Kyom20:
[s][s]I can totally relate to this. Nigerian parents often make the mistake of trying to force or suppress their kids to be a certain way so as to avoid them making "mistakes". What they fail to realise is making mistakes and learning is part of life.

This then leads to rebellion because often times these children want to have these experiences for themselves. Its just human nature. What i feel is important for children in this situation to understand is that everything should be done in moderation because at the end of the day its still your life, and you would suffer most the consequences of your actions.

@ op, you are normal and i hope you learn from your parents mistakes when training your own kids.

I Hope this article sheds more light
https://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20120223/overly-strict-controlling-parents-risk-raising-delinquent-kids

Modified
I really feel the need to add that people on this forum are very judgemental without even understanding where the poster is coming from.
Did any one read her story at all? Her dad was very strict which led to her having to pretend when at home while being a totally different person when out of the house. Can we really say that is a good thing? Or have we never seen this happen in our society? Do we not see that this parenting skill breeds hypocrisy?

Some are even going as far as judging her. That makes no sense, so many people are mistaking strict parents for disciplinarians. The one thing we need to understand is that strictness often results in rebellion which often shows up on in our society as hypocrisy.

The reason why so many Nigerians are quick to judge but what they do in the secret is most disgusting.[/s][/s]

VickyRotex:


ahn ahn, wetin do sister domi.nique

enemyofprogress:
[s]Na dominique be the koko that one na chop and clean mouth[/s]

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

Ogaonos:
u try to read someone quoting u before u start attacking.u even read my reply at all.u jux like d ones judging DT lady.i attack u nt her.because u nt a parent.parenting is a very sensitive area.nd I went to explain DT one have to b half strict Nd half mentor.because these days children are influence by trap rap music who promote sex,drugs,violence which is what op was expose to.most guys in campus are expose to yahoo Nd drugs by toxic music of nwadays.shagging of yahoo boiz is a norm with campus girls.then I went to explain DT half strict half mentor is d way forward.so my stand is try to educate would-be parents on d wise ways to parent in our immoral world we live in.which most of u don't do u jux take sides Nd don't educate DT why nairaland is becoming too shitty

Ishaquine:
Just so you know every kid is different, what worked for you might not work for another

kikelomojessy:



Yeah, I also understand that too. But what I'm trying to say is normal instinct tells us when we are doing or want to do bad stuffs. Why wud she go to school and be all the other things then come back home and be good?

Ishaquine:
At first you feel let me just have a taste of this but before you know it you find yourself deep in it. You know being a teenager, sometimes you just want to try somethings you've never done before then with the help of some stupid friends you're done for.

Kyom20:

Ur concerns are addressed in this article
https://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20120223/overly-strict-controlling-parents-risk-raising-delinquent-kids

kazyhm:


You spoke my mind.........I can say its the mom that is even responsible for all that.......her actions portrayed her dad as been outright wicked......training a child with divided approaches is more dangerous.

Mutaultope:




I just disciplined my son by canning him for what I have warned him severally to stop doing...... the only thing my wife could do was to get angry with me for disciplining him that way ..... that was the end of our night and she went to bed

kikelomojessy:


Now I get you.
But the fear we had growing up with my dad is different cos before u do anything stupid u must make sure it won't get to him. That's just fear cos we don't want his wahala despite my mum be all 100 over loving, my dad still made us know that there are some things u can't do in my house. I won't lie about this, my mum is so loving and o we caring, but if my mum happens to be a single mother, most of us would have been very wayward, I'm telling you this. God help us

Chicastle:
Whenever it rains that's when you will see no electricity supply anywhere in Nigeria.

Just dey watch now rain has come. They have full evidence of no electricity

Anu

crackland:

All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad.

If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with.

Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you?

Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices.

MrBrownJay1:


yeah, my point is that there are strict parents and STRICT PARENTS
some parents out there will just lock their kids up and say "dont go out", "dont talk to stranger" "dont do this or that" without making that child understand why they shouldnt do it. so these children dont do these acts simply because they were FORCED away from these act (which imho is wrong).... while other parents will instill the proper values into their kids AND simply make these children understand why it is wrong to do a certain act, so that in return that child wont do these act, NOT because daddy is forcing them away from these acts, but because they understand that it is wrong.

there will come a time when you have to trust your child and what you have instilled in them... because everyone knows that sooner or later, they will have to face the world on their own.

Pat081:
do u knw them wen they are young?? Knw ur sef nt others ,one happen to one big Pastor that i will nt mention d name of d church here

Ishaquine:
It seems you don't know some parents, they don't show compassion. They always dictate, from what you like and don't like, what you wear, what you eat without giving you a chance at all. They don't care how you're feeling when they are doing this. They think they are helping you but sometimes that doesn't help. Every kid is different, what works for one might make the other go rogue

Mutaultope:




I just disciplined my son by canning him for what I have warned him severally to stop doing...... the only thing my wife could do was to get angry with me for disciplining him that way ..... that was the end of our night and she went to bed

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..