Complaint is a Poisonous Arrow

Xue Feng



When things are not going as one has expected or imagined, one will feel extremely uncomfortable and thus unleash implicitly or explicitly one's dissatisfaction upon the people who he or she thinks is the cause for his or her dissatisfaction so as to express his or her grievances and anger. This feeling or behaviour is called complaining.



Complain occurs mainly between husband and wife, between colleagues, partners, superiors and subordinates, between parents and children, between sisters and brothers, and between neighbors. If jealousy is a poison that hurts oneself, complaint is a poisonous arrow that hurts others. Complaints are one of the major causes for the tension, conflicts, contradictions, ruined relations, and violent fights between husband and wife, colleagues, partners, superiors and subordinates, between parents and children, between sisters and brothers, and between neighbors. Complaint is the maltreatment of others' spirit and soul. The more civilized and better educated the people are, the more deeply they will be hurt. A person who is always the object of complaint can not live a life of his own style. Even worse, such complaints can cause a distorted and abnormal mentality, inexplicable loss of temper, the loss of confidence in future, the dejection, the resentment and desperation, and even suicide.



The complaints among relatives against each other can cause more severe injury to people's spirit and soul. The most frequent complaints occur between husband and wife. The endless babbling, nagging and complaining can cast a shadow over the family, will severely affect the physical and spiritual wellbeing of family members, and especially will have adverse effect on children.



Complaints have been the greatest cause for a member to run away from home. Here let me give a few examples of complaints.



“Why are you always so irrational?”
“Can you let me alone and have some peace?”
“Would you end up in trouble and distress of today if you had followed my advice?”
“I have told you again and again, but you would never listen!”
“I would be more than blessed if you are like Xiao Wang!”
“Why can't you draw lessons from past mistakes? You are making the same mistakes again and again! ”
“It's all your fault, if it were not for you, should things have fared so badly?”
“He is such a useless person, who can never do anything well!”
“If it were not for you, I would not have been landed in such a miserable situation, it's all your fault.”
...



All these are complaints, which are extremely harmful.



A person who complains against others always believes that he is in reason, he is in the right and he is wiser than others. Actually it is only latter-wit. He shifts all the blames on to the other person to ensure his own peace of mind, which is a sign of selfishness.



Thus few people who complain against others are sane themselves. They are born with a deficiency of a heart of mercy. What is there to complain about?



Everyone has his strengths and weaknesses, everyone is faced with his own difficulties, and has the objective causes for not having done something well. Something may be as easy for someone as turning his palm over, but may be extremely difficult for others, for whom the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. So mutual understanding and consideration are needed. The purpose of life is to attain joy, happiness, freedom and blessing, can complaining bring you the joy and happiness?



Do what you should do and take the road that you should take. Why do you have to complain against others?



Do not keep raking up the unhappy things in the past, unless you want others to suffer and wish to maltreat and punish them.



The husband and wife can break company in a good manner instead of complaining endlessly if they feel incompatible with each other, thus letting each other go their own way. There is no need to subject each other to the maltreatment and torture of soul and spirit every day.



In the paradise there is no jealousy. In the same way, there is no complaining in the Thousand-Year World, Ten Thousand-Year World, and Celestial Island Continent of the paradise. All those wishing to have a beautiful future and long for the heavenly kingdom must not be jealous of each other, and must not complain against each other. It is absolutely impossible to go to the heavenly kingdom if those engaged in self-cultivation and self-refinery do not get rid of “jealousy" and “complaining".



Man is a solitary traveller, everyone should bear consequence for everything he does. It is not reasonable at all to complain against others. We should understand, how wonderful it is to have someone accompany us on our journey of life! It simply does not matter if we have screwed things up. Life itself is a game. No matter what happens, what really counts is to have a joyful and happy life.



A happy and joyful person has only one reason to be happy, but an unhappy and depressed person may have thousands of reasons to be unhappy.



2008-03-14