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At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life - Family - Nairaland

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At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by YoungandDepress: 7:38pm On Aug 05, 2020
My story is quite a sad and long one.
I wish I could write it all out. My life has been a terrible mess.
Where did it go wrong for me, I have no idea.

I am writing with so much emotion, my heart is full and heavy.
Life is bitter.

I am a 23 years old guy.
My life all started to go in the negative direction when I gained admission at age 16.
A 16 years old boy in the university, so much freedom and exposure.
I messed up my life, I became addicted to bet9ja virtual gambling I lost focus, Gambling killed me, I started failing exams, at the end I dropped out without my parents Knowing, but the truth came out when I was supposed to graduate, I could not hide it anymore. I told them the truth, my parents forgave me like the prodigal son.

They still believed in me especially my mom, she keeps reminding me of how intelligent I used to be.

Well I'm not here to talk about my past life but here to talk about how it is still affecting me today.

Ever since I started university all over again, I have been miserable and frustrated. Nothing has been working in my favour. I'm currently now in 200level hoping to graduate before 25.
All my mates I started with have done their NYSC.

I'm still stuck in the same stage.
I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I'm young, broke and depressed. I get irritated over little things. I feel disgust at how I uselessed my youthful life. How gambling destroyed me.

By the grace of whichever god exists, I am no longer addicted to gambling. I have quit the addiction for almost a year now but nothing changed, I still feel miserable. I hate having people around me even my family members including my mom.

I have no true friends. Nobody checks on me, nobody calls me.

At this age, I can't boast of having 500 naira in my account.
I'm broke and miserable.

I have started hating God and question my belief in God. I hate Sunday's. I hate hearing about God, I don't blame God for my troubles but I'm angry at the fact that despite my parents being dedicated Christians, things are not working well in my family.
My elder ones are graduates, but no solid job yet.

Only my eldest brother who is doing quite well now and I thank God for his life but we don't talk. I can't remember the last time I called him on phone. They don't hate me, I hate myself.
I have disappointed them a lot.


I just lost the last #1000 I had in my life today and I cried. The money fell out my pocket when I went to get something.

At 23 years, I have no idea what I will do with my future.
I still live with my parents and I have never rented an apartment of my own even in school.

What is wrong with me, why am I miserable?

I have no good clothes. My clothes are all worn out.
I have nothing doing, i live off my parents.

Since schools were shut down, I have been at home doing nothing.
Completely broke, damaged and miserable.

Can my life be any better. What do I do. I am depressed.
I keep asking myself these questions but there
Seem to be no answer.

144 Likes 9 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by YoungandDepress: 7:38pm On Aug 05, 2020
cry
I know the sins of my past are catching up with me. Karma is hitting me from all directions.
I see my mates riding nice cars, living in their rented apartment, I cry.

Most of my classmates I finished secondary school with are now responsible graduates and here I am, stuck in 200level.

I see them in the street and I hide myself in shame and disgrace because I can't answer the catching up questions.

I still ask 500 naira from my parents just to go out.

I stayed through out the month of June without earning even one thousand naira by myself.

Sometimes I curse the day I was born and why I came through a mid level family and not a rich family.

God has abandoned me. I can't remember the last time I prayed. Not that I even care now.
I am turning into an atheist because of my frustrations.

Sometimes I think why not just die and end it all, I mean we are all going to die one day so what is the point, but then I think of my family and the shame it will bring upon them and at the same time I think what if I die and heaven and hell is real. It's funny how the thought of hell keeps me going and trying to do good with my life when I don't really believe in God anymore.


Safe to say, my suicidal tendencies are very low to non existent but I hope I have the courage to keep pushing. I hope one day, I just don't loose it completely.

Even my phone I am using to type this has a damaged screen which I'm half managing but it is what it is, I have no funds to fix it and no relative to help.

I mean I'm just here watching the days go by, taking evening walks around the neighborhood and thinking how my life would have been if I didn't mess it up or did all these happen to me so I can be a testimony to others if life decides to smile on me?
I have no idea.

I'M JUST A YOUNG, BROKE, MISERABLE AND DEPRESSED MAN.

I PRAY MY SOUL FINDS THE PEACE THAT IT DESPERATELY SEEKS.
cry

I just wanted to table my emotions here and vent out all the frustrations in my head because I have no one to talk deep with me. I hope to find little relief and seek solace in the peace of others.

94 Likes 6 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by gigante: 7:42pm On Aug 05, 2020
Brother please calm down, like you I'm a law undergraduate in 300 level at the same age with you. Yes admission frustrated me, i sat for jamb 4/5 times. Please calm down.

As for broke, aren't we undergraduates all broke? I know you feel like a failure but please calm down. Are you on WhatsApp? Can we talk privately?

Modified: Seeing as this has blown up and I'm seeing lots of younger people in the same shoes all depressed, and I'm getting lots of pms, i would like to offer an opportunity, where you pm me, and i will create a WhatsApp forum for us to share opportunities to each other. If you don't think it's a good idea please ignore, thanks.

PS: I have no ulterior motives, just a young person wishing to impact lives.

Send me a message on WhatsApp here, the pms are too much.

507 Likes 21 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by Kissiemu(m): 7:43pm On Aug 05, 2020
And you came to Nairaland where people that know what they want to do with their lives abi?

...I don't even know what to tell you.

109 Likes 2 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by flyingpig: 7:43pm On Aug 05, 2020
OP pm me please we need to discuss

27 Likes 5 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by flyingpig: 7:44pm On Aug 05, 2020
gigante:
Brother please calm down, like you I'm a law undergraduate in 300 level at the same age with you. Yes admission frustrated me, i sat for jamb 4/5 times. Please calm down.

As for broke, aren't we undergraduates all broke? I know you feel like a failure but please calm down. Are you on WhatsApp? Can we talk privately?
yes I want to discuss privately with him to let him know of my own conditions, he thinks he's having it tough, wait till he hears my own story. I can't share it here. Maybe he'll feel special after hearing worse stories. Pm me bro.

182 Likes 10 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by Nobody: 7:45pm On Aug 05, 2020
YoungandDepress: let's chat, okay? smiley

45 Likes 3 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by Nobody: 7:47pm On Aug 05, 2020
flyingpig:
yes I want to discuss privately with him to let him know of my own conditions, he thinks he's having it tough, wait till he hears my own story. I can't share it here. Maybe he'll feel special after hearing worse stories. Pm me bro.
Exactly! Depression isn't exclusive to a particular group of people. We all have it tough at some point or another.

59 Likes

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by Nobody: 7:49pm On Aug 05, 2020
We are born into depression, poverty, pain,agony&plight
Just don't make the attempt of committing suicide cause all am seeing here is depression which may later lead to anything
Please bro don't try anything stupid or funny
All this you wrote are just new born baby problem near mine if I tell you mine you'll think otherwise
Bro just keep praying hopefully God will answer you one day

92 Likes 5 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by gigante: 7:51pm On Aug 05, 2020
flyingpig:
yes I want to discuss privately with him to let him know of my own conditions, he thinks he's having it tough, wait till he hears my own story. I can't share it here. Maybe he'll feel special after hearing worse stories. Pm me bro.

Exactly, nobody has it easy in this country, he should take a deep breath and relax. I know what I'm going through, but i never allow how my supposed mates or friends look to intimidate or make me feel this down. Life no be race

An Igbo adage says, "Ebe onye oso ruru, onye ije ga eru", that is where the person running has reached, the walker will also reach.

Another one says"Dimkpa tochaa, o chere i be ya", when a man finish growing, he'll wait for the boys to meet up.

My guy please relax, pm me lets talk.

165 Likes 11 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by internationalman(m): 7:52pm On Aug 05, 2020
All I have to say is quit masturbation...

172 Likes 5 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by Nobody: 7:54pm On Aug 05, 2020
My matter pass your own
The day i wanted to commit suicide but couldn't... I started commending people that did....such bravery

I see myself as useless.. Moreover I'm the first born.. Many responsibilities .. No clothes.. Just two jeans..

School ma na useless course.. With frustrating lecturers ontop

Just find something that gives you small joy.. For me na trolling
Hold on.. As far as we de breathe life go better one day


Nigeria no get head

280 Likes 9 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by WonderWoman5775(f): 7:55pm On Aug 05, 2020
Life na jeje my brother, you are guy and still young no body is pursuing you and you even have elder siblings,
you don't have the pressure of getting married anytime soon or taking care of your parents, look for small hustle no matter how low the pay is and when school resumes see the work as side hustle and continue with school don't give up,
even if you don't graduate with perfect result you will look back and remember the sacrifice you paid to get that certificate and have the pride of a certicate holder
Get out of your comfort zone, no hustle is too small

89 Likes 1 Share

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by GboyegaD(m): 7:56pm On Aug 05, 2020
To all those who have tried reaching out to him to encourage him, you guys are the MVP.

OP, just calm yourself and remind yourself that your race is against yourself and not others.

155 Likes 4 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by poiunt: 7:56pm On Aug 05, 2020
Your approach to life is surprising... You are just 23 years of age...lot of time to explore life and get to know what works for you.

all over the world gambling is addictive..thank god, you know it is at 23 years old....my friend buckle yourself up..finish your education...you still have lot of things upward for you...why waste your youthful age regretting about nothing..move on

166 Likes 6 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by ethicallyright: 7:58pm On Aug 05, 2020
Childofdoom , come and carry your brother!

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by micfoley: 7:59pm On Aug 05, 2020
My brother , take it easy o. Believe me, no matter how bad your story is, people are going through worse. Some people have offered to speak to you, please take up their offer.


Most importantly, please find your way back to Christ. The most striking thing about your write up is that there is no peace in your heart. I may not know much about Christianity, but I know from experience that your heart will no longer be troubled once you find Jesus.


May God bless you as you rediscover yourself in Him

120 Likes 5 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by Nobody: 8:00pm On Aug 05, 2020
YoungandDepress:

I am turning into an atheist because of my frustrations.

Not only you bro
I went to church this Sunday since last year
August
If not for the Bible my believe is that there's no God

21 Likes

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by Mandela27: 8:04pm On Aug 05, 2020
Op calm down.
Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by Nobody: 8:06pm On Aug 05, 2020
internationalman:
All I have to say is quit masturbation...
Motherfucker angryTell me how this correlate with what the op his saying

64 Likes 1 Share

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by Regex: 8:09pm On Aug 05, 2020
YoungandDepress:
cry
I know the sins of my past are catching up with me. Karma is hitting me from all directions.
I see my mates riding nice cars, living in their rented apartment, I cry.

Most of my classmates I finished secondary school with are now responsible graduates and here I am, stuck in 200level.

I see them in the street and I hide myself in shame and disgrace because I can't answer the catching up questions.

I still ask 500 naira from my parents just to go out.

I stayed through out the month of June without earning even one thousand naira by myself.

Sometimes I curse the day I was born and why I came through a mid level family and not a rich family.

God has abandoned me. I can't remember the last time I prayed. Not that I even care now.
I am turning into an atheist because of my frustrations.


Hey buddy.. We are in the same boat. Funny right? Nope. Shall we talk? Zero Eight 0 Seven Five Seven Six 4 One Five Eight.

13 Likes

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by Nobody: 8:11pm On Aug 05, 2020
DamonSalvatore:

The day i wanted to commit suicide but couldn't
Same here bro mine was 2018
And any attempt of succeeding that bad act
They won't find my body cause I went into a..... Ha jeez
I pray all we struggling nigars make it in life embarassed

50 Likes

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by Skankamola: 8:38pm On Aug 05, 2020
...typical story of gamblers, that is what it does when you become addicted: wrecked and hopeless. Theres the story of two guys who gambled with their bosses $10k dollars during the last world cup and lost it, they ended up jumping off a 14 storey building. There was another story here about a guy who lost about 800k on gambling in a single day, imagine that becomes a habit especially as a student, what remains of you? lost without savings, relationships and focus. It is the wrong hobby you picked up that put you where you are today. You are lucky you have realised its a waste of your youth, its time to pick up your books again and forget about such vices. Dont feel ashamed of anything for a bit. Just be patient with your self and focus on what you want to achieve, and make a plan for it. There is alot more you can be successful at. Maybe you should learn a trade at your spare time.

47 Likes 1 Share

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by YoungandDepress: 9:11pm On Aug 05, 2020
flyingpig:
yes I want to discuss privately with him to let him know of my own conditions, he thinks he's having it tough, wait till he hears my own story. I can't share it here. Maybe he'll feel special after hearing worse stories. Pm me bro.

I just PMed you bro. Don't mind the name on my email. I created it so as to stay anonymous.

2 Likes

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by YoungandDepress: 9:13pm On Aug 05, 2020
Dew04:
YoungandDepress: let's chat, okay? smiley
Thanks, I just sent you a mail.
Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by Epositive(m): 9:16pm On Aug 05, 2020
Mr younganddepress,

Being in 300L at 23 shouldn't make you feel bad. I'm in 300L too, after spending 4 years at home. I thought my case was bad till I gained admission. When I saw mamas and papas dragging queue with me for screening in the faculty. I just calmed down. undecided

Again, you said you are broke. Lol, ain't we all broke? You can hook up with the hustlers in your streets even if it's car wash, waiter or any available job, try and engage yourself. You can't make money by mere crossing of legs and reminiscing. That you are intelligent won't automatically make you a fortune if you don't act on it. What's your talent and area of interests, what are you doing to develop them?

Look, it's not easy anywhere. Now that you have overcome the gambling habit, the next best thing is for you to look out for yourself. Bros, look for work and do. It's not advisable that you learn trade based on your narrative, but try and engage yourself. You seems too optimistic rather that staying in tune with reality. angry

Stop comparing yourself with others. It only breeds low self-esteem and self-loathing. undecided Don't be a victim of peer pressure and juvenile delinquency. Reduce your expectations. Reorient yourself and you will be fine. cool

NB: All the religious talks are inconsequential. Get over it and be realistic. undecided

134 Likes 7 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by BeLookingIDIOT(m): 9:16pm On Aug 05, 2020
This one has close to 500 naira shocked in his account and he's complaining.

46 Likes

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by Karlifate: 9:20pm On Aug 05, 2020
YoungandDepress, I'm not a motivational speaker but I'll try to encourage you with these few words of mine.
Firstly, life ain't fair, so don't expect it to be. Accept that you've made mistakes in the past & turn them to life-long lessons. Stop beating yourself up over what you cannot change. The past is the past, you have the present, use it to change the future.
Secondly, have you ever thought that you're still alive for a reason? Discover that reason. It will you give you more insight about who you are. Confidence is not accidental, it is a resultant of something. That "something" may mean an achieved purpose.
Lastly, everyone needs a 'hope' to hold on to, that's why some people choose God cos it gives that hope they crave for. Don't give up cos you'll look back to laugh at this day.
Take care!

46 Likes 5 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by YoungandDepress: 9:21pm On Aug 05, 2020
Skankamola:
...typical story of gamblers, that is what it does when you become addicted: wrecked and hopeless. Theres the story of two guys who gambled with their bosses $10k dollars during the last world cup and lost it, they ended up jumping off a 14 storey building. There was another story here about a guy who lost about 800k on gambling in a single day, imagine that becomes a habit especially as a student, what remains of you? lost without savings, relationships and focus. It is the wrong hobby you picked up that put you where you are today. You are lucky you have realised its a waste of your youth, its time to pick up your books again and forget about such vices. Dont feel ashamed of anything for a bit. Just be patient with your self and focus on what you want to achieve, and make a plan for it. There is alot more you can be successful at. Maybe you should learn a trade at your spare time.

I regret my past daily. I think about it all the time but it does me no good. I have accepted my fate and moved on but like they say the evil that men do surely lives with them.
I'm suffering from the consequences of what I brought upon myself and pray life gets better for me.

Thank you for your advice.

13 Likes

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by paulolee(m): 9:23pm On Aug 05, 2020
guy pls calm down, we all think that our case is worst until we hear others, the positive i got from your story are
1..you are still an undergraduate, my guy so many nigees for street no even get bar to buy jamb form and i know of a close friend that hustle money to get the form and was given admission but still not in school because him sponsor wey bin promise am letter change plans and fail the gee
2..you have 500 in ur aza and you are complaining, what about some that dnt even know what thier aza looks like because they gat no hope about anything concerning alerr and who to wire them..
lastly i went to play ball with my guys last sunday and a guy refused playing because he was very Hungry and sounds soo depressed saying he wants to end his life, we gathered money for him to eat, up to 2k and asked him to keep the change..
but he got the shocker when my team captain told him the story of his elder bro is in prison for 15yrs now because he was with 2 of his neighbors watching football in a bar when trouble happened, there was a little argument as they were watching the match and one of his friend ended up stabbing and killing the only son of a military man...
presently two of the guys are awaiting trial till now because one of them died due to health complications...
the school refused pleading for them saying that they are cultist and the painful part about the story was that the military man letter died since last 6 years leaving the case on pending and now they have nobody to plead because the wife died while birthing the late boy...na GOD hand the matter still de like this, thats if they are still in good condition..

47 Likes 3 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by annayawchee: 9:32pm On Aug 05, 2020
If only you know there are people who walked with burden more heavier than yours, you will fall down and thank God.....

You goofed your first admission ba??

Still got another and you have parents who are willing to spend on you...

Put yourself in the shoes of smarter kids who had no one to pay their tuition ..

Be grateful!!!

68 Likes 4 Shares

Re: At 23 Years Old, I Have No Idea What I Am Doing With My Life by busky101(m): 9:33pm On Aug 05, 2020
YoungandDepress:
My story is quite a sad and long one.
I wish I could write it all out. My life has been a terrible mess.
Where did it go wrong for me, I have no idea.

I am writing with so much emotion, my heart is full and heavy.
Life is bitter.

I am a 23 years old guy.
My life all started to go in the negative direction when I gained admission at age 16.
A 16 years old boy in the university, so much freedom and exposure.
I messed up my life, I became addicted to bet9ja virtual gambling I lost focus, Gambling killed me, I started failing exams, at the end I dropped out without my parents Knowing, but the truth came out when I was supposed to graduate, I could not hide it anymore. I told them the truth, my parents forgave me like the prodigal son.

They still believed in me especially my mom, she keeps reminding me of how I intelligent I used to be.

Well I'm not here to talk about my past life but here to talk about how it is still affecting me today.

Ever since I started university all over again, I have been miserable and frustrated. Nothing has been working in my favour. I'm currently now in 200level hoping to graduate before 25.
All my mates I started with have done their NYSC.

I'm still stuck in the same stage.
I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I'm young, broke and depressed. I get irritated over little things. I feel disgust at how I uselessed my youthful life. How gambling destroyed me.

By the grace of whichever god exists, I am no longer addicted to gambling. I have quit the addiction for almost a year now but nothing changed, I still feel miserable. I hate having people around me even my family members including my mom.

I have no true friends. Nobody checks on me, nobody calls me.

At this age, I can't boast of having 500 naira in my account.
I'm broke and miserable.

I have started hating God and question my belief in God. I hate Sunday's. I hate hearing about God, I don't blame God for my troubles but I'm angry at the fact that despite my parents being dedicated Christians, things are not working well in my family.
My elder ones are graduates, but no solid job yet.

Only my eldest brother who is doing quite well now and I thank God for his life but we don't talk. I can't remember the last time I called him on phone. They don't hate me, I hate myself.
I have disappointed them a lot.


I just lost the last #1000 I had in my life today and I cried. The money fell out my pocket when I went to get something.

At 23 years, I have no idea what I will do with my future.
I still live with my parents and I have never rented an apartment of my own even in school.

What is wrong with me, why am I miserable?

I have no good clothes. My clothes are all worn out.
I have nothing doing, i live off my parents.

Since schools were shut down, I have been at home doing nothing.
Completely broke, damaged and miserable.

Can my life be any better. What do I do. I am depressed.
I keep asking myself these questions but there
Seem to be no answer.



Please send me a pm asap

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