in denial; it's happening. Consciously work on yourself to be a better person for your spouse and family.

(5)IRRITATIONS
Getting irritated at every move of your spouse is an indication that the intimacy, bonding and union is sick. This may be an attack on your marriage that needs urgent intercession and could also be caused by some unresolved issues you have dodged and swept under the carpet for too long. This will cause a heap on your mind and get you irritated by whatever your spouse does. You need to pull it down before it pulls down your relationship. Get back to effective communication; get your spark back and get connected again in love. Your spouse is not as bad as the devil, negative thought or third party has painted him/her to become so. Don't give license to anyone or thought to help you disrupt the peace you enjoy in your home.

(6) DEVIATION
Have you gradually deviated from the right path and knowledge you know by your refusal to learn more, relearn and unlearn bad ones? Do you boast about the wrong things others do in their marriages as if it is right? If you do these, you have deviated from your first love. Please, get back on the right track and work out the success of your marriage.

(7)DECEPTION
Unfaithfulness in any contest is not a tool to grow your marriage. This entails being unfaithful to God, your spouse and family with your movement, dealings, conversations on the phone and your body. Are you being unfaithful because you think you are old enough not to be accountable to anyone? Hmm, you are getting it wrong. Your body belongs to your spouse; that's part of your marriage vow. You need to be open and transparent to your spouse. You need each other now, always and even much more at old age. Those friends, fans, colleagues that are teaching you how to maltreat your spouse will not be there at old age. Those encouraging you to abandon your family will not be there for you.

Get biblical sense and wisdom to run your family. Don't ruin it with your carelessness; be wise.

Its time to revive your marriage, uproot irritations, deception and distractions. Fight for your marriage, get your home back and make your union better and stronger.

©Yomi Adewale

Some marriage problems started from courtship. Many people casualize dating, and ruined a happy future. Dating is no trivial issue -- it's a stepping stone to marriage. With a right view based on bible principles, no marriage can be put apart.