My mum has this attitude of holding on to the past, also lack of trust for people. Ever since we could bearly hear a word she has been telling us about bad things our dad did to her and all of that. My mums last born is no longer a teenager yet she wont stop talking, she has a negative perception about people, she hardly ever thinks of someone in the positive light.
Now the problem is I see myself subconsciously going down same path, only difference is I dont do that to my friends, neighbours or any other random person but my boyfriends.
I remember doing same to my first ex, how I'd use the info or whatever not so good thing he did to me against him, I'd release all my emotions through texting him really nauseating stuff. We would argue continually until we both get tired. My mum doesnt relent too, I see her trying to win arguments with my dad all the time.
This particular ex isnt the only guy I did that too.
Now I have done the same to my present and I feel so bad, I dont see myself doing this ever again.
I've had my share of heartbreak so I wanted to love with my head this time, he told me about something and I believed him until two days ago. I wanted to be sure and use my head, so I asked some few people that confirmed it to be a lie, I was angry and poured out my emotions using really bad words, I have deleted the messages tho he read them, I cant get myself to read them over again. I later asked one more person and the last person said it is true(this person works in same ministry).
I have sent him an apology text this morning, he has read and didnt reply. He didnt reply any of my bants too. I really dont know if I have lost him now cos of this.
I'm a very good lady, faithful and give cheerfully in a relationship, this is my only bad attitude and I know it's a huge one. Please how do I stop this? I need help! I still live with my parents and my mum has not stopped talking either.

You are still.doing what you are complaining against....By blaming your mother for your own very wrong doings......



Young lady, you are a woman and all you need is to let a man be a man and you to be a woman around him....


I also think you have anger issue and you are quick to react to issues without proper evaluation, whenever you are angry.


Always calm yourself down and try to be happy. There's nothing wrong for you to love with your head, but you shouldn't over do and shouldn't be too suspicious and let the truth play out to your face, without getting involved.

You did something wrong and you still want to blame your mother for that

Y'all think doing something bad and saying "i'm sorry" will automatically bring peace and make things right... No way!! It doesn't work that way again. Perseverance is the key.. Think before you act so you can stop sending apology texts every time.

Davash222:
You did something wrong and you still want to blame your mother for that

Y'all think doing something bad and saying "i'm sorry" will automatically bring peace and make things right... No way!! It doesn't work that way again. Perseverance is the key.. Think before you act so you can stop sending apology texts every time.

Thank you

Did the bird fly?

Skyfornia:
Did the bird fly?

I dont get you

Juliusdaughter:

I dont get you

The bird that carried the chick

Op whenever you spend time with someone the person's attitude robs off on you...so anytime you are with her and she starts talking about those pass hurts and all... please excuse yourself or you stylishly change the topic

Secondly you need to consciously practice how to let go of hurts especially by people close to you.... always force yourself to see the good side instead of others....

Think before speaking no matter how bad you want to say something consider the person's emotions...it will help you avoid some mistakes and then issues

Shinny1:
Op whenever you spend time with someone the person's attitude robs off on you...so anytime you are with her and she starts talking about those pass hurts and all... please excuse yourself or you stylishly change the topic

Secondly you need to consciously practice how to let go of hurts especially by people close to you.... always force yourself to see the good side instead of others....

Think before speaking no matter how bad you want to say something consider the person's emotions...it will help you avoid some mistakes and then issues

Thank you

First of all, work on yourself/attitude before going into any relationship.
Nobody deserves to put up with a toxic person.
No matter how beautiful you are, it'll be worth nothing if you have a bad character.
A good character is the true beauty of a person.

If you're a Christian, study the bible and meditate on its word. It's principles are the best to live by.

yanabasee1:
You are still.doing what you are complaining against....By blaming your mother for your own very wrong doings......



Young lady, you are a woman and all you need is to let a man be a man and you to be a woman around him....


I also think you have anger issue and you are quick to react to issues without proper evaluation, whenever you are angry.


Always calm yourself down and try to be happy. There's nothing wrong for you to love with your head, but you shouldn't over do and shouldn't be too suspicious and let the truth play out to your face, without getting involved.

Thank you. I am not like this with other people, just my boyfriend. My friends or neighbours cannot say I am an angry person.

Always be urself and look before u leap

You’ve done well to identify it early enough.

Next thing is to work extensively at curbing or eradicating the habit.



It won’t happen overnight .


When your mum is at it extract your self from the scene and situation.

In your relationship once you sense a negative on the other person’s part , write it down the or write down your feelings in a notebook preferably. Give it an hour see if you still feel so bad about it.
Text a friend or start a journal or an online diary . Don’t send directly to your boyfriend .

After a few hours the feelings may pass particularly if you’re able to calmly consider the positives against how you feel.

All the best

Stop blaming your parents

You're an adult and one of the important traits of being a grown up is that you can consciously choose to retrain yourself from displaying toxic behaviour learnt from childhood influences. Nobody is perfect, we're all works in progress. But what seperates the chaff from wheat is the ability to master your own emotions and work on your attitude

Amanee:
Stop blaming your parents

You're an adult and one of the important traits of being a grown up is that you can consciously choose to retrain yourself from displaying toxic behaviour learnt from childhood influences. Nobody is perfect, we're all works in progress. But what seperates the chaff from wheat is the ability to master your own emotions and work on your attitude

I'll start working on that.