ollins:
Let me cut the story short. Had a fling with this girl, along the line she got pregnant. You know all that talk of "if you could sleep with her, then you must marry her" "if you got her pregnant then you must marry her", Iooking back now, I wished I hadn't listened to all those voices.
I knew in my heart that I didn't love her, even she knew but the pressure from the family was too much, I had to marry her. On my marriage day I was practically crying within me.
Her character is just opposite of all I wanted in a woman, she's barely educated, loud and loquacious.
That's my cross I am carrying today, stuck in a loveless marriage.
The warmth and Romance is absent from our home, we have not had intimacy since beginning of the year till now, we just have no interest anymore in each other. We are just living together for the sake of our child.
My question now is how does one cope�? Is this how I am going to live the rest of my life?

gudvibz:
Try and get to know her, try understanding her and get all to her. Both of u need to sit down and talk about you (both) and ur likes and dislikes, virtually about everything, if nothing changes well separation or u bear it till the end.

You know love is grown

bukatyne:


Brother Ollins,

If this lady is as terrible as this, how were you able to get an erection to stick it into her?

How did you start the toasting to get her into your bed and arms?

The same magic you worked to get her pregnant, use it again.

It is in you like peak!

ollins:
Let me cut the story short. Had a fling with this girl, along the line she got pregnant. You know all that talk of "if you could sleep with her, then you must marry her" "if you got her pregnant then you must marry her", Iooking back now, I wished I hadn't listened to all those voices.
I knew in my heart that I didn't love her, even she knew but the pressure from the family was too much, I had to marry her. On my marriage day I was practically crying within me.
Her character is just opposite of all I wanted in a woman, she's barely educated, loud and loquacious.
That's my cross I am carrying today, stuck in a loveless marriage.
The warmth and Romance is absent from our home, we have not had intimacy since beginning of the year till now, we just have no interest anymore in each other. We are just living together for the sake of our child.
My question now is how does one cope�? Is this how I am going to live the rest of my life?

ollins:
Let me cut the story short. Had a fling with this girl, along the line she got pregnant. You know all that talk of "if you could sleep with her, then you must marry her" "if you got her pregnant then you must marry her", Iooking back now, I wished I hadn't listened to all those voices.
I knew in my heart that I didn't love her, even she knew but the pressure from the family was too much, I had to marry her. On my marriage day I was practically crying within me.
Her character is just opposite of all I wanted in a woman, she's barely educated, loud and loquacious.
That's my cross I am carrying today, stuck in a loveless marriage.
The warmth and Romance is absent from our home, we have not had intimacy since beginning of the year till now, we just have no interest anymore in each other. We are just living together for the sake of our child.
My question now is how does one cope�? Is this how I am going to live the rest of my life?

bukatyne:


Brother Ollins,

If this lady is as terrible as this, how were you able to get an erection to stick it into her?

How did you start the toasting to get her into your bed and arms?

The same magic you worked to get her pregnant, use it again.

It is in you like peak!

gudvibz:
Try and get to know her, try understanding her and get all to her. Both of u need to sit down and talk about you (both) and ur likes and dislikes, virtually about everything, if nothing changes well separation or u bear it till the end.

You know love is grown

judedwriter:
No one is totally unlovable. It just takes a lot of time to truly love someone... I mean a lot of time to communicate and try to understand your partner. Be best friends for a long stretch of time... Love will eventually come in.

But if you have a deeper love for God, it won't be difficult to really appreciate your partner, even you aren't linked romantically.

GodShowmemercy:
Start wooing her again

veave:
You mustn't stay married to anyone you're not in love with. It is still early to set her free, set yourself free as well for your sound mind. If you stay there, both of you will live in frustration and I bet you don't want to build a home in disarray.
Initially she would cry and lament but trust me she'd get someone else to love her properly and so would you.
No one is coming to this world twice, this one you're sure of, yank off any and everything that would cause you discomfort. You don't want to wake up one day in your 50s or 70s full of regrets and what ifs.

bukatyne:


Brother Ollins,

If this lady is as terrible as this, how were you able to get an erection to stick it into her?

How did you start the toasting to get her into your bed and arms?

The same magic you worked to get her pregnant, use it again.

It is in you like peak!

etrange:


<deviation>
I also know the talk of "skin-to-skin dey sweet pass", "condom is for boys", "real man go raw and withdraw", etc. Maybe those are what you shouldn't have listened to. If, when looking back, the major mistake you see and regret is getting married to her, then you need to think some more because getting married to her (though avoidable) was a only a consequence of a bigger mistake. The deed has been done, selective regretting can gain you Nairaland sympathy but that won't change a thing in your life. So don't just say you regret getting married to her (that makes it look like she is the protagonist), regret going in raw (a mistake you both made).
</deviation>

Sorry for that deviation, I had to let it out.

Now, I'm not an advocate of sticking to marriage if both parties are not happy, it makes zero sense and it could turn violent easily. Having separated parents is much better for the kids than a violent home. If you guys aren't happy together, I'll advise you go your ways to avoid stories. You have to understand this could result to you not participating actively in your baby's upbringing; a price you pay for your freedom. We just can't have it all.

If she's happy and contented in the marriage, it gets more complicated. Kicking out a woman who is happily married to you with your kid is not an option. True you can't easily cultivate love and you can't find what was never there but if what you don't like is her classlessness and not that she's always nagging, overspending and/or any such vices, then you could still make a friend of her. The so-called passionate love burns out after some years, friendship is what keeps couples going afterwards. If you make her your friend, at least, and she begins to understand you want her well-being, it will be easier to communicate the changes you want to see. Communication is key.

I know my take might not mean much cause it's a very difficult situation but the summary of what I'm saying is, don't be selfish in whatever decision you take, consider the other two parties involved.

Best of luck!

veave:
You mustn't stay married to anyone you're not in love with. It is still early to set her free, set yourself free as well for your sound mind. If you stay there, both of you will live in frustration and I bet you don't want to build a home in disarray.
Initially she would cry and lament but trust me she'd get someone else to love her properly and so would you.
No one is coming to this world twice, this one you're sure of, yank off any and everything that would cause you discomfort. You don't want to wake up one day in your 50s or 70s full of regrets and what ifs.

Please make sure to maintain civility while at it.
Thanks.

Righteousness89:
As Llong as you have Mmarried her, Sshe is your wife...

As for Llove, open up yourself and your Ffamily to God... As you two begin to Llove God, His Llove will begin to reignite Llove in your Hhome..

The Mmore you two connect together to God in prayers and in his word, Baba will sort you two out..

ollins:
How? Can you explain this to me in depth please ?