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My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. - Romance (24) - Nairaland

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Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by emmaodet: 4:35pm On Jun 11, 2020
Skepticus:


I was surprised at the responses of most of the males (who one would mostly consider as thirsty simps) on this thread. Most are going MGTOW without even knowing it.


I don't know of twitter, facebook or Instagram but if you are a guy and frequent NAIRALAND romanceland regularly, you will be far more ahead of your mates offline or on other social sites unless ofcourse you are a satified S**P

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Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Gwilld(m): 4:35pm On Jun 11, 2020
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Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Abimbola007(m): 4:40pm On Jun 11, 2020
Don't agree to that. You'll be shocked he'll leave you and marry another woman

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Poseidon000: 4:45pm On Jun 11, 2020
LaJoe2:

My brother is married, whenever he comes around, I see the stress over his face, he used to be fairer than me. Even his rent had to be paid again for the 2nd time by someone else. He couldn't make the rent money.

The other day, all the staffs in the house had to gather to help start his car.

But I see the wife, getting fatter, moving around like a hog (I'm sorry, couldn't find a better description). Always walking around like she's tired or pregnant. The first thing she does when she comes around is to change the channel to ZeeWorld. You can tell shes living carefree.

I'm sorry, their situation doesn't encourage me to be married. Trust me, my brother would have been better off alone.

That's marriage in Nigeria.

Marriage is not bad, but wisdom. You have to assess the season to be married and the purpose. There is a right time and purpose. In our parents time, it was good/favorable to be married, men and women were brought up better and better trained for marriage plus the economy was better, but is it the same now, NOOOO!

It would be foolish of you to say, I must replicate what my parents did without considering that time has changed. Be ready to enter gbase.
This is the apt pictorial depiction. Lolgrin

But then again, this is but a microcosm of why men are averse to marriage. I have rich hommies who are impervious to this scenario, but are ineffably miserable in what we call marriage today.
I remember how loving and respectful their wives were before marriage, but now, they've metamorphosed to the kind of human-demon all religion warned us about.
I'm not a megalomaniac, but I can't deal with the slightest appearance of impertinence and I don't think I'm fit for marriage, because present day marriage is where such brazen show of impudence is quintessentially perpetuated. Now, the rising trend is women pitching their children against their husband with such demonizing fervor that the devil will be dazzled by their dexterity. I've seen young lads swearing and wishing to put their father to death, and when I inquire the particular reason for their sordid acrimony toward their father, they couldn't come up with something coherent other than regurgitate the twaddle their mom have beaten into them. Basically, men are prey in what constitute present day love relationship if we take total appraisal of the whole miserable affair.
We are sacrifical lambs presented to a pack of ravenous hyena by societal dictate and convention.

6 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by TheRedpillguy: 5:13pm On Jun 11, 2020
emmaodet:


I don't know of twitter, facebook or Instagram but if you are a guy and frequent NAIRALAND romanceland regularly, you will be far more ahead of your mates offline or on other social sites unless ofcourse you are a satified S**P
Twitter is picking up trust, some redpill handles on their to follow. Like @shadyaknight @redpillng

3 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by emmaodet: 5:17pm On Jun 11, 2020
Metaphysical27:




My question here is then why dont the guy marry her. Since there is no different. To the Christian., no matter how you sugar quote a thing cause of modernism. Or to suit what you like in Gods eye it's still fornication cause there is nothing binding the two individuals. If you say leave christianity in our traditional custom if the man should decide to leave the woman then woman can call a case. If the woman should go to court the court can't do anything. The main idea is what will cause a guy to want to stay with a woman and don't want to marry her since it's the same. Why is he so scared getting married. Marriage is important it has been and will be. Dont let the new style deceive you. Cause at the end you owe it to your children. To set example to your children it's not just all about the couple. Why do you think our mothers stay in a loveless marriage. It's not cause they cant leave. Its because of their children. If we know what is right we should do it.

Bro, the modern marriage and women scare the shit out of most men tbh.
When i was dating my wife then, we were happy and things going smoothly but when she and her mum raised the issue of marriage, i felt uneasy and scared.
I was scared of the future and when they noticed my fear, they confronted me and encouraged and reassured me not to fear because they will try their best to work it out with me and stand by me.
From day one, the family tried their best to make me feel comfortable with them by - calling me for xmas family dinner even when i was a student and broke then, the mum always calling me regularly to greet and no about my well being, the mum asking me for my prayer points when going to camp so as to pray for me etc
All these made me relaxed and i was at home around them, it reduced my fears.
If not for all they did, i really doubt if i would have married my wife

3 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by emmaodet: 5:18pm On Jun 11, 2020
TheRedpillguy:

Twitter is picking up trust, some redpill handles on their to follow. Like @shadyaknight @redpillng

Good
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Confusedgirl869: 5:20pm On Jun 11, 2020
emmaodet:


Bro, the modern marriage and women scare the shit out of most men tbh.
When i was dating my wife then, we were happy and things going smoothly but when she and her mum raised the issue of marriage, i felt uneasy and scared.
I was scared of the future and when they noticed my fear, they confronted me and encouraged and reassured me not to fear because they will try their best to work it out with me and stand by me.
From day one, the family tried their best to make me feel comfortable with them by - calling me for xmas family dinner even when i was a student and broke then, the mum always calling me regularly to greet and no about my well being, the mum asking me for my prayer points when going to camp so as to pray for me etc
All these made me relaxed and i was at home around them, it reduced my fears.
If not for all they did, i really doubt if i would have married my wife
Hmmmm
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Skepticus: 5:34pm On Jun 11, 2020
libertyfather:


It's too late, I'm drowned

cry cry cry

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by rexx07(m): 5:40pm On Jun 11, 2020
funmisticqueen2:


He doesn't see you as his dream girl. He has fuckboy written all over him. So if dangote's daughter date him, he won't marry her?

She's not Dangotes daughter...

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Vintage1234: 5:40pm On Jun 11, 2020
I don’t blame the young man because I don’t know his fears and I can’t assume his stands on his words.

But to the young lady, the possibility of getting a man to make that your dream come true is endless. You love the guy for his simplicity but your goals doesn’t align.

So my advice is to pray to God to lead you to the right path but don’t jeopardize your happiness and your dream for another person’s convenience .

Thanks
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Antichristus: 6:31pm On Jun 11, 2020
THE FEAR OF MARRIAGE IS THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM. IN PRE-COLONIAL YORUBA SOCIETY MARRIAGE ENTAILED A CEREMONY FEATURING PAYMENT OF DOWRIES, PRAYERS AND FEASTING. THIS CEREMONY EXCLUDES THE HUSBAND VOWING NOT TO TAKE OTHER WIVES.

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by ovielistic: 6:32pm On Jun 11, 2020
Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

I see a pattern in your life..and the forces that sponsor that pattern in your ancestral foundation have organised things so that you end up as a single parent with shared child custody..if you are a wise person you will seek intervention to destroy that family pattern first..if not you are on a very long thing as you will eventually find yourself in the very situation you were running away from..if not with this guy..maybe the next guy..Like my mentor Apostle Johnson Suleman will say..wetin dey find blood no dey take red oil.Lol
I have seen it happen.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by bezimo(m): 6:38pm On Jun 11, 2020
ovielistic:


I see a pattern in your life..and the forces that sponsor that pattern in your ancestral foundation have organised things so that you end up as a single parent with shared child custody..if you are a wise person you will seek intervention to destroy that family pattern first..if not you are on a very long thing as you will eventually find yourself in the very situation you were running away from..if not with this guy..maybe the next guy..Like my mentor Apostle Johnson Suleman will say..wetin dey find blood no dey take red oil.Lol
I have seen it happen.

Oh that they knew the power of ancestral sponsored family pattern!!
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Confusedgirl869: 6:57pm On Jun 11, 2020
ovielistic:


I see a pattern in your life..and the forces that sponsor that pattern in your ancestral foundation have organised things so that you end up as a single parent with shared child custody..if you are a wise person you will seek intervention to destroy that family pattern first..if not you are on a very long thing as you will eventually find yourself in the very situation you were running away from..if not with this guy..maybe the next guy..Like my mentor Apostle Johnson Suleman will say..wetin dey find blood no dey take red oil.Lol
I have seen it happen.
You see no fcking partner, get behind me satan. You know nothing about me
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by PoliteActivist: 7:00pm On Jun 11, 2020
LaJoe2:
Ok sir, I'm sorry sir, I've corrected it sir. Thank you for the lecture sir. You are blessed sir. Cheers sir!


Good man. If only all in NL were like you (including me!)
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by jamesmueller: 7:06pm On Jun 11, 2020
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Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by PoliteActivist: 7:09pm On Jun 11, 2020
Confusedgirl869:
You see no fcking pattern, get behind me satan. You know nothing about me

Ovielistic, is it this person below? What happened

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by PoliteActivist: 7:09pm On Jun 11, 2020
Confusedgirl869:
You see no fcking pattern, get behind me satan. You know nothing about me

Ovielistic, is it this person below? What happened?

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Matthew2925(m): 7:12pm On Jun 11, 2020
Lol. What's he is saying is he wants to be able to dump you anytime he feels like.
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by guychidile: 7:16pm On Jun 11, 2020
babe mama issues was caused because of how wifeys treat their hubbys.u don't know children see how some wifeys wicked their hubbys,it makes them to be afraid not to marry.,that's why they go for babe mama to avoid the wickedness of some wifeys.
it's time wifeys will change their wickedness to their husbands and treat them nice.,by so doing,some guys may change their attitude for babe mama,and start to marry girls.
so I will advice u to keep on praying and try convince ur man that u will never change to be a wicked wifey to him.
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by mlrelationship: 7:16pm On Jun 11, 2020
Ok
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by gudugudumeje: 7:17pm On Jun 11, 2020
This one is not good for you.Change gear now and find a fall-back partner... And by so doing take to avoid a generational curse he is about putting you to. He has bedn deceiving you. U r lucky you have been pregnant for him. Do not make the mistake to stay by him; or get pregnant b4 marriage. Pray wt Ps.34 and pray well and the good, new man wl come ur way.
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Angelina996(f): 7:42pm On Jun 11, 2020
Boredasf:
So you want him to sacrifice his freedom by marrying you abi
Abeg shift!!!

That young man is wise for not wifeing you up.
Marriage benefits Women not men.

I sincerely hope more men adopt this philosophy.
You women don't deserve marriage.
Any man that decides to marry any woman in this 21st century should know that he is doing her a HUGE favor!


Bros, are you for real?
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by SpecialNwa: 8:01pm On Jun 11, 2020
Boredasf:
So you want him to sacrifice his freedom by marrying you abi
Abeg shift!!!

That young man is wise for not wifeing you up.
Marriage benefits Women not men.

I sincerely hope more men adopt this philosophy.
You women don't deserve marriage.
Any man that decides to marry any woman in this 21st century should know that he is doing her a HUGE favor!
like seriously����
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by emmaodet: 8:36pm On Jun 11, 2020
delawal:


have seen alot of married men wit,same experience wit ur brother. u see some walking on d road like sth dt will,collapse while thier wives are,happy and fat,

there is a guy in my street,has 3kids, he keeps getting thinner everyday, when he,lost his job d wife come dey insult him up and down. one nite he came to d bar where we dey chill and told us dt he would have killed his wife this nite, we had to calm him down, some women can push men to do bad things in d,name if marriage,

people should know dt,time has changed, during,our parents days food was,no a luxury, today to eat three square meal has become a rich,affair, if u re not,financially stable stay away from marriage, d same,woman,pressuring u into marriage will b d same to always tell,u dt thier neighbour husband bought a car for her wife ,she will insult u till u die,

we likke to pretend alot, here in,naija many married people re not happy but they,will,come and tell u its d,best thing ever happend to them. they wont,open,up to u. marriage is,good but lets be,more open,abt,it,discussing,d,realities,inherent,in,it


When i scream that men should be more open with their sufferings in marriage, some NL ladies started fidgeting and saying these generation men are sissy, babies, always whining and complaining.
They want to shut the men up so that they can keep working for them and die in silence.

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by emmaodet: 8:44pm On Jun 11, 2020
LaJoe2:

My brother is married, whenever he comes around, I see the stress over his face, he used to be fairer than me. Even his rent had to be paid again for the 2nd time by someone else. He couldn't make the rent money.

The other day, all the staffs in the house had to gather to help start his car.

But I see the wife, getting fatter, moving around like a hog (I'm sorry, couldn't find a better description). Always walking around like she's tired or pregnant. The first thing she does when she comes around is to change the channel to ZeeWorld. You can tell shes living carefree.

I'm sorry, their situation doesn't encourage me to be married. Trust me, my brother would have been better off alone.

That's marriage in Nigeria.

Marriage is not bad, but wisdom. You have to assess the season to be married and the purpose. There is a right time and purpose. In our parents time, it was good/favorable to be married, men and women were brought up better and better trained for marriage plus the economy was better, but is it the same now, NOOOO!

It would be foolish of you to say, I must replicate what my parents did without considering that time has changed. Be ready to enter gbase.

This type of man is Exactly what most ladies want.
A work horse, Slave, financial Robots, jaki, camel/rakunmi, a donkey that is meant to serve them, their wants and fantasies all their lives and when he drops dead, they quickly search for another donkey to continue working for them.
They call these type of men -
A Complete ma
A Real Man
Man of the House

while the idiot is gradually dying slowly because the wife is boosting his egos with virtually cheap sex for her own selfish benefits.
They call people like me Sissy, a lazy man that wants to be eating his wife's food, A grown baby in adult's body etc but am not moved lailai
They want a man that will hustle ooooo and keep paying unending bills to the extent that even common clothes/shopping, he won't be able to do for himself due to more bills falling on him per day
God forbid bad thing

5 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by showafrica(m): 8:47pm On Jun 11, 2020
Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

Be the baby mama, when he sees his offspring shining and the mother still looking sweet and 'motherful' nobody go tell am to arrange wedding. He sees sth in you thats likely to change after marriage. However, C-ronaldo has 4 kids with a baby mama.
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Beatswim: 9:01pm On Jun 11, 2020
APOPTOSIS:

Well articulated too.
But she may not be the problem as you purported.
The guy may be afraid or not ready too.
yea that's absolutely true
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by emmaodet: 9:32pm On Jun 11, 2020
Intrepid01:
But some girls don't mind sha....a young lady I've been friends with, she just graduated from Unilag. Around December/ January I told her wanted her to conceive for me and she was cool with it. infact we recently dsussed it again and she's still cool with it. I asked her if I Dad won't be angry, cos her mum is late, she said her he won't be mad at her at all. Unfortunately me I was just joking about it but the pretty babe is damn serious about it.

Intrepid? You mean Bourbon Intrepid?
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by chlowi(f): 9:32pm On Jun 11, 2020
MOnkeyBabe:
God God God, you are like the most intelliGent human BeinG on NAIRalanD. Oh, I maRvel at the wisDom of GoD BeStOwed on man

thank you babe

1 Like

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