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I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. - Family (12) - Nairaland

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Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by Nobody: 4:35am On Aug 12, 2020
Dpundict:
I broke up with a lady because of something almost that nature. She wakes up and heads to the bathroom to poo and without bathing after pooing she will go and cook. As she is cooking she will come back to the bathroom and poo again before brushing thereafter she will head back to the kitchen without bathing. I hate the use of tissues after defeating so you can't find it in my apartment and i expect to bathe immediately after defeating but no she doesn't and after several times of correcting her i got a chronic case of pinworm infection which took me several deworming pills to cure. It happened just two days after she left and it was clear where i got it from as i am not a person who eat outside my house or even buy prepared food from eateries. I called it quit.

You are a problematic person. Why did you insist that she must bathe whenever she poos? When you could have told her to clean herself up with water, and wash her hands with soap and water.

You poo with one part of the body, not the entire body, you know.

4 Likes

Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by Abimeh: 5:15am On Aug 12, 2020
That's the way my husband is @op. I am 7 years in marriage and it's not so easy living with this kind of person. I feel your pain.

2 Likes

Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by ruffkenny: 5:25am On Aug 12, 2020
Be the man bro,write a card,place it on the sink with gum.."Do not brush your teeth or spit in the kitchen sink rather use the sink in one of our two toilets"
And don't take it slightly anyday she flaunts your order,she must follow this rule everyday..no spitting in kitcken,no loitering with a mouth full paste to the rooms or the kitchen..and never apologize for trying to teach and correct your wife,she should be the one appologizing, for being wrong,play the silent no talking games with her better than she can play until she comes to beg you,she is a woman and she too can't stand the silence,I mean they are weaker than we men,so don't apologize out of pity and keep condoling this shit and trash because she will never get the message if u keep doing this,keep talking until she stops this after all she is like your younger sister,so she can learn from you..
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by XaintJoel20: 5:51am On Aug 12, 2020
infogenerator:
I'm sorry about what you have to endure. You've a serious trouble in your hand bro, a woman who doesn't seem to see anything wrong in her error, doesn't take corrections, and hisses at her man every opportunity she gets, will most definitely fustrated you out of marriage.

To be honest, the least of your problem is her dirtiness. Luckily for you, neatness is something that can be learnt, so with the right attitude and mindset she can even become neater than you.

Your real problem is her attitude. I'm glad you've never gotten physical with her, please do well to maintain that, irrespective of what others might tell you .

Following your narrative, I'm assuming you've tried to talk her out of this disrectful attitudes, still it persists. You need to talk to someone she respects and listens to. Does she have parents, siblings or relations make that person your ally. I'm sure she will rethink things.

If after the efforts nothing changes or she gets even worse, please consider the fact that you might be in a wrong marriage.


This is the best advice.

1 Like

Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by sisisioge: 6:02am On Aug 12, 2020
Hmmmm...the way little things could evolve into huge things sha. We all have our nasty habits that others would find offensive too. Easiest way to fix this is to just talk to her about beginning and ending her brushing in one place and stylishly enforcing without causing fights. How? Next time she wants to brush her teeth, get in the bathroom with her and start yours too....stay by the door and ensure nobody goes out until you're both done. You could swat her bum or be playful with her boooobs while at it. Do this consistently for a week and ensure you thank her for complying all the time. She will comply... It doesn't take beyond two minutes to brush, its a good deal to spend that time achieving your goal amicably than to spend several hours disintegrating your union biko. Good luck.

3 Likes

Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by ireneidiva(f): 6:20am On Aug 12, 2020
michoim:
Irritating comment
Your opinion.
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by ireneidiva(f): 6:21am On Aug 12, 2020
Xisnin:
Yes, probably after engagement. It is the new normal for those who wants a peaceful home.
Everyone with a peaceful home lived together before marriage?
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by Nobody: 6:34am On Aug 12, 2020
lefulefu:
all those wives wey pastors dey get for vision say na ur wife to be..do u have time to court such wives? cheesy.as pastor get the vision just marry the woman sharp sharp cheesy
I don't think any pastor can tell me a full grown woman who my partner is.
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by unmask: 6:42am On Aug 12, 2020
manos:
Note: it's a bit long... I could have summarized but I want those contributing to get a crystal clear picture of the situation, so that they can give better and specific advice.

The major problem here is that she mixes up things to be done in the kitchen with things done only in the toilet.

I have been married to my wife for over a year now (no kids yet) and there are certain unhygienic habits she has been displaying, since we started living together. I have been seeking ways to help her improve on it, but a calm correction from me always leads to a bitter argument between us. (She claims I complain too much whenever I point it out)

For example, she always clears her throat early in the morning and spits in the kitchen sink. (despite the fact that we have 2 toilets with wash hand basins; one in the room and also a guest toilet, with a wash-hand basin which is basically 3 steps from the kitchen). Then she goes to the bathroom, gets her toothbrush and comes back to the kitchen to brush her teeth, while doing several things with toothpaste and saliva drooling from her mouth all through.

The other day, she prepared breakfast (spaghetti) for both of us with the drooling toothpaste mouth and i refused to eat from it. I didn't complain to her either, until she asked why I didn't take my portion of the spaghetti from the pot, later that evening. I mentioned to her that, as always I find it disgusting to eat spaghetti, seasoned with toothpaste drool and saliva. The response I got from her was a hiss and then she said that, next time I should inform her if I am not going to eat the food she cooked so that she would not cook for me."

I let that slide but I felt she missed the point. The next day was her birthday and I decided to prepare breakfast for her.
While I was in the kitchen cooking, she came in with the same drooling toothpaste mouth to take a kitchen Scissors in order to cut something on her pants, even though we have another scissors in the room for such purposes. In the process of trying to pick the scissors, her hands which were covered with toothpaste drool had to cross the pot which I was cooking with. I mentioned to her that I was not comfortable with that and she just hissed as usual, still picked the Scissors and left the kitchen while angrily saying that I am just a complainer. I lost it at this point and proceeded to give her a lecture in anger about basic hygiene and why I can not keep quiet over these things because we live in a shared space and how her actions have a direct effect on me. It ended in a shouting match till she kept quiet, without accepting she was wrong.

This is the pattern almost everything takes when I try to correct her. The worst part is that I would still have to be the one to apologize for shouting at her because if I don't, I might be subjected to a week long silent treatment which I dread.

There are other more unhygienic things that are done by her, which I might not be able to post here due to the fact that I am not completely anonymous and she is still my wife but I hope this information is enough for someone to understand my frustration and profer a solution.
divorce her
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by Areaboy2(m): 7:44am On Aug 12, 2020
thesicilian:

I can bet my next 6 months salary that you're not married.

Make i add my own 2 months join angry

1 Like

Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by alpharoyalty: 7:50am On Aug 12, 2020
Op, this is a very simple issue, how you handle it is what should be considered. Both of you are adults, everyone has a good side, and a time when you can get the best out of them.
All you need to do is to wait for when your wife is very happy and playing with you, quietly bring it up with wisdom. Marriage thrives where wisdom is applied, tell her how much you love and respect her as a wife and how happy you are to be her husband but then she should pls consider this only thing that makes you unhappy, you will be a very happy husband of only she can work on it. Even if she is a devil, calmness will come out from her when you show her love. Nobody is perfect, try to continously pray for her and show her love more than criticism. I wish your marriage all the best.

1 Like

Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by banio: 8:32am On Aug 12, 2020
manos:
Note: it's a bit long... I could have summarized but I want those contributing to get a crystal clear picture of the situation, so that they can give better and specific advice.

The major problem here is that she mixes up things to be done in the kitchen with things done only in the toilet.

I have been married to my wife for over a year now (no kids yet) and there are certain unhygienic habits she has been displaying, since we started living together. I have been seeking ways to help her improve on it, but a calm correction from me always leads to a bitter argument between us. (She claims I complain too much whenever I point it out)

For example, she always clears her throat early in the morning and spits in the kitchen sink. (despite the fact that we have 2 toilets with wash hand basins; one in the room and also a guest toilet, with a wash-hand basin which is basically 3 steps from the kitchen). Then she goes to the bathroom, gets her toothbrush and comes back to the kitchen to brush her teeth, while doing several things with toothpaste and saliva drooling from her mouth all through.

The other day, she prepared breakfast (spaghetti) for both of us with the drooling toothpaste mouth and i refused to eat from it. I didn't complain to her either, until she asked why I didn't take my portion of the spaghetti from the pot, later that evening. I mentioned to her that, as always I find it disgusting to eat spaghetti, seasoned with toothpaste drool and saliva. The response I got from her was a hiss and then she said that, next time I should inform her if I am not going to eat the food she cooked so that she would not cook for me."

I let that slide but I felt she missed the point. The next day was her birthday and I decided to prepare breakfast for her.
While I was in the kitchen cooking, she came in with the same drooling toothpaste mouth to take a kitchen Scissors in order to cut something on her pants, even though we have another scissors in the room for such purposes. In the process of trying to pick the scissors, her hands which were covered with toothpaste drool had to cross the pot which I was cooking with. I mentioned to her that I was not comfortable with that and she just hissed as usual, still picked the Scissors and left the kitchen while angrily saying that I am just a complainer. I lost it at this point and proceeded to give her a lecture in anger about basic hygiene and why I can not keep quiet over these things because we live in a shared space and how her actions have a direct effect on me. It ended in a shouting match till she kept quiet, without accepting she was wrong.

This is the pattern almost everything takes when I try to correct her. The worst part is that I would still have to be the one to apologize for shouting at her because if I don't, I might be subjected to a week long silent treatment which I dread.

There are other more unhygienic things that are done by her, which I might not be able to post here due to the fact that I am not completely anonymous and she is still my wife but I hope this information is enough for someone to understand my frustration and profer a solution.

Sorry bro. Personally I prefer brushing my teeth in the kitchen. The toilet seems like it's entering my throat with defecation. Just try to clean as much as You can. Women are all the same. Provided she doesn't cheat then try to manage. No where easy. My wife lazy too, I am also managing
.

1 Like

Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by stickle(m): 8:32am On Aug 12, 2020
I can relate with what what you are saying.
Without trying to sound religious but out of experience, please keep praying for your wife. You can't change anybody, only Holy Spirit can.
But inspire of this you will not keep quiet, you must keep pointing them out while praying for God to help her to understand.
May God heal your marriage
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by Nobody: 8:54am On Aug 12, 2020
My dear, you have to overlook somethings so that you can have peace. If brushing onthe kitchen sink is a problem, tell her to wash the sink when she is done.

I don't see anything in using the kitchen scissors to cut something on her pant. That is how my brother came to collect my sewing scissors to cut his toe nails but will I do and beat him. I let it go.

My dear, na you go taya. Better leave the woman alone. As long as she did not poison you. If it is toothpaste, shebishe serve the food hot, all the germs are dead. Moreover, you kiss that mouth so better just move on. Though keep telling her but move on.
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by Nobody: 9:17am On Aug 12, 2020
lefulefu:
she is obviously not happy in the marriage.she was forced.the hissing she hisses when op says he tries to correct her unhygenic habit isenuf proof she doesnt like the marriage.A lady that loves the man she is married to will listen when the man tries to advice her.anyway nigerian marriages na stress.

You are right. That's another angle, meaning she may have alternative route out of the marriage if he stress further. Let family and religious leaders wade in first to know her mind.
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by MorningStar233: 9:17am On Aug 12, 2020
[quote author=heendrix post=92697515]

Exactly infact I wonder how some men are created. anyways ion know what I'll do sha cause I can't imagine the person I'm taking care of her responsibility hissing at me [/q

Which mumu responsibility are you taking care of. Make we hear word
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by Segunsimple: 9:21am On Aug 12, 2020
RE: I CAN'T STAND MY WIFE'S DIRTY HABIT

Work more on her with God"s wisdom and patience. Habits are hard to change; you need to take this bitter truth. Think of her as being an essential complimentary part of you and you will be able to garner the courage to continue building and sustaining the home.
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by Prettychild(f): 9:36am On Aug 12, 2020
manos:
Note: it's a bit long... I could have summarized but I want those contributing to get a crystal clear picture of the situation, so that they can give better and specific advice.

The major problem here is that she mixes up things to be done in the kitchen with things done only in the toilet.

I have been married to my wife for over a year now (no kids yet) and there are certain unhygienic habits she has been displaying, since we started living together. I have been seeking ways to help her improve on it, but a calm correction from me always leads to a bitter argument between us. (She claims I complain too much whenever I point it out)

For example, she always clears her throat early in the morning and spits in the kitchen sink. (despite the fact that we have 2 toilets with wash hand basins; one in the room and also a guest toilet, with a wash-hand basin which is basically 3 steps from the kitchen). Then she goes to the bathroom, gets her toothbrush and comes back to the kitchen to brush her teeth, while doing several things with toothpaste and saliva drooling from her mouth all through.

The other day, she prepared breakfast (spaghetti) for both of us with the drooling toothpaste mouth and i refused to eat from it. I didn't complain to her either, until she asked why I didn't take my portion of the spaghetti from the pot, later that evening. I mentioned to her that, as always I find it disgusting to eat spaghetti, seasoned with toothpaste drool and saliva. The response I got from her was a hiss and then she said that, next time I should inform her if I am not going to eat the food she cooked so that she would not cook for me."

I let that slide but I felt she missed the point. The next day was her birthday and I decided to prepare breakfast for her.
While I was in the kitchen cooking, she came in with the same drooling toothpaste mouth to take a kitchen Scissors in order to cut something on her pants, even though we have another scissors in the room for such purposes. In the process of trying to pick the scissors, her hands which were covered with toothpaste drool had to cross the pot which I was cooking with. I mentioned to her that I was not comfortable with that and she just hissed as usual, still picked the Scissors and left the kitchen while angrily saying that I am just a complainer. I lost it at this point and proceeded to give her a lecture in anger about basic hygiene and why I can not keep quiet over these things because we live in a shared space and how her actions have a direct effect on me. It ended in a shouting match till she kept quiet, without accepting she was wrong.

This is the pattern almost everything takes when I try to correct her. The worst part is that I would still have to be the one to apologize for shouting at her because if I don't, I might be subjected to a week long silent treatment which I dread.

There are other more unhygienic things that are done by her, which I might not be able to post here due to the fact that I am not completely anonymous and she is still my wife but I hope this information is enough for someone to understand my frustration and profer a solution.
Yuck! She is sha dirty O! Pregnancy own go worse O! But these are signs you could have easily noticed during courtship na. Since you went ahead to marry her that shows that you can manage it. Talk to someone close to her in her family.
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by Nobody: 9:48am On Aug 12, 2020
Keep correcting her in love. Be sound in patience and deliberately commit the issue to God in prayer. Don't be ignorant of the strategy of the enemy to destroy your home. Finally, social media is not the best platform to seek advice on marital issues.
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by peacesampson(f): 9:58am On Aug 12, 2020
Reading this only is already making me want to vomit...gosh, I wonder why some persons just choose to be dirty ...how can one brush her teeth in the. Kitchen....I suggest u talk to her more when she is in a good mood ..school her..u can still talk to the mother...maybe it wil help
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by YUSTECH3(m): 10:06am On Aug 12, 2020
No marriage is completely balance.. try to adhere and continue correcting her in a good way she will later yield to yr advice..though may be long or short period
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by Galactico4ever(m): 10:11am On Aug 12, 2020
manos:
Note: it's a bit long... I could have summarized but I want those contributing to get a crystal clear picture of the situation, so that they can give better and specific advice.

The major problem here is that she mixes up things to be done in the kitchen with things done only in the toilet.

I have been married to my wife for over a year now (no kids yet) and there are certain unhygienic habits she has been displaying, since we started living together. I have been seeking ways to help her improve on it, but a calm correction from me always leads to a bitter argument between us. (She claims I complain too much whenever I point it out)

For example, she always clears her throat early in the morning and spits in the kitchen sink. (despite the fact that we have 2 toilets with wash hand basins; one in the room and also a guest toilet, with a wash-hand basin which is basically 3 steps from the kitchen). Then she goes to the bathroom, gets her toothbrush and comes back to the kitchen to brush her teeth, while doing several things with toothpaste and saliva drooling from her mouth all through.

The other day, she prepared breakfast (spaghetti) for both of us with the drooling toothpaste mouth and i refused to eat from it. I didn't complain to her either, until she asked why I didn't take my portion of the spaghetti from the pot, later that evening. I mentioned to her that, as always I find it disgusting to eat spaghetti, seasoned with toothpaste drool and saliva. The response I got from her was a hiss and then she said that, next time I should inform her if I am not going to eat the food she cooked so that she would not cook for me."

I let that slide but I felt she missed the point. The next day was her birthday and I decided to prepare breakfast for her.
While I was in the kitchen cooking, she came in with the same drooling toothpaste mouth to take a kitchen Scissors in order to cut something on her pants, even though we have another scissors in the room for such purposes. In the process of trying to pick the scissors, her hands which were covered with toothpaste drool had to cross the pot which I was cooking with. I mentioned to her that I was not comfortable with that and she just hissed as usual, still picked the Scissors and left the kitchen while angrily saying that I am just a complainer. I lost it at this point and proceeded to give her a lecture in anger about basic hygiene and why I can not keep quiet over these things because we live in a shared space and how her actions have a direct effect on me. It ended in a shouting match till she kept quiet, without accepting she was wrong.

This is the pattern almost everything takes when I try to correct her. The worst part is that I would still have to be the one to apologize for shouting at her because if I don't, I might be subjected to a week long silent treatment which I dread.

There are other more unhygienic things that are done by her, which I might not be able to post here due to the fact that I am not completely anonymous and she is still my wife but I hope this information is enough for someone to understand my frustration and profer a solution.
But that's a very disgusting act that she does on a daily basis. You must be a cool,calm and tolerating guy.
A friend broke up with his fiancee few days before their wedding bcuz she always left the toilet unflushed after using.

My advice since you are married is to have a heart 2heart talk first with her B4 any 3rd party. And should you decide to invite such a person, let it be someone she listens to and respects, someone she'll be ashamed to tell such things.

1 Like

Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by Annypee: 10:30am On Aug 12, 2020
Exactly what just happened few minutes ago in my working place! A coleug of mine just brushed right inside the kitchen sink instead of the wash hand bassin in the toilet and when we tried to correct him, he felt it was an insult to him.

1 Like

Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by Juliearth(f): 10:33am On Aug 12, 2020
merieam16:
Prove her wrong by doin wat exactly? by nt eating her food, doin his marital duties or beating her. please I'm awaiting ur answer




Your response to my comment seems aggressive and I do not subscribe to that. I am sure the op understands what I mean and that is all that matters to me, as my reply was channeled to him and not you.
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by Taiwo20(m): 11:28am On Aug 12, 2020
to let peace reign sometimes you have to look away after repeated corrections.

Doing somethings wont kill us. When the procastination to wash the toilet becomes much, just do it and get their '"thank you dear"

Womenfolks dey really really try, their job description is quite much but they are the number 2 scammer after the Nigerian Government.


My advise: REMOVE THE KITCHEN SINK FOR A YEAR, DO IT WHEN SHE'S NOT AROUND TELL HER THE DRAIN GOT CLOGGED AND TELL HER THE PLUMBER IS ON THE WAY.


Its absurd and laughable but do it.

1 Like

Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by owillowill: 11:57am On Aug 12, 2020
My brother, see ehn there are different habits that we grow up with over the years, and has become part of us. The habit of 20 years cannot be taken away in one year...

Now, your wife has been used to this habit over the years, it cannot go away overnight.. i won't lie to you. But with love as you show her these things, she'll change. Just try to do it with love over and over again, she will yield soon. (speaking from experience)

in Marriage (two different people of different background and upbringing coming together), TOLERANCE is one of the food it feeds on to survive.
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by wendixx(f): 12:53pm On Aug 12, 2020
manos:
Note: it's a bit long... I could have summarized but I want those contributing to get a crystal clear picture of the situation, so that they can give better and specific advice.

The major problem here is that she mixes up things to be done in the kitchen with things done only in the toilet.

I have been married to my wife for over a year now (no kids yet) and there are certain unhygienic habits she has been displaying, since we started living together. I have been seeking ways to help her improve on it, but a calm correction from me always leads to a bitter argument between us. (She claims I complain too much whenever I point it out)

For example, she always clears her throat early in the morning and spits in the kitchen sink. (despite the fact that we have 2 toilets with wash hand basins; one in the room and also a guest toilet, with a wash-hand basin which is basically 3 steps from the kitchen). Then she goes to the bathroom, gets her toothbrush and comes back to the kitchen to brush her teeth, while doing several things with toothpaste and saliva drooling from her mouth all through.

.

Dear Poster, CALM DOWN. In my little experience in marriage, it is not about who is right or wrong, but being able to recognize and accept each other's weaknesses and turn the other way.

Most of us prefer to brush in the kitchen rather than the bathroom sink. In my home, we feel that mouth is synonymous to food = kitchen so e just use the kitchen sink. Besides I'm sure you enjoy kissing her even early in the morning, so what is wrong if she drools (as you imagine) inside the meal, it's the same saliva you swallow happily when having fun with her.

In essence, what I am trying to say is that as you have already told her, just smile whenever she does it. Over time, she will either change or you will get used to it. Marriage is WAY BEYOND ALL THESE PLEASE, It is give and take.

CLAM DOWN !!

2 Likes

Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by wendixx(f): 12:58pm On Aug 12, 2020
Prettychild:

Yuck! She is sha dirty O! Pregnancy own go worse O! But these are signs you could have easily noticed during courtship na. Since you went ahead to marry her that shows that you can manage it. Talk to someone close to her in her family.

What is dirty about brushing in the kitchen? In some houses/ families it is only in the kitchen that there is a sink. They don't have wash hand basin in their toilets and they grew up with that mentality to brush in the kitchen. So it is called individual differences, not dirtiness. CALM DOWN!!

2 Likes

Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by comtem2011: 1:17pm On Aug 12, 2020
dario078:


You are a problematic person. Why did you insist that she must bathe whenever she poos? When you could have told her to clean herself up with water, and wash her hands with soap and water.

You poo with one part of the body, not the entire body, you know.

Walahi, people dey o. Does it mean he doesn't poo when pressed outside his home?

1 Like

Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by IJEYdiamond(f): 3:25pm On Aug 12, 2020
xtratagem:
Nairalanders and Simp! simp! simp! simp! The word "simp" no dey taya you?

I need to ask please what is the meaning??
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by Neddyogu(m): 3:25pm On Aug 12, 2020
When face-me-i-jam u fellow begin stay flat, na so e dey be. With time she'd adjust to the new normal. Focus on what made u marry her in the first place.
Re: I Can't Stand My Wife's Unhygienic Habits. by IJEYdiamond(f): 3:27pm On Aug 12, 2020
Some persons have phobia... when it comes to brushing their mouth due to experiences or how toilets r... i can say few will be ok.. with the hotels setting than some homes.

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