Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,143,317 members, 7,780,778 topics. Date: Thursday, 28 March 2024 at 09:54 PM

Let Me Tell You A Story....a True Life Story - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Let Me Tell You A Story....a True Life Story (1996 Views)

Things They Will Not Tell You About Marriage.. / My Story; A Troubled Married Man / How I Got Married With Just N28,900 (my True Life Testimony) (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Let Me Tell You A Story....a True Life Story by DeeMain(m): 2:12pm On Aug 30, 2020
bukatyne:


No joke, it is on NL that all married women are in bondage or married men don't live their lives.

It is here I also learnt career is something you start working today and build tomorrow.

When most of my senior colleagues are recounting tales of the work they have put in, we would be calculating 'I was in 200L or I just finished secondary school then.'

Funnily, the school/work/marriage & career model actually gives you the most time to do whatever. See Omoni who even took a break from acting: she can now act forever. Omotola used to take her babies to set so all her characters was a young mother. Now the kids have grown and she is traveling the world.

There was someone I met during service: a beautiful lady married at 17 because her dad died. This lady had two kids and said she wanted to go back to school. Everyone said no, her mother said her husband would start sleeping with her maid and she told them they were free. She was able to finish school, had a dream to work somewhere unfortunately, the place packed up.

When you hear her talk and her dreams despite her circumstances then, you would marvel.

I have not seen anyone hungry for success so much claim marriage stopped them.

This is overly simplistic and a hasty generalization. It's an insult to the souls of women who paid the humongous sacrifice that family/marriage demanded of them by giving up their own dreams.

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Let Me Tell You A Story....a True Life Story by yvelchstores(f): 3:17pm On Aug 30, 2020
Kehl:


Maybe you don't get it... You're bringing in something entirely different from what the post addressed. It's one thing to have difficulty in achieving certain things, and it's another thing to sacrifice your progress for your family.

And maybe you have people who got married to supportive husbands, it still doesn't vitiate the face that a whole lot of other women are married to people who do not have interest in their ambition.

And no matter how we want to look at it, we can't take away one fact, and that is that in many marriages, especially in this part of the world, the man has a big stake in his wife's decisions.

In some homes, going against your husband wishes is as good as saying bye to that marriage.

It is easy for us to sit back and say if a married woman wants to do her thing she can, but the reality is that marriage changes a whole lot of things especially in this part of the world (I do not in anyway support or endorse male dominance or husband superiority but it doesn't make me blind from the reality in my society)

If you have it good, doesn't mean every woman out there has it good... It's only fair you hear their challenges and if you can, address it rather than dismiss it.

God bless you jare

1 Like

Re: Let Me Tell You A Story....a True Life Story by yvelchstores(f): 3:38pm On Aug 30, 2020
Kehl:


If this is a real problem that affects women, do we overlook it and let the problem persist simply because you think that I or the society have a mindset of "women are always victims? lol

This is just one real issue that was raised.

I like that you have only strong women in your circle... But again, do you honestly think every woman is like you and the women in your circle?

And if you think that there are women who have made mistakes as regards the subject matter, do we let the the mistake continue because a few women got it right, so everyother woman can go to hell with their problems.

The moment we become less empathetic to the extent that we now judge everyone and every issue from our standards and level of understanding, we will solve no problem but create more.

Let's not forget that the society is made up of different classes of people coming from different backgrounds, different levels of understanding,

If you are in a knowledgeable position or you have certain things figured out, the least you can do is to stretch out your hands and lift others out of ignorance.

Not every woman grew up around ambitious women and professionals, many women grew up in a very terrible patriarchal environment. It's only normal that such environment would unconsciously influence some of their decisions. And only when these decisions turn out badly, before they realise somethings could be done differently.

If you know better and you are in a position to enlighten them, do just that!

The intention of the post was never to create a pity party... If you read it again, you'll discover that the message is first and majorly directed to single ladies and men.

Like I said in the post, ladies often put down their guard for the wish and promise of a marriage, forgetting that the excitement is only temporary and that reality would hit again soon when the chips are down.

The message is creating an awareness that they should intentionally learn to consider their careers and ambition as important factors in choosing a spouse. To avoid the regret story.

All some people need to get it right is simply an awareness...

And Las Las my position on this issue doesn't make me an apologist for the female gender "women are always victims" school of thought...

I only talk about real and identified issues as they affect my society.. Tomorrow I may be talking about corruption.



wow, just wow. It is so tempting to just walk over other people's efforts because it appears you have it all figured out. Thank you very much for the striking points you made.

I am inspired by the thread in entirety however let us not forget, for those floating in the bubble of "if you work hard enough, you can have it all", don't forget to ensure your children are not molested where you drop them as your fly in your Aladin carpet.

My mother had us 4 and pursued her business dream, let me just say, ALOT was neglected. I took time off to raise one child and I am now still trying to balance work life again. It's not easy!

Yes, the woman has a part to play in the number of children she bears but PLEASE, HOLD OFF WITH YOUR SUPER HERO WOMAN TALK. Like Kehl has rightfully said, that you have it all figured out, praise God for you but don't look down on others still trying to prioritize and take their time to create a healthy balance.

What is success? Is it measured by material things like cash No dear. It transcends beyond that.

And for the record, children are not what u Pop out and hang to dry. You nurture that child, you raise him in the way he should go. If u are more interested in making money, then don't have children. Have children if you are willing and able to make sacrifices for them.

Yen yen yen.... Enough already.

1 Like

(1) (2) (Reply)

How To Know Original Winco Foam / Relocation Sales!!! Very Neat Items / I Heard Uyo Has Steady Light And I Really Want To Know Which Area.

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 27
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.