Jkyoung:
I type this with tears in my eyes. I decided to share say this here because if I need somebody to hear my voice, as I approach my end.
If I write this on Facebook, family and friends will see it and panic will set in, I don't want that. Devoid of our differences, Nairaland is also family to me.
The choices I made in life are mine, but the forces at work are overwhelming. I was weak to their manipulations.
All I ever wanted was to be an Engineer, to make mama proud and take care of my siblings.
Believe me I have Love in my heart. I wanted to just be a better version of myself but nothing seems to work.
When it seems like I am making a little progress, my desires are there to remind me that I am only but a prisoner.
It appears to me that I was created a failure. I failed my family once again, myself, Society and God almighty.
Now I am not afraid of death, I am only sad as I picture the face of Mama, Papa, Brothers and sisters crying while I lay motionless oblivious of everything( I know I will surely hear their wailing from the other side)
I don't want to be judged, but that isn't really my choice to make.
The next 3 weeks will be very crucial to my existence, if I survive it, then I will know that I will grow old and reach 95( I have always told anyone that cares to listen that I will live to 95).
I know they are not reading this now, and nobody that knows me personally is; I just want to tell mom that I love her. To dad; All I wanted was to make him proud. To my brothers and lovely sisters: I love you guys, take care of mom and dad and succeed where I have failed.
To my Nairaland family, God bless you all. I will miss the Afonja's, Igbos, Nyamiris, Brown roofs, red mud, Arewa's(do they even have any special insulting name like the rest of us?)Lala and his snakes, the feminists( feminists are wonderful people, thank God they don't breed well). Lol

I sincerely pray I survive this. Precious Blood of Jesus Christ, Save Us and the whole world.

Sorry I brought your post here.... I just feel you have to let people people know what the problem is so we can find a solution together. This world would be a better place if humans work together for good.

Op wait u cnt waste ur self like dt,lets chat...ASAP pls so many good things around

OP relax, its just a phase. we all go through it, when it feels like you can't go on, you feel like this is the end, you feel like "Its You Against the World (nuff respect to Tupac).
you have to keep pushing, you have to fight back, keep on keeping on, someday, just someday you will smile and thank God you didn't quit