SILVERLINES:
fucck you with Ur dull brain

Dull brain?! lol, n!gga go and hug something.

Ghostmode2two:


Why didn't tell your dad and how did this ruin your life? Don't tell me after mama accused you, you went into gay things or you failed your WAEC? Come of the closet!

Like i stated in my first post, it happened a few days before my first WAEC exam, so yeah, i failed... for 7 years straight. I couldn't concentrate on anything and it felt like i was sleepwalking through my own life. Also, it didn't make me gay, it just bleeped up my brain.

grandstar:


Is your dad gay?

Not to my knowledge.

My dad said something similar about my brother and sister which was completely false.

People get fustrated in life and atimes take it out on their children. Just like your case, my dad never mentioned it again.

See it that she was temporarily insane, put it behind you and move on.

heendrix:
Indomie build up

so she accused you wrongly and ever since then your life spoilt? let it continue spoiling na. mtcheww

sha keep us updated to the monthly level to which it's spoiling

No see am like that
Some many years ago
My mum accused me of trying to rape my sister
Something that never happened
From then till now, I still have some form of dislike towards my sister
It's not easy
And I am not an indomie child o

jayloms:

Some parents can be manipulative. Is your dad a faithful spouse to your mum? Mothers tend to get at their husbands on matters bordering on infidelity or welfare, through their children especially when the children are close to the father. I'm sure you were pretty close to your Dad before the incident; and I don't need to ask how your relationship with him is at the moment.

Wow you're very perceptive and you are absolutely right. My Dad and I were close prior to the incident and he used to cheat on her... a lot. Tiri gbosa for you.

Martinez39s:
You need to stop this nonsense. When next you see your father, give him a good handshake, and thank him for his efforts in providing for the family and seeing that you are alright. Don't let the foolishness of your mama put a psychological wall between you and your dad. Your dad doesn't deserve all this nonsense after all his labour. Sit up Jare!

You are too weak and fragile for a man.

Lol at weak and fragile. So you think you have a clue the kind of person I am because I decided to spill my heart out about the worst mental abuse I've ever suffered this one time on a faceless. Come to think of it, I don't think anyone's ever defined me as weak and fragile, not even on my worst day, in fact people find me highly unusual due to the high amount of threshold I have for both mental and physical pain. I find your comment slightly humorous, but let's be guided.

seguno2:


Excellent advice.
I wonder what stops most of us from using the services of psychotherapists, given the many scientifically proven advantages of doing so.
Can it be that we are too religious

Religion and ignorance.

It's also important you know how competent the therapist is.

Your mum from the figment of her own imagination falsely accused you of sleeping with your dad. That's strange enough to warrant further questioning. Is your mum the weird type. How is her habit? Does she drink. What does the relationship between you and your mother look like before the incident? Hostile? Uncaring? Indifferent? How is her relationship with your dad?

If all this question yield no negative result and it is true your mother never bring it up again while you are still troubled, I think the wise thing to do is to ask your mum, one more time, why she acted that way. If she maintain her claim, then tell her to confront your dad with it.. You can also share the experience with your dad if your mum fail to do that.

Dpharisee:

I hope he won't go and drink sniper, these indomites are so weak minded that you constantly fear for them

If i didn't commit suicide back then, i'm certainly not going to do it now. But for someone who isn't an "indomite" you certainly lack wisdom, understanding and sensitivity. I'd expect more from these nigg@s claiming old age.

morris477:
Your mother cannot just accused you like that, there is no smoke without �

And yet, she did.

Martinez39s:
You should have handled the situation like a man. If my mum accused me of such, I will simply say "I never did such" and continue what I am doing. If she insists, that's her problem. If she demands for answers, I maintain my response and move on. I can even report to my dad if her unnecessary wahala is becoming too much. As simple as that. Life is not hard.

This is why I always encourage men to drill their children, especially boys, in having a tough skin. Just for an accusation, you are crying, upset and saying your life has been destroyed. You no try, you fall my hand. Words/opinions cannot hurt you except you want them to. So if a girl accuse you of rape, you will hang yourself or fall from third mainland bridge?

I'm not even sure what to say to ignorant & idiotic comment... talking 'bout tough skin. If you've gone through half the shit I've gone through, you'd probably be in a vegetative state right now. People like you don't really surprise me anymore... with your big mouth and lack of substance.

Karlifate:
This is what you should have posted initially.

Please work on your emotions as a man. The world we are now is not for emotionally weak people because you won't go far.

I'm curious, what part of the narrative makes me come across as weak? I'd really like to know.

Agba2020:
Maybe "ruined my life" was a bit of an exagerration, that was mostly so people would check out the thread. It definitely ruined my relationship with not only her, but my Dad as well, because since she said what she said i just couldn't stand the sight of my own Dad anymore. There was a time not long after the accusation when he was talking to me and Dad tried touching me on my arm and i just freaked out, i almost jumped away. It might sound funny, but it really wasn't funny to him, he was just shocked and confused as hell, but i couldn't tell him coz i thought it would only destroy the family, so i just shouldered the burden. It didn't affect my sexuality, but it held me back academically and in life. I was isolated because i had no one to talk to.

So sorry. May God heal you

abah001:
foolish story

I grew up in the streets, you fo0ol.

Agba2020:
I've only told this to one person and I've been carrying this one for 9 years now.

This might turn out to be a little long, so bear with me. When I was 17, a few days to my first WAEC, I was reading in the living room when my mom walked in and falsely accused me of sleeping with my own Dad... Oh, I'm a guy btw. I'm not gay, neither am I effeminate.

She claimed she saw my Dad touching me and that he slept with me. I was stunned. I went through different ranges of emotions. At first, I wanted to curse her, then I wanted the ground to swallow me up for real, then I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to scream, tears just filled my eyes, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Why are you doing this?" and then she just walked out. I just sat there losing my mind, I knew it was untrue because there's no way you would penetrate a guy without him feeling it, right? Not to mention the fact that I have no memory of this ever happening. And yet she claimed she saw this happening, if that was true, why didn't she stop it?

Long story short, that was the day my life got turned upside down by my own Mom. The not so funny thing is, she never once brought up that issue again since then, and yet she never apologized for it (not that I'd ever forgive her anyway). Dad has no clue about this issue, by the way.

It is either you lack the skills of writting, you're trying to give fiction or you don't know what ruining of life means. Either way, you just ended up bringing your mum to Nairaland to be insulted

merahki:
I can’t wrap my head round the fact that your mother continued staying married to the man that she saw sodomising their/her own child.
This is arguably the most tragic part of the story, that rather than confronting her fellow oath taker she chose to attack an innocent. The only thing worse than this folly of hers would be the act itself (your father having carnal knowledge of you), if it really happened.
I exonerate you from it all since you were a child and know you are not into incest.

Honestly you may not heal properly if you don’t talk about this with them. Your father deserves to know about this too and clear his name if innocent. Your mother has some work to do. Both in terms of accusing your father to his face and in explaining her self if what she said never happened.
As I see it, your family is very and truly broken, and silence would not make things any better.

Where do your other siblings fit in this dynamic?Are you sure it wasn’t a nightmare that you had?
Then to look at it in another light, if the horror really did happen, what if maybe you have repressed the traumatic memory?
My heart goes out to you any way one looks at this story. I hope you find healing. God bless you.

OMG thanks for stating the bolded. You don't know how many times I've thought that myself. Why stay with a man who would do that to your kid? Why not stop it when it was happening, since you claimed you saw it? I guess ,y own mistake was that i thought i could move on from it, but as time passed, it became much harder for me to even bring it up.

heendrix:
Indomie build up

so she accused you wrongly and ever since then your life spoilt? let it continue spoiling na. mtcheww

sha keep us updated to the monthly level to which it's spoiling

Haba , mad o

A young boy's mental fabric was ripped at an early age by the very one who he's supposed to find security with and some bunch of idiots and nonentities dim it fit to say balderdash out of their profound foolishness. They fail to realize their condition, made obvious by means of their words is way worse than the OP's.

I understand your plights tho, you probably know zilch about human life.....

To the OP, find your peace in what was written in the Book; "......forgive them(her) for they(she) know not what they(she) do(did)".

Don't be surprised if you tried explaining the implications of what she did to her and she remains unapologetic, ours is a culture that prides its self so much on PRIDE(ego). Know very well that what she/anyone says does not define you but what the God in you says, this is liberation.....th very salvation that many seek.

Peace I leave with you brother, love and eternal light.

-Lloyd

merahki:
I can’t wrap my head round the fact that your mother continued staying married to the man that she saw sodomising their/her own child.
This is arguably the most tragic part of the story, that rather than confronting her fellow oath taker she chose to attack an innocent. The only thing worse than this folly of hers would be the act itself (your father having carnal knowledge of you), if it really happened.
I exonerate you from it all since you were a child and know you are not into incest.

Honestly you may not heal properly if you don’t talk about this with them. Your father deserves to know about this too and clear his name if innocent. Your mother has some work to do. Both in terms of accusing your father to his face and in explaining her self if what she said never happened.
As I see it, your family is very and truly broken, and silence would not make things any better.

Where do your other siblings fit in this dynamic?Are you sure it wasn’t a nightmare that you had?
Then to look at it in another light, if the horror really did happen, what if maybe you have repressed the traumatic memory?
My heart goes out to you any way one looks at this story. I hope you find healing. God bless you.

OMG thanks for stating the bolded. You don't know how many times I've thought that myself. Why stay with a man who would do that to your kid? Why not stop it when it was happening, since you claimed you saw it? I guess my own mistake was thinking that i could move on from it, but as time passed, it became much harder for me to even bring it up. My siblings live in different cities. I don't think she told my bro about it, but she called my sister who then called me. I told my sis that what mom accused me of wasn't true, my sis tried to be supportive towards me, but i could tell that she didn't really believe that i didn't know anything, and that was when i realized that i was truly alone because my sis was the one who always had my back. It wasn't a nightmare, but i wish it was. Repressed memory? You don't know how many times I've considered that possibility. While she was making her accusations, i was deep inside my own mind thinking "Why would i ever do something like with Dad, am i mad?" "No, is she mad?" "I would never do that!" And then i started doubting myself and started thinking "Maybe it happened and i repressed it." But even if that were the case, wouldn't I have felt that pain in my asshole... or something. But i didn't feel any body pains, I'd never felt any body pains and that's how I knew it wasn't a case of repressed memory. I thank you for your insightful comment, and God bless you too.

koolaid87:



Silence is golden. You don't have to add to his misery by altering that nonsense.

We are not built the same.

@Op, find a therapist and explain your situation. Most folks on nairaland are dumbass. They're not sensitive to emotional abuse. If it's not physical then it's not an abuse to them.

Peace

Thanks.

Cleanworld:




Indomie Generation...Na wao.
its a big proverb which means you are at your Dad's '' Beck and Call'' [Licking your papa's yansh ]
Firstly you should have asked her immediately but as you are someone who is shy and can't speak for yourself you keep this for a whole 9 years ruminate it in you little mind.

free yourself now and stop being a 'SIS'
[s]Assuming you slept with your daddy, your mum won't say it directly to you like. it is an abominable act and she will have gone about it differently.[/s]

if you are nurturing gay thoughts at the time then that might spurt out guilts

Stay safe

There are certain situations or events that we can't possibly fathom unless we experience them ourselves.

[quote author=graciousolo post=91250297][/quote] I appreciate you, thanks.

Temidayo9:

Suicide? Children of nowadays way of thinking. What if he was wrongly accused by stranger, what would he now do?

I think it would have been better if I had been accused by a stranger.

Reex12:
lol..shit mehn nw dats fu.cked up bt dnt tke it to heart or its gonna weigh u dwn bro also I hope say u no turn bobrisky

Lol. No, i definitely did not turn into a Bobrisky.

Janeberryy:
How did it ruin your life? Or it ruined your relationship with her?

Don't tell me that affected your whole life, like affected your sexuality or your success?

Op is not telling us the whole truth. I think � after her mom accused him, he came to realise what it is and boom he is a gay

Agba2020:

Lol at weak and fragile. So you think you have a clue the kind of person I am because I decided to spill my heart out about the worst mental abuse I've ever suffered this one time on a faceless. Come to think of it, I don't think anyone's ever defined me as weak and fragile, not even on my worst day, in fact people find me highly unusual due to the high amount of threshold I have for both mental and physical pain. I find your comment slightly humorous, but let's be guided.

Agba2020:

I'm not even sure what to say to ignorant & idiotic comment... talking 'bout tough skin. If you've gone through half the shit I've gone through, you'd probably be in a vegetative state right now. People like you don't really surprise me anymore... with your big mouth and lack of substance.

We can agree to disagree. Like most parents, your parents, especially your father, didn't drill you in having a tough skin. You are overly emotional and fragile as far as this issue is concerned.

If you don't like what I have said, no problem; feel free to wallow in your misery and depression (and self pity, perhaps) brought about by the foolish accusation of your mother. If that's not enough, allow the foolishness of your mother to ruin your life completely, and after that, top it up with sniper or fall from third mainland bridge. After all, the sky won't fall when you are gone, and the world will move on. It's harsh of me, but I won't pamper you like others. You must be tough like a real man. Mtewww.

As I have said, words cannot hurt you except you let them. You can decide to move on and live a well-rounded and productive life, or keep wallowing in your misery and depression, and let your mother's foolishness ruin your life. Your mother's opinion on whether your father molested you or not is of no relevance to you, and it shouldn't ruin your life. Her unwarranted behaviour is something you should brush under the carpet as one of her foolish acts in life (we all have foolish acts).

If you let someone's foolish words/opinions ruin your life, it's your fault. In life, no cares what ruined your life; if you end up useless, it will all fall back on you. WEAK AND FRAGILE MAN. Good day.

Agba2020:
I've only told this to one person and I've been carrying this one for 9 years now.

This might turn out to be a little long, so bear with me. When I was 17, a few days to my first WAEC, I was reading in the living room when my mom walked in and falsely accused me of sleeping with my own Dad... Oh, I'm a guy btw. I'm not gay, neither am I effeminate.

She claimed she saw my Dad touching me and that he slept with me. I was stunned. I went through different ranges of emotions. At first, I wanted to curse her, then I wanted the ground to swallow me up for real, then I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to scream, tears just filled my eyes, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Why are you doing this?" and then she just walked out. I just sat there losing my mind, I knew it was untrue because there's no way you would penetrate a guy without him feeling it, right? Not to mention the fact that I have no memory of this ever happening. And yet she claimed she saw this happening, if that was true, why didn't she stop it?

Long story short, that was the day my life got turned upside down by my own Mom. The not so funny thing is, she never once brought up that issue again since then, and yet she never apologized for it (not that I'd ever forgive her anyway). Dad has no clue about this issue, by the way.

I can see that you are taking too many grievances to heart. This is something that you can just overlook and let go. Imagine pondering over this for 9 years.

You won't live a happy life if you keep taking peoples comments seriously.

mrsheddy:


Op is not telling us the whole truth. I think � after her mom accused him, he came to realise what it is and boom he is a gay

Lool funny you.

Tillatalk:
emotional abuse ruin people imagine someone accused you wrongly of what you don't know about and everyone around believe it ..

Yea but I don't expect I'm to still be holding inbtobtgat only if it's constant.

It was a one time thing. Even if it's constant he should have left na and take care of himself

Agba2020:
Eeyah sorry o, mommy's boy. It's quite obvious you know not the kind of weight that words carry, especially when those words come from the person that's supposed to be your shield from the world. I hope ur children never have to go through the kind of mental anguish i've had to go through. Be well.

You need to sit your mama down in private and make sure she tells you exactly what's wrong.

Is either of you a somnambulist?

Was she aware of what she said?

Instead of keeping stuff inside that will explode, talk about this with her to the point of numbness where you don't feel the pain anymore.

By the way, without meaning any disrespect to your mom, does your mom have any mental/psychiatric issues that hasn't been dealt with?

Dear op, I'm really sorry about this burden. Your mother may not remember saying that. She has or have had psychological problems that no one may have known in your family. Just go straight to her one day in private. Ask her why she say that to you and the burden it has left in your heart. She may have accused others too, of other things.