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Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? - Celebrities - Nairaland

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Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by D1KeleVra(m): 1:11pm On Feb 21, 2011
Lagos - Amid constant rumours making the rounds that several chart-topping musicians are now members of the secret society, Illuminati, Nigeria, known never to carry last, now has its own singing sensation and father of many nations, Tu Face Idibia, as a rumoured member.

Famed Musicians such as Jay-Z, Beyonce, Rick Ross, Kanye West, and Rihanna have all been at one time or another connected to the secret society and are rumoured to make up the higher ranks of the infamous cult. Several outsiders are perplexed at the inclusion of Nigerian Tu Face as he has yet to attain the financial heights or musical success generally enjoyed by fellow society members.

However, speaking with an insider - who chose to remain anonymous to speak candidly on the matter - it was revealed that while Mr Face was yet to achieve the celebrity status internationally that much of the other members enjoy, his incredible ability to spread his seed has made him attractive as the Illuminati feel that should the need ever arise to build an army to defend itself, Mr Face will be very instrumental in pro-creating a new generation, and pro-creating fast.

It was learnt that at his induction in to the society, Mr Face was made to endure a daylong session on how to prevent unwanted pregnancies, or in Nigerian parlance, Belle (not pronounced Belle, as in the French Word, but Belleh).

He was also made to endure a conditioning session in which he was strapped into a chair and electrodes were attached to his something. He was then made to watch pictures of Beyonce and Rihanna repeatedly displayed on a giant screen in front of him, and each picture was accompanied by an electricity shock delivered to his something through the electrodes. This treatment was meant to prevent him from unleashing his manshewo ways on the female members of the society.

Our insider revealed that shortly after the electricity shock treatment, Mr. Face bumped into Beyonce in the hallway of the society and he immediately experienced a fit resembling epilepsy. This was proof that the electrical conditioning had worked.

Beyonce, who didn’t know about the shock therapy, is reported to have been flattered as she thought that Mr. Face had simply caught a case of the Holy Ghost at her beauty.

In related News, Pastor T.B Joshua has offered a cure for all Illuminati members. . . for an undisclosed fee of course.

Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by LoveKing(m): 2:00pm On Feb 21, 2011
Very dry.
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by johnjoel(m): 2:06pm On Feb 21, 2011
you no get work.abeg try to get busy
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by Nobody: 3:24pm On Feb 21, 2011
Crazy write up
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by eendy(f): 3:47pm On Feb 21, 2011
whatever he chooses to do is his business, but for the pendant he is wearing, its a symbol in music & nothing evil.
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by Nobody: 4:09pm On Feb 21, 2011
The most stupid topic on nairaland.
Don't u have something better to do
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by Nobody: 4:13pm On Feb 21, 2011
eendy:

whatever he chooses to do is his business, but for the pendant he is wearing, its a symbol in music & nothing evil.
You are one of two things, either you can type really fast or you have a few seconds to waste on this silly post

1 Like

Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by D1KeleVra(m): 4:23pm On Feb 21, 2011
grin @ ^^^
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by favouredjb(f): 11:06pm On Feb 21, 2011
its not riri

@op,rubbish
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by Nobody: 7:55am On Feb 22, 2011
^^^
See things oooooooo shocked shocked shocked
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by spikedcylinder: 10:24am On Feb 22, 2011
If you people knew what the Illuminati represent, you will never assume Tuface of even Jay Z can be a part of that elitist group.
The end.
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by D1KeleVra(m): 1:41pm On Feb 22, 2011
The End? The end of what? There's no screen play here spiked sad
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by Dolemite(f): 12:32am On Feb 23, 2011
lmao
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by aieromon(m): 8:02am On Feb 23, 2011
I hope this silly thread makes the frontpage.
What a load of crap!
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by Nobody: 10:09am On Feb 23, 2011
spikedcylinder:

If you people knew what the Illuminati represent, you will never assume Tuface of even Jay Z can be a part of that elitist group.
The end.

Please expound
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by D1KeleVra(m): 11:13am On Feb 23, 2011
spikedcylinder:

If you people knew what the Illuminati represent, you will never assume Tuface of even Jay Z can be a part of that elitist group.
The end.


blink182:

Please x-ray
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by Coolabbie: 1:58pm On Feb 23, 2011
Dis is pure bulls.h.it
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by Nobody: 3:16pm On Feb 23, 2011
Coolabbie:

Dis is pure bulls.h.it
aint it ?
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by D1KeleVra(m): 5:47pm On Feb 23, 2011
it aint
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by sweetguy10(m): 1:20am On Feb 24, 2011
The poser must be high on 3days old covered urine . Rubbish
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by ThinTima(f): 3:36pm On Mar 03, 2011
Get a life! Idiot!!
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by russellino: 4:45pm On Mar 03, 2011
actually a very funny, sarcastic write up
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by binhozie(m): 6:13pm On Mar 03, 2011
LMAO @ "Why is he looking at the sky?" cheesy cheesy grin
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by slap1(m): 6:57pm On Mar 03, 2011
blink182:

Please expound
The Illuminati is not a society for kids or 'touts' like Tu Face; it's for high class people: Nobel winners, people like Achebe, J. M Coetzee, Larry King (CNN), Ted Turner, cardinals, Professor Hawkins, Barak Obama, Gordon Brown, Bill Clinton, Nelson Mandela and other 'coded' men.
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by rufflychux(m): 2:48pm On Mar 09, 2011
lame. infact very lame. go back and look at the picture again, doesn't it make you laugh?
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by timaluv: 11:40am On Mar 11, 2011
dont be jealous of his achievement. find something doing
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by kandiikane(m): 1:29am On May 10, 2011
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO@the picture

Is this sarcasm, black shirt, strange chain nko? looooooooooool

Please if you want to talk about illuminati spend atleast a year doing research on them.
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by poweredcom(m): 12:48am On Sep 04, 2011
the poster is an ignoramus
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by MeGaStReEt: 2:02am On Sep 04, 2011
lmao ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by tope3x(m): 6:36pm On Sep 04, 2011
this poster is really crazy
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by ola231: 7:25am On Apr 07, 2012
D1KeleVra: Lagos - Amid constant rumours making the rounds that several chart-topping musicians are now members of the secret society, Illuminati, Nigeria, known never to carry last, now has its own singing sensation and father of many nations, Tu Face Idibia, as a rumoured member.

Famed Musicians such as Jay-Z, Beyonce, Rick Ross, Kanye West, and Rihanna have all been at one time or another connected to the secret society and are rumoured to make up the higher ranks of the infamous cult. Several outsiders are perplexed at the inclusion of Nigerian Tu Face as he has yet to attain the financial heights or musical success generally enjoyed by fellow society members.

However, speaking with an insider - who chose to remain anonymous to speak candidly on the matter - it was revealed that while Mr Face was yet to achieve the celebrity status internationally that much of the other members enjoy, his incredible ability to spread his seed has made him attractive as the Illuminati feel that should the need ever arise to build an army to defend itself, Mr Face will be very instrumental in pro-creating a new generation, and pro-creating fast.

It was learnt that at his induction in to the society, Mr Face was made to endure a daylong session on how to prevent unwanted pregnancies, or in Nigerian parlance, Belle (not pronounced Belle, as in the French Word, but Belleh).

He was also made to endure a conditioning session in which he was strapped into a chair and electrodes were attached to his something. He was then made to watch pictures of Beyonce and Rihanna repeatedly displayed on a giant screen in front of him, and each picture was accompanied by an electricity shock delivered to his something through the electrodes. This treatment was meant to prevent him from unleashing his manshewo ways on the female members of the society.

Our insider revealed that shortly after the electricity shock treatment, Mr. Face bumped into Beyonce in the hallway of the society and he immediately experienced a fit resembling epilepsy. This was proof that the electrical conditioning had worked.

Beyonce, who didn’t know about the shock therapy, is reported to have been flattered as she thought that Mr. Face had simply caught a case of the Holy Ghost at her beauty.

In related News, Pastor T.B Joshua has offered a cure for all Illuminati members. . . for an undisclosed fee of course.




Ogbeni its better u go find beta thing do than †̥o misinform people on NL...dnt't hate success if yu wanna βε̲̣ succesfull....2baba ȋs already up there wtout Τђe aid of Τђe Illuminati's S̶̲̥̅o he wld'nt need them anymore & moreover he's not Τђe over-ambitious type of musician.....S̶̲̥̅o take ur time & study wella........Peace
Re: Tuface And The Illuminati. Could This Be True? by Ogaga4Luv(m): 2:59pm On Apr 07, 2012
[size=13pt]The Illuminati infiltrate and take over organizations of all kinds, from churches to the post office to the corner grocery store, and turn them to their own ends...we rule the World . only putting things in order wink[/size]

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