MrBrownJay1:


bro, just call her and make her understand that she can come back home and work this out PROPERLY or you send her stuff back and she can live the life she desires.

there are too many issues here to fix, and it seems the best is for you guys to part ways, since you cant communicate like adults.

can I talk to you privately pls now on whatsapp?

Ishilove:
Those were the vows they took. When something is broken, you try as much as possible to fix it. You just don't throw it away at the drop of a hat

you are right about the above...but if you try to fix it and it ultimately doesnt work, then you must ACCEPT that it is broken and move on. you cant possibly bang your head on concrete hoping for a miracle.

Ishilove:

So why is this case different?

You both need elders and people who have weathered storms in their marriages to counsel you both because what I see here is pride and immaturity and an unwillingness to compromise from both parties.

Whoever has been advising your woman has not been advising her well.

exactly, pls can we talk privately on WhatsApp?

Rtk5:
exactly, pls can we talk privately on WhatsApp?

Sure

Ishilove:
Sure

Lemme have your contact & chat you WhatsApp now

MrBrownJay1:


you are right about the above...but if you try to fix it and it ultimately doesnt work, then you must ACCEPT that it is broken and move on. you cant possibly bang your head on concrete hoping for a miracle.

Very true, but nowhere has the op indicated that all his efforts have ultimately not worked. So till then, the efforts continua!

Rtk5:
Lemme have your contact & chat you WhatsApp now

Send me yours via PM and I will add you.

Rtk5:
can I talk to you privately pls now on whatsapp?

bro, as much as i would love to talk to you privately, i dont give out my private details (never have, never will)...but as there are plenty of intelligent mature people here, post on NL whatever you want to tell me, as we are all here to give our opinion (whether good or bad) and you should listen to everyone's view. it will help you greatly.

Ishilove:

Send me yours via PM and I will add you.

how does the on work? direct me

MrBrownJay1:


bro, just call her and make her understand that she can come back home and work this out PROPERLY or you send her stuff back and she can live the life she desires.

there are too many issues here to fix, and it seems the best is for you guys to part ways, since you cant communicate like adults.

He didn't exactly give us the 411 on their issues. He only let us know that she is acting the fool, and he has acted the fool in the past, and they have sacrificed greatly for each other.

MrBrownJay1:


bro, as much as i would love to talk to you privately, i dont give out my private details (never have, never will)...but as there are plenty of intelligent mature people here, post on NL whatever you want to tell me, as we are all here to give our opinion (whether good or bad) and you should listen to everyone's view. it will help you greatly.

sorry I was referring to ishilove not you

Rtk5:
Few days back I posted a topic on how my wife left home with our 2years old son after a little issue that even animals will laugh at us when they hear it because of how trivial the issue is. Now this is what is at stake

1. She hasn't called since she left a week ago & I haven't called either because I didn't chase her.

2. None of her family has called to know why she came back home though I don't Blame them, it depends on what she must have told them.

3. Perhaps she has moved on already, its no problem but let her come and pack her belongings. I sent her a text to come & pack her stuffs then whoever she is ready to come back she's free but I'll never follow up at her family house & she replied that she's not expecting me to follow her up cos she knows I'm not gonna come after her.

5. My decision is, if she doesn't come back by Sunday or at least come to pick her things, I'll move on & I don't care if she comes anytime & see me with a babe at home. I can't remain single hoping she comes back when perhaps she's already found a boyfriend.

6. Some of you would think its pride that is making me not to go to her family but no, I don't want to look stupid cos I've done that severally.

7. Maybe I'm here killing myself with thinking while she's at her family house laughing.


Waking up to see her stuffs in my house is really hurting me the more & making it difficult for me to move on.

I really need your advice guys, pls

If you are really serious, pack her things and parcel them to her . Why do you want her to come back to your house to pick her things, so you will see her one last time.?

Do the needful, if you want her gone. However, i must sound a note of caution for you. To get wife no easy, girlfriend plenty.

And this one is wife, not girlfriend, better go and resolve your issues. You will be shocked how to get new wife, wey u love go hard you. And as a kid is involved, you may not even understand the rsmifications till children from different mothers start fighting for inheritance while you are alive.

Give your self sense o

Ishilove:
He didn't exactly give us the 411 on their issues. He only let us know that she is acting the fool, and he has acted the fool in the past, and they have sacrificed greatly for each other.

yeah but let us not forget the below...
- she left their family home out of her own will
- she deprives this man of his family
- she deprives this man of his child
- no contact whatsoever for a week therefore expecting HIM to go and beg her to come back?

MrBrownJay1:


yeah but let us not forget the below...
- she left their family home out of her own will
- she deprives this man of his family
- she deprives this man of his child
- no contact whatsoever for a week therefore expecting HIM to go and beg her to come back?

That's it brother, like I've gone after her severally to their family house in the past. This time around I went to work & she just sent me a text that says, I'm going with our son, whenever youvwantvus back come & get us.

Rtk5:
That's it brother, like I've gone after her severally to their family house

bro, contact your wife and ASK her to come back home so that you guys can work out the problems that you may have "as a family"... if she refuses, then you can either A) go on your knees and start begging her to come back (as if you sent her away) and accept that from now on, she is in charge and you are her puppet that she can do what she pleases with or B) tell her that since she is not willing to come back, then you will send her belongings back to her... so she can be comfortable wherever she may be. then you accept her decision and move on with your life until the day she gets her sense back, and you guys can sit down and communicate like adults.

she is using your family/child as emotional blackmail!

Rtk5:
This time around I went to work & she just sent me a text that says, I'm going with our son, whenever youvwantvus back come & get us.

what was her reply when you asked her WHY she left?!?!

lol, if she wanted to be with you then she wouldnt leave to begin with... so going to get her back wont solve anything. you have to dig deep and solve the MAIN ISSUE

MrBrownJay1:


what was her reply when you asked her WHY she left?!?!

lol, if she wanted to be with you then she wouldnt leave to begin with... so going to get her back wont solve anything. you have to dig deep and solve the MAIN ISSUE

I text her saying "i cant come after you cos i never drove you away, you choose her path & that of your child but she didn't reply.

Rtk5:
I told her she choose her path & that of her child but she didn't reply.

i guess she wants you to go there and beg her to come back home, as if you didnt want her there (from the get go)

MrBrownJay1:


i guess she wants you to go there and beg her to come back home, as if you didnt want her there (from the get go)

She said she knows I'm not coming after her to take her back. What must have hindered her from calling for a whole week? My neighbors have been asking after her, i just kept on answering with "she traveled".

MrBrownJay1:


i guess she wants you to go there and beg her to come back home, as if you didnt want her there (from the get go)

Do you think she's still interested in the marriage? I also think shes getting a wrong advice coming from somewhere.

MrBrownJay1:


i guess she wants you to go there and beg her to come back home, as if you didnt want her there (from the get go)

I also want to ask you two good questions

1. Is it proper to bring a new girlfriend to my house when she hasn't packed her things yet & I'm assuming she has moved on? what do you think it will portray to her, her family & my neighborhood.

2. What do you think is being discussed in her family house

Your questions to Mr. Brown Jay:
1. It is not proper to bring a new girlfriend home with your wife's belongings still there.
2. If you want to know what is being discussed, call and find out.

The question that nobody has asked, but which I wonder about: what "little issue" caused her to leave?

NiCurious:
Your questions to Mr. Brown Jay:
1. It is not proper to bring a new girlfriend home with your wife's belongings still there.
2. If you want to know what is being discussed, call and find out.

The question that nobody has asked, but which I wonder about: what "little issue" caused her to leave?

just a little argument & we started keeping malice. That's all.

Then what if she doesn't come to pick her things anytime soon? If I return her things myself, they'll have an edge to say I chased her away that's why I want her to come pack by herself so I'll be clean

Rtk5:
just a little argument & we started keeping malice. That's all.

Then what if she doesn't come to pick her things anytime soon? If I return her things myself, they'll have an edge to say I chased her away that's why I want her to come pack by herself so I'll be clean

If it was seriously just a little argument, like whose turn it was to shut off the generator, and you both started keeping malice after that...you are both not ready to be married!!! But I wonder how a "small matter" would be enough to make her pack the child and leave the house.

If you don't want her back, you can simply call or text her to ask her to pick up her things. That way she will know you don't want her back, and that way you are not packing her things, yourself, and won't be seen to be "chasing her away". But that's hasty. Basically she told you to call her when you have cooled down, and are ready for her to come back. You have yet to call her, though, so I guess you haven't cooled down yet.

You seem confused, and don't know what you want...you miss her, but you are also talking about a girlfriend...this is the time that you really need to reflect on yourself; reflect on who you are, both when you are by yourself and when you are in a relationship; what your weaknesses are; what you want from a relationship; and what you can do to work on yourself, so that you can be in a healthy relationship. It takes two to be in a relationship or marriage, but you can only work on yourself.

Seems to me you are greatly concerned about what "other people" think, and I'll call that false pride. As I think someone else already said, if your actions are just and honest "before God" first, what other people might think after that, doesn't matter.

Rtk5:
Few days back I posted a topic on how my wife left home with our 2years old son after a little issue that even animals will laugh at us when they hear it because of how trivial the issue is. Now this is what is at stake

1. She hasn't called since she left a week ago & I haven't called either because I didn't chase her.

2. None of her family has called to know why she came back home though I don't Blame them, it depends on what she must have told them.

3. Perhaps she has moved on already, its no problem but let her come and pack her belongings. I sent her a text to come & pack her stuffs then whoever she is ready to come back she's free but I'll never follow up at her family house & she replied that she's not expecting me to follow her up cos she knows I'm not gonna come after her.

5. My decision is, if she doesn't come back by Sunday or at least come to pick her things, I'll move on & I don't care if she comes anytime & see me with a babe at home. I can't remain single hoping she comes back when perhaps she's already found a boyfriend.

6. Some of you would think its pride that is making me not to go to her family but no, I don't want to look stupid cos I've done that severally.

7. Maybe I'm here killing myself with thinking while she's at her family house laughing.


Waking up to see her stuffs in my house is really hurting me the more & making it difficult for me to move on.

I really need your advice guys, pls

From the look of things, tbe love wasn't really there and from onset, instead of the love to grow, it was left unattended and boom, it's fading away

Anyway, it does happen

You are finding it difficult to move on, just because she has a child for you and not even for love

Even if you want to move on and remarry, you still have to inform the family that you are done with her and demand for your bride price, if anything if that was paid

But I believe it hasn't gotten to that yet

If you want to start bringing a woman to your house because you feels she is also enjoying herself with another man, just pack whatever you think is her belongings to one corner of the house, since seeing them hurts you

Let that woman be informed about what is on ground

Make sure they don't fight when they meet themselves there since you have not officially separated from her

You don't want to yo for her because she has been doing so and this time around you don't care

She doesn't want to come back for reasons best known to her

This life is supposed to be simple, just follow your heart

MrBrownJay1:


yeah but let us not forget the below...
- she left their family home out of her own will
- she deprives this man of his family
- she deprives this man of his child
- no contact whatsoever for a week therefore expecting HIM to go and beg her to come back?

Na so marriage dey be sometimes. Calculated acts of senselessness. That doesn't mean he should jump ship.

Rtk5:
her dad is late, one of the thing that is hindering me from going to tell her mother again is cos the mother believes anything she tells her without hearing from me

call her mom and explain......never you apologize.

Rtk5:
her dad is late, one of the thing that is hindering me from going to tell her mother again is cos the mother believes anything she tells her without hearing from me

find the oldest man in your wife family that you know you mother in law respects and speak with him. For the mother not to have try to contact you to hear your side as an elderly person speaks much. Dont meet with the mother, they will disgrace you, you will fear.

Rtk5:
That's it brother, like I've gone after her severally to their family house in the past. This time around I went to work & she just sent me a text that says, I'm going with our son, whenever youvwantvus back come & get us.

childishness and immaturity of the highest order. she still sees herself as someone in a relationship not marriage. Try your best to reconcile this last time for your son if not for anything and let her know that, that should be the last time this should happen if she wants the marriage to work. Make this known in front of her family and yours possibly. God forbids she try it again send her belongings to her and divorce her and move on. No let any woman who is not your mother give you HBP.

Haywhymido:
childishness and immaturity of the highest order. she still sees herself as someone in a relationship not marriage. Try your best to reconcile this last time for your son if not for anything and let her know that, that should be the last time this should happen if she wants the marriage to work. Make this known in front of her family and yours possibly. God forbids she try it again send her belongings to her and divorce her and move on. No let any woman who is not your mother give you HBP.

Honestly bro... I really love her but I'm also ready to move on though it isn't going to be easy.

MrBrownJay1:


yeah but let us not forget the below...
- she left their family home out of her own will
- she deprives this man of his family
- she deprives this man of his child
- no contact whatsoever for a week therefore expecting HIM to go and beg her to come back?

Ishilove is on point. I was initially angry at his wife but then, one has to put aside pride to make love work.
Pride is very dangerous. I've seen it destroy things, valuable things.
@Op, your wife is giving place to the devil. Do all you can to see how you can fight for your home, before it is too late.
Finding love is hard, making it work is harder and sometimes you just got to be a fooll for love.

Rtk5:
I also want to ask you two good questions

1. Is it proper to bring a new girlfriend to my house when she hasn't packed her things yet & I'm assuming she has moved on? what do you think it will portray to her, her family & my neighborhood.

2. What do you think is being discussed in her family house

1. Are you seriously talking about a girlfriend? Seriously? Thought you said you loved your wife. I know it must be hard, you have needs, but a girlfriend will only complicate issues.

2. Why don't you go and visit, maybe this time around, take your father or uncle or even pastor along with you?