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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met (74988 Views)
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Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Obrigardo: 12:51pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Ishilove: how can you be this insensitive? 3 Likes |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by johnykgoal: 12:51pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
@Godlovesyou28 This matter has been planned from the beginning which is why no one is confident of telling you without implication. You need plenty info to go on this search secretly and right now, they are aware of your quest. My advise is to calm down and use common sense. Do not allow your emotion control your sense. Use sense correctly. Pretend not to be interested in the matter anymore. Try to be more caring and friendly to your step mum and dad and siblings. Sacrificially buy them gifts and be cheerful. Try visiting and never bring up the topic any more till you have secretly gathered enough information to proceed. |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by profstar(m): 12:51pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28:I found so much interest in your story that I read everything up to this page, so my conclusion, I will be raw as possible. Now let's solve this logically, what are the possible scenarios here and possible steps 1. Your father and his brother had an entanglement with the same woman, and that is why brideprice was returned (meaning, your real mother cheated, either on your father with his brother, or on your father's brother with your father) You can't even conclude that your so called father is your father because you look like him, he might as well be your original father's brother (from the look of the entanglement and the introduction of your cousin into the picture). 2. You should be curious about the dead mother of your said cousin, there is 50% chances that she is your real mother. Trace her source, visit her family and be generous to them without letting them know your mission or quest. Seat with them and get to know them well, like you just naturally attracted to them. Someone will spill something or a clue will show. Or you atleast cross out that possibility at the end. 3. Loose hope on making your said cousin your investigating partner You said you have been "blackmailed" to him by your step-mom, believe me, people hardly recover from blackmail, He can't have your back, more so, he is religiously occupied Also, you need to avoid making sensitive enquire through phone, nobody will want to open up. 4. You need to visit the village. Like someone suggested, make friends there, let them do the dirty investigation but don't show desperation, if not, they will milk you dry and keep the information from you so they can continue milking you. 5. Confront your step mother, but make sure you keep emotions away. You seems to be avoiding this option. I know you "despise" her even though you seems to have forgiven her. 6. Finally, I think you should reevaluate your decision on marriage. We all love to feel loved, once we can't get love, we tends to be emotional on other things. You have mentioned so many psychological symptoms, which are attributable to lack of love feelings. More so, it is better when you have someone to fight along side with you. I pray your curiosity finds answers soon. Peace. 17 Likes |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by LoveJesus87(m): 12:52pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28:I thought you said you are fully independent now |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by lanrefront1(m): 12:52pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
THIS STORY IS FAKE. THE GIRL, OR LADY OR WHATEVER IS ONLY CATCHING FUN. Let her tell how how she is. Let's start from there. |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by onome2013: 12:54pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
It is a very easy thing to overcome. First put yourself in fasting (depends on how many days you can ) and talk to God to arrest your father's heart and reveal the true story about your mum's whereabout. Your faith matters a lot on this your fasting ,and you will see that few days after this prayers ,your father will call you privately without your step mum's consent . While you are praying for you father to reveal it ,add your relation who gave you the information about the fact that your step mum is not your mother. You will have reason to thank God. PLEASE DO NOT SUE YOUR DAD ,AS IT WILL SURELY WORSEN THE SITUATION. 1 Like |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Sarah20A(f): 12:54pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28:go back to that person and cry to him or her even roll on the floor ,beg him or her like your life depends on it,make a promise to that person that you will never tell your dad the source of your information. |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Nephilim: 12:54pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28:of course you can. Don't you have someone close to you that can help you with your quest, like your husband/fiancee, close friend/bestie, or a confidant! Don't put too much on your self! You need someone to share this burden with and drive through. |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Analysiscorner: 12:56pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28:Please, calm down. The answer you are looking for is not far away. The village holds the key. If you die, what have you achieved? Help yourself and resume all your social life like church |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by timota(m): 12:58pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28:It could be that ur father impregnated a house help and after she might have given birth to u they(ur father and step mum) killed her or sent her away, if u are independent of them then start sanctioning him,don't call him daddy again,only answer him sir,if he questions u tell him u can don't have both father and mother,if he fails to tell u the truth then cut every relationship with him for 3 years and see his reaction |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by vhuqnl(m): 1:00pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Wapchrist1:go and burn your certificates 1 Like |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by chatinent: 1:00pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28:May I join you in the quest for your mum? I'd like to be your friend. |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by cunny88(m): 1:02pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28:you are wrong on this, if a man hasn't helped you, men av helped several women. women are weaker vessel's as evidenced in ur search for ur mom |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by romenna: 1:03pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Ypur dad is not bn nice to u. I advice u teach him a lesson. A bitter one |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by LadyDoubleJ(f): 1:04pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
I really feel your pain and understand what you're going through, your best shot is a good lawyer. A feminist lawyer oo! Reach payment agreement with them, Pay half of the money first then when she succeed you pay the balance. You're Dad might withhold the truth from you but not from them. Since her money is hanging she may use any means to extract the truth from your father even if it means telling the Court that he murdered your mother. In a bid to safe himself he will spill the truth and more. Sue him right away. |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by vhuqnl(m): 1:06pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
so there are private investigators in Nigeria? never knew |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Nobody: 1:09pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28:why is your dad's pastor not an option. Has he tried to sex with you or there's something else we need to know abt him? |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Testimony1988(m): 1:10pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Maybe he didn't marry your mum legally that's why he does not want to introduce you to your mum, mind you all those activities she was forcing you to do then was to make you a better person but to her, she will think she was making you to suffer. |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Therapyken(m): 1:12pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
vikkimimi:The elders may be aware of the matter, as well as the rest of the family, and they have been content with the way things have been until now. Obviously there is a big, perhaps mischievious story she must not know about. Her father's religion may not matter as it did not better the man's conscience or sense of justice through all these years and ever may not. I think legal action against her father is the way to go. Atimes, biological family is overrated which gives room for the most inhumane and terrible things to happen. |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by YUSTECH3(m): 1:12pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Move on with your life with positive minds and vibes the truth will later prevail las Las .. don't rush into making conclusion on everything 1 Like |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by vhuqnl(m): 1:13pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28:you are going through depression. again, you might be under a spell |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Therri: 1:13pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28: There must be a family member that's not after or don't get along with your father. That's the one you should ask for details regarding your mother. If you are already living on your own den keep it that way. Stay away for a while |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Easyboy18: 1:14pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
adebayour26: |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Easyboy18: 1:14pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28: this says it all he's been controlled by ur step mum.I hv two options for u 1. his weak point is when he's out of ur step mum's presence so capital on that. target a time or day both of u will be alone nd talk to him like daughter nd daddy an sure if u say d right words he might not tell u totally but he will give u clue that will really help u 2. sue him. am not gud at law but sue both of them for something something sha the truth will definitely cum out nd after d truth u will know if there will be family settlement or not |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by rachels: 1:15pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
No Victornezzar:go to berekete family, a radio station in fct, they will help you out, i promise you. |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Quuenmina: 1:17pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Reduce ur emotion over the issue. And focus ur mind only on logic and strategy to get the truth u seek. U have been told, u and ur cousin have the same mother. And u know, ur cousin is your fathers elder brother son. If all this are correct, u already have ur answers. Your quest is already almost solved. If that story is correct, ur fathers elder brother died before his wife. Your father was now taking care of her and her son( ur so called cousin who is ur brother). By tradition, ur mum is ur father's wife after ur uncle (ur fathers brother) died. Your father got her pregnant and she gave birth to u. Your father did not commit any abomination by tradition for getting ur mum pregnant. It is his right and privilege by Tradition. The reason ur ralative told u, ur dad payed ur mum bride price. because by Tradition, ur mum is ur dad legal wife. After u were born three things are possible. Option 1. Your mum died at Child birth when she was giving birth to u. Or she died few years after u were born. Ur dad did not see any need to start telling u that u have a different mother. For sure, ur step mum was never in support of ur dad marrying ur mum even though tradition gave him that right. because ur dad have d right to refuse marrying ur mum, tradition aslo have a way of freeing the woman and the man, if her husband brother don't want to marry her. Option 2: Your mum just hated your paternal family and left. That means she hate ur grand father, ur father and ur fathers family. She abandoned u and ur brother (cousin). If this is the case, the person most hurt is not even u, but ur brother (the seminarian). Now, simply ask your cousin(ur brother), if he has the picture of his late parents. They have no reason to hide the picture of his late parents from him. If he has the picture of his dad and mum, then u will see ur mother. Also, u can ask ur cousin(brother), where is his mum from. If he knows any of his mum relatives. If he knows anyone, he can link u to them. But don't tell him, he is ur brother when asking this question. But if he refuse to answer u, u can then tell him all u know. No matter how he perceived u, he will be interested too in knowing. He is a human being. He will naturally be curious. In my opinion, u have 80% of what u need to get all ur answers if the story that u and ur cousin have the same mother is true. [/quote] This is all you need to know, your cousin is your brother because you have thesame mom If she is late that explained why the bride price was returned to enable him marry your step mom as his only legitimate wife You and your Cousin/brother have thesame mom but different dad. You need to find his mom if she is still alive. She has all the answers you need because she is your biological mom. 3 Likes |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Sensiblerealist: 1:20pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Her wickedness Noor be here, only that you are taking how she treated you on the chin. There's a greeter conspiracy behind these events. The fact that no one can open his/her mouth to divulge whatever went down. Maybe they all swore to a very powerful oath. Keep seeking your closure and I pray you make a headway. Stay strong Godlovesyou28: |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Nobody: 1:20pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
5he idiot that told you shit should tell u who ur mom is na. akporoko wahala people everywhere 1 Like |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Quuenmina: 1:20pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Reduce ur emotion over the issue. And focus ur mind only on logic and strategy to get the truth u seek. U have been told, u and ur cousin have the same mother. And u know, ur cousin is your fathers elder brother son. If all this are correct, u already have ur answers. Your quest is already almost solved. If that story is correct, ur fathers elder brother died before his wife. Your father was now taking care of her and her son( ur so called cousin who is ur brother). By tradition, ur mum is ur father's wife after ur uncle (ur fathers brother) died. Your father got her pregnant and she gave birth to u. Your father did not commit any abomination by tradition for getting ur mum pregnant. It is his right and privilege by Tradition. The reason ur ralative told u, ur dad payed ur mum bride price. because by Tradition, ur mum is ur dad legal wife. After u were born three things are possible. Option 1. Your mum died at Child birth when she was giving birth to u. Or she died few years after u were born. Ur dad did not see any need to start telling u that u have a different mother. For sure, ur step mum was never in support of ur dad marrying ur mum even though tradition gave him that right. because ur dad have d right to refuse marrying ur mum, tradition aslo have a way of freeing the woman and the man, if her husband brother don't want to marry her. Option 2: Your mum just hated your paternal family and left. That means she hate ur grand father, ur father and ur fathers family. She abandoned u and ur brother (cousin). If this is the case, the person most hurt is not even u, but ur brother (the seminarian). Now, simply ask your cousin(ur brother), if he has the picture of his late parents. They have no reason to hide the picture of his late parents from him. If he has the picture of his dad and mum, then u will see ur mother. Also, u can ask ur cousin(brother), where is his mum from. If he knows any of his mum relatives. If he knows anyone, he can link u to them. But don't tell him, he is ur brother when asking this question. But if he refuse to answer u, u can then tell him all u know. No matter how he perceived u, he will be interested too in knowing. He is a human being. He will naturally be curious. In my opinion, u have 80% of what u need to get all ur answers if the story that u and ur cousin have the same mother is true. 1 Like |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Forumobserver12(m): 1:25pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28: This is not a phone issue, try and visit any of your uncle's and have a one on one chat with Them, try and go with a friend or someone very close to you. Reassure them that you will keep whatever they tell you away from Dad.. |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by linearity: 1:26pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Don’t sue anyone....go the social media route instead. Put up a Facebook page with a title akin to you looking for your mom. Put as much as you can remember about you growing up, with pictures of your, your father, siblings, town, etc. Keep updating with new info as you remember them and start connecting with people, I bet you will find your mother or reasonable answers within a year. But be prepare to embrace whatever come out from you knowing your mum, since your dad is hiding this from you, it might not be all that rosy....you might also need counseling, because it might be difficult emotionally. |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Nobody: 1:27pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
I can sense it that that your step mom in connivance with your dad,killed your mom...my friend pressure your father to talk,he is not a god but a human being,unless you are not ready... |
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