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When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason - Family - Nairaland

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When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by olawalepopoola: 11:27am On Sep 07
Good day all. Hope we are all fine.
I want to ask what can be done when you get to know and confirm that your mother hates your wife without any tangible reason and all she wants is to either control your home or destroy it by all means.
Valuable answers will be appreciated

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Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by crackhaus: 11:30am On Sep 07
What is the reason she hates her first of all?

This is very important before we can rate it as tangible/intangible.

29 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by Righteousness89(m): 11:32am On Sep 07
From my Experience Counselling Families with Similar Challenges, my Advice is that you and your Wife Stick together and be Soaked in God.

It may Likely become a Spiritual Battle! But if you both can stick together in God, Victory is Certain..

169 Likes 9 Shares

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by olawalepopoola: 11:34am On Sep 07
crackhaus:
What is the reason she hates her first of all?

This is very important before we can rate it as tangible/intangible.
She hates because she was not allowed to control their home. A friend of mine is in that situation now.

77 Likes

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by Amotolongbo(f): 11:36am On Sep 07
olawalepopoola:
Good day all. Hope we are all fine.
I want to ask what can be done when you get to know and confirm that your mother hates your wife without any tangible reason and all she wants is to either control your home or destroy it by all means.
Valuable answers will be appreciated
what God has joined together, let no man (not even the mother) put asunder.

If that was the way the mother’s mother-in-law had acted to dominate the son’s home, would she have lived/stayed to enjoy her husband?

A man should be able to grow up and get the balls to put everyone in her place. The mother should know her place and maintain her lane, same as the wife. With none disturbing each other.

This is African culture and we are always attached to our background. Neverthless, the mother should leave the son to enjoy his wife like she enjoyed her husband

89 Likes 3 Shares

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by olawalepopoola: 12:00pm On Sep 07
Amotolongbo:
what God has joined together, let no man (not even the mother) put asunder.

If that was the way your mother’s mother-in-law had had acted to dominate the son’s home, would she have lived/stayed to enjoy your father?

A man should be able to grow up and get the balls to put everyone in her place. The mother should know her place and maintain her lane, same as the wife. With none disturbing each other.

This is African culture and we are always attached to our background. Neverthless, the mother should leave the son to enjoy his wife like she enjoyed her husband
Good point there. Thanks

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by mamaafrik(m): 12:04pm On Sep 07
The man must be wise to handle his mum wella in this situation,the wife can't do much......

9 Likes

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by sweetmelanin(f): 12:58pm On Sep 07
olawalepopoola:
Good day all. Hope we are all fine.
I want to ask what can be done when you get to know and confirm that your mother hates your wife without any tangible reason and all she wants is to either control your home or destroy it by all means.
Valuable answers will be appreciated

Sit your mother down (heart to heart) and make her admit the REAL reason why she hates your wife... then you can conclude whether it's a "tangible" reason or not.

31 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by cooooooks(m): 1:53pm On Sep 07
You won't marry your mom.

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by Saintmary(f): 4:50pm On Sep 07
olawalepopoola:
Good day all. Hope we are all fine.
I want to ask what can be done when you get to know and confirm that your mother hates your wife without any tangible reason and all she wants is to either control your home or destroy it by all means.
Valuable answers will be appreciated
Help Mama to get a life, or some distraction.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by Jesslove(f): 4:54pm On Sep 07
She may be a witch and your spiritual wife this is why she is jealous of your wife

13 Likes

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by Nobody: 5:58pm On Sep 07
There's a reason for that
Kindly ask her why

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by Ardar(f): 6:24pm On Sep 07
Jesslove:
She may be a witch and your spiritual wife this is why she is jealous of your wife

How can she be a witch, a spiritual wife and his mother all at the same time?

46 Likes 6 Shares

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by jamilyoggy(m): 7:26pm On Sep 07
even for bible them talk say man shall leave thy father and mother's house to form a new family
so if my mama do anyhow i go put her for d position wey she belong cuz as long me and my wife dey go d right direction,she can't break my family for her own selfish interest

10 Likes

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by Taal17: 10:09pm On Sep 07
olawalepopoola:
Good day all. Hope we are all fine.
I want to ask what can be done when you get to know and confirm that your mother hates your wife without any tangible reason and all she wants is to either control your home or destroy it by all means.
Valuable answers will be appreciated

She doesnt have anything left to do

probably lived say its for my kids, now kids are adults she cant control so shes pouring all her energy towards a wife she has no connection to.

Move location and define your boundaries

31 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by ImaIma1(f): 10:39pm On Sep 07
She can't just decide to hate her for no reason or without provocation.

If it is just because she isn't given the chance to control the home, then she has to try to keep that hatred to herself. Not every wife will sit back and allow their MIL come and run their homes.

32 Likes

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by Richy4(m): 10:57pm On Sep 07
ImaIma1:
She can't just decide to hate her for no reason or without provocation.

If it is just because she isn't given the chance to control the home, then she has to try to keep that hatred to herself. Not every wife will sit back and allow their MIL come and run their homes.

Hmmmm!!!! you mean you have never come across someone that dislikes another person without a reason......? shocked

49 Likes 1 Share

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by ImaIma1(f): 11:03pm On Sep 07
Richy4:


Hmmmm!!!! you mean you have never come across someone that dislikes another person without a reason......? shocked


Well...there might be a flimsy underlying reason that she cannot mention. She might feel like the wife is getting the attention she used to get or that her son is spending on the wife more, etc.

That's why I said she just can't hate for no reason. No one can just wake up and hate another person without reason. Something has to be involved.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by Richy4(m): 11:16pm On Sep 07
ImaIma1:


Well...there might be a flimsy underlying reason that she cannot mention. She might feel like the wife is getting the attention she used to get or that her son is spending on the wife more, etc.

That's why I said she just can't hate for no reason. No one can just wake up and hate another person without reason. Something has to be involved.

To be honest I have seen a friend that saw someone for the first time and disliked the person... when questioned about why she disliked the person, she couldn't just give one reason.... It could be that the mother in law was not feeling her 'vibe' at all right from the beginning...

33 Likes

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by ImaIma1(f): 11:32pm On Sep 07
Richy4:


To be honest I have seen a friend that saw someone for the first time and disliked the person... when questioned about why she disliked the person, she couldn't just give one reason.... It could be that the mother in law was not feeling her 'vibe' at all right from the beginning...


I understand your point. But hate is a strong emotion. You can meet someone for the first time and have a bad feeling about the person or just feel strange around the person.

However, to just hate someone for no reason, I don't believe that is possible.

5 Likes

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Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by crackhaus: 7:30am On Sep 08
olawalepopoola:

She hates because she was not allowed to control their home. A friend of mine is in that situation now.
Lol, this comes off like what a wife would say when she is asked to explain the animosity between herself and her mother-in-law.

It is usually much deeper than this.

Your friend should find out the exact reason, that's if he/she can be bothered.

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by ambient: 8:37am On Sep 08
olawalepopoola:
Good day all. Hope we are all fine.
I want to ask what can be done when you get to know and confirm that your mother hates your wife without any tangible reason and all she wants is to either control your home or destroy it by all means.
Valuable answers will be appreciated

Ha just like my husband aunts,they hated me only because for once my lovely husband went against their wish and married me,they got scared of the whole situation and kept hating me,nothing seem to please them,anyway them done tire, i don tire we are cool.

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by Amopeekun(f): 11:04am On Sep 08
It happens o...
There are mothers-in-law who want to be onto everything that happens in their sons houses. From the kinds of foods they should eat, to how the wife should sweep and mop, to when the wife should talk with the husband, to how to arrange the house, to...almost everything. Pray, your sisters don't experience such.
crackhaus:

Lol, this comes off like what a wife would say when she is asked to explain the animosity between herself and her mother-in-law.

It is usually much deeper than this.

Your friend should find out the exact reason, that's if he/she can be bothered.

14 Likes

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by merieam16(f): 8:54pm On Sep 08
Theres nothin u can do about it...buh wisdom is profitable

1 Like

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by GboyegaD(m): 10:59pm On Sep 08
I guess the man has no business getting married if he cannot make the mother understand she has a choice of loving and accepting his wife or letting him be.

10 Likes

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by Karleb(m): 4:35am On Sep 09
olawalepopoola:

She hates because she was not allowed to control their home. A friend of mine is in that situation now.

grin grin

This is what all women say until they become mother-in-laws themselves.

16 Likes

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by Mindlog: 6:12am On Sep 09
Unfortunately this a cycle, most of these mother-in -law were also "hated" by their own mother-in -law who did cause strains in their own marriages. For some of them who still hang on that pain and trauma, sees a means of displacement of repressed negative emotions when their own sons get married.

Some of those wives complaining today are likely to repeat what they experienced with their mother-in -law when their own sons get married.

It takes intentional change to break that unhealthy cycle.

21 Likes

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by crackhaus: 8:58am On Sep 09
Karleb:

grin grin

This is what all women say until they become mother-in-laws themselves.
Lol...
Understandably, anyone who says that is obviously not a mother-in-law to anyone yet – that's the perspective of a wife/future wife.

I'm pretty certain that if we ask those MILs who don't get along with their DILs, they will all have some distinct reasons to give.

The OP ought to find out from the MIL involved to know what the issue is. Only after hearing her own complaints and then deciding if it's tangible/intangible, can any headway be made.

9 Likes

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by EmperorMaria: 9:26am On Sep 09
Richy4:


To be honest I have seen a friend that saw someone for the first time and disliked the person... when questioned about why she disliked the person, she couldn't just give one reason.... It could be that the mother in law was not feeling her 'vibe' at all right from the beginning...

Then there is a reason,,,there must b a reason

5 Likes

Re: When Your Mother Hates Your Wife Without Reason by EmperorMaria: 9:29am On Sep 09
crackhaus:

Lol...
Understandably, anyone who says that is obviously not a mother-in-law to anyone yet – that's the perspective of a wife/future wife.

I'm pretty certain that if we ask those MILs who don't get along with their DILs, they will all have some distinct reasons to give. grin

The OP ought to find out from the MIL involved to know what the issue is. Only after hearing her own complaints and then deciding if it's tangible/intangible, can any headway be made.

Always lookin 4 comments 2 jump upon & change narrative. Is ur mother also like that? Sorry, I just remembrd ure 4rm a family of career women who managed the family well

3 Likes

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