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Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. - Romance (10) - Nairaland

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Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Sixfeetbelle: 11:15pm On Jul 29, 2020
Liposure:
its a man's world. Anything he does is normal. Anything she does is scrutinised

And this is why men keeps getting screwed over and over again
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by ekibs11(m): 11:16pm On Jul 29, 2020
Chinkos99:
Our company recently employed this guy, we worked in the same company before, then he was a manager and i was a junior staff.

I left the company years ago and joined another, so few months ago he got employed in my new office as a Director.

When he resumed, being that i knew him before, i started playing around with him, like when he was introduced to us, i was like oo, common, i hug him tightly and people were surprise at our closeness before i informed them that we have worked together before.

I am a jovial person, so each time i go around his office, i will call him boyfriend, my love, hope no girl is trespassing cos i will fight o and his subordinates will laugh and say you are not serious.

On the job, we get to work together at times cos i am a Manager now, we go for meetings etc, then some of his job includes doing some short production, even though i am not employed as a video producer, i told him i can do those for him personally, cos i recently learn those, he was surprise before but he decided to give me a try, i did it for him and he liked it, he became close and said i was helping him solve alot of problems.

Recently when he comes to my office, he will ask my PA where is my woman and that one will laugh knowing i started it but i just thought that was it though.

So last month when we went to the Palms Mall, to seek for permission to film their facilities in the short production work we had, we were together then he decided to do some shopping, i helped him carry the things he bought and just had fun, he took me to shoprite and ask me to shop, i just pick two things, drink and rice and he said is that all i said yes, he started showing me things, take this, take that i said i was okay, that it wasnt appropriate to come here and start shopping like its month end. So we left, in the car he said, you do have some very good attribute girl, i said like what, he said never mind and we drove off.

After that he started asking if we can have lunch but most time our lunch time dont sync, so i told him not to worry, then he asked for a dinner, i close late, im a workaholic, so most times i will agree but i will work till 9pm and he would have waited and get tired and left.

Finally i get to have a dinner date with him and he ask if we could do this more often, i said why not boyfriend jokingly, the next time we were having dinner, I said boyfriend let me greet that guy there, i really needed to meet him, he has a contact i need for work, he held me and said you call me boyfriend jokingly, i want you to mean it lol.

After i met with the guy, he started telling me how he loved me and how he will really love us to be in a relationship, he doesnt expect a yes and he knows its so wrong on all level because we work in the same place, but i can think about it and give him a response later that he will respect any decision i make.

I said thank you o, but since then, dude is so soft and nervous when he sees me, i can see the butterflies even when we are in a client meeting.

Even though he tries not to make it obvious at work, after work he is all over me

Last night we were together, i told him i am scared as he is almost 40 and not married, that i believe any guy who gets to that age, with enough money but has not married is a play boy lol. He couldn't say a word for like some minutes then he said, yes i am old enough to have been married and i had relationships, beautiful relationships with wonderful women, some didn't work because of my mistakes and because of things i neglected and some didn't work because it was not meant to work, but above all have learnt alot to be at least a better man and i am ready to make it work this time i promise, i have no doubt if you are the right girl because have known you for long and have never had a second thought about my woman, so forgive me for not making it work all these while, i want to make it right this time - MEHN THOSE WORDS RINGS IN MY HEAD LIKE KILODE, i loved the fact that he didnt put the blame on the ladies he's dated.

Now on my own side, I do not feel anything for him but i like him alot, i like that we should be hanging out, go out, do dinner and talk from morning tonight but i do not feel anything aside that. What do you guys advise.


...always remember love is an action and not a feeling
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by mayor1814: 11:19pm On Jul 29, 2020
I'm very sure if you give him a chance, the relationship will work fine. Sometimes we trivialize and underrate some good things of life that should have happened to us.

Is it a player or gangsta u wanna fall for? it will end in .........................
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by showafrica(m): 11:21pm On Jul 29, 2020
dairykidd:
Just imagine.. after setting him up to fall u want let am knack face fo tarred road. Teasing and playing with a grown man's emotions just for fun. Now him done finally fall u dey ask advise undecided

Is this not harassment... non physical harassment in a place of work. That guy should sue for damages

Lol, I know her type, she is jovial and can make a man jealous. She knows the perfect trick to make a man fall. If i be director, i for still chop her with reverse psychology but from what I am seeing... Director have been friendzoned, he made a big mistake by rushing this lady. I like my dignity oo, i no fit fall for my female colleague like this. Very big mistake from director..

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by karnap(m): 11:26pm On Jul 29, 2020
See why I have problem with girls
You don't love him but you huge him so well with your pushup bra breast making the man feels you have a feeling for him.
You don't love him but jokingly calling him boy friend, do you think any lady for serious relationship will have feeling for the man? You are standing on the gate that you don't want to enter keeping other people away from it too, that's wickedness
You allow him takes you out for a dates buys you food and drinks, the money the man would have use it for something Important.
You have tie the man down making him developed full feeling for you and now you are running away.
Where do you keep your own relationship, you annoy me.

2 Likes

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by RTSC: 11:29pm On Jul 29, 2020
Wetin Concern me.
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by saasala(m): 11:30pm On Jul 29, 2020
Chinkos99:

Thanks dear

You are madd. Its is this kind of useless advise that favours your selfish asss you will like.

Leave the man alone. Stop flirting with him

Na Sango go kill you las las. Oloriburuku

1 Like

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Tonitoniton(m): 11:35pm On Jul 29, 2020
yea, as usual, u ladies like to start what u can not finish and when things turn sour u start run every where. That man is just in for a rude shock hanging out with an unserious person like u
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Christian07(m): 12:27am On Jul 30, 2020
Which kind wahala be this what do you want exactly

Which kind deception be this

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Platony(m): 12:28am On Jul 30, 2020
My dear, as long as u guys work in same place,....give it some time. Do not give him a Yes yet. Giving him a Yes will reduce the butterflies grin grin, then expect a lot of distractions.

I'd seriously advise u just keep it on d low for now cos from ur story I believe u're a bit into him which will eventually blossom in no time. But, it is just too risky seeing someone in same workplace.
Sometimes, he would want to kiss u codedly or yearn for a quickie.

LOVE head no correct oo, if e start...to control am no easy oo. grin grin

#TakeYourTimeDear
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by sureteeboy(m): 12:33am On Jul 30, 2020
Notatribalist:
I read this story about 2 years ago..Stop,this is not ur story
2 years? This cock and bull story is over 4 years old.
Check a 2016 thread on this same nairaland
https://www.nairaland.com/3099776/he-thought-loved-him-only
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by NovusHomo(m): 1:40am On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:
Our company recently employed this guy, we worked in the same company before, then he was a manager and i was a junior staff.

I left the company years ago and joined another, so few months ago he got employed in my new office as a Director.

When he resumed, being that i knew him before, i started playing around with him, like when he was introduced to us, i was like oo, common, i hug him tightly and people were surprise at our closeness before i informed them that we have worked together before.

I am a jovial person, so each time i go around his office, i will call him boyfriend, my love, hope no girl is trespassing cos i will fight o and his subordinates will laugh and say you are not serious.

On the job, we get to work together at times cos i am a Manager now, we go for meetings etc, then some of his job includes doing some short production, even though i am not employed as a video producer, i told him i can do those for him personally, cos i recently learn those, he was surprise before but he decided to give me a try, i did it for him and he liked it, he became close and said i was helping him solve alot of problems.

Recently when he comes to my office, he will ask my PA where is my woman and that one will laugh knowing i started it but i just thought that was it though.

So last month when we went to the Palms Mall, to seek for permission to film their facilities in the short production work we had, we were together then he decided to do some shopping, i helped him carry the things he bought and just had fun, he took me to shoprite and ask me to shop, i just pick two things, drink and rice and he said is that all i said yes, he started showing me things, take this, take that i said i was okay, that it wasnt appropriate to come here and start shopping like its month end. So we left, in the car he said, you do have some very good attribute girl, i said like what, he said never mind and we drove off.

After that he started asking if we can have lunch but most time our lunch time dont sync, so i told him not to worry, then he asked for a dinner, i close late, im a workaholic, so most times i will agree but i will work till 9pm and he would have waited and get tired and left.

Finally i get to have a dinner date with him and he ask if we could do this more often, i said why not boyfriend jokingly, the next time we were having dinner, I said boyfriend let me greet that guy there, i really needed to meet him, he has a contact i need for work, he held me and said you call me boyfriend jokingly, i want you to mean it lol.

After i met with the guy, he started telling me how he loved me and how he will really love us to be in a relationship, he doesnt expect a yes and he knows its so wrong on all level because we work in the same place, but i can think about it and give him a response later that he will respect any decision i make.

I said thank you o, but since then, dude is so soft and nervous when he sees me, i can see the butterflies even when we are in a client meeting.

Even though he tries not to make it obvious at work, after work he is all over me

Last night we were together, i told him i am scared as he is almost 40 and not married, that i believe any guy who gets to that age, with enough money but has not married is a play boy lol. He couldn't say a word for like some minutes then he said, yes i am old enough to have been married and i had relationships, beautiful relationships with wonderful women, some didn't work because of my mistakes and because of things i neglected and some didn't work because it was not meant to work, but above all have learnt alot to be at least a better man and i am ready to make it work this time i promise, i have no doubt if you are the right girl because have known you for long and have never had a second thought about my woman, so forgive me for not making it work all these while, i want to make it right this time - MEHN THOSE WORDS RINGS IN MY HEAD LIKE KILODE, i loved the fact that he didnt put the blame on the ladies he's dated.

Now on my own side, I do not feel anything for him but i like him alot, i like that we should be hanging out, go out, do dinner and talk from morning tonight but i do not feel anything aside that. What do you guys advise.

All these on the job. No wonder a lot of ladies get used. Just think: which do you think he will choose, his relationship with you, or his job?
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by MetaPhysical: 3:14am On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:

Abeg no swear for me
Lol

grin
I just dey tease you ni. But come on sister......you want tell me say you did not even feel an urge inside you to embrace and give this man comfort? Your sensuality did not blossom in his presence?? Dont lie to me o because otumokpo just waka enter house. grin grin

1 Like

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by anonimi: 4:11am On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:
Thanks
Maybe destined, but my parents won't accept his background ,
I know that for sure

Is this not the red flag stopping you from enjoying the blossoming relationship with the guy

1 Like

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by DCMIX(m): 4:13am On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:
What do you guys advise.
I advice you accept him

1 Like

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by anonimi: 4:13am On Jul 30, 2020
sureteeboy:
2 years? This cock and bull story is over 4 years old.
Check a 2016 thread on this same nairaland
https://www.nairaland.com/3099776/he-thought-loved-him-only

Awon otelemuye CID of nairaland.
I beri for una. That is to say I troway salute grin

nlfan:
Our company recently employed this guy, we worked in the same company before, then he was a manager and i was a junior staff.

I left the company years ago and joined another, so few months ago he got employed in my new office as a Director.

When he resumed, being that i knew him before, i started playing around with him, like when he was introduced to us, i was like oo, common, i hug him tightly and people were surprise at our closeness before i informed them that we have worked together before.

I am a jovial person, so each time i go around his office, i will call him boyfriend, my love, hope no girl is trespassing cos i will fight o and his subordinates will laugh and say you are not serious.

On the job, we get to work together at times cos i am a Manager now, we go for meetings etc, then some of his job includes doing some short production, even though i am not employed as a video producer, i told him i can do those for him personally, cos i recently learn those, he was surprise before but he decided to give me a try, i did it for him and he liked it, he became close and said i was helping him solve alot of problems.

Recently when he comes to my office, he will ask my PA where is my woman and that one will laugh knowing i started it but i just thought that was it though.

So last month when we went to the Palms Mall, to seek for permission to film their facilities in the short production work we had, we were together then he decided to do some shopping, i helped him carry the things he bought and just had fun, he took me to shoprite and ask me to shop, i just pick two things, drink and rice and he said is that all i said yes, he started showing me things, take this, take that i said i was okay, that it wasnt appropriate to come here and start shopping like its month end. So we left, in the car he said, you do have some very good attribute girl, i said like what, he said never mind and we drove off.

After that he started asking if we can have lunch but most time our lunch time dont sync, so i told him not to worry, then he asked for a dinner, i close late, im a workaholic, so most times i will agree but i will work till 9pm and he would have waited and get tired and left.

Finally i get to have a dinner date with him and he ask if we could do this more often, i said why not boyfriend jokingly, the next time we were having dinner, I said boyfriend let me greet that guy there, i really needed to meet him, he has a contact i need for work, he held me and said you call me boyfriend jokingly, i want you to mean it lol.

After i met with the guy, he started telling me how he loved me and how he will really love us to be in a relationship, he doesnt expect a yes and he knows its so wrong on all level because we work in the same place, but i can think about it and give him a response later that he will respect any decision i make.

I said thank you o, but since then, dude is so soft and nervous when he sees me, i can see the butterflies even when we are in a client meeting.

Even though he tries not to make it obvious at work, after work he is all over me

Last night we were together, i told him i am scared as he is almost 40 and not married, that i believe any guy who gets to that age, with enough money but has not married is a play boy lol. He couldn't say a word for like some minutes then he said, yes i am old enough to have been married and i had relationships, beautiful relationships with wonderful women, some didn't work because of my mistakes and because of things i neglected and some didn't work because it was not meant to work, but above all have learnt alot to be at least a better man and i am ready to make it work this time i promise, i have no doubt if you are the right girl because have known you for long and have never had a second thought about my woman, so forgive me for not making it work all these while, i want to make it right this time - MEHN THOSE WORDS RINGS IN MY HEAD LIKE KILODE, i loved the fact that he didnt put the blame on the ladies he's dated.

Now on my own side, I do not feel anything for him but i like him alot, i like that we should be hanging out, go out, do dinner and talk from morning tonight but i do not feel anything aside that. What do you guys advise.

1 Like

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by ZooOga: 4:44am On Jul 30, 2020
unknown nairalander, thank you for posting dis very educational pic. the msg dey stay in me strong. wink

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by InvestmentMood: 4:55am On Jul 30, 2020
Marry him LOVE grows.
Some entered with an already growned love but letter fell apart.
Some entered with little or no love, later bonded surprisingly
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Unbreakable007: 5:15am On Jul 30, 2020
Madam how old are u?

To start with.
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Yoighaman(m): 5:57am On Jul 30, 2020
ethicallyright:




"A strong man doesn't have to be dominant toward a woman. He doesn't match his strength against a woman weak with love for him. He matches it against the world." - Marilyn Monroe.




Norma Jean, also Marilyn Monroe , was the Kardashian of the 60s. A sex figure she was - an innocent fine face, endowed with curly blonde hair and the slim figure 8 which were in Vogue few decades past. Many men who we would later define as simps ,fell at her feet and wished they could have just a night with the late thespian.

The quote above suggests that women do not love men who beg them for love. If he walked your flat ass out of his office and saw you as the flirt you are, you'd fall for him. If he didn't convert his job hours at the mall to a honey moon, the title of this thread could have been :

"I love my boss but he doesn't care"

or
" My boss is rich but doesn't love women. How do I make him notice and fall in love with me?"

We've warned these weak men consistently but they care little. Tell him to give you 5 million naira and thereafter tell him that he is " emotionally assaulting" you. Maybe he will learn this precious lesson the hard way.

Lucky lady, I give you my blessings!





Damn! Brilliant!

By just reading your post, I can tell my day has started well...

1 Like

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Chinkos99(m): 6:02am On Jul 30, 2020
LawyerGodwin:


To start with, love is more than a feeling, it is a decision, it is a choice. Some say there's love at first sight (It's actually lust not love). You can't say you love someone you don't know. I stand to be corrected but I believe what many mean by " i don't love him" actually means I don't lust after him(in the case of love at first sight). That is, he is not too attractive for you wanting to date him. Attraction can be built over time when u get to know a person. Many Enemies at "first sight" ended up becoming "Lovers for lifetimes"

The thing is a guy can say anything to get in between the legs of a lady. You should observe him first to know if he really means it, put him through reasonable tests to be double sure. Men and Women can be deceptive, (try to avoid story that touches the heart biko!)

The First thing I advice to do is get to know him better, talk more about your ideas, values and philosophy of life, and then see if you are compatible. And if you have a YES.

Then you are good as gold. Very Important boundaries must be well set. So you can tell when he is becoming undatable or unmarriable.

This goes for both sexes.

Hope this helps!
Thanks dear

1 Like

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by placeofallure(f): 6:04am On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:


Hey I didn't set him up
Just took him as a workmate/ bestie

Go back and dig the ground and find that feeling for him na na na!
Will it kill you to try? You cowered him into submission with those name calling and flirtation. Now, he has surrendered you are saying no feeling, go and finish what you started my friend.

Oun t'eyan o ni i je, a ki i fi run mu.
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Chinkos99(m): 6:04am On Jul 30, 2020
MetaPhysical:


grin
I just dey tease you ni. But come on sister......you want tell me say you did not even feel an urge inside you to embrace and give this man comfort? Your sensuality did not blossom in his presence?? Dont lie to me o because otumokpo just waka enter house. grin grin
Talk that in private
Lol
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Chinkos99(m): 6:06am On Jul 30, 2020
greggng:


You wanna use your God given husband as boy friend? Go ahead if that is how you want your life .
Please advise me
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Chinkos99(m): 6:07am On Jul 30, 2020
frozen70:


If you read well, you will see where I said that love and affection grows with time

Don't be surprise if it happens this public holidays
True sha
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Chinkos99(m): 6:09am On Jul 30, 2020
Zoey95:
reading this story and the things this okpo dey yarn. e no go better for u o.p, you no go see better husband marry. na thief you be. wtf!!! the thing vex me enter my bone marrow. she say na sister love, say na bestie. old man of 40. Omo na baby mama go end Ur story don't even try quote me cus I go continue from where I stop
Lol
Continue
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by LawyerGodwin(m): 6:12am On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:

Thanks dear

More than welcome to help.
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Babaken(m): 6:43am On Jul 30, 2020
Nkiru i will never forgive you this is exactly what she did to me after showing me the green light she off the light remove the battery head.

1 Like

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Burgerlomo: 7:06am On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:


Just for fun

You're going to start having a sleepless night by the time you discover that he's already moving on with another gal. cool
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by louiziana(m): 7:17am On Jul 30, 2020
YOU led him on.... Gave him hope and those outings and dinner were dates in disguise so you guys have been dating. There are two types of women I hate: Women with wack sex and women who use words loosely such as my love, my darling, my boyfriend without meaning it, some married women even do that rubbish, calling workmates honey, darling, rubbish... Well I am below 30 but got no money so....
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by sunnyvilleReval(m): 7:31am On Jul 30, 2020
You don't feel anything for him but you like him?
If you don't like him you won't feel anything for him naaa..
It starts with likeness then the rest takes shape..
Just be honest with him
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Remix10(m): 7:39am On Jul 30, 2020
What do ladies even want, you are calling me your man, boyfriend in front of everyone at my workplace, what other place can be more official, if not the office? Teasing me how I look so attractive and fine, holding me in strangest places, even telling me she loves me, not that she is joking oh, Showing me all shades of green light, now I make move, you are telling me you don't love me.

God will punish you, yes, I said God punish you!

Ubunja miseducations should come in handy now. It will get to a stage where Ladies would be the one to propose else we play along. Mofos.

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