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Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Nobody: 5:38pm On May 31, 2020
God bless you for this balanced post.
It think it is a little misleading that things are better abroad. One, there are different kinds of abroad. Two, individual experiences in the abroad are different. We have those who are schooling abroad sponsored by family and having to do menial jobs to make ends meet. Then we have those who are working but literally scrubbing the streets and doing jobs that those in Nigeria would never want to do. We have those who have gone through different faces of hussling and have been established... We also have those (many actually) who are illegally in foreign countries and so cannot get decent minimum wage-paying jobs and who are living worse than when they were in Nigeria. The problem is, once people in Nigeria hear that you are abroad, they assume you have money literally rolling into your bags without any effort. So they start making demands. I have been there years ago when I was schooling/working abroad and I experienced all manner of ridiculous requests from acquaintances in Nigeria. But fortunately I had investment plans that were gulping almost the last cent I was making then, so it was impossible for me to dance to the fancies of those people. Some would ask me to send them laptops, HTC Wildfire (had just been released then), even to ridiculous things like arranging their relocation abroad... My church's pastor then asked me for N1million naira donation even though I was just a student supporting my monthly stipend with menial jobs like cleaning offices and all. Interestingly, that my pastor then happened to be a multi-millionaire in Nigeria, even at that time.


bukatyne:


Way better is relative.

The growing trend is that a number of people around me send their families abroad and sponsor them from Nigeria.

Also 'helping' people as you have put it has ruinned a lot of other people.

People should learn how to cut their cloth according to their material and reach out to others when there is an emergency.

11 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ibkayee(f): 5:38pm On May 31, 2020
foleskay:

Yeah. If its btw Nigerians now, people would surely appreciate. Even if its 2k, since we live in the same country. But people won't appreciate someone living in the US or UK sending amount of money like 5k to them back home. Some would even think he's struggling back there grin
Don't you think this is an entitled attitude to have? You weren't there with him/her when they were working for the money

11 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by FGonline: 5:38pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.
u said it all
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Millenniumlady(f): 5:40pm On May 31, 2020
frankson1:





No 'hanty', I don't want you because your signature scare me grin.

Find out from @Pig Tormentor or Evil Forest cheesy
Please don't mind the signature biko i put that to scare this Nigerian home base toasters away you can slide into my dm if you don't mind
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Dex4(m): 5:40pm On May 31, 2020
I can relate with this one right here. Bottom line is; LOVE YOURSELF more.

4 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by salford1: 5:41pm On May 31, 2020
Klass99:



My own cousin returned from Australia, after his Masters. He said the system over there won't allow you live a very comfortable life. Everything is billed and taxed to a point where, you can hardly afford nice but expensive things for yourself.

He said most of the people he befriended had never been on a plane or travelled outside their states of residence, because by the time they are done paying bills, there's very little left for travel. Travelling for them, would mean a financial plan of 6 or 8 months ahead for that trip.
I see nothing wrong with taxes. Cut your costs to your size too. It's just that Nigerians are used to making sudden wealth. The system in developed countries levels people and tries to ensure no one is left behind by providing safety nets. Hence the graduated tax system.

In addition, the bolded part can't be true. You will leave a super comfortable life. That's the whole point of traveling abroad, and not to jam money except you have some special rate talent.

11 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by foleskay(m): 5:43pm On May 31, 2020
ibkayee:

Don't you think this is an entitled attitude to have? You weren't there with him/her when they were working for the money
Anything that's worth doing atal is worth doing well. Not a matter of entitlement. If he decides not to send money atal, nobody would force him. But if he must do, let him do something worthy of appreciation
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by onegig(m): 5:43pm On May 31, 2020
You can't shy away from helping. I just have a mental monthly limit that's budgeted for giving out. Once that is exceeded you would need to wait till the next month. And i don't shy away when i need to state the fact that I don't have or can't afford.

I guess people should be able to say no if they can't really afford to help. Your family or friends should be able to understand when you can and cannot help out.

I guess I am also helped by the fact that i don't really keep liquid cash. I doubt any money/salary lasts up to 24hours in my account before it is used for a running biz. Shey na wetin dey account i go transfer?

6 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ibkayee(f): 5:44pm On May 31, 2020
foleskay:

Anything that's worth doing atal is worth doing well. Not a matter of entitlement. If he decides not to send money atal, nobody would force him. But if he must do, let him do something worthy of appreciation
Tell these people who think it's too small to stop asking then wink

10 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by foleskay(m): 5:44pm On May 31, 2020
Millenniumlady:
Please don't mind the signature biko i put that to scare this Nigerian home base toasters away you can slide into my dm if you don't mind
Long throat
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Hathor5(f): 5:44pm On May 31, 2020
ibkayee:

Don't you think this is an entitled attitude to have? You weren't there with him/her when they were working for the money

This comment pissed me off and I usually do not have any emotional reactions to comments on NL. If I ever hear such a comment from anyone I know, they will never again get anything from me, not even on their birthday or for Christmas. And should they ever need help, I will remind them of the comment. angry

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by cococandy(f): 5:44pm On May 31, 2020
Whether they earn 100k or not, they don’t pay 60% taxes. That’s the point.
Focusingmore:
..

100k tax calculation us and Europe.

Check it out, you'll see its not much , now tell me how many people earn 100k?

Minus the figures by rent and bills and tell me how you can become rich even with this high salary and still afford sending money to random grifters

7 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by omonnakoda: 5:45pm On May 31, 2020
Ebere044:
No wonder my friend who promised to help me in this lockdown recently stopped replying my text.

OP you may be right but a stingy being will always look for an excuse not to assist his friends or even family. It doesn't matter where you are. If you're stingy, it means you're stingy.

If you don't want to help ,you tell them so .its not by force. Instead of promising and giving them Hopes. I've a friend who I gave almost everything I had when he was here in Nigeria hustling. His other friends and family abandoned him. I took him in until to God be the glory for him. He made it out of Nigeria and boom turned back at me. My brother a stingy being is a stingy person. I know alot of people would ask unnecessarily but its left for you to know who could ask when in dire need.
When you grow up marry and have children you have to be "stingy" Nigerians throw that word around with a strong sense of entitlement.

Get your own and stop calling people stingy.

I would rather give money to beggars or random people than any of these entitled Nigerians. Main problems

They feel it is their right
They are not grateful
It is never enough

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Hathor5(f): 5:45pm On May 31, 2020
ibkayee:

Tell these people who think it's too small to stop asking then wink

Good answer. kiss
Or get a job. angry

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by foleskay(m): 5:45pm On May 31, 2020
ibkayee:

Tell these people who think it's too small to stop asking then wink
Lol cheesy
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ibkayee(f): 5:46pm On May 31, 2020
Hathor5:


This comment pissed me off and I usually do not have any emotional reactions to comments on NL. If I ever hear such a comment from anyone I know, they will never again get anything from me, not even on their birthday or for Christmas. And should they ever need help, I will remind them of the comment. angry
The level of entitlement is beyond me

He even said that people abroad should give more because 'what's worth doing at all is worth doing well' lmao I think this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen cheesy

12 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ibkayee(f): 5:47pm On May 31, 2020
Hathor5:


Good answer. kiss
Or get a job. angry
kiss
As innnn

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 5:47pm On May 31, 2020
foleskay:

So if he hadn't died, you would hv shared your brother to that leech. She would surely kill him and take him money away
You should know she was only kidding.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by salford1: 5:48pm On May 31, 2020
Sleyanya1:

However, giving is something we should all make plans to do. You could set aside a budget for your folks back in Nigeria (that's if you can afford) and when you exhaust that you reschedule granting any other financial requests to the next month's budget.
This is what I do. I have an amount I set aside for family back home.
Except, the occasional laptop or money for laptop request that I get and I politely declined with reasons.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Hathor5(f): 5:48pm On May 31, 2020
ibkayee:

The level of entitlement is beyond me

He even said that people abroad should give more because 'what's worth doing at all is worth doing well' lmao I think this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen cheesy

People like him are the reason this good man made the video posted here. wink

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by kunkcraze(m): 5:49pm On May 31, 2020
5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.
[/quote]


I can relate to this, it's like the OP is talking about me, last year I had to wait for the sales at H&M to buy a shirt at $35 but sent home like $300. But most people home failed to realize you have a life of your own some wont even talk to you after you give then reason for not been able to send money to them after the previous ones. It's all good. I always tell them God will help us all,when I notice they wont listen to me.

8 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by omonnakoda: 5:50pm On May 31, 2020
Focusingmore:
..

100k tax calculation us and Europe.

Check it out, you'll see its not much , now tell me how many people earn 100k?

Minus the figures by rent and bills and tell me how you can become rich even with this high salary and still afford sending money to random grifters
You can save 20k of that in a 401 K pension and pay ZERO tax on that.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Nobody: 5:50pm On May 31, 2020
Permission granted. Please tell him. grin grin grin

Houseofglam7:
The poster above me.......should we tell him?

3 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 5:51pm On May 31, 2020
Millenniumlady:
Find someone else maybe those emeka US or NEDU canada biko help me to connect with one of them i don't want to marry the guys here there not my type help a sister please embarassed
Hhhaaaahhaahhaaa. You are funny. There are good obodo oyibo guys here though. If Coco can meet one, I'm sure you can. Just change ur moniker smiley
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Angelfrost(m): 5:51pm On May 31, 2020
bukatyne:


What kind of demonic entitlement is this?

Is it the money you kept with them you are asking for?


Dear sis, you have no idea how entitled the average Nigerian feels... Some go beyond begging to demanding, like it's their right.

This is why even the high earners still struggle to reach their full financial potentials. How can they when able bodied individuals feel they are entitled to a chunk of the monthly take home, and need not bother to hustle hard.

6 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Millenniumlady(f): 5:51pm On May 31, 2020
foleskay:

Long throat
I never done this before you're the only guy i want to give this easy access don't loose this opportunity biko
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SEGLIZ: 5:51pm On May 31, 2020
Amanee:




Nobody asked you all these, always resist the urge to shalaye

truth is bitter.
won kii pa owun mo agogo lénu.

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by xrayj(m): 5:52pm On May 31, 2020
ODJ123:
Nice one OP...
For legends
Where do u get all those old pics from?
Those days when life was easy smiley

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Angelacruz: 5:53pm On May 31, 2020
Informative
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by foleskay(m): 5:53pm On May 31, 2020
SweetCunt97:
You should know she was only kidding.
She's not. Damn serious. She's bn quoting guys even telling them to dm her.

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