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When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by 360command: 3:01am On Jun 18, 2020
Zeinymira:
Right from the first date I guess. I believe it should be sooner rather than later, before things get deep. You might just tell him when you get to the "tell me more about yourself" part. It's simple, just say your name is Amina and you are a single mom. It helps to weed out partners that aren't serious about you or guys who can't handle it.
the partner who got you pregnant, why don't you keep him since you all were both serious to be pregnant. Ashawo!!
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Beegrace: 3:07am On Jun 18, 2020
HeavenlyCherub:


It’s not a curse but let us not behave like a dog and have children from multiple people. Having multiple baby mamas or daddy’s shows in relationships you are the problem not the other people you were once involved with. God is not a fool. A union first followed by a child is the best way to do it. So as to avoid stories that touch
Everyone has a story to tell on how he/she ended up having a kid whether out of wedlock or not.. Lost mine immediately after child birth... Now you can understand my view point

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Beegrace: 3:12am On Jun 18, 2020
DeckXavier:
for men, not women. It isn't easy for a woman who has got a child to find a lover who'll stay around, why so, you may ask?
Having a child out of wedlock is more like a symbol for promiscuity, especially women.
My advise to the ladies, please use condom when having sex or at least contraceptives when having sex if you know you can't keep yourself till marriage, you know why? The society is unforgiven. Please, tell me how many men would choose a single mom when juxtaposed against a lady without a child? Be guided.. use condom or contraceptives, that your boyfriend that tells you he doesn't love condom ehn, when the chips are down, he'll abandon you and heaven will not fall, tricking people into marriage with pregnancy is a age long tactic that has lost its grip in this modern day where we've adopted a more liberal and individualistic view about life, nothing is geared towards the family again. Use your head.
I accept your view point on been difficult for women to find man who can love and marry a woman with excess baggage of having a kid or kids... Well everyone has a story tell before having a kid.. A sad one!!!
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by golddare: 3:43am On Jun 18, 2020
Dainy1:
What is the actual time? Immediately you met? Weeks, months after you met? Before you establish a relationship with him/her? When is the appropriate time that he/she will not get hurt nor walk away especially if they both met and love immediately?

To avoid prejudice, it's better you know the level of jis or her maturity because a child after wedlock can only be handle by mature minded person. It's not the end of the world, someone out there still appreciates persons like you, infact it means you are tested ok and better than those who have aborted but still claiming saints.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by fyneboi79(m): 3:50am On Jun 18, 2020
Dainy1:
What is the actual time? Immediately you met? Weeks, months after you met? Before you establish a relationship with him/her? When is the appropriate time that he/she will not get hurt nor walk away especially if they both met and love immediately?
upright people will tell you immediately. Crooked people will wait till you are hooked on them to use that as bait.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by PastorFire: 5:02am On Jun 18, 2020
Nephilim:
You have a child, I'm off like a speed of light lolz
Grow up man.. There is nothing wrong in that. Mine had a kid for another man while in the relationship and we are getting married.


Too much of rules here and there makes your relationship life too toxic for a happy life.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by femmy2010(m): 5:15am On Jun 18, 2020
NOW NOW
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by ABOVEDELAW: 5:17am On Jun 18, 2020
B/S!
BeautifulWoman:
DON'T TELL HIM until he proposes. No man is worth knowing about your personal life unless they are willing to spend their lives with you.

The best time to tell him is the day he pops the question(proposes). The moment he does, don't say yes yet but tearfully tell him you don't deserve him or a good man like him. He will be curious and ask why. That is when you tell him. At that point, he will be sober and trying his best to show you he loves you regardless.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by HeavenlyCherub(f): 5:17am On Jun 18, 2020
Beegrace:
Everyone has a story to tell on how he/she ended up having a kid whether out of wedlock or not.. Lost mine immediately after child birth... Now you can understand my view point

That’s different. I was referring to men who go around having kids or women who do the same and then blame the ex to why they’re not with the children’s father.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by zuby4real10(m): 5:23am On Jun 18, 2020
BeautifulWoman:
DON'T TELL HIM until he proposes. No man is worth knowing about your personal life unless they are willing to spend their lives with you.

The best time to tell him is the day he pops the question(proposes). The moment he does, don't say yes yet but tearfully tell him you don't deserve him or a good man like him. He will be curious and ask why. That is when you tell him. At that point, he will be sober and trying his best to show you he loves you regardless.
What of in the case of is the man that has the child, when did he suppose to tell her?
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by cryptotech: 5:24am On Jun 18, 2020
when u feel it's right
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by ProtectMyMoney: 5:43am On Jun 18, 2020
BeautifulWoman:
DON'T TELL HIM until he proposes. No man is worth knowing about your personal life unless they are willing to spend their lives with you.

The best time to tell him is the day he pops the question(proposes). The moment he does, don't say yes yet but tearfully tell him you don't deserve him or a good man like him. He will be curious and ask why. That is when you tell him. At that point, he will be sober and trying his best to show you he loves you regardless.

Na!....wrong. That means you'll be pretending all through till he proposes.

It is always best to say it immediately you meet. Who will stay will stay, who will go will go.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by nasoeb: 5:44am On Jun 18, 2020
BeautifulWoman:
DON'T TELL HIM until he proposes. No man is worth knowing about your personal life unless they are willing to spend their lives with you.

The best time to tell him is the day he pops the question(proposes). The moment he does, don't say yes yet but tearfully tell him you don't deserve him or a good man like him. He will be curious and ask why. That is when you tell him. At that point, he will be sober and trying his best to show you he loves you regardless.
you are simply "evil" how can you keep such a vital information from someone u claim u love (obviously u dont have what it takes to love because u are very selfish) so the child u have chosen not to tell him about, did u hide him inside bottle? That not even u family member nor close friends nor neighbours know about? One thing u adolescents dont know is that, when it gets to that stage of u expecting marriage proposal from him, u must have loved him dearly too. So he walks away, u get hurt even more

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by xendra: 5:53am On Jun 18, 2020
Dainy1:
Immediately. As soon as you met or you're get to know him for a while?
The day you decide you guys are going to be a thing. let them make their decisions themselves

Respect is everything.


Or when would you have loved to be told if the shoe was on the other foot treat people with the same value you want to be treated, they will notice.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by simplepee(f): 6:08am On Jun 18, 2020
BeautifulWoman:
DON'T TELL HIM until he proposes. No man is worth knowing about your personal life unless they are willing to spend their lives with you.

The best time to tell him is the day he pops the question(proposes). The moment he does, don't say yes yet but tearfully tell him you don't deserve him or a good man like him. He will be curious and ask why. That is when you tell him. At that point, he will be sober and trying his best to show you he loves you regardless.
You are wicked. That's manipulative.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by zedegit: 6:10am On Jun 18, 2020
Ningen:
Before or immediately after first coitus.


Must their be a coitus? Imagine your response with likes showing rot in society.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Dalby(m): 6:28am On Jun 18, 2020
Dainy1:
What is the actual time? Immediately you met? Weeks, months after you met? Before you establish a relationship with him/her? When is the appropriate time that he/she will not get hurt nor walk away especially if they both met and love immediately?

Immediately you conclude that the current relationship is for keeps...

Offen easier at the unset, when you recognize that your partner is reasonable and the emotional investment of both parties are minimal.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by tunjilana: 6:31am On Jun 18, 2020
For a woman, as soon as he mentions it Tobi Thatcher want to date U.

For a man, just before u tell her your intention to date her.


You will all agree this is simply how it should go, except u wanna b funny
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Dalby(m): 6:33am On Jun 18, 2020
zedegit:



Must their be a coitus? Imagine your response with likes showing rot in society.

E don forget say na wetin put am for the explanation problem in the first place... grin

1 Like

Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by chukkysnow: 6:37am On Jun 18, 2020
BeautifulWoman:
DON'T TELL HIM until he proposes. No man is worth knowing about your personal life unless they are willing to spend their lives with you.

The best time to tell him is the day he pops the question(proposes). The moment he does, don't say yes yet but tearfully tell him you don't deserve him or a good man like him. He will be curious and ask why. That is when you tell him. At that point, he will be sober and trying his best to show you he loves you regardless.
I think this way is trickish and deceitful
.if u start now,wen will u stop?.it's nt a good behaviour.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Nobody: 6:59am On Jun 18, 2020
If my wife had told me she has a child before marriage, I would have gone ahead to marry her still.
If after marriage she had told me she has a child somewhere, I would have divorced her.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by flexynwa: 7:19am On Jun 18, 2020
Bros.. money answers all things.. just imagine Davido or 2baba..if you hold bar..even if you meet her divorced.bro even your family members go vex if you no marry her join her kids.. just imagine you got the chance to marry tontolet or Tiwa..
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Happiness4eva(f): 7:21am On Jun 18, 2020
In my opinion, such information should be said right away before emotions come in. I once met a guy that was that transparent, he told me he had a child from his past on our first date, I respected him for that and never used it against him but then it all depends on individual, it is a huge deal breaker for some while it is nothing to others
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by mashad(m): 7:27am On Jun 18, 2020
[quote author=Dainy1 post=90657494] You mean once you met her maybe in ShopRite, you go ahead to introduce yourself and immediately include you're a father or mother of one?[/quote


You tell him on your first official date
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by ScotMisile: 7:30am On Jun 18, 2020
Dainy1:
Immediately. As soon as you met or you're get to know him for a while?
You can also go ahead to give him/her family history and geology that day.

Check the love first, because real love won't back out.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by adanny01(m): 8:11am On Jun 18, 2020
Dainy1:
What is the actual time? Immediately you met? Weeks, months after you met? Before you establish a relationship with him/her? When is the appropriate time that he/she will not get hurt nor walk away especially if they both met and love immediately?

This is exactly the reason my sister's wedding was halted.

The guy actually told my sister he has a child from a previous relationship and has no plans to take the kids mother. He proposed to my sister and she accepted.

However, the first friend I mentioned the wedding to told me to pull my sister out of it for her sake. He told me the guy has 3 children from 3 women.

I told my sister and family this and we became like enemies with this guy. We never had a conversation before but things became worst.

Anyways, we were able to confirm he has 2 children from 2 women. He initially denied but later admitted the 2 but denied the third. His excuse was that my sister will not agree to his proposal if she knew he had a second child.

The wedding plans have stalled so far and we are trying to find truth about the third. If the third is true, he will be a confirmed a "no good, go get a life nigga".
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by rayval(m): 8:12am On Jun 18, 2020
The right time is from the beğinning. Why do people keep the truth for the later. Not that you committed a crime.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by awujoolasola(m): 8:12am On Jun 18, 2020
Onset
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by TruthinAction: 8:12am On Jun 18, 2020
Tell him after you have developed true friendship. But avoid sex as much as possible so you have another child outside wedlock.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by david290(m): 8:17am On Jun 18, 2020
Don't let anybody blackmail you with words like 'real love', 'understanding', 'maturity' and 'serious'. You are not responsible for anyone's past. I have two cousins who have three kids from previous relationships. Another thing I want to mention is that even you decide to go ahead, you're in the best position if the babymama/babydaddy is dead. Lots of people in this generation aren't strong willed/disciplined enough to keep ex as ex.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Zeinymira(f): 8:21am On Jun 18, 2020
360command:
[s]the partner who got you pregnant, why don't you keep him since you all were both serious to be pregnant. Ashawo!![/s]
Are you ok? This has to be a new level of stupidity. Next time, read the post slowly hopefully you will get the message instead of jumping.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Nobody: 8:27am On Jun 18, 2020
Dainy1:
What is the actual time? Immediately you met? Weeks, months after you met? Before you establish a relationship with him/her? When is the appropriate time that he/she will not get hurt nor walk away especially if they both met and love immediately?


Immediately while the love is still hot in their heart.

That way you won't feel too heartbroken if they reject you.

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