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Stats: 2,694,173 members, 6,349,739 topics. Date: Monday, 21 June 2021 at 04:23 PM
|Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Learn1: 6:35pm On Jun 17, 2020|
Good day to you all.
I’m not really happy typing this but I seek your opinion. I will be done with nysc very soon and I don’t know what the future looks like. I come from a family full of cultist and smokers. Infact I’m not regarded. Everyone is a yahoo boy. I’m a yahoo boy myself but intend getting a legit job after service. During this service year none of my siblings called me on phone even though I passed through a lot. Recently I asked them to give me an advice of life after service after as they have been there before but nothing sensible were they able to tell me. I feel bad because this are people I suppose to look Up to. But life goes on. I deleted their number not long ago.
My plan after service is to go back home get my certs and cut all available way for me to be reached by all family members and relocate to a new place where I don’t know any body and start life. I don’t think I belong with them because even looking at me I’m like a complete opposite. I intend staying in a church if I get to a new land before I find my footing.
Please advice me.
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by ModestGal(f): 6:46pm On Jun 17, 2020|
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Stephenomozzy(m): 6:57pm On Jun 17, 2020|
Stop placing too much emphasis on the validation you wish to get from your family.
You have called them smokers and g-guys, eo obviously you're not looking at being like them too. Seek mentorship outside, families can be different things most times, but even when they don't inspire us, it does not warrant DISOWNING them. WE ALL NEED EACH OTHER.
Life after service is tough,
But it's easy to navigate when you come out with a prepared mind and goal-oriented mindset. Strt working on yourself, build on your skills and follow paths that will help you get competitive edge.
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Learn1: 7:06pm On Jun 17, 2020|
Thank you very much for this piece.
My father has given me education and also something to give me an edge in the job market. Although I don’t know how it feels like applying for jobs and working in organizations because I’ve always been doing yahoo. But I hope I hope the bsc and diploma I got gives me an edge. I have tried getting mentors but don’t know how to. Infact in every thing I’m doing right now I do them myself and I don’t even have a girlfriend to share ideas with. All my friends fall into the category my family falls in. Infact after nysc I’m supposed to stay with any of the sibling pending when I get something doing but the manner they respond to my message show I’m not important to them
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by donbachi(m): 7:13pm On Jun 17, 2020|
Family and friends head dey shake...I wish u meet people wey their heads no dey shake in life...nothing drags a man backward like dem and a bad woman.
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Learn1: 7:15pm On Jun 17, 2020|
Thanks for the wishes. But lol seems you spoke in parables there by saying their head dey shake.
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by donbachi(m): 7:16pm On Jun 17, 2020|
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Stephenomozzy(m): 7:16pm On Jun 17, 2020|
1. First of all, having a B. Sc and Diploma means you're educated (or at least you went to a tertiary institution). What gives you an edge is "what can you do? How good are you? How important are your skills/personality traits to an organization? These are what gives you an edge. Stop tagging yourself to scam. You can stop it.
2. About not having mentors or friends to share ideas with - you cant put new wine in an old bottle. You have to change your present circle of friends - it's not going to be easy, but it will be worth the efforts. You need a clique that gives you a better perspective and helps you see beyond VPN and bombing illegalities. When you give your soul a new clique, it'll gift you a mentor.
3. In today's world, its almost everyone for himself. You may have no choice but to stay with one of them...but tell your self that it is only TEMPORARY. talk to them that you miss the connection as a family. But also know they're also carried away with trying to HUSTLE. so they may not be very attentive to your emotional needs.
But you owe yourself a chance to have the last laugh
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Learn1: 7:21pm On Jun 17, 2020|
Thank you very much for your inputs
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by yanabasee1(m): 7:32pm On Jun 17, 2020|
OP, I didn't return back to my parents house after .y service year....
I moved to a different city and started the hustle...
For you to even begin with anything.... You must ensure that you have someone to stay with and rent a place or you save up and rent a place...
Moving to a different city is very difficult...The first step to take if you don't know/have anyone I. that city is to go with enough money to rent your own apartment, you should get shelter first....then you can use one year to settle yourself with a job and then start up from there....
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Learn1: 7:34pm On Jun 17, 2020|
Thank you very much for your input
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by addexx: 7:35pm On Jun 17, 2020|
If dem be affecting your peace and psyche bruv,
take a breather, be calm , go to each one of em
DISOWN THEM ALLLL!!!!!!!!!
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Learn1: 7:41pm On Jun 17, 2020|
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Bignuell(m): 9:29am On Jun 18, 2020|
Good morning OP. First off, because anyone can advice you, you need to advice yourself first. I've been in your shoes as regard the friends part. Now here are few possible solution. Change your circle of friend. Yeah. Its not easy but i gotta tell you it'll be worth it. It doesn't mean you shouldn't keep an open channel of communication with your "opposite friends". Don't just cut them off completely, you never can tell. For the mentorship, you can seek mentorship elsewhere. Try to look up to a figure that motivates you positively. That's why i said earlier you should also advice yourself. Concerning the family aspect, this one no easy oo. It might be that they are actually looking up to you. Forget all those character they put up, its a facade. They might want to be like you but they're dipped dyed into it. Here is the thing, they are family as long as they're not claiming your life, just make sure the communication channel is open. If after service, you can relocate and start life elsewhere. Success bro.
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Learn1: 10:44am On Jun 18, 2020|
I plan on running away from everyone immediately I get my certs at home and cut off all communication with them
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Bignuell(m): 10:50am On Jun 18, 2020|
Learn1:I know. Run away yes but cut communication, partially. Na your family be this. Just reason am sha.
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Learn1: 11:14am On Jun 18, 2020|
I remember when I was terribly sick in the early years of service nobody called just my parents. I owe them everything. Infact none of my siblings has called me this service year. I will tell my parents my plans and give them an email address to always reach me on but not a phone number and go start life in a far away place
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Bignuell(m): 11:44am On Jun 18, 2020|
Learn1:Well i cannot fault you. We all have experience but always let your parents know you're fine. Good luck bro
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by jbaby4u: 11:47am On Jun 18, 2020|
You need to pray ahead of your decision. Give your life to Christ for direction because He will never leave nor forsake you and lead you astray. And pray to God to touch the hearts and lives of your family because no matter how bad they are there is no place like home . Be strong and steadfast in all you do going forward cos being an adult is not a joke . It comes with so much responsibilities that sometimes you would feel like giving up in everything.
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Learn1: 11:48am On Jun 18, 2020|
|Re: Please Advice Me Urgently. Thanks. by Learn1: 11:49am On Jun 18, 2020|
Thank you very much
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