This would be a bit long.


To start with, i have never condemned myself as a failure ever. I want to believe those are just phases in my life and it is unto greatness. I want to tell you about those phases in brief and in return i need your kind and candid advices.


I was born into a family that has three kids, i have two younger female sisters.

I'm over 30 years of age, but i have nothing to complement my age. I had always and still strive for knowledge. The kind of guy that want to learn every bit of anything he comes by.

I secured a job around 2013 (prior before this time I've always been working as a hotel receptionist ). I was receiving #70,000 then and was able to safe till i moved from a family house in Lagos to my own rented apartment. I was doing well for myself but a staunch gambler. I was an addict, but i was able to gamble within the ambit of my salary ( it did affected my income then but i wouldn't stop).

Fast forwarded to 2017, i resigned my appointment. I was able to safe #350,000 then. My parents supported me with #500,000 then i started a business. I relocated back to Osun state where i opened a patent medicine store, i lived with them during this time. (i had learnt about drug administration during my quest to know everything when i was still working in Lagos ).

I operated this shop for 8months and then it collapsed due to my gambling addiction. Then i ran back to Lagos 2018, started working again till things started going south. I lost the job after 5months, i couldn't go back home but stayed back with a family friend. This was when i hit the street properly, i sold illegal drugs to stay afloat but my gambling addiction couldn't still be savored. I was gambling heavily and this time i even went on credit gambling spree....

Till one day i hit the blunt of my life then i went for spiritual cleansing (i am not a believer though, i believe there is God but not a religious person par say). The man (Typical babalawo kind) He said i need to get married before anything meaningful would happen to me, he also told me i offended someone whom i should have married but wouldn't tell me who the person is... so many ladies we've had encounter but who knows who?

Then i sinked into myself. I came up with to the idea of a lady whom i thought i did offended. This lady who has always catered for my welfare since 2008, she stood on my toes to make proposals for marriage around 2015 (then i was still working in Lagos ). I had the impression that i won't get married till i start my own business. This lady in question has big business she is also running, so it wasn't because she would become a liability.
I met her parents then, i told then if they could wait till 2017/2018 then i would be sure i can settle down.
She is married though, i did apologized to her but she kept saying i didn't offend her, but prayed for me.


FastTracked to now, im back to square zero. I have been able to defeat my addiction. I made a resolution for 2020 to learn something. I started following a friend who was into POP installation. I have only been with him for only 4months before the coronaVirus lockdown started. My parents called me some weeks ago, advising me not keep going up and down. They wanted to secure a job for me at pharmacy where i can brush my knowledge back. They are not promising though, but i believe they may want to give me a soft loan again.... all these comes with a price though. I would have to live with them again (i am d only son ). I will be receiving a salary not up to 30k a month and have to leave what i am learning. I am a bit confused on what to do. I am above 30 years. An adult kid who still lives with his parent. .. would this give me any propeller or drive to success? I don't gamble anymore but at this stage, do i still need to live with my parents?
Are they not just too over caring?

Please advise me.

I read everything patiently and I am happy you have quit gambling. I will suggest you stay where you are and look for a hotel or bar to earn a living for the time being(since you have an experience in that) instead of going back home.

You have already tasted what it takes leaving alone, so if you go back home to live with your parents, depression will hit you hard especially when your successful friends come along. Irrespective of the money your parents are promising you every month

OP life is hard. Very hard. One of the easiest ways to survive is to not look back at your failures

In whatever decision you're taking, please don't go stay with your parents.

The POP installation work you're learning is far better than that slavery 30K monthly nonsense of a job!

SirWhiteFish:
I read everything patiently and I am happy you have quit gambling

Oh, but he still gambles! He's just not telling himself the truth. Or do you not see that he gambles with his life and hopes to reap where he destroys?

Gambling is an addiction. And as we say in Alcoholic Anonymous, "My name is op. And I am an addict".

These 12 Principles might help you. But you must persevere.

I would advise you take up your parents offer as a temporary measure, let's say for a year. Within this period you should get really clean from your addiction as there's always a possibility of falling back, same time you will be earning some income and also if you get this loan you can use it to start something new with a clean slate.
Also use this period to bond with your parents too.
Before the year runs out by then you will have a clearer idea of what you want.

budaatum:

Oh, but he still gambles! He's just not telling himself the truth. Or do you not see that he gambles with his life and hopes to reap where he destroys?

life gives some people soft landing and some; turbulent waters. I hope it's the former for you?

Don't judge people try to encourage them

Davash222:
In whatever decision you're taking, please don't go stay with your parents.

The POP installation work you're learning is far better than that slavery 30K monthly nonsense of a job!

He can earn that 30k while still learning the POP work, don't you think so?

SirWhiteFish:
life gives some people soft landing and some; turbulent waters. I hope it's the former for you?

Don't judge people try to encourage them

I find that life gives people soft landings at some stage in life, and turbulent waters at other stages.

I have had both and will continue to have both because neither is permanent.

TUANKU:

He can earn that 30k while still learning the POP work, don't you think so?

I can but man, it's hard for me to say i am an adult kid. With that Job i won't be able to learn the pop installation. You know when parents are too over caring. They think i may die due to traveling everytime lol . This guy I'm learning from has contracts within some states which still makes me travel often.

UnknownXman:


I can but man, it's hard for me to say i am an adult kid. With that Job i won't be able to learn the pop installation. You know when parents are too over caring. They think i may die due to traveling everytime lol . This guy I'm learning from has contracts within some states which still makes me travel often.

You need to man up to your parents, it's not disrespect, talk to them and make them see reasons.
My friend was born as the only child in the family, no brother or sister just him.
The mom over loved him and always wants him around. He has US citizenship by birth but presently dude is living in Barkin ladi in Plateau state.
Sometimes love kills instead, you can admire a flower but the moment you pluck it then it's dead.