DontBullshitMe:
What do people see in marriage?

It has never excited me for a second.

Sixfeetbelle:
I didn't understand what this guy said earlier until I reread the Op post. He really didn't do traditional marriage which would explain why the in-laws are against him as well. He was asked to bring cow but he decided against it entirely and went to do court marriage. I know that if it's an Igbo tribe, his action would be viewed as disrespectful and the lady's family will turn against her for marrying him. Now 10 years later and she's still 'unmarried'. Definitely sure her 'behaviour' is as a result of the marriage thing. Her family must be on her neck to get him do the needful yet he refuses to get the sign. Hence, the woman disrespecting him so blatantly is cause she has backing.

Tbh, Op knows the right step to take to remedy the situation but he wants to validate himself online.

Fountainofyouth:
Endurance is very important in marriage, I know of a distant distant distant uncle who endured all manner of things in his marriage, and he's still there enduring, infact, his daughters always pray to have a husband like their father, becos of his high level of prayer and endurance, so Op pray very well ehn, you will be fine.

One4me:


You did not say anything about the demon, Spirit husband bitting his Pr!ck, what is your advice for that one?
What about the inlaws that conspire against him, wetin im go do about those scoundrels?

Martinez39s:
Not so fast. Let's assume the op deliberately opted for court wedding to save cost, what's wrong in that? Shouldn't a wise man cut his coat according to his size and avoid unnecessary expenses? As far as the court wedding has been done, the op and his wife are MARRIED. What his wife's family thinks is their business, and it isn't an excuse to be disrespectful and toxic.

You know very well that the OP's wife is not misbehaving because the traditional wedding never happened, she is doing so because it is who she is. If it were about the traditional wedding, she wouldn't have married the op; what stops her from leaving the op? I am not surprised by your disingenuousness; what wouldn't a woman do to defend her fellow woman. Good night.

osazsky:
ignore him..from what he typed the guy is 100000 percent irresponsible...he didn't marry her for 10 years and was waiting for her parent to die so that he can dodge marraige expenses now he is looking for respect cuz he paid 10 thousand naira to sign oredo local govt papers

Encash:
I had introduction. We we're about to do the traditional marriage. Her mother died. I invited the family after two years since her parents are dead one of the distant uncle gave me a bill, including a cow. We opted for a court marriage. It was done.

But this woman is disrespectful. Pastors prophet tell she has a spirit husband. Sometimes I see a man fighting me in the dream. After sex smthing will bit my d..k. 3 times a year. She refused to go for deliverance She is stubborn and self centered

Her brothers and sisters are supporting her ill manners. Myself and brothers have gone to the police station once. This is because of the differences. Ok, Come and take your sister I won't see them. She can leave my kids for me or take them along. I do 80percent of the spending, paying house rent for more than 10 years and payment of fees. A frigid woman that hate sex like shit.

People advise I stay because of the kids. But I can't continue like this. I am fed up .

Please advise no insult.

Poseidon000:

I don't want to sound recriminatory, so, wouldn't want to embroil your male kin's in this, but would you endure a marriage with a none violent abusive misogynist? I'm unequivocally positive the answer is 'No'.

So, why council him to endure a disrespectful, crass and selfish partner, who abdicated the very solemnity(sex) marriage is predicated on(- that's if we should bank on the veracity of his claim.)
This is why I've strong reservation soliciting female advice on this kind of issue, cause you lot inevitably find a way to enmesh gender sentiment in your advice.

laluski:

If nobody insults you...I will..you deserve it.imagine as an elder brother to you,I know all you're passing Tru and you keep taking all this nonsense. Over and over again..for 10 good bloody years? And you're still asking for advice to stay or leave? ARE YOU MAD? ARE U PSYCHOLOGICALLY DERANGED?
wait..is it until dey bury your dead body and you jam her husband for hell fire nahim you go get sense and do the right thing that would have been late by then..noo...don't leave ...stay...Ewu me

Sixfeetbelle:
[/b]Didn't you read the part where Op said the in-laws are against him as well?

I tell you no woman will be that disrespectful and everyone will be on her side. None at all. It is clear the Op is painting the wife black to favor him, while forgetting to pen down his shortcomings as well.

@ the bold. You people will never fail to amaze me.
Typical of you to call me fake and gender biased because I pointed out a likely reason for her behaviour, but in the same vein you seem to accept whatever the Op said just because he's a man. Now tell me who's being disingenuous here?

Encash:
I had introduction. We we're about to do the traditional marriage. Her mother died. I invited the family after two years since her parents are dead one of the distant uncle gave me a bill, including a cow. We opted for a court marriage. It was done.

But this woman is disrespectful. Pastors prophet tell she has a spirit husband. Sometimes I see a man fighting me in the dream. After sex smthing will bit my d..k. 3 times a year. She refused to go for deliverance. She is stubborn and self centered.

Her brothers and sisters are supporting her ill manners. Myself and brothers have gone to the police station once. This is because of the differences. Ok, Come and take your sister I won't see them. She can leave my kids for me or take them along. I do 80percent of the spending, paying house rent for more than 10 years and payment of fees. A frigid woman that hate sex like shit.

People advise I stay because of the kids. But I can't continue like this. I am fed up .

Please advise no insult.

Martinez39s:
Why wouldn't they (wife's family) be against someone they didn't milk dry in the name of bride price? Is that enough reason why the woman must be disrespectful and toxic to her husband?

Lies. The wife, being a toxic person, hates the OP. The family, on failing to milk the OP dry in the name of brideprice, hate the OP. They inadvertently share a common hatred and would support the wife in making hell for the man they hate; after all, they WRONGLY don't consider him her husband for not paying the brideprice.

You and I know that you are biased towards the woman. The op narrated his supposed ordeal, and I advised him based on his story. It's that simple: if you don't like your spouse, and you think your spouse is toxic, get a divorce.

Sixfeetbelle:
Advising him based on his story about her behaviour makes you biased; gender biased if I dare say. Even other males here can sense Op just wants to score points to validate his claim. If he wants to divorce, he should go ahead but even he knows it's not in his best interest to do so.

The statement 'milking him dry' is fallacious at best. Marriage expects certain commitments which he failed to uphold, such that even the devil will be against him (biting preek ). The man gave an opportunity for him to be disrespected and he's reaping it in multitudes. Simple.

Oluromantic:
The change in attitude of women once they cross the wedding border is scary. I actually don't know what to say. I don't support divorce and abortions so I'd advice you do the praying for her and hope that God changes her. You will triumph by God's grace

ojun50:
I have come to understand that one's women start giving birth dey start hating sex..

Op you are the one wearing the shoe, do what make you be at peace

Have you seen this post from here?
https://www.nairaland.com/5955320/hushpuppi-behing-mmm-scam-see

Dande55:

Is she suppose to pay school fees and house rent? Why are you complaining about paying bills in the house? So that jobless men here can call her names or what exactly is your point?
Back to your issue: Why can't you work on your marriage? Maybe you should try dressing well and looking nice. Do you have pot belly? How's your sex game like?

supereagle:

It seems we are suffering the same thing. Mine maybe more than yours. The only thing mine is after in the house is give me money. I handle the house chores myself.
She brings problems for me from outside regularly. She sell our household properties as she wants it.
Anyway, marriage is meant to enjoyed and not to be endured. Marriage can be likened to a wrap gift, whatever you see there when you open is your own .

Taiwojon:

whatever the situation
please settle it with your wife


GOD HATE DIVORCE

Encash:
I had introduction. We we're about to do the traditional marriage. Her mother died. I invited the family after two years since her parents are dead one of the distant uncle gave me a bill, including a cow. We opted for a court marriage. It was done.

But this woman is disrespectful. Pastors prophet tell she has a spirit husband. Sometimes I see a man fighting me in the dream. After sex smthing will bit my d..k. 3 times a year. She refused to go for deliverance. She is stubborn and self centered.

Her brothers and sisters are supporting her ill manners. Myself and brothers have gone to the police station once. This is because of the differences. Ok, Come and take your sister I won't see them. She can leave my kids for me or take them along. I do 80percent of the spending, paying house rent for more than 10 years and payment of fees. A frigid woman that hate sex like shit.

People advise I stay because of the kids. But I can't continue like this. I am fed up .

Please advise no insult.

Sixfeetbelle:


You guys will always aim at sounding objective but end up being biased once you realise a woman made the comment. Seriously, what's with the bold?

And, please do take note to not advice a woman to endure a cheating, disrespectful partner all in the name of marriage because of the sentimental and egoistic excuse for indiscipline in the form of the infamous 'men are polygamous in nature' phrase.

vickydevoka:
Dats y I can't marry my galfriend bcus I knw dis kinda thing will come up. Jst ask u describe ur wife na so she be. She behave like sum1 who is possess. Na her beauty de make me stick to her buh lie lie I better remain single

mrchineke:


Foolish African idiots abound!

YES!!! She bloody well is!!!! No wonder the country is in grave poverty and stupidity. Please adjust to the real world. There is nothing like husband and wife, it's partners and 2020 any woman who can't pay rent and assist husband is not worth marriage.

onlinestaff2020:
Forget about prayers in this matter.

Who prayers help?

If prayers really works, why are good people dying everyday?

Nairalanders, have you all Sat down and estimate how many people have died this year?

Prayers don't work.

God don't exist.

Op, you need to take the bull by the horn while the sun is still shining.

Discuss with your wife for the last time on the way forward.

If she refuses to listen to you, divorce her ASAP.

Divorce is necessary, so that anger will not take you to murder her or she murders you first.

Thereafter, look for a young girl that you can spend the rest of your life with.

Marriage in many situations, is a pure SCAM.

Marriage is NEVER compulsory.

That's my two cents.

Pronto!

Poseidon000:

First off; it's bareface disingenuity on your part to highlight my last sentence with your rhetorical question that is pointless from the get go, cos a quick perusal of this thread will show palpable proof where female opine is quintessential skewed toward, and accentuate my point with effortless conformity.