It is common that most people attribute "Influence" as a character possessed only by the wealthy in society. Believing it as being achieved only by manipulative means; or bought due to their social standing. But No..! You and I can become influential too, in our small circle and with people we come in contact with on a daily basis. You can achieve Influence by careful cultivation and practice, just like any character trait.
Charm has been defined as: "The quality in us that makes others feel good about themselves."
Although charisma and good communication skills are important, they are not enough to build lasting and impactful influence. Though there isn't any particular fits-all strategy for achieving influence, over the years, a few of these practices have helped me build my influence among friends and family and even acquaintances.... I can only have one of my favorite Authors to thank for that: Dale Carnegie.
Dale, in his book, "How To Win Friends And Influence People"[ a recommended read], dishes out useful knowledge on how to build influence, and it has tremendously enhanced the quality of relationships I have built over the years. I sincerely hope it helps you too, as I share some of that knowledge with you.
Note: You can; and should pick this book up to get a broader knowledge on the subject matter, as it stands highly recommended.
Let's dive in, shall we?

1. Instead of Criticising people, let's try to understand them.

In his words, "Criticism is futile, cause it puts the other person on the defensive and usually causes him/her to try and justify themselves." " Also, Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person's pride and hurts their sense of importance."
The English Dictionary defines it as : An expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes.
We have at some point, felt the sting of heavy Criticism; and boy! it wasn't pleasant.. One thing common with all humans, is our quickness in defending our pride whenever we feel the slightest attack. From personal experience, I can confidently say that it doesn't help to criticize, especially when done harshly.
"The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees, family members and friends, and still not correct the situation that has been condemned." says Dale.
So instead of Criticising, we should try as much as possible to understand people. And if ever you decide to criticize, then do so in a rather constructive way and people will learn to Love you, thereby increasing your influence.

2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.

Another great advice from this book, is evident in the above statement.
Inherent in every human is the need to feel important, a part of something bigger than themselves. This is visible at every level of society.. at our places of work, among peers and family members also.. Every human wants for some form of validation.

If you're able to give them want they want, then your influence will continue to grow. And the way to achieve this, is by giving honest and sincere appreciation at any given opportunity, to everyone you come in contact with. Continue to do so, and you will achieve substantial influence.
Swift gratitude is the sweetest.
Greek Proverb

3. This is a personal one. Learn to treat people with respect.

If you want to be able to influence people, then you mustn't neglect this very important item on this list. Every human desires a certain degree of respect. Infact, it is applicable to levels of human relationships. If you can learn to respect people's opinions,[even when they differ from ours], respect their choices[ though not all the time] or even just respect them as humans. Cultivate this into an habit, and you might just have positioned yourself as a person if influence.
Do not think yourself so big that
other people look small.
Confucius

4. Let the other person do more of the talking.

Dale says " If you want to know how to make people shun you and laugh at you behind your back and even despise you, here is the recipe: Never listen to anyone for long. Talk incessantly about yourself. If you have any idea while the other person is talking, don't wait for him or her to finish; burst right in and Interrupt in the middle of a sentence."
Sounds like someone you know! My guess is; you do not like to be around such a person often.
Coach Rick Pitino also reinforces this. He says, " The correct ratio of listening should be somewhere in the vicinity of four to one: Listen four times and speak once." In other words, Listen more than you speak.

Humans beings are selfish in nature. We love to talk about our achievements, likes, dislikes and a host of activities that interests us. If you can control this impulse, then it is a surety that you can build your influence with people you engage regularly.

5. Become Genuinely interested in other people.

All too often, we hear stories of the so called "Fake Friends", even in personal relationships, you might have experienced someone who was only interested in you cause they thought you had something to offer them. In a society of people who only show superficial interests in others, you can become influential by being genuinely interested in people.

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested others than in two years of trying to get people to like you."
Dale Carnegie

6. Be sympathetic with other people's ideas.

How many dreams have died because friends and family thought them less than ideal? There's nothing as soothing as the reinforcement a person gets from support from both friends and family. To become a person of influence, learn to sympathize and value other people's ideas

These amongst others can help you build your influence in your immediate circle and with everyone you come in contact with.
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DISCLAIMER: The ideas in this article were inspired by Dale Carnegie; Author of "How To Win Friends And Influence People" and other good books, plus some input from personal experiences in the study of human interactions.