All of you saying mummy's boy so the excuse the guy gave is not ok? Instead of wasting money for rent won't it be better the man divert such money to building thier own house? The truth is most ladies don't want thier husband mother around them, forgetting one day you too will become a mother. I stayed in my parents house for like a year before I moved to my own and we all lived happily as one family infact my wife became more closer to my mum than me.

The man is a "mummy's boy" and is a recipe for bad marriage. Your sister is right.

If we go biblical, "...for this reason shall a MAN leave his parents..." Clealy, the man is still a boy.

Why did she even accept proposal from a man that is tied to his mama’s apron? ... all that stress just to cancel wedding.. na now her day break!??

The man has already stressed his attachment to his mom to the extent that he doesn't want to leave her. Your sister should be careful here because his mom obviously means a whole lot to him and he looks like a man who'll go through great lengths to please his mom at the detriment of anybody.

One challenge here is that, your sister's fiancee may not be man enough to handle marriage problems on his own. He's likely to discuss almost every marital problem with his mom and even go to the extent of reporting your sister to her. This can be very uncomfortable.

If he still insists on staying with his mom, then your sister should discuss with him and get involved in the Building plans. There should be a timeline and plan for how long he'll be staying there. It shouldn't be left till further notice.

I pray for God's wisdom for her in this very sensitive issue.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

if the relationship didn't work, abeg DM your sister number, I go marry her if she is beautiful inside n outside

Here

They should meet halfway somehow..

Mgtowmonk:
can't your sister rent an apartment with her own money?
The Guy Is Doing Her A Favor By Marrying Her yet she still dictating how he should live his life

tell me abt it

If the young man is employed and earns a reasonable sum of money (reasonable enough to build a house as promised in no distant time), then it makes no sense to cancel the wedding.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed



Is my sister doing the right thing?

YES

Mgtowmonk:
can't your sister rent an apartment with her own money?
The guy is doing her a favor by marrying her yet she still dictating how he should live his life

What nonsense talk is that. Na children full this nairaland now. No common sense. How can someone decide to marry a woman and want to house her with his mother. If he isnt ready to leave his mother and father and cling to his wife he is definitely not ready for marriage .

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

Yes she is doing the best thing. Kudos to her.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

She's right.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

Your sister is actually avoiding trouble, however, she's doing it harshly.

The problem with living with a MIL in her own house is that, that is literally her house. Your sister has no certain rights in her husbands house. It is even worst than being a second wife.

Everything depends on the kind of person the MIL and your sister is.

Outright cancellation of the wedding means your sister may not be head over heels with the guy and the MIL can use it against her. You sister doesn't need to be blunt as the stake has been stacked against her already.

Your sister needs to deal with her MIL directly not through the son. Your sister needs some understanding from the MIL and only she can let the boy go.

yes she is

..she's 101% right. She and the husband need private space more than a jumbo jet immediately they are joined together..

She should really review and weigh her options, if the guy has reasonable reasons and presents his case with regard not so authoritatively then she should re consider.

I have a friend who stayed with her in-law initially before moving in to their own house. Infact she was so embarrassed to tell me about it
she is a Pharm while her husband worked in an oil company as an Engr and he was an only child,she would have regretted her life if she had left for that reason. It wasn't so smooth but now she is everyone's envy, they are both very happy now. So she should consider, Is the boy an only child 0r son? Is the house very spacious, is he trying to save cost? Are his plans to build a house soon feasible? These are things to be considered since it won't be permanent.

Premium tears loading!!! To u op.... that sister is you ..if you knw wat you re doing ..u better not Post pond the wedding... that's the kind of guys women are dieying to have...never throw stone if you live in a Glass House... women are praying for husband's...come to abuja and see...even here on NL..

Roheemah04:
She's doing the right thing

Shed more light

She is definitely doing the right thing.

A lot of senseless comment from the so called Alpha. A man who wants to get married should have at least a room of his own (not the one in his parents' house)

Un behalf of my sister I won't a accept that marriage.

You have no business with marriage if you don't have your own apartment as a man.

debola33:
All of you saying mummy's boy so the excuse the guy gave is not ok? Instead of wasting money for rent won't it be better the man divert such money to building thier own house? The truth is most ladies don't want thier husband mother around them, forgetting one day you too will become a mother. I stayed in my parents house for like a year before I moved to my own and we all lived happily as one family infact my wife became more closer to my mum than me.

The ideal thing is what the lady wants. If there is separation of property, it is better. I mean that they can move to a property owned by the mother. Nine times out of ten, it is best to manage your small room than stay with your parents in their house.

Fulfillment is in personal achievements, not marriage

Even heaven is not rated by single or married but by PERSONAL CHARACTER

Allow her to make own decisions and live with it

debola33:
All of you saying mummy's boy so the excuse the guy gave is not ok? Instead of wasting money for rent won't it be better the man divert such money to building thier own house? The truth is most ladies don't want thier husband mother around them, forgetting one day you too will become a mother. I stayed in my parents house for like a year before I moved to my own and we all lived happily as one family infact my wife became more closer to my mum than me.

Your mum is a good woman likewise your wife.

You don't wanna take that risk if it were another case. The damage is forever.

Men are easy but women!

She has looked at the situation closely.
She's not against the family, but she sees them living in the family/Mums house for a long time.
1,2,3,4,5,6 years.
No privacy. No allowing the couple just enjoy each others company for the first few years.
Plus your Mum will have other family members coming over, friends etc. Always having people in the house and she having no control over her home.
Also, he doesn't want his Mum to be 'lonely'? This man does not have plan to build his own house yet.
This is not an issue to cancel the wedding over, dialogue is key, renting an apartment is a fair demand, I hope she works and earns income to support the family.

That's definitely the right thing. If he's not ready to rent an apartment, he shouldn't get married. My neighbor built a house with over 10 rooms and made all his children live there with their wives. You should see North Korea threatening America right there

Baleeson:
Premium tears loading!!! To u op.... that sister is you ..if you knw wat you re doing ..u better not Post pond the wedding... that's the kind of guys women are dieying to have...never throw stone if you live in a Glass House... women are praying for husband's...come to abuja and see...even here on NL..

So she should have no dignity or decency because she wants to marry?

What if it is a different flat in the same compound ,will she still end the wedding

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

PapaNnamdi:
if I get the guy number,


I for tell am,

to stop calling that your sister or seeing her for 2months,

and see who looses,

marriage favours women only,




he will get an apartment now, and 6months later the woman floods the house with her own family members including OP,
all surviving on the man,


rubbish and hushpuppy

Hahahaha hahaha.. @ the bolded.. Bros na that one pain you pass ?

loneprof:


The guy no get money. You are a man too, you should understand. How did they manage to take the relationship to marriage level without ironing that out first. Maybe na the girl dey hurry am up sef. After they will say men don't want to marry.

Bro I always stand by the fact that a man should never get married until he is financially secure. We see all these almajiri, touts, rascals and armed robbers on the streets that were a product of being born into abject poverty and had to fend for themselves by involving in vices et al.

This is the problem we have in Nigeria - we feel once we get to a certain age we just have to get married and that's a very wrong precedent. I keep saying it from time to time no man or woman should get married until they are financially and emotional mature to brace the tides of marriage.

If the man is not financially ready he should not get married, period.

Where I come from it's a disgrace for a son to get married and move into his parents home with his wife. The only exception to this is if the man inherited the house then they can move in there.

I just made a call to an architect and building contractor of mine and he told me a self contained ranges from 200k - 450k in Lagos and lesser in other states. A 1 room in a face me I face you should go for berween 80k - 150k in Lagos and lesser in other states.

My brother if the man and the lady start saving they can at least afford the face me I face you if the self contained is too expensive. It's just wrong to move in with his wife to live with the mum. He is a man and should have that pride.

This is just my opinion and it will never change. Cheers bro

Your sister did the right thing IMO. Why on Earth would someone that calls himself a man move into his mom's abode after wedding. He is just trying to set unnecessary flame btw his mom and dad poor gal. After wedding, couple are supposed to be alone, enjoy themselves and discover themselves without any third party poking around. The only near justifiable reason for a man to move in to his mom abode is if she is critically ill that his attention is needed always.

T.O.Darling