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H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! - Travel (4) - Nairaland

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Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by flyingpig: 9:10am On Jul 25, 2020
Canny19:
Yaaaaaaay, quarantine is finally over and I'm covid free. It's totally not fun to be banished away from the world for 14 long days. To celebrate my freedom from captivity, I decided to step out to explore the city. Before stepping out, I called a friend to properly school me in the art of using the city buses so as not to get lost or meet myself in Nigeria. I got a bus pass, noted all the places I needed to go and stepped out. I hopped in a bus and it felt like I was inside a plane with 4 tyres. The interior was clean and serene, social distancing was observed unlike BRTs in lagos where we fight and push just to board the bus to stand with one leg for the entire duration of the trip. The first thing I noticed is the politeness of the passengers, people alighted from the bus with a thank you to the bus driver...in my head I began to wonder if the bus driver was volunteering or getting paid for his services cos saying thank you to a commercial bus driver is alien to me.

So I finally got to the bus station and joined others in saying thank you before alighting, I needed to catch another bus so I had to walk across the bus station to another terminal. While walking, I was faced with 4 doors to open..... To open ordinary door com turn herculean task. There was no pull/push on the doors that's how I got confused o but as a proper Nigerian I decided to rely on my strength instead of asking questions, I began to push the doors with all my strength... Pushed one.. Pushed two.. Pushed three and the last door decided not to yield to my strength so I got stuck. Unknown to me, some whites were coming at my back already disturbed by the way I was disgracing my family. Immediately I noticed their glare I quickly reached for my phone and placed it on my ears like a call came in. While at that, I patiently took notice of how they opened the door. Apparently, there were sensors at the side of the doors that I only needed to wave to in order for them to open... Chai see how I disgraced myself.... I angrily went back to the first door and started waving at the sensors and the doors started opening o... I felt like Alibaba opening sesame.


Finally, I got to the mall where I needed to get a screen protector for my new phone since some 'unscrupulous elements' here already phone shamed me cos of my camera. I met an Indian at a phone accessories shop and asked him for a glass screen protector. He told me he doesn't have a glass screen protector but he has a better one, so I asked him to fix me the 'better one' while I look around the mall. Getting back, he handed my the phone and I saw that he has covered the screen with a nylon protector... Bros are you whining me ni... How's this better than glass protector? He sha started explaining things about anti scratch that I didn't understand, I sha kept calm cos I didn't want to cause a scene on my first day out.. I angrily asked for the price and he said 30 dolls.... 30 kini... I sharply converted it to naira in my head and that was when I knew a scene was inevitable.... How can I pay over 8k for a nylon protector? Even computer village boys dare not try to scam me like this... Scammer come turn scamee... That's how I told him to remove his nylon that I'm not doing again o... After plenty talks, he agreed 15 dolls which I reluctantly paid. Long story short sha, I have marked his face...we will meet on the street and turn the matter to 'two fighting' cos the thing pain me no be small... Nylon protector I normally buy for 400 naira come turn 4k.

To cool off the anger and wait for my friend, I made my way to the much talked about Tim Hortons hoping to buy whatever they sell there. There, I met a Chinese who was speaking like it's against the law to speak loud.... I sha calmed down to explain to him how hungry I was and he told me to speak no more that he got me. Twinkle of an eye, this man brought a big cup of coffee and one tiny doughnut to go with it. 'sir, I thought you said you got me.. You didn't 'got' me rarara o...
Whats this na.... I never said I was thirsty na, it's hunger that is catching me' how can u bring a big bucket of coffee instead of a big doughnut. As if that wasn't enough, the Chinese decided to hand me sachets of sugar and milk to mix myself instead of mixing it himself. The milk I was given didn't even change the colour of the coffee after emptying them in. I sha took my L and marked the guy's face too.

One last thing, I really do not understand o.. Id El kabir is almost here and I still haven't seen rams dragged around....No ram fights ..no anything abi Canadians don't celebrate ileya ni. Is this how I'm going to miss Id El kabir's meat this year? cry The only animal these whites keep dragging around are dogs? They should just thank their stars that I'm not from calabar sha... Coman see dogs looking all fleshy n meaty, if only they know what their peers go thru in the hands of Calabarians. God dey!

It's indeed good to be outside again and it's already looking like the grasses are truly greener on this side o, time will tell sha.


Here are some pictures for you


I smell iPhone cheesy judging from the cameras grin
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by Joohan: 9:31am On Jul 25, 2020
Canny19:
Yaaaaaaay, quarantine is finally over and I'm covid free. It's totally not fun to be banished away from the world for 14 long days. To celebrate my freedom from captivity, I decided to step out to explore the city. Before stepping out, I called a friend to properly school me in the art of using the city buses so as not to get lost or meet myself in Nigeria. I got a bus pass, noted all the places I needed to go and stepped out. I hopped in a bus and it felt like I was inside a plane with 4 tyres. The interior was clean and serene, social distancing was observed unlike BRTs in lagos where we fight and push just to board the bus to stand with one leg for the entire duration of the trip. The first thing I noticed is the politeness of the passengers, people alighted from the bus with a thank you to the bus driver...in my head I began to wonder if the bus driver was volunteering or getting paid for his services cos saying thank you to a commercial bus driver is alien to me.

So I finally got to the bus station and joined others in saying thank you before alighting, I needed to catch another bus so I had to walk across the bus station to another terminal. While walking, I was faced with 4 doors to open..... To open ordinary door com turn herculean task. There was no pull/push on the doors that's how I got confused o but as a proper Nigerian I decided to rely on my strength instead of asking questions, I began to push the doors with all my strength... Pushed one.. Pushed two.. Pushed three and the last door decided not to yield to my strength so I got stuck. Unknown to me, some whites were coming at my back already disturbed by the way I was disgracing my family. Immediately I noticed their glare I quickly reached for my phone and placed it on my ears like a call came in. While at that, I patiently took notice of how they opened the door. Apparently, there were sensors at the side of the doors that I only needed to wave to in order for them to open... Chai see how I disgraced myself.... I angrily went back to the first door and started waving at the sensors and the doors started opening o... I felt like Alibaba opening sesame.


Finally, I got to the mall where I needed to get a screen protector for my new phone since some 'unscrupulous elements' here already phone shamed me cos of my camera. I met an Indian at a phone accessories shop and asked him for a glass screen protector. He told me he doesn't have a glass screen protector but he has a better one, so I asked him to fix me the 'better one' while I look around the mall. Getting back, he handed my the phone and I saw that he has covered the screen with a nylon protector... Bros are you whining me ni... How's this better than glass protector? He sha started explaining things about anti scratch that I didn't understand, I sha kept calm cos I didn't want to cause a scene on my first day out.. I angrily asked for the price and he said 30 dolls.... 30 kini... I sharply converted it to naira in my head and that was when I knew a scene was inevitable.... How can I pay over 8k for a nylon protector? Even computer village boys dare not try to scam me like this... Scammer come turn scamee... That's how I told him to remove his nylon that I'm not doing again o... After plenty talks, he agreed 15 dolls which I reluctantly paid. Long story short sha, I have marked his face...we will meet on the street and turn the matter to 'two fighting' cos the thing pain me no be small... Nylon protector I normally buy for 400 naira come turn 4k.

To cool off the anger and wait for my friend, I made my way to the much talked about Tim Hortons hoping to buy whatever they sell there. There, I met a Chinese who was speaking like it's against the law to speak loud.... I sha calmed down to explain to him how hungry I was and he told me to speak no more that he got me. Twinkle of an eye, this man brought a big cup of coffee and one tiny doughnut to go with it. 'sir, I thought you said you got me.. You didn't 'got' me rarara o...
Whats this na.... I never said I was thirsty na, it's hunger that is catching me' how can u bring a big bucket of coffee instead of a big doughnut. As if that wasn't enough, the Chinese decided to hand me sachets of sugar and milk to mix myself instead of mixing it himself. The milk I was given didn't even change the colour of the coffee after emptying them in. I sha took my L and marked the guy's face too.

One last thing, I really do not understand o.. Id El kabir is almost here and I still haven't seen rams dragged around....No ram fights ..no anything abi Canadians don't celebrate ileya ni. Is this how I'm going to miss Id El kabir's meat this year? cry The only animal these whites keep dragging around are dogs? They should just thank their stars that I'm not from calabar sha... Coman see dogs looking all fleshy n meaty, if only they know what their peers go thru in the hands of Calabarians. God dey!

It's indeed good to be outside again and it's already looking like the grasses are truly greener on this side o, time will tell sha.


Here are some pictures for you




I commend your writing prowess. This thread made me laugh. Thanks boss.

Abeg, livestream the 'two fighting' when you jam that scammer for street. Lol

5 Likes

Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by Davidhero(m): 7:14pm On Jul 25, 2020
Joohan:


I commend your writing prowess. This thread made me laugh. Thanks boss.

Abeg, livestream the 'two fighting' when you jam that scammer for street. Lol

Lol...

Seconded!
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by Anonime1105(m): 7:33pm On Jul 25, 2020
grin
Canny19:
Thanks everyone. I will update this thread as much I can in a bid to see Canada thru my eyes.
Let's fire on!


My first canny experience happened in the washroom at Toronto Pearson International Airport. I was waiting for my last leg at the airport, I felt pressed so I made my way to the washroom. I went in with my sanitizer with the hope of Sanitizing the toilet bowl before sitting on it. I got in there and realized that it was my sanitizer that needed to be sanitized by the toilet bowl cos it was looking cleaner than crystals. As if that wasn't enough, I finished the doings, stood up and the toilet flushed automatically ... Like really... Who asked you? I wasn't sure how it knew I was done .. That's how I used the next 5 minutes looking for the sensor on the toilet bowl o. Finally found it and I decided to trick it by running my palm over the censor and the toilet flushed again.... That's how I won the cold war between myself and the toilet bowl in the washroom o. This Canada ehn.... I must explore


grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by Penpaddie: 12:24pm On Jul 26, 2020
Lol, the op is quite hilarious, nice thread
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by GboyegaD(m): 12:27am On Jul 27, 2020
Canny19:


To cool off the anger and wait for my friend, I made my way to the much talked about Tim Hortons hoping to buy whatever they sell there. There, I met a Chinese who was speaking like it's against the law to speak loud.... I sha calmed down to explain to him how hungry I was and he told me to speak no more that he got me. Twinkle of an eye, this man brought a big cup of coffee and one tiny doughnut to go with it. 'sir, I thought you said you got me.. You didn't 'got' me rarara o...
Whats this na.... I never said I was thirsty na, it's hunger that is catching me' how can u bring a big bucket of coffee instead of a big doughnut. As if that wasn't enough, the Chinese decided to hand me sachets of sugar and milk to mix myself instead of mixing it himself. The milk I was given didn't even change the colour of the coffee after emptying them in. I sha took my L and marked the guy's face too.


Oga, no be donut he give you now. Na likely Bagel with that wrapper. Anyways, you sure would enjoy Edmonton. If you have time, visit the West End Mall.
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by Canny19: 1:07am On Jul 27, 2020
GboyegaD:


Oga, no be donut he give you now. Na likely Bagel with that wrapper. Anyways, you sure would enjoy Edmonton. If you have time, visit the West End Mall.

Bagel? Never heard it before... It sha looked like bread n egg. Will Def visit the west end mall soon. Thanks

4 Likes

Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by GboyegaD(m): 1:23am On Jul 27, 2020
Canny19:


Bagel? Never heard it before... It sha looked like bread n egg. Will Def visit the west end mall soon. Thanks

Na Bread. No worry, you go sabi soonest.

1 Like

Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by Drenimarcus(m): 3:37am On Jul 27, 2020
Unscrupulous elements got me reeling cheesy grin grin, nice thread bro.
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by Jaycew(f): 7:37am On Jul 27, 2020
Drenimarcus:
Unscrupulous elements got me reeling cheesy grin grin, nice thread bro.
Drenimarcus ssss
Update your thread for us grin grin grin
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by jizzyjordan: 7:48am On Jul 27, 2020
Canny19:
Yaaaaaaay, quarantine is finally over and I'm covid free. It's totally not fun to be banished away from the world for 14 long days. To celebrate my freedom from captivity, I decided to step out to explore the city. Before stepping out, I called a friend to properly school me in the art of using the city buses so as not to get lost or meet myself in Nigeria. I got a bus pass, noted all the places I needed to go and stepped out. I hopped in a bus and it felt like I was inside a plane with 4 tyres. The interior was clean and serene, social distancing was observed unlike BRTs in lagos where we fight and push just to board the bus to stand with one leg for the entire duration of the trip. The first thing I noticed is the politeness of the passengers, people alighted from the bus with a thank you to the bus driver...in my head I began to wonder if the bus driver was volunteering or getting paid for his services cos saying thank you to a commercial bus driver is alien to me.

So I finally got to the bus station and joined others in saying thank you before alighting, I needed to catch another bus so I had to walk across the bus station to another terminal. While walking, I was faced with 4 doors to open..... To open ordinary door com turn herculean task. There was no pull/push on the doors that's how I got confused o but as a proper Nigerian I decided to rely on my strength instead of asking questions, I began to push the doors with all my strength... Pushed one.. Pushed two.. Pushed three and the last door decided not to yield to my strength so I got stuck. Unknown to me, some whites were coming at my back already disturbed by the way I was disgracing my family. Immediately I noticed their glare I quickly reached for my phone and placed it on my ears like a call came in. While at that, I patiently took notice of how they opened the door. Apparently, there were sensors at the side of the doors that I only needed to wave to in order for them to open... Chai see how I disgraced myself.... I angrily went back to the first door and started waving at the sensors and the doors started opening o... I felt like Alibaba opening sesame.


Finally, I got to the mall where I needed to get a screen protector for my new phone since some 'unscrupulous elements' here already phone shamed me cos of my camera. I met an Indian at a phone accessories shop and asked him for a glass screen protector. He told me he doesn't have a glass screen protector but he has a better one, so I asked him to fix me the 'better one' while I look around the mall. Getting back, he handed my the phone and I saw that he has covered the screen with a nylon protector... Bros are you whining me ni... How's this better than glass protector? He sha started explaining things about anti scratch that I didn't understand, I sha kept calm cos I didn't want to cause a scene on my first day out.. I angrily asked for the price and he said 30 dolls.... 30 kini... I sharply converted it to naira in my head and that was when I knew a scene was inevitable.... How can I pay over 8k for a nylon protector? Even computer village boys dare not try to scam me like this... Scammer come turn scamee... That's how I told him to remove his nylon that I'm not doing again o... After plenty talks, he agreed 15 dolls which I reluctantly paid. Long story short sha, I have marked his face...we will meet on the street and turn the matter to 'two fighting' cos the thing pain me no be small... Nylon protector I normally buy for 400 naira come turn 4k.

To cool off the anger and wait for my friend, I made my way to the much talked about Tim Hortons hoping to buy whatever they sell there. There, I met a Chinese who was speaking like it's against the law to speak loud.... I sha calmed down to explain to him how hungry I was and he told me to speak no more that he got me. Twinkle of an eye, this man brought a big cup of coffee and one tiny doughnut to go with it. 'sir, I thought you said you got me.. You didn't 'got' me rarara o...
Whats this na.... I never said I was thirsty na, it's hunger that is catching me' how can u bring a big bucket of coffee instead of a big doughnut. As if that wasn't enough, the Chinese decided to hand me sachets of sugar and milk to mix myself instead of mixing it himself. The milk I was given didn't even change the colour of the coffee after emptying them in. I sha took my L and marked the guy's face too.

One last thing, I really do not understand o.. Id El kabir is almost here and I still haven't seen rams dragged around....No ram fights ..no anything abi Canadians don't celebrate ileya ni. Is this how I'm going to miss Id El kabir's meat this year? cry The only animal these whites keep dragging around are dogs? They should just thank their stars that I'm not from calabar sha... Coman see dogs looking all fleshy n meaty, if only they know what their peers go thru in the hands of Calabarians. God dey!

It's indeed good to be outside again and it's already looking like the grasses are truly greener on this side o, time will tell sha.


Here are some pictures for you


. op funny o I swear you go mark face tire

1 Like

Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by clemsclef: 8:24am On Jul 27, 2020
grin grin grin i can't help but laf
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by Harkstetunz: 3:22pm On Aug 27, 2020
OP seems to have forgotten this thread

2 Likes

Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by Sss2: 10:53pm On Sep 02, 2020
E no easy!

Make him gather and settle very well.

1 Like

Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by Cousin9999: 11:46pm On Sep 02, 2020
But do you like poutine?
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by krissconnect(m): 3:51pm On Sep 03, 2020
grin cheesy cheesy
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by budaatum: 4:16pm On Sep 03, 2020
flyingpig:
sharap you're in america grin
I am not in America, you sharap! angry
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by NumeroUno7: 9:12pm On Sep 04, 2020
baba help us with photos na biko
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by ecomalchemist(m): 6:55pm On Sep 05, 2020
southniyikaye:
God
Almighty father
Abba father
I so much believe in you to change my story completely.
Nigeria is not a good place to live neither is it a place to raise kids to standard.
People are killed daily with reckless abandon
Our ogas at the top loot with reckless abandon without even considering the masses.
We legit hustlers hardly feed our family not even families why fraudulent people thrive and oppress the legit hustlers.
Ml imagine me working extremely hard and end up with palstery sum while someone Wil just Pam Pam Pam on the system and make millions and still oppress me that wants to feed off my sweat.
I need a country I can feel like human, work like human and feed like human.
A place where there is security for my kids and me.
GOD I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME TO A REALM WHERE FASTING WILL NO LONGER BE REQUIRED BUT JUST PRAISES UNTO YOUR HOLY NAME.
I BELIEVE YOU CAN DO THIS FOR ME OH LORD.
THIS IS SINCERELY FROM MY HEART LORD.

This prayer is so deep, 95% of Nigerians can relate.

I almost shed a tear, may your dreams come through bro so we can all testify in due time because me sef don tire, I no go lie for you.

4 Likes

Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by revcompaty(m): 7:12pm On Sep 05, 2020
southniyikaye:
God
Almighty father
Abba father
I so much believe in you to change my story completely.
Nigeria is not a good place to live neither is it a place to raise kids to standard.
People are killed daily with reckless abandon
Our ogas at the top loot with reckless abandon without even considering the masses.
We legit hustlers hardly feed our family not even families why fraudulent people thrive and oppress the legit hustlers.
Ml imagine me working extremely hard and end up with palstery sum while someone Wil just Pam Pam Pam on the system and make millions and still oppress me that wants to feed off my sweat.
I need a country I can feel like human, work like human and feed like human.
A place where there is security for my kids and me.
GOD I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME TO A REALM WHERE FASTING WILL NO LONGER BE REQUIRED BUT JUST PRAISES UNTO YOUR HOLY NAME.
I BELIEVE YOU CAN DO THIS FOR ME OH LORD.
THIS IS SINCERELY FROM MY HEART LORD.
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by NumeroUno7: 10:25pm On Sep 27, 2020
Bros update your thread with photos na
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by SageMahrez(m): 11:44am On Sep 29, 2020
Mas cruise
Re: H'abroad Through The Eyes Of A Bushman! by OGWILLS123: 12:31pm On Sep 29, 2020
Canny19:
Yaaaaaaay, quarantine is finally over and I'm covid free. It's totally not fun to be banished away from the world for 14 long days. To celebrate my freedom from captivity, I decided to step out to explore the city. Before stepping out, I called a friend to properly school me in the art of using the city buses so as not to get lost or meet myself in Nigeria. I got a bus pass, noted all the places I needed to go and stepped out. I hopped in a bus and it felt like I was inside a plane with 4 tyres. The interior was clean and serene, social distancing was observed unlike BRTs in lagos where we fight and push just to board the bus to stand with one leg for the entire duration of the trip. The first thing I noticed is the politeness of the passengers, people alighted from the bus with a thank you to the bus driver...in my head I began to wonder if the bus driver was volunteering or getting paid for his services cos saying thank you to a commercial bus driver is alien to me.

So I finally got to the bus station and joined others in saying thank you before alighting, I needed to catch another bus so I had to walk across the bus station to another terminal. While walking, I was faced with 4 doors to open..... To open ordinary door com turn herculean task. There was no pull/push on the doors that's how I got confused o but as a proper Nigerian I decided to rely on my strength instead of asking questions, I began to push the doors with all my strength... Pushed one.. Pushed two.. Pushed three and the last door decided not to yield to my strength so I got stuck. Unknown to me, some whites were coming at my back already disturbed by the way I was disgracing my family. Immediately I noticed their glare I quickly reached for my phone and placed it on my ears like a call came in. While at that, I patiently took notice of how they opened the door. Apparently, there were sensors at the side of the doors that I only needed to wave to in order for them to open... Chai see how I disgraced myself.... I angrily went back to the first door and started waving at the sensors and the doors started opening o... I felt like Alibaba opening sesame.


Finally, I got to the mall where I needed to get a screen protector for my new phone since some 'unscrupulous elements' here already phone shamed me cos of my camera. I met an Indian at a phone accessories shop and asked him for a glass screen protector. He told me he doesn't have a glass screen protector but he has a better one, so I asked him to fix me the 'better one' while I look around the mall. Getting back, he handed my the phone and I saw that he has covered the screen with a nylon protector... Bros are you whining me ni... How's this better than glass protector? He sha started explaining things about anti scratch that I didn't understand, I sha kept calm cos I didn't want to cause a scene on my first day out.. I angrily asked for the price and he said 30 dolls.... 30 kini... I sharply converted it to naira in my head and that was when I knew a scene was inevitable.... How can I pay over 8k for a nylon protector? Even computer village boys dare not try to scam me like this... Scammer come turn scamee... That's how I told him to remove his nylon that I'm not doing again o... After plenty talks, he agreed 15 dolls which I reluctantly paid. Long story short sha, I have marked his face...we will meet on the street and turn the matter to 'two fighting' cos the thing pain me no be small... Nylon protector I normally buy for 400 naira come turn 4k.

To cool off the anger and wait for my friend, I made my way to the much talked about Tim Hortons hoping to buy whatever they sell there. There, I met a Chinese who was speaking like it's against the law to speak loud.... I sha calmed down to explain to him how hungry I was and he told me to speak no more that he got me. Twinkle of an eye, this man brought a big cup of coffee and one tiny doughnut to go with it. 'sir, I thought you said you got me.. You didn't 'got' me rarara o...
Whats this na.... I never said I was thirsty na, it's hunger that is catching me' how can u bring a big bucket of coffee instead of a big doughnut. As if that wasn't enough, the Chinese decided to hand me sachets of sugar and milk to mix myself instead of mixing it himself. The milk I was given didn't even change the colour of the coffee after emptying them in. I sha took my L and marked the guy's face too.

One last thing, I really do not understand o.. Id El kabir is almost here and I still haven't seen rams dragged around....No ram fights ..no anything abi Canadians don't celebrate ileya ni. Is this how I'm going to miss Id El kabir's meat this year? cry The only animal these whites keep dragging around are dogs? They should just thank their stars that I'm not from calabar sha... Coman see dogs looking all fleshy n meaty, if only they know what their peers go thru in the hands of Calabarians. God dey!

It's indeed good to be outside again and it's already looking like the grasses are truly greener on this side o, time will tell sha.


Here are some pictures for you


OP I will....lipsrsealed
abeg come update us cry

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