eejo:
I left my Wife in Nigeria early this year for overseas after getting the job of my dream. My Organization is ready to move my family anytime am ready. People are leaving Nigeria because of the Economic situation and the way APC is managing the country. Don't blame the Men but the country.

Nobody is blaming anyone, just that something may eventually give.

yaki84:
ur statement generalise all naija men. U should have jvst knock d guy if his comment choke u

Anyway sorry about that.

BKsoul:
see as you rush conclude and generalize.

BKsoul:
abeg am a female ooooh. See ehn in this life, whatever you do not the story please dont conclude or generalize, if the man stays back here without any tangible thing to do while he has an opportunity of travelling to make the money, na human being go still insult am say because of yansh, he no wan make am..

Why contradicting yourself?

spiralwedge:


Read what you posted again and again and tell me its different from the comment you responded to.

It's still about the money.

Thanks

cocolacec:


As a foreign student in the Scandinavia(degree/masters),you can apply for residence permit with your family right from Naija.
In Uk ,Masters students can bring their spouse and children along. ťThe only requirement is more money ,marriage and birth certificates.

Even as a foreign student at least ur wife would be patient to wait cos it wont be forever.It would just be for 2 or 3 yrs while u do ur programme.Thats not too much.If she is reasonable she can wait.We are talking of married guys who just migrate like that and just stay there for donkey years .No matter how trusting your wife her patience will break down eventually and she will start suspecting you if ur worsen it by avoiding her calls and we shouldnt shy away from the fact too that a number of married nigerian men also get married to european and american women to survive in their host country..this is a fact even if we hate to hear it.If a woman is in such situation i wont blame her if she makes her own decision.

ednut1:
this is false. Women of these days give only pekus without feelings. A typical guy has 2 to 3 girlfriends while the ladies have maybe 3 plus one rich sugar daddy. No emotions

Very very true

Mrscarter:

I've had one night stands years ago just to screw n I'm not proud of it. Wat did achieve me? But being proud of Ur body not being used by ppl who only wanna screw U n use U or knowing U have the strongest loyalty to Ur absent partner and knowing Ur not easy. Or that Ur sexual health is perfect or that U have no reputation as easy or high body count that's all worth much more than a random screw just cos U had urges

So, you didn't see the other partner being used by you? You are funny

Peacefullove:


what i notice in your post is, You speak from a realistic point of view But many here are speaking from am how it should be point of view, they refuse to face reality

many of them here dont what to speak what they experience ..they speak what they fantasize of and when someone says the truth here they great angry.Agreed that many married men have genuine reasons to migrate just like the rest of us have the same reasons to migrate but along the line things will occur.In places like uk,america where it might be beneficial to u to marry one of their citizens u go dey tempted to do am weda u have a wife at home .Imagine not paying monthly rent again or gettting free food tell me wich guy no go fall.Then apart from that u will still be tempted to explore their women.When the women will be throwing themselves at you u will crack.This is why i said most times if u want to travel it is better u just dont rush and marry and if u have a girlfriend its better to break up with her.i know its not easy but it would be for ur own good and that of the other person.And if u married then try ur best as much as possible to communicate back home.make a time to communicate with her and quit bringing up the excuse of being to busy.Always make sure u try as much as possible to do a video call with her and the children.If u read op"s post he said the married woman who is hitting on him her children are begining to look on him as their daddy.I take it that the woman"s husband overseas hardly communicate with his wife and children back home and that is the reason the children are begining to look at a stranger as their daddy.Too bad.

virginprincess:
I have been noticing how you give bad advice on this forum ,why you advice him to sleep with someone else wife, very bad. For those of you quoting me that i misunderstood what mrbrownjay1 said, i don't blame you guys, you all are birds of the same feathers, my point is that he shouldn't have giving the op such delivish advice in the first place.

He didn't give any advice up to the point where you posted this. You might have been reading his posts here with a predetermined mindset

lefulefu:
Sorry i am not using mtn or glo.i am on internet wifi in the place i am renting.Over where i am staying we dont have mtn or glo recharge cards .You just go to a shop if ur credit is finished and tell them to top it for u and u pay .And as for what i said pls pick out the evil thing i said.I said if a man is staying legally in europe and is still giving excuses why he cant bring his wife over then he is married or has a girlfriend where he is staying ..thats the obvious truth .At the time i was in a language school then in benin a number of the female students who joined had husbands overseas and the enrolled cos they wanted to join their husbands since it was one of the requirements.One of the young lady her husband was going to school in germany yet he wanted his wife to join him,Thats how u know a man who truely loves his wife.You cant be staying legally in a country and be saying u cant allow ur wife to join u..why?.Only time a man would be making such excuse is when he has a woman over there.As for ur own case i can understand..corona virus globally changed everything..it closed down schools,airports etc..i understand and everybody understands that.We are talking of the world b4 the covid 19.A man is already settled abroad but he still giving excuses of why he doesnt want his wife to come over ..what are his reasons? .one person here said he cant allow his wife to join him cos his wife will collect his properties using oyibo court system .so can we say that is the most reasons many married nigerian men overseas dont want their wives to join them?

That is a huge factor

emkz:


MrBrownJay1, you have sometimes commented on some of my submissions here, and you don't look like a small fry in these matters. So I'd ask you to be as objective as possible: there are instances where the women are actually the ones who don't want to relocate with their husbands. They prefer the man works abroad for years and send them money home for them to build or run a business. By build or run a business, I mean using the man's sweat to take care of the man servicing them. They don't mind seeing their mugu husbands once in two years. Would you still call the husband a fool in that instance? Be objective, please.

Someone raised a question in one of the earlier comments as to why people get married in the first place. I expected people to take it up because that is something many people don't understand but believe they do. Were it possible, I'd like to take that up by creating a thread and ask people why they married their spouses, how they knew the spouses were right from them, when they realized their lives got better because of the marriage, when they realized the marriage was a mistake and how they coped on the realization that their partner married them for the wrong reasons.

I can tell you that if we sample 100 random persons, we'd get 500 random reasons why they get married or seek relationships. Underlying the reasons is societal expectation. Look at the minister of humanitarian affairs that only just got married at 46. I'd like to know her reasons for staying so long. I know women who are 50 and unmarried.

Why do you people get married? Many fly into marriage without a clue as to what to do there. Many think they can carry their childish behaviour into marriage. Many think cheating in marriage is acceptable because their parents do it. Marriage is a BIG deal. Having attended many weddings ushering in a marriage, I get scared when I hear the words spoken at those events. Except I am 100% convinced, I won't speak those words to a partner. It is a big deal. Marriage is spiritual. It is the first gift God gave man. But many of us treat it with levity. I hear people saying women are cheating craftily in marriages than men. For those who sleep with other people's husbands and those who sleep with other people's wives, it may take 2, 7 or even 25 years or even at the time you are mounting, you shall face the consequences but not in the way you expect.

Married women who have cheated, share your stories. Married men who have cheated, share your stories.

u no lie guy...sometime ago i was attending a language school there was this young lady also attending.She would tell us that her husband is in Germany doing a student programme and he wants her to join him but she has no desire to join him.that she prefers that he stays there while he sends money to her to run her hairdressing and resturant business.If a woman starts sounding like that the man go know say something dey watsap.nothing good comes from a long distance relationship that is on a permanent basis.See the way Pastor Chris own long distance marriage end up.

flyingpig:
That is a huge factor

yea for woman wey u no trust or if na ppl arrange the woman give u as wife

lefulefu:
Its good of u..even with the covid19 makiing traveling difficult u still planning to see ur wife in november.shows u are a good man.But not all guys are like this.even with the ease to travel b4 covid 19 some men still abandon their wives.some will change their phone number and cut off all communication and marry one oyibo woman and start a fresh life with their oyibo shorty .i don see tire dat my mouth no even fit talk again

If a man gets wedded in Nigeria, moves to the west and brings the wife over, things go south and divorce papers are filed, will he lose his assets despite not been a signatory to court marriage or even getting wedded in the west?

lefulefu:
y[b]ea for woman wey u no trust[/b] or if na ppl arrange the woman give u as wife

my predicament

steeltrust:
so u mean I'll I show my kids love and at d end de won't Ve my time wen de grow up

bro is unfair na

No Sir, they will definitely love you but they will get married to a spouse you didn’t raise, start their own family and have to face the challenges of raising their own children. They may travel far and wide to greener pastures far away from where you are.......
And please don’t raise any kids to look after you after retirement. You should take care of that.

flyingpig:
If a man gets wedded in Nigeria, moves to the west and brings the wife over, things go south and divorce papers are filed, will he lose his assets despite not been a signatory to court marriage or even getting wedded in the west?

Capital YES!

ibedun:


Capital YES!

That is our problem Before you bring your wife overseas, just be mentally ready for a divorce. So that it won't appear as a shock to you.

samsolite:


STOP!!!

Stop spreading half truths and outright lies. You are in the Carrebian islands on a student visa and don;t have an iota is what Nigerian men pass through in other countries. You keep committing this fallacy of hasty generalization and trying to garner likes by pandering to what people want to hear. Please STOP IT!!!

guy oo i am an edo guy...when it comes to traveling we dey do am well hence we all know everything about it.Weda documented or an undocumented migrant we all know what a traveler goes through.There are benefits u might get in some country if u marry their women so tell me why would the average nigerian guy let such an opportunity pass him by even if he has a wife in naija .We are known to be go getters so make we no pretend here .There even guys when they get married to their oyibo wives or foreign wives and the woman insist on coming to africa to know his ppl the man will tell his naija based wife to pose as his younger sister when he brings his oyibo wife to naija.Such a story occured some time ago which i read on instagram and i believe it was put here too.the young man affected is even from my hometown in edo state.His parents pressurised his naija wife to allow him to marry a yankee woman.The yankee woman helped over to yankee but the main wife in naija couldnt take it anymore and had to expose him,She sent a threatning mail to the american woman to leave her husband alone and that she is the rightly wife.Such things happen on a daily basis..we read about it and we see it..so i dont understand which one u now saying hasty generaliztion .

Mrscarter:


U mean like bad influences? Yeah sometimes ppl make choices the way their friends do.
I used to be easily influenced as a teen

really ,I hardly get Influenced ,I don't kw if I have been in this life before ,so I don't get freaked by sociality material

flyingpig:
If a man gets wedded in Nigeria, moves to the west and brings the wife over, things go south and divorce papers are filed, will he lose his assets despite not been a signatory to court marriage or even getting wedded in the west?

if its a woman who started with u and have ur interest at heart i dont see a reason why she would want to fuk up the marriage over money and assets

lefulefu:
if its a woman who started with u and have ur interest at heart i dont see a reason why she would want to fuk up the marriage over money and assets

I hope so oo

flyingpig:
my predicament

my aunty friend"s.she has a young dauther who finished from the higher instituition.This girl was lucky to see a uk based naija guy on facebook that she started an online relationship with.D guy has carried her back with him to the uk now.Though when i saw the man physically the time he came to do what was required of him na very advanced man sha oo.He would be like he is in his late 60s or probably early 70s and he's bald but then na uk base guy.The girl on the other hand is tall,fair beautiful and very young.me just wonder how such a girl will be able to stay faithful when over there in the uk with his man .so for trust the man must have a really strong trust to just see someone on the internet and bring her over with him to uk .

lefulefu:
my aunty friend"s.she has a young dauther who finished from the higher instituition.This girl was lucky to see a uk based naija guy on facebook that she started an online relationship with.D guy has carried her back with him to the uk now.Though when i saw the man physically the time he came to do what was required of him na very advanced man sha oo.He would be like he is in his late 60s or probably early 70s and he's bald but then na uk base guy.The girl on the other hand is tall,fair beautiful and very young.me just wonder how such a girl will be able to stay faithful when over there in the uk with his man .so for trust the man must have a really strong trust to just see someone on the internet and bring her over with him to uk .

he has underlying health issues and want to enjoy his remaining years on earth being taken care of.

flyingpig:
I hope so oo

most of the stories we hear about women taking of men"s assets na mostly women wey dem arrange for such men or they just met them on the internet.The regular stories u hear of nigerian women enrolled in medical schools by their husbands in the US and uk and the women suing for divorce after graduation do u think such women started with the men? These are quite young girls imported from naija by these men or by their parents nau.How love wan take dey in such type of a union.

dingbang:
he has underlying health issues and want to enjoy his remaining years on earth being taken care of.

now u brought this up it could be a very valid reason.At the time my aunty and her friend were talking about the man i was thinking na one swaggalicious looking young dude .Imagine my shock when i see the man finally and i shock say na one advanced looking man.But this babe dingbang..if u see her ehn .maybe she would be faithful sha

Chino4NAUTH:

I won't mount her bro.. Let another man do... Seriously I wonder as well why men do such, living this fine young woman without any touch of a man for years.

Thank you sir! Respect

eejo:
I left my Wife in Nigeria early this year for overseas after getting the job of my dream. My Organization is ready to move my family anytime am ready. People are leaving Nigeria because of the Economic situation and the way APC is managing the country. Don't blame the Men but the country.

We like blaming everything on the country when we ourselves have a choice to make. I left my wife and kids in Naija and will be joining me February of next year after I filed for their residency. A Lot depends on the partners and how they want the relationship to be. As for those saying wives of abroad residents are interested in them, becareful not all of them are interested in you but because you think everything a lady think of is sex is your own undoing. They have other things on their mind. I wouldn't blame the country one bit, it is a choice I made.

lefulefu:
now u brought this up it could be a very valid reason.At the time my aunty and her friend were talking about the man i was thinking na one swaggalicious looking young dude .Imagine my shock when i see the man finally and i shock say na one advanced looking man.But this babe dingbang..if u see her ehn .maybe she would be faithful sha

she will be faithful until he dies. She is just marrying for the money which is the contract between two of them. I have a friend who is late now who wanted to marry a woman from my family. He had health issues, I guess he knew he had little time to live on earth so he just wanted to get married.

This your niece that you know just saw an opportunity and cashed into it, she is a very smart lady.

Chino4NAUTH:
I have been hearing about women who married their husbands and the man happens to be staying in overseas or moves to overseas thereafter for economic reasons to Carter for the welfare of his family.. Why it is good and fine economically it has left a deficient emotional vacuum for the wife and children esp if it's a young family.

I have a woman in our building whose husband stays abroad but she's always looking forward to talking with me and even trying to make me her confidant but I know the risk associated and had to find my away not to get more closer to her.she has only 2 kids fresh and cute.. Mind you she's still very much pretty and young.. I never knew she was married till I saw her fine kids

Share your experience with us

I was searching for houses to rent once upon a time and a woman was the landlady whose hubby was leaving abroad and wanted to rent part of her flat. The agent told me she is selective and only wants a single guy. I wondered and decided to try, got there she said she said i an ok that i can pay but she does not like someone who gets female visitors anyhow that i can only have one babe. I said ok, left and never came back. I think the orders, rules and regulations is too much for me also, I think she is looking for male company. Abroad husband no be am.

dingbang:
she will be faithful until he dies. She is just marrying for the money which is the contract between two of them. I have a friend who is late now who wanted to marry a woman from my family. He had health issues, I guess he knew he had little time to live on earth so he just wanted to get married.

This your niece that you know just saw an opportunity and cashed into it, she is a very smart lady.

seems she took a better chance..at least its better than getting nacked by a young guy who has no future ambition than to be wearing a sagged jeans trousers and making noise all over the place.She is one of the dauthers of my aunty"s friend.I think the woman's first dauther.Since when i witnessed that incident i always tell any naija girl who complains about not seeing husband to try and log into facebook and search for overasea based naija guys.I bet there very advanced naija men in their 70s and 80s who are look got young maidens as wives to look after them at their old age.It wont be much of a stress cos he wont be banging u dat much like a young dude and besides u will have comfort.

samsolite:


STOP!!!

Stop spreading half truths and outright lies. You are in the Carrebian islands on a student visa and don;t have an iota is what Nigerian men pass through in other countries. You keep committing this fallacy of hasty generalization and trying to garner likes by pandering to what people want to hear. Please STOP IT!!!

this your grammar sef

showafrica:


I was searching for houses to rent once upon a time and a woman was the landlady whose hubby was leaving abroad and wanted to rent part of her flat. The agent told me she is selective and only wants a single guy. I wondered and decided to try, got there she said she said i an ok that i can pay but she does not like someone who gets female visitors anyhow that i can only have one babe. I said ok, left and never came back. I think the orders, rules and regulations is too much for me also, I think she is looking for male company. Abroad husband no be am.

my landlord does not mind if i have a female visitor..but wetin im no like is if u camp her for a long time.she can spend one or two nights or even a week but he will frown if u are keeping her for months.Landladies tend to have more issues than landlords

lefulefu:
seems she took a better chance..at least its better than getting nacked by a young guy who has no future ambition than to be wearing a sagged jeans trousers and making noise all over the place.She is one of the dauthers of my aunty"s friend.I think the woman's first dauther.Since when i witnessed that incident i always tell any naija girl who complains about not seeing husband to try and log into facebook and search for overasea based naija guys.I bet there very advanced naija men in their 70s and 80s who are look got young maidens as wives to look after them at their old age.It wont be much of a stress cos he wont be banging u dat much like a young dude and besides u will have comfort.

that is why I want to go abroad so I can take uyaiincomparabl along with me