This is a very serious allegation that is unfortunately coming from a mother
I seriously doubt I'll ever forget and forgive her
OP, forge closer ties with your father and forget that b*itch

godkiller:
You should have talked to her again about it. Forgive her anyways.

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Kai I swear to Almighty God that created heaven and earth your mother is a confirmed witch..

Agba2020:
I've only told this to one person and I've been carrying this one for 9 years now.
This might turn out to be a little long, so bear with me. When I was 17, a few days to my first WAEC, I was reading in the living room when my mom walked in and falsely accused me of sleeping with my own Dad... Oh, I'm a guy btw. I'm not gay, neither am I effeminate ...

I noticed that the only two topics on your profile has to do with this subject. You had tried to raise the matter in the first topic but fortunately this one made the front page.

If this thing has been eating you up inside for ten years, I think it is time you either spill the matter to your family and find healing. Or, you see a professional psychologists who can advise you appropriately. I do not see the comments on Nairaland helping you here. And the earlier you deal with this the better before it leads to suicide thoughts.

But if it will help you, let me tell you a few things I know about women having been married to one for over ten years now.

1. Most women say things they do not mean. And being your mother, and not having brought this up since she said it, might mean that she has realized that she is wrong and will not apologise to you out of pride. You could meet her privately and tell her your hurt and ask her to apologize. It may help her.

2. Most women are rabidly jelous. I cannot count the number of times my own wife has accused me of different things. She just cannot fanthom the idea of sharing me with anyone. I have never been unfaithful to her and yet she is never ending with her accusations. I just take solace in the fact that my hands are clean.

3. I am a Christian minister and counselor and I trace every challenge in our lives to one subject: sin. It is actually not the sin of your mother's; she has hers to bear. I am talking about your own sin. If you would be sincere with yourself, you would realize that an over preoccupation with yourself has festered this wound in your heart. It is also the root of unforgiveness; which you have refused to lend your mum. The solution is a living relation with God through Christ.

When you realize that you are a sinner and you find forgiveness with God, you would not find it difficult to forgive your mother - who has obviously sinned against you. It all begins from there: forgiveness. And the real challenge is this: your parent's lives are ending, while yours is just beginning. You don't want to begin your life with this baggage.

If you need more counsel, please reach me on newdejix@gmail.com. I would be willing to share God's word with you more deeply; even as a pray for you that God will heal your heart.

Amen.

Agba2020:
I've only told this to one person and I've been carrying this one for 9 years now.

This might turn out to be a little long, so bear with me. When I was 17, a few days to my first WAEC, I was reading in the living room when my mom walked in and falsely accused me of sleeping with my own Dad... Oh, I'm a guy btw. I'm not gay, neither am I effeminate.

She claimed she saw my Dad touching me and that he slept with me. I was stunned. I went through different ranges of emotions. At first, I wanted to curse her, then I wanted the ground to swallow me up for real, then I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to scream, tears just filled my eyes, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Why are you doing this?" and then she just walked out. I just sat there losing my mind, I knew it was untrue because there's no way you would penetrate a guy without him feeling it, right? Not to mention the fact that I have no memory of this ever happening. And yet she claimed she saw this happening, if that was true, why didn't she stop it?

Long story short, that was the day my life got turned upside down by my own Mom. The not so funny thing is, she never once brought up that issue again since then, and yet she never apologized for it (not that I'd ever forgive her anyway). Dad has no clue about this issue, by the way.

Bros how old are you
you sure say you they okay
how this con change ur life ??

Back to your story, How did your mom then ruin ur life..... bcus you only told us an incident that happened when u were 17 and with ur write up, she only accused you....i didn't see how that should ruin ur life..... Or hope it's not what am thinking..... Na 14yrs jail term o.

SweetCunt97:
She probably got possessed by her village people.

lol

Ibkay32:



Bros how old are you
you sure say you they okay
how this con change ur life ??

My broda i tire o.... inside dis corona person no fit rest in peace again... him talk am say him mama ruin him life like say na one kind serious matter..... nawa o, ogogoro no good.

Agba2020:
Maybe "ruined my life" was a bit of an exagerration, that was mostly so people would check out the thread. It definitely ruined my relationship with not only her, but my Dad as well, because since she said what she said i just couldn't stand the sight of my own Dad anymore. There was a time not long after the accusation when he was talking to me and Dad tried touching me on my arm and i just freaked out, i almost jumped away. It might sound funny, but it really wasn't funny to him, he was just shocked and confused as hell, but i couldn't tell him coz i thought it would only destroy the family, so i just shouldered the burden. It didn't affect my sexuality, but it held me back academically and in life. I was isolated because i had no one to talk to.

So you want to end up "saving your family" but slowly destroying yourself??

You should have informed your father to get the issue resolved once and for all.

I can’t wrap my head round the fact that your mother continued staying married to the man that she saw sodomising their/her own child.
This is arguably the most tragic part of the story, that rather than confronting her fellow oath taker she chose to attack an innocent. The only thing worse than this folly of hers would be the act itself (your father having carnal knowledge of you), if it really happened.
I exonerate you from it all since you were a child and know you are not into incest.

Honestly you may not heal properly if you don’t talk about this with them. Your father deserves to know about this too and clear his name if innocent. Your mother has some work to do. Both in terms of accusing your father to his face and in explaining her self if what she said never happened.
As I see it, your family is very and truly broken, and silence will not make things any better.

Where do your other siblings fit in this dynamic?Are you sure it wasn’t a nightmare that you had?
Then to look at it in another light, if the horror really did happen, what if maybe you have repressed the traumatic memory?
My heart goes out to you any way one looks at this story. I hope you find healing. God bless you.

heendrix:
Indomie build up

so she accused you wrongly and ever since then your life spoilt? let it continue spoiling na. mtcheww

sha keep us update to the monthly level to which it's spoiling

Silence is golden. You don't have to add to his misery by altering that nonsense.

We are not built the same.

@Op, find a therapist and explain your situation. Most folks on nairaland are dumbass. They're not sensitive to emotional abuse. If it's not physical then it's not an abuse to them.

Peace

Tnycee:


So you want to end up "saving your family" but slowly destroying yourself??

You should have informed your father to get the issue resolved once and for all.

Exactly

Agba2020:
I've only told this to one person and I've been carrying this one for 9 years now.

This might turn out to be a little long, so bear with me. When I was 17, a few days to my first WAEC, I was reading in the living room when my mom walked in and falsely accused me of sleeping with my own Dad... Oh, I'm a guy btw. I'm not gay, neither am I effeminate.

She claimed she saw my Dad touching me and that he slept with me. I was stunned. I went through different ranges of emotions. At first, I wanted to curse her, then I wanted the ground to swallow me up for real, then I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to scream, tears just filled my eyes, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Why are you doing this?" and then she just walked out. I just sat there losing my mind, I knew it was untrue because there's no way you would penetrate a guy without him feeling it, right? Not to mention the fact that I have no memory of this ever happening. And yet she claimed she saw this happening, if that was true, why didn't she stop it?

Long story short, that was the day my life got turned upside down by my own Mom. The not so funny thing is, she never once brought up that issue again since then, and yet she never apologized for it (not that I'd ever forgive her anyway). Dad has no clue about this issue, by the way.

Indomie Generation...Na wao.
its a big proverb which means you are at your Dad's '' Beck and Call'' [Licking your papa's yansh ]
Firstly you should have asked her immediately but as you are someone who is shy and can't speak for yourself you keep this for a whole 9 years ruminate it in you little mind.

free yourself now and stop being a 'SIS'
Assuming you slept with your daddy, your mum won't say it directly to you like. it is an abominable act and she will have gone about it differently.

if you are nurturing gay thoughts at the time then that might spurt out guilts

Stay safe

Your mum is going gaga

really

Agba2020:
I've only told this to one person and I've been carrying this one for 9 years now.

This might turn out to be a little long, so bear with me. When I was 17, a few days to my first WAEC, I was reading in the living room when my mom walked in and falsely accused me of sleeping with my own Dad... Oh, I'm a guy btw. I'm not gay, neither am I effeminate.

She claimed she saw my Dad touching me and that he slept with me. I was stunned. I went through different ranges of emotions. At first, I wanted to curse her, then I wanted the ground to swallow me up for real, then I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to scream, tears just filled my eyes, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Why are you doing this?" and then she just walked out. I just sat there losing my mind, I knew it was untrue because there's no way you would penetrate a guy without him feeling it, right? Not to mention the fact that I have no memory of this ever happening. And yet she claimed she saw this happening, if that was true, why didn't she stop it?

Long story short, that was the day my life got turned upside down by my own Mom. The not so funny thing is, she never once brought up that issue again since then, and yet she never apologized for it (not that I'd ever forgive her anyway). Dad has no clue about this issue, by the way.

From your moniker (m) and your story...
ARE YOU A GAY?

What kind of story is this wan..Your life just got ruined cos ur Mum accused you of something you said you didnt do...How did your life get ruined exactly? Nawa

Agba2020:
Maybe "ruined my life" was a bit of an exagerration, that was mostly so people would check out the thread. It definitely ruined my relationship with not only her, but my Dad as well, because since she said what she said i just couldn't stand the sight of my own Dad anymore. There was a time not long after the accusation when he was talking to me and Dad tried touching me on my arm and i just freaked out, i almost jumped away. It might sound funny, but it really wasn't funny to him, he was just shocked and confused as hell, but i couldn't tell him coz i thought it would only destroy the family, so i just shouldered the burden. It didn't affect my sexuality, but it held me back academically and in life. I was isolated because i had no one to talk to.

Is your dad gay?

YOU ARE A NIGERIA AND THAT IS THE REASON YOUR MOM DID IT TO YOU. IT WAS ORGANISED WITH HER FROM HER COVEN TO DISORGANIZE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE IT IS NOT IN YOUR NATURE TO BE ONE OF THEM. DON'T WORRY ABOUT HER AND HER FAMILIAR SPIRITS. REJOICE THAT JESUS IS WITH YOU, BELIEVE and TRUST HIM so that your mother with her coven will know that she has failed. JUST LET HER SEE YOU JOICEFUL THEN YOU SHALL NOTICE THE SHAME AND HATRED FROM HER FACE. BUT BE CAREFUL AND DO NOT TURN ASIDE FROM FOLLOWING THE LORD FOR HER NOT TO WIN YOU.
MY MOTHER WAS WORST AND DID NOT WIN ME BECAUSE JESUS IS WITH ME.

Agba2020:
I appreciate your comment bro and while i do agree that moving on is the best course of action, it is really hard, extremely so. It's going on 10yrs now, and i still can't get it out of my head, and i'm tempted to just spill it out and maybe see if i might get unburdened. But it's like having a house with many doors, and there's that one door that you cannot dare open, because if you open it, one of two things could happen, things could somehow miraculously or magically get better (highly unlikely) or you could make things infinitely worse. And there's one thing i learned early in life, it's that no matter how bad things are, it could always get worse, much worse. Anyway, peace brother.

Bros, I've had a similar case with parents back then growing up. The best thing you can do for yourself is to spill it out. You'd see the huge relief that it would bring to your life. Till today, I'm extremely glad i spoke out. It ate me up real real bad.

Niggah you gay

Agba2020:
Maybe "ruined my life" was a bit of an exagerration, that was mostly so people would check out the thread. It definitely ruined my relationship with not only her, but my Dad as well, because since she said what she said i just couldn't stand the sight of my own Dad anymore. There was a time not long after the accusation when he was talking to me and Dad tried touching me on my arm and i just freaked out, i almost jumped away. It might sound funny, but it really wasn't funny to him, he was just shocked and confused as hell, but i couldn't tell him coz i thought it would only destroy the family, so i just shouldered the burden. It didn't affect my sexuality, but it held me back academically and in life. I was isolated because i had no one to talk to.

frozen70:


Your points are very valid

Just learn to forget and forgive her

Keeping it up till this time hurts you more

Worst is that she might have forgotten everything about it

So why nurse still nursing it and bearing more pains

She is your biological mum

Move everything behind pls and stop hurting yourself

The more you store people's provocations in your heart, the heavier it will be for you to carry

The next thing is frustration and depression

NoOne forgets this kind of stuff, Not even if youre the pope or the highest imam. Nobody can forget....its only when youre in their shoes you'd understand what I'm saying.

Agba2020:
I am. Born and bred. Why aren't you sure I'm from Nigeria, if you don't mind me asking.

The best thing to do is to ignore and try to forget about it and live your life.

I have a weirder mom. She says she hears voices telling her dark things mostly. Sometimes I feel like she is a witch. Whenever she starts speaking of what she claims to have heard or seen in a dream, I excuse her.

She had once told me that she saw that I would die after finishing school. I made serious trouble over it and warned her sternly because it destabilized me. With time, I have learnt to live with her by not taking what she says serious.

Very fetish, she can start saying all sort of things sometimes. But ever since I clashed with her and warned her with threatening her life to never involve me when saying her things, she has stopped referring to me.

Ur mom needs serious spiritual rejuvenation

please wat do you want nairalanders to do to this issue. Then, how does that word ruined yiur life.

ur mom needs serious spiritual rejuvenation

I don't even understand this lil nigga.

Nigga are you tryin' to say that your mom's wrongful accusation made you gay or what?

Damn!

If that's really the case, then I must say that the woman really really merked you!

Gaddem!

VBCampaign:


I noticed that the only two topics on your profile has to do with this subject. You had tried to raise the matter in the first topic but fortunately this one made the front page.

If this thing has been eating you up inside for ten years, I think it is time you either spill the matter to your family and find healing. Or, you see a professional psychologists who can advise you appropriately. I do not see the comments on Nairaland helping you here. And the earlier you deal with this the better before it leads to suicide thoughts.

But if it will help you, let me tell you a few things I know about women having been married to one for over ten years now.

1. [s]Most women say things they do not mean. And being your mother, and not having brought this up since she said it, might mean that she has realized that she is wrong and will not apologise to you out of pride. You could meet her privately and tell her your hurt and ask her to apologize. It may help her.

2. Most women are rabidly jelous. I cannot count the number of times my own wife has accused me of different things. She just cannot fanthom the idea of sharing me with anyone. I have never been unfaithful to her and yet she is never ending with her accusations. I just take solace in the fact that my hands are clean.

3. I am a Christian minister and counselor and I trace every challenge in our lives to one subject: sin. It is actually not the sin of your mother's; she has hers to bear. I am talking about your own sin. If you would be sincere with yourself, you would realize that an over preoccupation with yourself has festered this wound in your heart. It is also the root of unforgiveness; which you have refused to lend your mum. The solution is a living relation with God through Christ.

When you realize that you are a sinner and you find forgiveness with God, you would not find it difficult to forgive your mother - who has obviously sinned against you. It all begins from there: forgiveness. And the real challenge is this: your parent's lives are ending, while yours is just beginning. You don't want to begin your life with this baggage.

If you need more counsel, please reach me on newdejix@gmail.com. I would be willing to share God's word with you more deeply[/s]; even as a pray for you that God will heal your heart.

Amen.

After the first three paragraphs, your post lost “it”

[quote author=Agba2020 [/quote]

Coming out like this (even in a faceless forum) is a sign that you are yearning for help and you should seek help. At this point I suggest you seek professional (Psychologist or other mental health professionals) help if you can afford it.

If you can't, contact MentallyAwareNG (MANI) on twitter or IG for pro bono counselling. There are other organisations if you research.


Nobody deserves to be treated that way... That's an abusive and cruel thing to do to anyone. You deserve to be listened to. So, get help.

.

Also... do not listen to most of the people here. Most of them are just frustrated and lack direction... So, posts like these are media for them to display their shallowness... they need therapy themselves because exhibiting this level of insensitivity and vileness is a need for concern.


Be fine.

Agba2020:
I appreciate your comment bro and while i do agree that moving on is the best course of action, it is really hard, extremely so. It's going on 10yrs now, and i still can't get it out of my head, and i'm tempted to just spill it out and maybe see if i might get unburdened. But it's like having a house with many doors, and there's that one door that you cannot dare open, because if you open it, one of two things could happen, things could somehow miraculously or magically get better (highly unlikely) or you could make things infinitely worse. And there's one thing i learned early in life, it's that no matter how bad things are, it could always get worse, much worse. Anyway, peace brother.

Bro I understand you, this is really painful things like this can destroy someone completely i mean it can lead someone into some deep shit life style just to forget it, but bro telling your popsy is a wrong move if you ask me, go to your mama let her know how badly this has cost you if possible go through your family pastor your mom is the one to do the job not your father. Blessed be