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Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by jeph19(m): 4:06am On Aug 29
The kind of post coming from some guys on nairaland makes me wonder the kinda dads they'll be...
whats that word again ...

10 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by ArticleBeast: 5:50am On Aug 29
PrinceOfEast:
SIMPISM is a disease whose cure is a dose of REDPILL 3 times a day 24/7.

Emancipate yourself from simpish.
You too na alpha male grin grin una don really abuse this world. You mean you too na alpha Oghene

7 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by andyanders: 6:00am On Aug 29
madridguy:
Firstly, that your current GF no be better woman, if you continue seeing her, she go drive away every of love ones.

Secondly, help your ex family with immediate effect.
Exactly on point. Op, that ur so called girlfriend is just with you 'cus of ur money someone- ur ex, helped u to build. You're only having a time bomb ready to expload when u least expected.

It will serve u right for u to help ur ex's family now or u suffer 4 life. Remember she gave u some money to keep and u have no right not to help her family. Your new girl will even kill u if u keep her.

Even right here now, I am communicating with THUNDER to strike u and ur new witch girlfriend within certain date, if u fail to go and give assistance to the family of ur ex.

12 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by andyanders: 6:19am On Aug 29
Op, u and ur new useless girlfriend wicked pass the federal government of nigeria.

Shebi u have mouth to say u don't want insult? Why do u have to bring such a disgusting topic to this forum in the first place?

Someone u claimed that loved u and kept huge amount of money with u and she is suffering where she is and begged u to help her family with some money, and u are discussing with an idiot that wasn't there for u when the exchange of cash was made, and she wants you not to help the family. Same way she will tell u not to help ur mother, u will run to this forum to seek for opinion.

I can ONLY see a WEAK man in ur person. You can't even handle a family. You're surely not a man.

21 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by bjprodint(f): 6:55am On Aug 29
Truthlord12:
please no need for insult. Should I assist my ex’s family and lose my new girlfriend? What of if my ex don’t want to come back to the country I’ll lose two of em. Please give me a reasonable advice not insults
and you wont be able to get a better woman?
na you toast them or dem toast u?
so you cant toast another woman?
dont worry ,if ur present girlfriend leaves you,i will gladly toast you,and marry you and my spouse together.
where is your self esteem?

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by femi4: 8:47am On Aug 29
Truthlord12:
Good evening people please I need your advice regards to this, I got separated from my ex girlfriend last year because she told me her travel plans abroad I was a bit sceptic About the nature of job she’ll do there, she’s the type that’s ready and willing to do anything to help her family.

After everything I told her not to embark on the journey that she should be patient with me, once my business picked up I’ll care for her and her family, she refused and traveled last year, few months before she left she gave me some money to add to my business I wouldn’t want to state the actual amount but a bit huge. Of recent her family really suffering because my ex had issue with the person that took her abroad so she’s passing through difficult time though she’s hiding some info from me since she’s not able to make money, she called me of recent that I should please do anything to help her family.

Now I’ve got a new girlfriend I told my new girlfriend about the issue but she said I shouldn’t give my ex family any money, because we ain’t together anymore that if I do she’ll leave me

Please people help me what should I do? My mind is really disturbing me and I still love my ex I wish I’ve a way to bring her back to Nigeria so we can start a family I don’t care the type of job she went there to do and I don’t mind what she has been through. She did so much for me, she made sacrifice that this my new girl won’t do, I don’t even know if my new girlfriend loves me or because of my money.

Though I love my new girlfriend but part of me is with my ex I don’t know if she’ll will be willing to return though I’ve not discussed it with her. And now my new girlfriend treating to leave me if I assist or give back the money my ex gave me as support for my business before she travelled to her family I’ve been down for days thinking so much.


cc: lalasticlala
cc: seun
I will advice you properly if you can reveal the amount she gave you

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by crackhaus: 8:47am On Aug 29
Lol, this thread though...

Understanding the psychology of human behaviour can be quite thrilling. grin

Just imagine if the OP's post went something like this instead:

Now I’ve got a new girlfriend wife, I told my new girlfriend wife about the issue but she said I shouldn’t give my ex family any money, because we ain’t together anymore that if I do she’ll leave me

Please people help me what should I do? My mind is really disturbing me and I still love my ex I wish I’ve a way to bring her back to Nigeria so we can start a family I don’t care the type of job she went there to do and I don’t mind what she has been through. She did so much for me, she made sacrifice that this my new girl wife won’t do, I don’t even know if my new girlfriend wife loves me or because of my money.

Now I wonder what the advice would have been in this case.

The same people who would usually claim that marriage does not bestow any special privileges, is not important, and isn't an achievement, are somehow usually the same people who would subconsciously rate the position of a wife to be more important than that of a girlfriend.

I guess in fact then, that until one is married, they must not take their relationship too serious because there's no legitimacy to it. You should only take a woman serious after you have married her, never before.

No offence to the unmarried people who will probably take this personal... ahh no fück that, the pun was intended.

12 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by maiiilooo(m): 8:57am On Aug 29
This matter no concern me..
But dah ur new Bae na agent of the devil.. Secondly you're acting like (MU)^2, the fact that ur Ex assisted u with money even after ur break up is enough reason......

1 Like

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by Freeeanijor: 9:07am On Aug 29
Why did such a simple request have to give you a sleepless night?
Why did you have to hide under the skirt of your new lover to carry out your intentions? Where did your human feelings evaporate to? Loyal friends are difficult to get. It's so unfortunate you are contemplating reciprocating her kind gesture when she's in need. May we not have a friend that would find it difficult to help us when we are in need.

7 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by Freeeanijor: 9:13am On Aug 29
andyanders:
Op, u and ur new useless girlfriend wicked pass the federal government of nigeria.

Shebi u have mouth to say u don't want insult? Why do u have to bring such a disgusting topic to this forum in the first place?

Someone u claimed that loved u and kept huge amount of money with u and she is suffering where she is and begged u to help her family with some money, and u are discussing with an idiot that wasn't there for u when the exchange of cash was made, and she wants you not to help the family. Same way she will tell u not to help ur mother, u will run to this forum to seek for opinion.

I can ONLY see a WEAK man in ur person. You can't even handle a family. You're surely not a man.
I was overwhemed with emotions that I felt like crying bro. People are so heartless in this world. This guy has lost touch with the essence of virtuous values such as loyalty, friendship and gratitude. May this type of a friend never locate us.

8 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by ZinoFasisi: 9:52am On Aug 29
Truthlord12:
please no need for insult. Should I assist my ex’s family and lose my new girlfriend? What of if my ex don’t want to come back to the country I’ll lose two of em. Please give me a reasonable advice not insults

wetin this 1 dey talk, oga ur current gf no be better person, somebody helped u in the past now to help am u no wan gree.

At least that exact huge amount she gave u, give her family back

If ur gf say if u help ur friend now she go leave, na so u go shenk ur guy too?

What kind of men do we have this days sef, doing everything to please girl or begging girl to stay. Girl wey wan leave no love u deep b4 na.
Imagine u don't wanto loose ur gf, is that feeling not suppose to be mutual? She is not even scared of loosing u na u dey fear to loose her.

The day any girl tell me, if u do this or that i will leave you, na that day i go do that thing con pursue am myself

Oga u are seeing signs of ur gf true colour now, u dey form love and not wanto loose. Later u go marry now con dey complain. Nonsense and ingredient

If u no return that girl money en, na sango go fire................

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by Ishilove(m): 9:53am On Aug 29
Truthlord12:
Good evening people please I need your advice regards to this, I got separated from my ex girlfriend last year because she told me her travel plans abroad I was a bit sceptic About the nature of job she’ll do there, she’s the type that’s ready and willing to do anything to help her family.

After everything I told her not to embark on the journey that she should be patient with me, once my business picked up I’ll care for her and her family, she refused and traveled last year, few months before she left she gave me some money to add to my business I wouldn’t want to state the actual amount but a bit huge. Of recent her family really suffering because my ex had issue with the person that took her abroad so she’s passing through difficult time though she’s hiding some info from me since she’s not able to make money, she called me of recent that I should please do anything to help her family.

Now I’ve got a new girlfriend I told my new girlfriend about the issue but she said I shouldn’t give my ex family any money, because we ain’t together anymore that if I do she’ll leave me

Please people help me what should I do? My mind is really disturbing me and I still love my ex I wish I’ve a way to bring her back to Nigeria so we can start a family I don’t care the type of job she went there to do and I don’t mind what she has been through. She did so much for me, she made sacrifice that this my new girl won’t do, I don’t even know if my new girlfriend loves me or because of my money.

Though I love my new girlfriend but part of me is with my ex I don’t know if she’ll will be willing to return though I’ve not discussed it with her. And now my new girlfriend treating to leave me if I assist or give back the money my ex gave me as support for my business before she travelled to her family I’ve been down for days thinking so much.



You know what to do yet you're here asking us irritating questions. Young man don't be an ingrate.

8 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by Ishilove(m): 9:55am On Aug 29
crackhaus:
Lol, this thread though...

Understanding the psychology of human behaviour can be quite thrilling. grin

Just imagine if the OP's post went something like this instead:



Now I wonder what the advice would have been in this case.

The same people who would usually claim that marriage does not bestow any special privileges, is not important, and isn't an achievement, are somehow usually the same people who would subconsciously rate the position of a wife to be more important than that of a girlfriend.

I guess in fact then, that until one is married, they must not take their relationship too serious because there's no legitimacy to it. You should only take a woman serious after you have married her, never before.

No offence to the unmarried people who will probably take this personal... ahh no fück that, the pun was intended. grin
Crack, your English is plenty.

1 Like

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by crackhaus: 10:03am On Aug 29
Ishilove:

Crack, your English is plenty.
Yea I know

5 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by Mindlog: 10:11am On Aug 29
I am even just imagining the girlfriend that is threatening to leave! cheesy cheesy

For you to be scared about her leaving you, is a clear reflection of your very low self-esteem and she is cashing in on that.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by crackhaus: 10:13am On Aug 29
Truthlord12:

Though I love my new girlfriend but part of me is with my ex I don’t know if she’ll will be willing to return though I’ve not discussed it with her. And now my new girlfriend treating to leave me if I assist or give back the money my ex gave me as support for my business before she travelled to her family I’ve been down for days thinking so much.
Conflict resolution here can go in either one of two ways:

1. You make your current girlfriend understand through in-depth discussions about what it means for a person to be ungrateful – I have a feeling both of you have not thoroughly discussed the matter and she probably thinks you still have intentions of getting back with your ex (which you yourself have admitted to here), so it's not surprising she will have reservations about you getting involved with your exes' family.
Reassure her it's simply about paying back a favour and nothing else.

2. You can tell your current girlfriend that you have decided not to get involved with your ex and her family, but then still go ahead and do what you need to do for them behind her back. Just ensure you keep it a secret and clear all traces.

In either of the two options above, you would have successfully satisfied both parties. You keep your current relationship intact and your ex is still on good terms with you.
Regarding your intentions to rekindle a romance with your ex, well you don't know if she feels the same way... and even if she did, she's still not back from her trip, so where does that leave you? You might end up losing on both ends.

Think of it like you were married to your current girlfriend, which I assume is the reason you're even with her in the first place, and you found yourself in this same exact situation, what would you have done?

12 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by bukatyne(f): 10:25am On Aug 29
bjprodint:
and you wont be able to get a better woman?
na you toast them or dem toast u?
so you cant toast another woman?
dont worry ,if ur present girlfriend leaves you,i will gladly toast you,and marry you and my spouse together.
where is your self esteem?

Waris going on here?!!!! cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

3 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by Kalatium(m): 10:28am On Aug 29
PrinceOfEast:
SIMPISM is a disease whose cure is a dose of REDPILL 3 times a day 24/7.

Emancipate yourself from simpish.
Sleek! Flesh and bone did not reveal this to you

2 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by bukatyne(f): 10:29am On Aug 29
crackhaus:

Conflict resolution here can go in either one of two ways:

1. You make your current girlfriend understand through in-depth discussions about what it means for a person to be ungrateful – I have a feeling both of you have not thoroughly discussed the matter and she probably thinks you still have intentions of getting back with your ex (which you yourself have admitted to here), so it's not surprising she will have reservations about you getting involved with your exes' family.
Reassure her it's simply about paying back a favour and nothing else.

2. You tell current girlfriend that you have decided not to get involved with your ex and her family, but then still go ahead and do what you need to do for them behind her back. Just ensure you keep it a secret and clear all traces.

In either of the two options above, you would have successfully satisfied both parties. You keep your current relationship intact and your ex is still on good terms with you.
Regarding your intentions to rekindle a romance with your ex, well you don't know if she feels the same way... and even if she did, she's still not back from her trip, so where does that leave you? You might end up losing on both ends.

Think of it like you were married to your current girlfriend, which I assume is the reason you're even with her in the first place, and you found yourself in this same exact situation, what would you have done?

Whatever you smoked last night worked wonders. cheesy grin

3 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by crackhaus: 10:30am On Aug 29
bukatyne:


Whatever you smoked last night worked wonders. cheesy grin
It was you and I last night na, or did the highness make you forget? grin

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by Ishilove(m): 10:33am On Aug 29
crackhaus:

Yea I know
I didn't understand half of it.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by crackhaus: 10:35am On Aug 29
Ishilove:

I didn't understand half of it.
That's what usually happens when a person takes something personal, lol.

4 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by Ishilove(m): 10:44am On Aug 29
crackhaus:

That's what usually happens when a person takes something personal.
Crack are you being deliberately vague?

1 Like

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by bukatyne(f): 10:48am On Aug 29
crackhaus:

It was you and me last night na, or did the highness make you forget? grin

At this rate, I give up!

@your other post: Marriage gives legitimacy to a relationship between a man & his woman.

However, if you cannot be responsible and make the right decisions by your partner before marriage, the marriage vows possess no special powers to make one start to make the right decisions after marriage.

That is why people choose monsters and somehow expect them to change because they said their vows after marriage. Or choose partners who had multiple relationships and someone expect fidelity.

The responses on this thread are also hilarious to note especially as it is a rare sight of male & female NLers heading the same direction: whatever name we call the OP, he did right telling his current girlfriend about the Ex's request.

The current girl should have had more sense, dug into the matter and make a right decision else Bobo would stop telling her stuffs and when/if they marry, she would start lamenting her husband keeps secrets from her. If I can't trust you to make the right decisions, why shod I confide in you?

My tboughts: if the OP still feels very strongly about his ex after deep soul searching apart from her sexual prowess, he should end his current relationship (apart from the fact he doesn't love her, she is very selfish, greedy and would alienate him in future) and reach out to his ex.

Lay his conditions on the table, extract her and continue the relationship. If a her concern is to 'help her family' instead of finding an escape for herself, her story of dumping him to hustle for her family is believable.

Some people have a misguided sense of duty towards their families. I know a woman in her late 30s who said she couldn't leave her brothers alone (40s & late 20s) to get a job she was required to stay there for the week in addition to other factors.

When we meet people at certain stages of life, we must accept that others have contributed to the man/woman we deem attractive enough to date/marry and they might have debts to pay.

9 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by crackhaus: 10:48am On Aug 29
Ishilove:

Crack are you being deliberately vague?
Lol, my subsequent comment to the OP about how he could handle the matter, should explain the previous one you refused to understand – I was simply using the former to build up to the orgasm in the latter.

4 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by pretydiva(f): 10:49am On Aug 29
Your ex gave you huge sum of money to support your business. Now she needs help from you and your there contemplating If to do it or not because of your current girlfriend.

Girlfriend that hasn't done half of what your ex did. And she's even threatening to leave If you assist your ex family. Choi. That your girlfriend nor be better person walai

Did you tell her your ex supported your business with a huge sum, and what was her reaction? Your girlfriend is highly selfish and insensible

You don't need her permission as to whether to help your ex family or not. Do it cos that's the right thing to do. And If she wanna leave, pls show her the exit door. Nonsense and ingredients. I hate nonsense pls

5 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by crackhaus: 10:58am On Aug 29
bukatyne:


At this rate, I give up!

@your other post: Marriage gives legitimacy to a relationship between a man & his woman.

However, if you cannot be responsible and make the right decisions by your partner before marriage, the marriage vows possess no special powers to make one start to make the right decisions after marriage.

That is why people choose monsters and somehow expect them to change because they said their vows after marriage. Or choose partners who had multiple relationships and someone expect fidelity.

The responses on this thread are also hilarious to note especially as it is a rare sight of male & female NLers heading the same direction: whatever name we call the OP, he did right telling his current girlfriend about the Ex's request.

The current girl should have had more sense, dug into the matter and make a right decision else Bobo would stop telling her stuffs and when/if they marry, she would start lamenting her husband keeps secrets from her. If I can't trust you to make the right decisions, why shod I confide in you?

My tboughts: if the OP still feels very strongly about his ex after deep soul searching apart from her sexual prowess, he should end his current relationship (apart from the fact he doesn't love her, she is very selfish, greedy and would alienate him in future) and reach out to his ex.

Lay his conditions on the table, extract her and continue the relationship. If a her concern is to 'help her family' instead of finding an escape for herself, her story of dumping him to hustle for her family is believable.

Some people have a misguided sense of duty towards their families. I know a woman in her late 30s who said she couldn't leave her brothers alone (40s & late 20s) to get a job she was required to stay there for the week in addition to other factors.

When we meet people at certain stages of life, we must accept that others have contributed to the man/woman we deem attractive enough to date/marry and they might have debts to pay.
If you had posted this before me, I might not have had any need to contribute my piece at least to avoid confusing my ex-girlfriend Ishilove.
I care about all my ex-girlfriends despite what they may think.

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by Nobody: 10:58am On Aug 29
Your current girlfriend lacks understanding, which is majorly occasioned by her self-absorbing character. If I were you, I would help my ex-girlfriend's family and, of course, kick the current girlfriend out of my life.

3 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by bukatyne(f): 11:07am On Aug 29
crackhaus:

If you had posted this before me, I might not have had any need to contribute my piece at least to avoid confusing my ex-girlfriend Ishilove.
I care about all my ex-girlfriends despite what they may think.

Ose, commissioner for exes.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by frozen70(f): 11:32am On Aug 29
Truthlord12:
Good evening people please I need your advice regards to this, I got separated from my ex girlfriend last year because she told me her travel plans abroad I was a bit sceptic About the nature of job she’ll do there, she’s the type that’s ready and willing to do anything to help her family.

After everything I told her not to embark on the journey that she should be patient with me, once my business picked up I’ll care for her and her family, she refused and traveled last year, few months before she left she gave me some money to add to my business I wouldn’t want to state the actual amount but a bit huge. Of recent her family really suffering because my ex had issue with the person that took her abroad so she’s passing through difficult time though she’s hiding some info from me since she’s not able to make money, she called me of recent that I should please do anything to help her family.

Now I’ve got a new girlfriend I told my new girlfriend about the issue but she said I shouldn’t give my ex family any money, because we ain’t together anymore that if I do she’ll leave me

Please people help me what should I do? My mind is really disturbing me and I still love my ex I wish I’ve a way to bring her back to Nigeria so we can start a family I don’t care the type of job she went there to do and I don’t mind what she has been through. She did so much for me, she made sacrifice that this my new girl won’t do, I don’t even know if my new girlfriend loves me or because of my money.

Though I love my new girlfriend but part of me is with my ex I don’t know if she’ll will be willing to return though I’ve not discussed it with her. And now my new girlfriend treating to leave me if I assist or give back the money my ex gave me as support for my business before she travelled to her family I’ve been down for days thinking so much.


cc: lalasticlala
cc: seun

You know what, try and visits her family to know the position of things
You may want to give the 20k and the problems on ground requires more than 100k

So visit them and tell them she ask you to visit them and know how they are ,then you can find out the difficulties they are facing base on that you will know how much to give

Your ex is such a wonderful person to you and she has touched your life, its pay back time and you have to be there

Your ex may be stranded abroad because most girls that goes there, have to repay to return the money spent taking them there, its good you don't care about what she does there, but am quite sure she you have an idea

After helping her family, call her to open up to you ,what exactly is happening to her .
As the case may be ,if possible let her relocate if she will be allowed to leave ,am very sure her traveling documents are held as collateral till she sort herself out

As for your current girl friend, she can't be the friend your ex is and can't stand for you the way your ex stood for you.
Stop telling her things about your ex families and if she wants to leave, let her leave

Your real woman is your ex girlfriend

5 Likes

Re: Should I Help my Ex girlfriend family? by PrinceOfEast(m): 11:33am On Aug 29
ArticleBeast:

You too na alpha male grin grin una don really abuse this world. You mean you too na alpha Oghene
cheesy

1 Like

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