I've been looking to get a federal agency job in Abuja for a while now and haven't yet had any reasonable connection.

My sister inlaw ( husband's sister) a lady in her mid 40s who's divorced and a hustler type still trying to find her feet called me up one day and told me a friend of hers had a connection for Civil Defence and i should email my CV right away to her. I have never discussed jobs with her before so the call took me by surprise. I wasnt particular keen on Civil Defence and as a lawyer i had my sights much higher on parastatal or agency jobs. She might have sensed my reluctance on the phone and she went on to say

"I'm just doing you a favour ooo, many people are hoping for opportunities as this"

She had this tone of urgency.

I didnt especially like how she was hurrying me as i never approach anything with desperation and as such, have never been scammed. I told her I'll get back to her. Two hours later, she was messaging me on whatsapp that she hadn't seen my CV on her mailbox. I replied her saying

"Aunty i haven't sent it ooo, is the job slot free because me i don't have money ooo"

This was a very dicey situation for me because this woman is over 10 years my senior and i wanted to be as diplomatic as possible without causing family wahala.

She read my response but didnt reply.

Very early the next morning she called me and when i picked up, she said that the job wasnt free but the price wasnt too much, just N350k. That i shouldn't worry that she'll call my hubby (her brother) and ask him for the money. When i saw she was still pushing, i opened up to her that even if i wanted to pay for a job slot, it definitely wasnt going to be a Civil Defence job as i had my sights set on agencies and parastatals. I knew she was upset by how her voice changed. "Agencies? What's that?" I told her like NNPC, DPR, NCC and the likes
"NNPC? ehnnn.. Okay" She cut the call and i heaved a sigh that it was over. It wasn't.

Two days later, this woman called me again to tell me she has an NNPC job for me.

(you've gat to be kidding me!)

She said that her friend knows the director and he asked for one million but after begging him, he agreed to take 500k she started with her hurrying tactics that i had only 24hrs and if payment wasn't made before then that the offer will be withdrawn. At that time, NNPC were done with their recruitment process and i didnt even apply and knowing how stringent NNPC recruitment was, i knew that offer was impossible. She went on that if I didn't have the cash that she'd call her brother (hubby) to make the transfer immediately. I knew right then without a doubt that this woman wanted to use me to obtain her brother by all means. She can try to scam him directly and if he falls mugu, good for her but why try to use me in the scam? I went further with questioning her on the supposed NNPC job. "Please Aunty the director that is helping, where is he?
" Abuja nau" she replied getting irritated with my questioning.

She was in Lagos and i was in Abuja at the time
so i asked her if i could meet the supposed director one on one and pay him directly and even promised to reward her and her friend handsomely if the deal pulls through.

"No" she said abruptly "you pay the money to my account and ill give it to my friend to make the payment. All you have to do is just hope and pray"

Pray... That word. I knew then without a doubt that this Aunty was trying to scam me.

I told her "Aunty please dont be angry, i know you mean well for my future and want me to get a good job in NNPC but right now I've already paid part payment for another job somewhere and i wouldn't want to invest in two places at once" That wasnt true, i just had to get her off my tail once and for all. She was shocked. She angrily cut the call. She wanted to finesse her brother out of some cash using my future, what happens when the real slot comes around. Would i expect him to pay twice?

Her mum (mil) called me and started blasting me. Saying I'm feeling too big to be helped and her daughter was only trying to help me and now she never wanted to have anything to do with me again. That i should call her daughter and take the offer so that peace would reign. I didnt. Even my hubby blamed me and i couldn't even open my mouth to tell anyone i thought the whole setup was a scam. That's such a big accusation to make. The family dislike for me grew worse because of that incident.

Please did i do wrong?



Modified: For those asking me to talk to hubby, ofcourse i did but he genuinely believes his sister was trying to help and since i couldnt point out outright that the whole thing smelt of scam, hr thinks i rejected the offer because of pride. But i know better. It didnt cause serious issue between us though.

But what kind of relationship do you and your husband have that you can not tell him how you feel?

When you sensed scam. You should have at least informed your husband without telling him what you suspected. It's going to be your husband that would pay, I believe? If so, you just tell your husband to ask questions to make sure she's (your sis in law) not being given fake information since she's also a third party. If it results in scam, the issue will die within the family and you won't be boxed into a corner. You shot yourself by being too smart.

No be naija again... My sister tread carefully

You didn’t do anything wrong. If you had fallen for it, your husband and his family would’ve still blamed you. Just ignore them.

My family has been scammed by various family members. The interesting this is my parents are still cordial with all the scammers. They still call and visit each other like nothing happened. This is the kind of behavior that emboldens these scammers. They know their family member will forgive them. SMH

I didn't even have to read all of it to detect the scam attempt.

This is a typical by-the-playbook technique when it comes to agency/federal ministry recruitments - they create a sense of urgency and existing connection to one director or HR exec.
And guess what? If you tell your SIL you're interested next week, the slot will still be open.

Chevron Warri, has had lots of people who fell into this same scam.

Just explain to your husband and tell him about your reservations but avoid telling him it's his sister you suspect. Put your suspicions on the contact she claims to have and make her (your SIL) out to be innocent, at least to avoid family issues.

If he still insists you should give it a try, then he should give her the money from his pocket.

Modified: What's it with nairaland guys and they always trying desperately to fault women in any post concerning them. How can i in good conscience tell my husband that his sister is trying to scam us? Do you know the blowout that could happen from it? The bad blood that may be forever caused by such accusstion? Yeah my sil was trying to pull a con, but she's not the devil. Even now, I respect her and still relate well with her especially as she didnt succeed.

For my husband, i told him that his sister could mean well and i just wasn't sure of her source and when a source I'm sure about comes around, only then will we pay, but if he still believes the job is legit, he can go ahead and pay. Of course he didn't pay and the whole thing ended there.

The way i did it was the best because even now, everything has died down. Pkatakpata they'd only say i was too proud to take the job offer. That isnt a sin.

elektra:
You didn’t do anything wrong. When they realize it is a scam your husband and his family will still blame you. Just ignore them.

My family has been scammed by various family members. The interesting this is my parents are still cordial with all the scammers. They still call and visit each other like nothing happened. This is the kind of behavior that emboldens these scammers. They know their family member will forgive them. SMH

Exactly!

You should have informed your husband and expressed your concerns earlier especially when you started suspecting the whole thing was a scam. He would have been in a better position to speak on your behalf to his family member. What you can do now is have a heart to heart discussion with him and get him to clean up the mess even though you've actually done nothing wrong.

Tadeknkeepcalm:
But what kind of relationship do you and your husband have that you can not tell him how you feel?

So she should tell her husband that his sister wants to scam him by using her right? Did you read the end part of her write up at all?

Amya:


Family issues like this is really dicey. How csn i tell him his sister is trying to scam us? I did the best i could do in such situation by shutting the whole thing down. I heard she actually collected some money from my co wife for same job and when it amounted to nothing, she blamed the recruitment process. Las las, she's family, you can't beat her or arrest her

You will present the story in such a way that he'll come to that conclusion himself. You even have a confirmatory story to help you

Trust nobody! In-laws and their wahala Just ignore them, silence is the best answer for a fool. The mother brought up a fool like herself. I really pity that old woman creating chaos among her children

Biglittlelois:




So she should tell her husband that his sister wants to scam him by using her right? Did you read the end part of her right up at all?

I did.

*Write up

meetme01:
When you sensed scam. You should have at least told your husband without telling him what you suspected. It's going to be your husband that would pay, I believe? If so, you just tell your husband to ask questions to make sure she's (your sis in law) not being given fake information since she's also a third party. If it results in scam, the issue will die within the family and you won't be boxed into a corner. You shot yourself by being too smart.

The Aunty called her, why didn't she call her brother directly since the money will come from him? Why did she call the wife continuously, even telling her she'll call her husband but never did? Why?

She did and said the right thing any rational thinking human would do and say, her smartness is accurate and top notch.

Biglittlelois:
So she should tell her husband that his sister wants to scam him by using her right? Did you read the end part of her right up at all?

She could have simply told him about the calls.

Biglittlelois:



The Aunty called her, why didn't she call her brother directly since the money will come from him? Why did she call the wife continuously, even telling her she'll call her husband but never did? Why?

She did and said the right thing any rational thinking human would do and say, her smartness is accurate and top notch.

Thanks

Kobojunkie:
She could have simply told him about the calls.

Aunty already told the mum and hubby, hence their reaction, what makes you think her telling them her version will make any difference?

It may have escaped your notice, but the scheme you described is illegal, immoral and abhorrent. What is the money to be used for? Bribe the Director? Curry favor from a government agency or directorate? It is unfortunate that this type of behavior is generally accepted in Nigerian society today. In case you're wondering what you should have done, you should have stated clearly that this is an illegal act and you will not be involved in such a despicable scheme. If you have 350 - 500k laying around, why not start a business or invest in something? If bribery is what it takes to get a govt agency job, you should abstain, maintain your honor and prevent any blemish to your conscience.

They should be blaming her for attempt to scam/defraud you, not you.
Next time, speak up and tell your husband what's going on right away.

Biglittlelois:
Aunty already told the mum and hubby, hence their reaction, what makes you think her telling them her version will make any difference?

According to her story, she did not have the talk with her husband. I doubt that if she had done that, this ...

Her mum (mil) called me and started blasting me. Saying I'm feeling too big to be helped and her daughter was only trying to help me and now she never wanted to have anything to do with me again. That i should call her daughter and take the offer so that peace would reign. I didnt. Even my hubby blamed me and i couldn't even open my mouth to tell anyone i thought the whole setup was a scam. That's such a big accusation to make. The family dislike for me grew worse because of that incident.

... would have happened.
But as they say, hindsight, they say, is 20/20!

just because someone is family does NOT mean they have a good heart....some family members out there are worst than the devil... see how many gladly kill their family members for rituals!

Kobojunkie:

According to her story, she did not have the talk with her husband. I doubt that if she had done that, this ...

... would have happened.
But as they say, hindsight, they say, is 20/20!

Check the original post. I added a modification to clear this up

Biglittlelois:




So she should tell her husband that his sister wants to scam him by using her right? Did you read the end part of her right up at all?

Why would you not be able to tell your husband that someone is trying to scam him

Anyway the OP wey want pay money get job self na scammer. All of them fit each other

ThothHermes:
Why would you not be able to tell your husband that someone is trying to scam him

Anyway the OP wet want pay money get job self na scammer. All of them fit each other

Who is the someone? His sister? If your wife tell you your sister is trying to scam you, what will be your reaction?

Nl guys always looking for ways to blame ladies, how is Op a scammer?

I think your husband is doing well for himself financially.
Your in-laws have collected some *block* recently.
No other excuse to collect money from hussy hence she resorted to using your present state of joblessness to collect more.
You did the right thing.
Just tell your husband that more often than not, these deals don't pull through, and you don't want his money to enter voicemail.

You did well.
Is your SIL not educated?
How would anyone fall for such a stupid scam?
Why cant she get the job for herself? Abi her own destiny rejects to work in a big place?
You better let your husband know that you dont want his family involved in your job hunt. Meanwhile she would have packaged the lies for your MIL, and that one too will think her daughter is the don, getting jobs for people in all these big agencies and corporations.
Or perhaps mama is also in on the deal.

Amya:
Check the original post. I added a modification to clear this up

OK! So you did tell your husband, and he thinks you rejected out of pride?

By the way, how did your sister-in-law know to call you in the first place with the job offer? Did you ever find out whether your hubby blabbed to her about that or something?

Biglittlelois:



Who is the someone? His sister? If your wife tell you your sister is trying to scam you, what will be your reaction?

So if your brother is trying to scam you through your husband, your husband should not tell you about it?

Nl guys always looking for ways to blame ladies, how is Op a scammer?

A scammer is anyone looking for undeserved gain. By paying for a job slot, a better qualified candidate without money would miss out.

The OP's gender was not a factor in my comment. How you managed to see it through the lens of gender is beyond me. That tells me what is always going on in your mind.

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

Kobojunkie:

OK! So you did tell your husband, and he thinks you rejected out of pride?

By the way, how did your sister-in-law know to call you in the first place with the job offer? Did you ever find out whether your hubby blabbed to her about that or something?

I dont think hubby blabbed. They hadly communicate even. She pulled that not just with me but with my co wife. She succeeded with co-wife and when when no job came out of it, i got a little break especially from her mum. But even with that failed incident, i dare not say my co-wife was scammed.