CAPSLOCKED:
ARE THEY NOT THE SAME?
DOES PAYING 20 NAIRA AS BRIDE PRICE MEAN YOU WON'T FUND THE BRIDE'S FAMILY AND ELDERS IN THE VILLAGE EITHER IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER?

Plead:

The same thing.
But I believe men who see their wives as property with the excuse of paying bride price are probably mistaking it for marriage list.
It should be scrapped sha.

CAPSLOCKED:
ARE THEY NOT THE SAME?
DOES PAYING 20 NAIRA AS BRIDE PRICE MEAN YOU WON'T FUND THE BRIDE'S FAMILY AND ELDERS IN THE VILLAGE EITHER IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER?

A LOOK AT SOME OF THESE TRADITIONS TELLS YOU MOST PEOPLE DOWN HERE ARE JUST GREEDY AND HUNGRY. IN THE LIST FROM WHERE I COME FROM, AFTER THE COSTLY ITEMS LIKE GOATS, BOXES, CLOTHES, AND ALL, THERE'S A SECTION THAT INCLUDE IRRELEVANT THINGS LIKE BISCUITS, CHEWING GUM, TALCUM POWDER, BREAD & BUTTER, SNUFF, AND OTHER NONSENSES, AND IF YOU MISTAKENLY MISS ONE THING FROM THE LIST, LET'S SAY YOU BRING BREAD WITHOUT BUTTER OR YOU DON'T GET THE CHEWING GUMS OR SNUFF, YOU'LL BE DISQUALIFIED FROM MARRYING FROM THAT KINDRED UNTIL YOU PROVIDE ALL THE ITEMS TO THE LAST DROP OF SWEAT.

CAPSLOCKED:


THE ASPECT OF MEN SEEING WOMEN AS PROPERTY IS JUST A PATRIARCHY THING, BRIDE PRICE IS JUST AN EXCUSE TO ENFORCE IT.
WHERE WOMEN PAY DOWRY IN ASIA THEY'RE STILL TREATED LIKE SCRAP OBJECTS.
HERE, IN RELATIONSHIPS ALONE BOYFRIENDS BEHAVE LIKE THEY OWN THEIR GIRLFRIENDS. SOME WILL EVEN GO AHEAD TO ASSUME AUTHORITY OVER MERE FEMALE FRIENDS AND RANDOM GIRLS THEY MEET JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE MEN.

TO THE TOPIC, I DON'T THINK LIST AND BRIDE PRICE WILL BE SCRAPPED SOON. OUR PEOPLE ARE GREEDY AND HUNGRY. THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AND THE BRIDE, THEY JUST WANT TO GAIN FROM HER SALES, BOTH BEFORE THE WEDDING AND THROUGHOUT ALL THE YEARS SHE'D BE MARRIED TO YOU.

jboixxx:
Bride price/dowry is symbolic as rightly said and most times are paid to the bride, not the family and not necessarily in monetary value.

Marriage list is dependent on tribe/tradition/family and this is difficult to scrap but families can adjust to the level of the groom in order not to overburden him/his family.

As regards husbands that beat up their wives, they're simply irresponsible and shouldn't be called husbands but animals. No religion or tradition supports such a cowardice habit. Parents need to take care of their wards and instil religious and societal acceptable values in them right from childhood.

jboixxx:
Bride price/dowry is symbolic as rightly said and most times are paid to the bride, not the family and not necessarily in monetary value.

Marriage list is dependent on tribe/tradition/family and this is difficult to scrap but families can adjust to the level of the groom in order not to overburden him/his family (which some husbands use as reason to maltreat their wife/ves).

As regards husbands that beat up their wives, they're simply irresponsible and shouldn't be called husbands but animals. No religion or tradition supports such a cowardice habit. Parents need to take care of their wards and instil religious and societal acceptable values in them right from childhood.

Righteousness89:
The Worst thing that could happen in marriage is Getting married to a person that is not Divinely Ordained for you!

Many men and Women have deserted their homes just for this..

This is the Main foundation of any Home...

The money you spend on your Marriage does not equate the happiness you will get...

The number of of people that celebrate you does not equate the degree of joy in your Home..

The publicity stunts and social media attraction your Marriage get does not equate the happiness..

Pls don't just say I do! Be Divinely led Befor you say I do..

God Almighty the Creator of the institution of Marriage, is not Committed to where he didn't send you!

Biglittlelois:



Oga, the topic is about bride price and wedding list, not successful/unsuccessful marriages, if you want to be preaching about God every time, good and fine, but try not to go off topic, let your preaching align with present discussion, it shouldn't be that hard for you.

Plead:

Why is that?

Righteousness89:
[s]The Worst thing that could happen in marriage is Getting married to a person that is not Divinely Ordained for you!

Many men and Women have deserted their homes just for this..

This is the Main foundation of any Home...

The money you spend on your Marriage does not equate the happiness you will get...

The number of of people that celebrate you does not equate the degree of joy in your Home..

The publicity stunts and social media attraction your Marriage get does not equate the happiness..

Pls don't just say I do! Be Divinely led Befor you say I do..

God Almighty the Creator of the institution of Marriage, is not Committed to where he didn't send you[/s]!

jboixxx:
Cuz it's "Africans "way of life! It'll take a while even if there's revolution against it. There's no marriage in Nigeria without those lists except the union is not backed by either or both families. Even if it's just a Kola, it'll be requested as bride list.

Plead:


Africans way of life is quite archaic tho...

bukatyne:


What makes African way of life archaic? In comparison to what/ whose culture?

Because they have marriage lists and bride price?

Are there no 'bad' husbands in places where they pick themselves off the streets and go to the court?

Plead:


Lol. What do you have to say on the op?

Righteousness89:


Sister Why can't you just make your input and pass by!

This your attitude is a major problem in homes..

bukatyne:


It depends on the culture.

In my place, not so much spent in BP (often returned// although some others have debated returning it is like dissolving the marriage) & ML and the wife's family hosts the ceremony and gives gift to the grooms' family.

That way, the bride's family usually spends more than the Grooms'.

So we are down to the symbolism and not cost.

While BP/ML might seem a reason to 'treat women as property', some men pay same and do not maltreat her.

They see it as pride to perform the rites and complete the process of 'having' their wives.

In some customs, the women pay dowry and are still treated like shit.

In some others, nothing is paid and women are still treated like shit.

Even if BP/ML is scraped, a man pre-disposed to maltreat his wife would just look for another anchor to do so.

missimelda01:
Bride price is symbolic and should not be scrapped. Marriage list depends on how greedy a family is, I think it should be scrapped... Or maybe made optional.

Plead:


How’s this bs in anyway related to the op.

ibkayee:
Even if the marriage list is scrapped, they can still recuperate the loss via the bride price, they will still get what they’re after so I don’t really see much of a difference

missimelda01:
Bride price is symbolic and should not be scrapped. Marriage list depends on how greedy a family is, I think it should be scrapped... Or maybe made optional.