[quote author=DanoskiDaniels post=92250709]I have my reservations about this viral "Mommy Calm Down Video" first I don't find it funny nor interesting (but that's my personal opinion). As you are aware, the boy in the video is already getting endorsements and scholarship from both individuals and top brands alike and even the Governor of Lagos State wants to meet with the boy and this of course is always the expected result of anything viral that is seen exceptional by members of the social media community, however I'm only wondering why a parent would decide to punish a child and make a video of it to post in the social media, I mean what is actually the true motive of it? Is it to correct the child or to gain cheap popularity? In as much as there have been an open widow opportunity resulting from its publicity, I am still of the opinion that this act doesn't show maturity as it is not everything that should come to the public space except it is utterly necessary...[\quote]

Just on point. Well scripted.

DanoskiDaniels:
I have my reservations about this viral "Mommy Calm Down Video" first I don't find it funny nor interesting (but that's my personal opinion). As you are aware, the boy in the video is already getting endorsements and scholarship from both individuals and top brands alike and even the Governor of Lagos State wants to meet with the boy and this of course is always the expected result of anything viral that is seen exceptional by members of the social media community, however I'm only wondering why a parent would decide to punish a child and make a video of it to post in the social media, I mean what is actually the true motive of it? Is it to correct the child or to gain cheap popularity? In as much as there have been an open widow opportunity resulting from its publicity, I am still of the opinion that this act doesn't show maturity as it is not everything that should come to the public space except it is utterly necessary. As this has now become a trend now, just watch as many parent would in the following weeks, be flooding the social media with different versions of their own well scripted melodramas in other to cash out too from the already awaiting pseudo good hearted Nigerians who will also be showing concern for the cameras too. But anyways having said that, it is still my opinion, I mean, what do I know?

OP you just made me watch the viral video now, but what are you thinking? I just see a boy offending his mother and the mother trying to punish him but his pleading factors got the mom overwhelmed and that's why she tried to video it. At first the woman never know this will go viral, so no go dey show yourself and allow the family enjoy the grace that located them in peace

Hathor5:
It is horrifying that Nigerians are not moved by the child's despair and fear. As much as I also think that is highly questionable to film how you discipline your child to put it up on social media, I am more appalled by the cries of the child. I don't want to know the amount of abuse this boy has already suffered, which is the reason why he reacts the way he does. It's sad that Nigerians consider it normal/funny/entertaining but not surprising. They grew up suffering various forms of abuse and consider it normal.

Really? Yes child abuse is a staple in our culture. However to reach this conclusion when the video does not show any evidence of abuse is very unfair to the mother. You do know children use tears and tantrums to manipulate outcomes to their advantage? We don’t beat our son but he screams blue murder when he’s told to go to his room or stop watching TV. If you know anything about abused children then you will know an abused child will never think he has an option to negotiate his discipline. I don’t know why strangers on the internet without being privy to a household always feel very comfortable judging the parenting skill of a mother they don’t know.

Jullima:

Really? Yes child abuse is a staple in our culture. However to reach this conclusion when the video does not show any evidence of abuse is very unfair to the mother. You do know children use tears and tantrums to manipulate outcomes to their advantage? We don’t beat our son but he screams blue murder when he’s told to go to his room or stop watching TV. If you know anything about abused children then you will know an abused child will never think he has an option to negotiate his discipline. I don’t know why strangers on the internet without being privy to a household always feel very comfortable judging the parenting skill of a mother they don’t know.

I can tell the difference between a child throwing tantrums and a terrified child. If mummy doesn't want to strangers to comment on her discipline techniques, she should refrain from uploading such videos, which is abuse of power in itself.

[s]

Hathor5:


I can tell the difference between a child throwing tantrums and a terrified child. If mummy doesn't want to strangers to comment on her discipline techniques, she should refrain from uploading such videos, which is abuse of power in itself.

[/s]

Hathor5:


I can tell the difference between a child throwing tantrums and a terrified child. If mummy doesn't want to strangers to comment on her discipline techniques, she should refrain from uploading such videos, which is abuse of power in itself.

NO you can’t! And that’s mighty bold and presumptuous of you to judge the parenting skills of a mother you don’t know because of a few minute video you watched. Mothers make videos of their children all the time and send to family. From what someone said upthread, she didn’t post it herself.

Na wa o. This is much ado over nothing.and for those who seem to be comparing this with torture, this is very far from abuse. Some of the people here were flogged all over their body but did not end being torturers as parents. The child had a normal healthy reaction to be spanked on his hand not like he was being brutally assaulted. He reacted typically as a kid due to the fear of punishment which to me means he does know right from wrong and he is a normal healthy socially well adjusted kid. If you have seen or worked with abused kids, you would be able to tell the difference between a kid reacting to punishment and an abused child. As to the manner of punishment , corporal punishment has not been outlawed in Nigeria and is being practiced even in some parts of countries like the US. To be fair to the mother , I don’t think she was anticipating this video going viral so we have to give he that benefit of the doubt. In all I thought it was pretty hilarious and reminded me of myself at his age. Finally , parenting is tough enough and we are all at liberty to raise kids and use different methods that suit us , as long as no physical, verbal or psychological abuse is involved

XX01:
I didn't particularly like the video. I won't share such on social media. But really that's not abuse. I find that kids that are not used to being spanked are the ones that would like to talk their way out of a spanking. If a serious beating is what you encounter regularly, you would rather be steeling your body to reduce the pain. I know it's not in all cases but this just doesn't seem like one.

Also, kids can act once they know that they have been naughty and are going to be punished. They can put up the most riotous display if it will spare them a whopping.

You just took me down memory lane

I remember when my dad used to spank us with his trusty old brown towel or folded up newspaper, we'd be screaming like we are undergoing deliverance, meanwhile as soon as he turned his back we giggled between our fingers.

In retrospect, the folded up newspaper landing on our back and shoulder was supposed to exorcise the demons of stubbornness from us...

ambient:
Hathor and the other woke people above,you guys are very funny.i see you using words like torture while talking about the mother.ho are you to judge the mother? Does she look like someone who is about to flog that child?,sometimes my kids do crazy things that whenever i tell people they think i am exaggerating so i keep my camera nearby.do you know if it was the father that uploaded the video?
African way of training up a child remains the best way as far as it is not abusive,a little spanking here and there while telling the kid what he did wrong is the best approach.if you people like keep on forming woke.

You can never put anything past The Woke Generation.

Child abuse ko, adult abuse ni. This is why children of nowadays no longer respect their elders because the Woke Generation have started raising kids anyhow. Discipline is now 'abuse'.

Ishilove:

You can never put anything past The Woke Generation.

Child abuse ko, adult abuse ni. This is why children of nowadays no longer respect their elders because the Woke Generation have started raising kids anyhow. Discipline is now 'abuse'.

So flogging kids show that you are disciplining them?
So there are no other forms of discipline apart from the violent iron fist approach many parents use here?
Later on the kids will get used to flogging see no big deal in it and act violent towards their own kids.
That is child abuse abeg.For the child to be saying mommy calm down in fear only goes to show how scared a 4 year old is about his own mom.

Hathor5:


I can tell the difference between a child throwing tantrums and a terrified child. If mummy doesn't want to strangers to comment on her discipline techniques, she should refrain from uploading such videos, which is abuse of power in itself.

Exactly.The boy was terrified to me.

And I did not find that video funny

Hathor5:


You have a chaotic society despite all the spanking and abuse. Or because of it?

Oh the irony!

Irony of life despite all the so called discipline which is flogging in this part of the world.
We don't love ourselves and we act bery bitter to others .
What is the later effect of the discipline(flogging) in a long run.
Instead of parents to communicate and build relationships with their children they flog them to instill fear in them to the extent that this kids will later find it hard to communicate or open up to their parents or even question them self because before them fit talk they will receive flogging.Rubbish

Hathor5:


This boy is terrified beyond measure. I know most of you people think it is normal. I don't.

Some kids are very very dramatic. He may not be as terrified as he is pretending to be.

Remember children can be manipulative too. They do something wrong, knowing the consequences, yet do it anyway. Trust me if that mother is truly abusive, that boy will not won't even have the guts to say 'calm down'. As a matter of fact he will never even dare comit the crime in the first place.

My second child used to be the most stubborn and daring, and that's because she is so much like that little boy.

Anytime you want to discipline her she will scream and beg and tell you that you're going to kill her, that she loves you, that you are her mother, that she will never ever ever do it again. . . . . And the next second she's doing the same thing. I never used to be able to go through with spanking her because of her highly dramatic cries and pleas, untill I learned to ignore them. . . . I realised it was a tactic. Infact she bragged to her elder sister one day that "Mum can never spank her, that she will cry and beg and Mum will forgive her"

Let's just say she has now become loyal!

mariahAngel:
To me, I found the it very uncomfortable to watch how the child was desperately begging to be spared.
When he knelt down, I almost cried.
I know children can be naughty and that there's need to discipline them sometimes, but making them go through the mental and emotional torture of not knowing what to expect is not right. It is abuse.
If you're going to spank them, spank them already.
It would've even been fair if she had spanked him and got it over with, than allowing him go through that torture while filming it.
What would be worse would be that she ended up flogging him after that whole begging.

What if that's what gets through to him? Scaring him with the threat of the cane? Sometimes the threat of the spank is more effective than the spank itself.

Some children may be ready to take the flogging and not really care. Some may panic and the thought of being flogged and if you spare them they may not want to put themselves in such a position again, knowing the circumstances. Some will plead and beg and when you leave them they'll think they've 'won' and go back to what they were doing. Children can be unpredictable sometimes.

I don't think we should judge the parents based on one video alone. We don't even know the half of it.

Ishilove:

You can never put anything past The Woke Generation.

Child abuse ko, adult abuse ni. This is why children of nowadays no longer respect their elders because the Woke Generation have started raising kids anyhow. Discipline is now 'abuse'.

Exactly.

I don't know why we like copying the westerners in everything. Look how their kids turn out. Teenage pregnancy is now a norm. Drug addicts and gangsters everywhere. Is that the ideal way of raising kids? Not 'abusing' them?

I'll "abuse" my kids anyday as far as they grow up to know right from wrong.

An abused Nigerian child would tell his mother to calm down and even demonstrate sitting down to her?

Ishilove:

You can never put anything past The Woke Generation.

Child abuse ko, adult abuse ni. This is why children of nowadays no longer respect their elders because the Woke Generation have started raising kids anyhow. Discipline is now 'abuse'.

What is new under the heaven? I on one hand believe raising kids is a continuous process that involves parents continually formulating strategy or methods of training children..

As a teacher, an ex teacher rather- flogging is a method that no longer scares kids. After all the essence of flogging is to instil fear. When the flogging no longer delivers the effect of fear, you find that the teacher or parent is left frustrated and most often results to abusive beating.

So, what then is the alternative to flogging when flogging proves ineffective? Other societies dont flog yet their children are no different from ours.

UjuJoan2:


Exactly.

I don't know why we like copying the westerners in everything. Look how their kids turn out. Teenage pregnancy is now a norm. Drug addicts and gangsters everywhere. Is that the ideal way of raising kids? Not 'abusing' them?

I'll "abuse" my kids anyday as far as they grow up to know right from wrong.

Let's not even talk too much, sis. See what the Bible has to say about discipline.

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of correction will drive it far from him.

- Proverbs 22 vs 15

I'm an advocate of the rod of correction, as long as we know where to draw the line. I'm not even sure all these people shouting 'abuse' have children.

bukatyne:
An abused Nigerian child would tell his mother to calm down and even demonstrate sitting down to her?

It was obvious the mum is used to his theatrics and was even slightly amused. She kept on repeating 'give me your hand', and the child kept trying his best to distract her. There was a synergy to the whole drama, like something that has happened several times.

I don't know why we are even debating this matter. So much ado about nothing.

Klass99:


Lol , babe just die this yarn first.

When you meet the child I mentioned in my first post, na you go first ask for cane to flog the living daylights out of her.

You can also raise well behaved children in a loving way by using the rod appropriately and adequately, not sparing it - the rod.

Did you not school or live in Nigeria for a while? Were you not flogged or punished by teachers at school, relatives at home or your own parents? Did you not turn out okay? I did and I still love/appreciate each and everyone of those people.

A friend once told me that when you have kids you need to watch and understand each of them and know which disciplinary measures to apply with each child, because they are all different.

Her point was this - some children are more difficult and stubborn than others, those ones will require close marking, a firm hand and the rod. Others are okay but lazy and laid back, those ones will also require a different sort of training where they are pushed out of their laziness early so it doesn't follow them into adulthood.

I think you have said it all and if you don't understand that different children need different ways to discipline them then there is no way I can help you. I could remembered while I was younger and always go to the playground to play football almost everyday. I was being flogged to stop and yet I never stopped for a very long time. Now when I remember such scenario I tried to reason why I couldn't stop despite being flogged for it always. Children can be gentle, meek and very stubborn, depending on the one you have.

Ishilove:

Let's not even talk too much, sis. See what the Bible has to say about discipline.

- Proverbs 22 vs 15

I'm an advocate of the rod of correction, as long as we know where to draw the line. I'm not even sure all these people shouting 'abuse' have children.

True words!

bukatyne:
An abused Nigerian child would tell his mother to calm down and even demonstrate sitting down to her?

Exactly. That child is not even scared of the Mum at all. He still has the sense to demonstrate how she should lie. I swear that boy is just a comedian.

A child who is truly scared won't even be able to say a word, talk more of 'calm down'.

Ishilove:

Let's not even talk too much, sis. See what the Bible has to say about discipline.

- Proverbs 22 vs 15

I'm an advocate of the rod of correction, as long as we know where to draw the line. I'm not even sure all these people shouting 'abuse' have children.

UjuJoan2:


Some kids are very very dramatic. He may not be as terrified as he is pretending to be.

Remember children can be manipulative too. They do something wrong, knowing the consequences, yet do it anyway. Trust me if that mother is truly abusive, that boy will not won't even have the guts to say 'calm down'. As a matter of fact he will never even dare comit the crime in the first place.

My second child used to be the most stubborn and daring, and that's because she is so much like that little boy.

Anytime you want to discipline her she will scream and beg and tell you that you're going to kill her, that she loves you, that you are her mother, that she will never ever ever do it again. . . . . And the next second she's doing the same thing. I never used to be able to go through with spanking her because of her highly dramatic cries and pleas, untill I learned to ignore them. . . . I realised it was a tactic. Infact she bragged to her elder sister one day that "Mum can never spank her, that she will cry and beg and Mum will forgive her"

Let's just say she has now become loyal!

Lol, drama

I already like her, she discovered your mumu button very early

UjuJoan2:


Some kids are very very dramatic. He may not be as terrified as he is pretending to be.

Remember children can be manipulative too. They do something wrong, knowing the consequences, yet do it anyway. Trust me if that mother is truly abusive, that boy will not won't even have the guts to say 'calm down'. As a matter of fact he will never even dare comit the crime in the first place.

My second child used to be the most stubborn and daring, and that's because she is so much like that little boy.

Anytime you want to discipline her she will scream and beg and tell you that you're going to kill her, that she loves you, that you are her mother, that she will never ever ever do it again. . . . . And the next second she's doing the same thing. I never used to be able to go through with spanking her because of her highly dramatic cries and pleas, untill I learned to ignore them. . . . I realised it was a tactic. Infact she bragged to her elder sister one day that "Mum can never spank her, that she will cry and beg and Mum will forgive her"

Let's just say she has now become loyal!

Ladyhippolyta88:

Irony of life despite all the so called discipline which is flogging in this part of the world.
We don't love ourselves and we act bery bitter to others .
What is the later effect of the discipline(flogging) in a long run.
[b]Instead of parents to communicate and build relationships with their children they flog them to instill fear in them to the extent that this kids will later find it hard to communicate or open up to their parents or even question them self because before them fit talk they will receive flogging.[/b]Rubbish

That's exactly the way it is.

Ladyhippolyta88:

Exactly.The boy was terrified to me.

And I did not find that video funny

I can't listen to the video. It baffles me that people think it is funny. But brutalizing children in this country is the norm so comparatively this was only the tip of the iceberg.

Jullima:

NO you can’t! And that’s mighty bold and presumptuous of you to judge the parenting skills of a mother you don’t know because of a few minute video you watched. Mothers make videos of their children all the time and send to family. From what someone said upthread, she didn’t post it herself.

She did.

UjuJoan2:


Exactly.

I don't know why we like copying the westerners in everything. Look how their kids turn out. Teenage pregnancy is now a norm. Drug addicts and gangsters everywhere. Is that the ideal way of raising kids? Not 'abusing' them?

I'll "abuse" my kids anyday as far as they grow up to know right from wrong.

If you look at the statistics you will discover that teenage pregnancies in the West are more rampant among non-white ethnic groups, both in the US and the UK with the UK having the most teenage pregnancies from Black girls. What does it tell you?

Social class plays a big factor too. It's a complex topic. All I know is that I have seen and know brilliant kids who were raised by parents who knew other methods of discipline other than spanking, flogging and all the different forms of abuse that are rampant in Nigeria.

.

Hathor5:


She did.

Okayy

There’s still NOTHING in the video that suggests the boy is an abused child. Personally, I also don’t believe in spanking, I am more of a ‘see the errors of your ways, actions have consequences’ kind of mother. So your posts are right in the right context but not this one. There’s absolutely nothing that proves he’s been abused, even the Western country you quoted, spanking is LEGAL as long as it doesn’t cause injury to the child. There’s spanking and there’s spanking. So do you know the kind of spanking this boy was going to receive?? I hate it when people judge others without context.

“He’s terrified” lol really?? Have you been around children?? You’ve not seen children act like they’ve been shot just because you tell them to eat their food?

That’s why I don’t post family on social media, so many judgy people on the internet.

Klass99:
@ Hathor5,

Your choice of words over this matter is truly baffling, very out of place and out of proportion too.

You've gone from abuse to violence to brutalizing. Haba! what will you now call real abuse, violence and brutality when you see it?

Did you see the thread where a deaconess physically burnt and scarred the flesh of a young girl in her care? Or the one where another foolish woman badly injured her maid and she ended up being arrested along with her husband? That's abuse, violence and brutality. What Boko Haram does is all of that and more too.

Jeez Hathor just give it a break already! You say let's agree to disagree but then you come back with more vitriol (bitter criticism) over this and Nigerians as a whole.

Like I said before I wasn't impressed by that video BUT I didn't see anything wrong with it either and what you're calling abuse, violence etc is nothing but discipline to me.

If you don't like what I am writing here, don't read it.