A Nigerian mother asks her pregnant teenage daughter:

''Funke how did you get pregnant?" ''I told you, if a man touches your boobs, say 'DON'T' and if he touches your privates, say 'STOP'",

The girl says "But mamma, I did, He was touching both places at the same time, so i said "DON'T STOP!"

Am sure i will be entertain

In a biology exam,student were asked to draw the female reproductive organ, as the exam was progressing, a girl looked between her legs.

A boy saw her and shouted "Excuse me, Sir! She's copying from the original copy, "

i beta take my leave before Kill me with more

Nice idea, Ben

Just like the Nigerian couple in London that gave birth to a white baby,

a Chinese couple in ikoyi, Nigeria gave birth to a black baby

and the husband ask the wife, chu, why baby black?

chu replied, we live in Nigeria, no electricity, you hot, me hot, sex hot, baby burnt!

Demm, am crazy laughing I think they should leave 9ija for this. good one there BACK AGAIN

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a toy Shop and asks the sales person, “How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?”

The salesperson answers, “Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie For $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95.”

The amazed father asks: “It’s what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?”

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: “Sir…, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Computer, one of Ken’s Friends, and a key chain made with Ken’s family jewels.”

The Priest, The Minister and The Rabbi

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape! The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision might have not been be the way to start

Back again:

Nice idea, Ben

Just like the Nigerian couple in London that gave birth to a white baby,

a Chinese couple in ikoyi, Nigeria gave birth to a black baby

and the husband ask the wife, chu, why baby black?

chu replied, we live in Nigeria, no electricity, you hot, me hot, sex hot, baby burnt!

lol

ahaaaaaaaaaaaa, yeyyyyyyy, i wan die for laugh,

The sunday school teacher, at closing, told the children that she would be teaching about liars next week.
So she asked them to read Luke 17 in preparation for the class.
The following week, she asked those who read the passage to come forward.
About half of the class came forward. She asked the rest of the class to leave, as the day's teaching was for the liars who claimed to have read a non existent 17 chapter.

Thanks to the poster and everyone for this thread . . . i will be contributing soon.

nice one girl i love your jokes

@Ben. . .Where's your broom and dust pan? All the comments here should be wiped clean or isn't that the rule of the thread? (Be sure to wipe my own as well after reading this but leave the dry joke below).

Ben-10:

Hey Jokers, Welcome to Jokes Chronicle. Comments are not allowed here.

The following ensued during one of the class sessions between a teacher and her pupil.

Teacher: Ben, what would you do while on the high sea and there's a heavy thunderstorm and it appears your boat wants to capsize?
Ben: I'll struggle as hard as I can and let down the anchor.
Teacher: Just imagine there's no anchor and the thunderstorms are heavy?
Ben: I'll let down another anchor.
Teacher: Like I said earlier, imagine there's no anchor and the waves gets bigger?
Ben: I'll let down another anchor.

The teacher obviously frustrated at the same replies gotten after trying to convince Ben to think in her direction asked, "Where do you keep getting these anchors from?"
"The same place you've been getting your thunderstorms!" Ben answered.

lol

Sis Mary took the kids to Bro John's house one day for fellowship
after fellowship, Sis Mary decided to take the kids home but forgot her bible in Bro John's house by mistake,
She went back to Bro John's house to take it and when she got there, she met Bro John naked on the bed and asked:
Bro John, what is that thing between thy legs, and bro John replied, dat is the Rod of Salvation

And it happened again, but this time, Bro John took the kids to Sis Mary's house for fellowship,
and he too forgot his bible and decided to go back to pick it,
when he got to her house, he saw Sis Mary naked on the bed, and asked:
Sis Mary, what is that thing between thy legs and on thy chest, and she replied, Ah Bro John, that thing between thy legs is the gateway to heaven and the one on thy chest is the Rock of Ages

Oh praise the Lord screamed Bro John, my hands shall hold to the Rock of Ages where i will get comfort and my Rod of Salvation shall pass through the Gateway to Heaven, Hallelujah

my most funniest joke on NL:
Some Yoruba, Ibo and Hausa men were caught in the jungle by cannibals and were given opportunity to escape if they could get some jungle 10 fruits from the jungle and force through their anus.

the Yoruba man came first and fail, the Ibo man almost succeeded but laughed when he raise his head and saw the Hausa man coming before he could insert the last fruit (peanut) into his anus.

When the ghost of the Yoruba man ask the ghost of the Ibo man how come he now laughed when he had almost escaped, the Ibo man replied, "as I was about to insert the last fruit into my anus I suddenly raised my head and saw the Hausa man coming with 10 big pineapples in his hands that was why I laughed."

Good jokes. Life is too serious so there is need to laugh occasionaly.

Thank you

[b][/b][b][/b]guyz u re too much, she u won kil person?

A yoruba man was invited to an occasion as the chairman. After the opening prayer, he was asked to address the audience. He stood up, cleared his throat and said " My address is No. 6 Moshalasi street, Ogba Ikeja, Lagos. Thank you".

A yoruba man was invited to an occasion as the chairman. After the opening prayer, he was asked to address the audience. He stood up, cleared his throat and said " My address is No. 6 Moshalasi street, Ogba Ikeja, Lagos. Thank you".

Why u doublepost? Nice wan

Lol. Good 'un.

Why is it that if you want to STOP Windows 98, you have to click on START?

If con is the opposite of pro, then congress is opposite of progress?

Lol