bukatyne:


Maybe she has the money na.

Her options were staying married and having a concubine or divorcing him because she is 'young'.

On a second thought, maybe with a lot of money, she would have considered more expensive/extensive therapy and care.

The family's reluctance to help monetarily (which is the easier of the burden) is strange.

God help the woman, it is a lot of burden.

I don't know their full story so I refrain from commenting on the issue but taking care of somebody with spinal chord injury is no beans at all. I feel for both of them. It can be frustrating.

She should explain his situation better to see if they can get help.

bukatyne:


Amen.

A friend once said that caring for longtime sick/injured spouses is the worst marital challenge to her.

She had a cousin whose husband abandoned in the hospital after a terrible accident.

It's not easy at all.

LadySarah:


And she recently died

Poor woman. I pray God will help me and all other ladies who say Amen with this marriage matter. Lord help us

Acidosis:


Well, she's bad in my own book. I would not imagine abandoning a family after 2 years of incapacitation. Doing so would make me a bad person.

But I get your point. Even girlfriends that abandon their boyfriends 1 month after a job loss don't always feel bad. They have an excuse for any decision.

LOL. Such is life. Human love is conditional, as you may already know. So, it is best you adapt to that notion and move on without holding grudges to what people chose to do, for starters, by not calling another human useless for a choice she made by reasons best known to her.

In your first paragraph, as I reiterated in the former mention, it is easier said than done. We shall never know how the shoes will hurt until they really hurt.

cococandy:
I don’t know how real this story is because a man posted it but it actually made me ask myself a question.
Do we have long term care facilities or skilled nursing facilities in Nigeria? That’s something I don’t remember coming across but does anyone know?

@thorpido, merahki etc
I’m very interested to know. Thank you.

Long term care facilities don't exist in Nigeria.Just short term ICU stay and then the patient is discharged to be nursed at home.
There are organisations that provide skilled nursing care but they are home based.Their personnel are sent home to nurse people in their homes.

Acidosis:


May be you should leave the thread to those who know what they would do; those who have the mind to state what they would do.

like you? Right?

And for the sake of clarity, we are to understand that you will stay celibate for the rest of your life?

CC bukatyne talking about American Christians in response to acidosis’ post to me rather than address me directly.
Neither did you state what you would do.

Acidosis:


I wonder how they sleep at night knowing very well they never have any reasonable or logical answer to an issue. They're neither here nor there.

@ Neither here or there:

It takes courage and strength of character to take a stand whether it is popular or not once you are convinced it is the best decision for you and consistent.

I just started understanding that 'friendship with the world is enmity with Christ' after that.

Once can't choose God and mammon.

That's one thing I admire about Muslims: the average professing Muslim wants to stand out for Allah and not blend in to play both sides. Jehovah witnesses also hold a candle in that aspect.

Apparently since this thread is now about you and acidosis’s perfect relationship with Christ, we are waiting to actually see you state what you would do.

Except for stating how hard it must obviously be for her, you have managed to not tell the forum what you do about sex in this situation. Only to ride on his post to talk about less than perfect Christians

Since it’s no longer about advising the OP but about making a religious stand.Go for it.

bukatyne:


@ Neither here or there:

It takes courage and strength of character to take a stand whether it is popular or not once you are convinced it is the best decision for you and consistent.

I just started understanding that 'friendship with the world is enmity with Christ' after that.

Once can't choose God and mammon.

That's one thing I admire about Muslims: the average professing Muslim wants to stand out for Allah and not blend in to play both sides. Jehovah witnesses also hold a candle in that aspect.

The irony of this whole argument is, in reality, there are way more women doing this. There are so many women with paralyzed husbands and all.

Turn the table... The second you as a woman suffers any illness that makes you unable to function- e no go pass 1mth, you are back to your parents house.

Whatever the woman wants to do is up to her. 99% of Nigerian men won’t do same.

One thing I do know is I will never wish even my worst enemy to be in that situation.

Theory is always different from practical, its easier to say this and that but in reality its not always so.

I don't even understand how she will be the breadwinner ( working full time) and caring for the husband fulltime.






And this thread is going haywire again......

The Lord is your strength woman! leaving the marriage isn't a good idea... Remember, for better or worse.

pocohantas:
The irony of this whole argument is, in reality, there are way more women doing this. There are so many women with paralyzed husbands and all.

Turn the table... The second you as a woman suffers any illness that makes you unable to function- e no go pass 1mth, you are back to your parents house.

Whatever the woman wants to do is up to her. 99% of Nigerian men won’t do same.

My Woke-C sista (aka ogunboy) has come again with her usual "opinion (derision)" which she's entitled to but other people aren't entitled to theirs once they express it by calling her out for her bullshit.

One of the people who hates campaign of calumny and sarcasm but dishes them out to others without an iota of humaneness. One among the many who believes that graciously indulging their nonsense means they're powerful and feared. Henceforth learn to express your opinion within the confines of decorum, else you won't enjoy the privilege of eating your cake and having it. Don't give me reason to hate you.

Before you start explaining away yourself on how you aren't a practicing Christian when I haven't inferred and assumed same, even when you knew that I know better, like you slyly did the other time, know that crassness and expediency are what made you a member of Woke-C, not your religious affiliation or otherwise of it. Stop being toxic, so that you can know true peace and happiness.

I must help make you a better person, whether you like it or not.

Carchoice:
Sad story.

Women with all the shakara. It is when your penls stop functioning you’ll find out they always want sex and if they don’t get it, they might die

Looool... Mad o

pocohantas:
The irony of this whole argument is, in reality, there are way more women doing this. There are so many women with paralyzed husbands and all.

Turn the table... The second you as a woman suffers any illness that makes you unable to function- e no go pass 1mth, you are back to your parents house.

Whatever the woman wants to do is up to her. 99% of Nigerian men won’t do same.

very correct , the Mum of a friend of mine had mental issues recently , her husband just took her back to the village saying she was cheating blah blah blah, didn’t even take her to the hospital, he only took her to native doctors ,, last last the woman’s senior sister came around and took her to the hospital, she’s doing better n back with her husband. Just imagine reverse was the case.

The same happened to a relative of mine ,, u know that mental illness that comes with child birth , she was returned to the family. Till she got better and returned to her husband . No financial help , nothing .. madam still went back o

Liliantalks:
very correct , the Mum of a friend of mine had mental issues recently , her husband just took her back to the village saying she was cheating blah blah blah, didn’t even take her to the hospital, he only took her to native doctors ,, last last the woman’s senior sister came around and took her to the hospital, she’s doing better n back with her husband. Just imagine reverse was the case.

The same happened to a relative of mine ,, u know that mental illness that comes with child birth , she was returned to the family. Till she got better and returned to her husband . No financial help , nothing .. madam still went back o

I don’t know why they are fighting it and getting triggered. We see this thing happen everyday. They don’t even waste time, they will ship the woman back to her parents or siblings. There are way too many of such cases, the few exceptions are dismissed.

The man’s family are not even helping and they all overlooked that. Toor!

LordKO:

. Don't give me reason to hate you.

This is the only thing I will address in your whole diatribe. Don’t overhype yourself. You will just join the many and I honestly won’t give a fck.

pocohantas:


This is the only thing I will address in your whole diatribe. Don’t overhype yourself. You will just join the many and I honestly won’t give a fck.

LOL, you know whenever I see you trying so hard . . . I just de laugh as usual. Once more, eschew the habit of always exercising your liberty on the periphery of decorum for your own good. I know you can overcome it if you can give up . . . things.

Na ma good sister you still be. Stay safe before I whozz you e-slap.

LordKO:


LOL, you know whenever I see you trying so hard . . . I just de laugh as usual. Once more, eschew the habit of always exercising your liberty on the periphery of decorum for your own good. I know you can overcome it if you can give up . . .
things.

Na ma good sister you still be. Stay safe before I whozz you e-slap.

More incoherence...

pocohantas:


More incoherence...

As in.... The guy types too many jargons. Apparently, he is still hurt from the last conversation u guys had on here. U shut am up well well.

cococandy:
That one pinches because it’s the truth. We always find you moralists when we are talking about women and sex.

LMAO

100%

Imagine someone jumping on this thread preaching Christianity where someone called a woman in an extremely difficult situation useless to go on and claim that to be Christian is to live 'in enmity with the world'. Is there a second Christ than the one I was taught about? You can't make this stuff up.

Lucyspa:




As in.... The guy types too many jargons. Apparently, he is still hurt from the last conversation u guys had on here. U shut am up well well.

Mumu. She knows that I intentionally indulged her. Follow-follow will kill most of you.

Poco na ma good sista, so we go settle las las. Hey! Direct your further mention to the bumpkins that brought you into this world because I don't automatically give attention to everyone.

Hathor5:


LMAO

100%

Imagine someone jumping on this thread preaching Christianity where someone called a woman in an extremely difficult situation useless to go on and claim that to be Christian is to live 'in enmity with the world'. Is there a second Christ than the one I was taught about? You can't make this stuff up.

The Christ you were taught permits adultery. The Christ you were taught says you should enjoy marriage only when the weather is good and filled with milk and honey (horn. .y). The Christ you were taught did not use stronger words for an adulterous woman. The word "useless" is giving y'all sleepless nights and days ... a goal well achieved.

Acidosis:


The Christ you were taught permits adultery ultimately. The Christ you were taught says you should enjoy marriage only when the weather is good and filled with milk and honey (Hot).

The Christ I know helped people in need, sinners or not, instead of calling them names Mr Moralist.
Those without sin throw the first stone.
Go and read your Bible again.
Not only Apostle Paul's writings please.
Thank me later.

Hathor5:


LMAO

100%

Imagine someone jumping on this thread preaching Christianity where someone called a woman in an extremely difficult situation useless to go on and claim that to be Christian is to live 'in enmity with the world'. Is there a second Christ than the one I was taught about? You can't make this stuff up.

Is my hypothetical decision if I were to hypothetically find myself in her shoes actually going to do anything to help her in her current situation? The most realistic thing I can tell her is that I won’t judge her and I won’t. (If anyone doesn’t like me saying that bit, too bad )

But It’s seem like it’s no longer about OP when it starts to sound like that. Like they clearly stated , it’s about them making a stand so we can know where they belong on the spectrum of righteousness. Not about advising the OP.

(I’m still doubting the OP a bit though because of the M in the moniker).

Acidosis:


The Christ you were taught permits adultery. The Christ you were taught says you should enjoy marriage only when the weather is good and filled with milk and honey (horn. .y). The Christ you were taught did not use stronger words for an adulterous woman. The word "useless" is giving y'all sleepless nights and days ... a goal well achieved.

There are different types of Christ.

Even the Oyinbo one.

Like someone would say: Many people want Him to be their personal saviour; they don't want Him to be their Lord.

pocohantas:


I don’t know why they are fighting it and getting triggered. We see this thing happen everyday. They don’t even waste time, they will ship the woman back to her parents or siblings. There are way too many of such cases, the few exceptions are dismissed.

The man’s family are not even helping and they all overlooked that. Toor!

My married aunt (I always talk about her because I really miss her). Got sick and couldn’t work anymore or take care of her home. Guess where she died, back in her father’s house because the husband couldn’t care for her.

Do you know why anyone was even slightly upset with him, it wasn’t because he couldn’t care for her (Men usually are forgiven for such) it was because after she came home to be nursed, he stopped caring at all. Even for his kid who was a toddler then. Yes the toddler of course had to come home with the mom. Dad can’t work and take care of a toddler at the same time we were told. Never mind that Moms do it all the time but we forgive him for not being able to do so.

But the moment he actually stopped calling, stopped caring, stopped asking how are they doing? Do they need anything? When can I visit? What does my child need? That was only when her family got upset with him.

I can only pass judgment on a cruel woman. But a woman who’s doing what she can with what she has will always get a “you go girl” from me.

cococandy:



Is my hypothetical decision if I were to hypothetically find myself in her shoes actually going to do anything to help her in her current situation? The most realistic thing I can tell her is that I won’t judge her and I won’t. (If anyone doesn’t like me saying that bit, too bad )

But It’s seem like it’s no longer about OP when it starts to sound like that. Like they clearly stated , it’s about them making a stand so we can know where they belong on the spectrum of righteousness. Not about advising the OP.

(I’m still doubting the OP a bit though because of the M in the moniker).

They came up with completely unrelated stuff making it as always ideological instead of giving practical advice which could actually make a difference. And this making a difference in terms of actually helping someone in their struggles would actually align with the Christian doctrine of loving your neighbor as you love yourself but it's not about that really. They are Christians where it serves them, oblivious of it where it doesn't.

I wish I could offer advice but I have no idea which support system exists in Nigeria for people in her situation. I appreciate you calling people to the thread who have more information on that. And you are absolutely right to refrain from judgement for the simple reason that you have not walked in her shoes.

I helped someone in my family take care of her husband before he died. With all the support system you get abroad this was one of the biggest challenges our family has ever had to face. The wife was a shadow of her self for five years, her health deteriorating from year to year and this with all hands on deck and the best medical support you can get. She once hurt herself badly by lifting the husband to change his clothes. She spent a week in the hospital and I stayed with her husband. My uncle and aunt stayed with me. It was a 24/7 job. Let me not share more details. I don't even want to go back there in my thoughts.

The loudest mouths here have no idea what they are talking about. As they say, talk is cheap so let them hype themselves some more theoretically.

Hathor5:


The Christ I know helped people in need, sinners or not, instead of calling them names Mr Moralist.
Those without sin throw the first stone.
Go and read your Bible again.
Not only Apostle Paul's writings please.
Thank me later.

And what need can I possibly address? Make myself her side guy or gigolo? I don't like to waste my time romanticizing negativity.

bukatyne:


There are different types of Christ.

Even the Oyinbo one.

Like someone would say: Many people want Him to be their personal saviour; they don't want Him to be their Lord.

Very true

Acidosis:


And what need can I possibly offer OP? Make myself her side guy or gigolo? I don't like to waste my time romanticizing negativity.

If you have no help to offer, don't comment to call someone in this extremely terrible situation names. Doing so is as far from Christ as can be.

Romanticize negativity? You are negativity personified. Sorry.

bukatyne:


There are different types of Christ.

Even the Oyinbo one.

Like someone would say: Many people want Him to be their personal saviour; they don't want Him to be their Lord.

Don't be a coward.