Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

SegFault:

You will give her the money to take care of him ba.

Hangulsaram:

See how judgmental you are? What if he has succeeded and came looking after her? Somebody that sacrificed his school fees for just girlfriend then, you didn’t even reason that way. I’m not saying she should joking take him back but he he has something doing to take care of their responsibilities why not. You are so mean my dear.

bigtt76:
The guy would have to make dk with what is available to him after she and her son have been taken care of. It would be insensitive of the guy to feel entitled... he would need to work to support her and the son of course.

merieam16:
oga face ur work abeg i dey go. bye

flyca:
@Divanona - If after he left, he graduated, got a good job, married a slay queen in his office / level. Or if he became a “Laycon” during his away years. He would have had a sweet family with 3 kids. Do you think he would remember you or remember his son with you? What exactly is the confusion here?

Chanchit:



If you didn't start by asking me what's wrong with being a feminist, I might have taken time to reply you.

lielbree:


You are too closed minded. That is not tenable position to be in, this is 2020.

Bennysam:
Yeye dey smell

Chanchit:


Lmao! Feminists are always closed minded. So telling me I'm closed minded is like an olosho preaching to a police man

lielbree:


And ur assumption is based on what?


Fallacy of hasty generalisation...

Forget what your personal idea of feminism is. Study what exactly feminism is in it's true form . Don't criticise what you don't know.

Chanchit:



Wo, Abeg leave me jare. This afternoon ni too hot to dey argue?!

lielbree:
I leave u with your ignorance.
Selah.

Zzor:
I have been looking for stories like this to read here since,it is well madam op

merieam16:
Nairalander guys and hypocrisy, so u can be quick to say she should help him buh if the other way round u'll be d first to shout " oga leave that babe, Nigerian babes aint loyal" abi

merieam16:
U dey mind them ni, women av nt suffered and will never suffer unless u choose to suffer in their hands

Mindlog:

Please do explain her need for him in order to balance emotionally.

Viserion:
If only he came back with money, I believe we wouldn't see this thread

Midadeola:
God bless you

siraj1402:
Send him back

Hushpuppies:
He needs a second chance......... We all do.
You guys can still live above the storm together.
Looking forward to your wedding, cheers.

SweetCunt97:
She should drop d fool like a pile of hot shit joh

Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

flyca:

So you said to me “you are mean” and somehow to feel good you diluted it “my dear”? Lol I am not your dear o, abeg. You are an uncouth fellow who insults people that do not share the same opinion with you.

If you read my comment very well, I asked her a question, “does she think he would come for her if he succeded?”. Whatever she decides is strictly her choice. But come to think of it - 8 years! 8 solid years! She begged him not to go, he was adamant and left! What if he came back and she was already married and living the life of her dreams? Just put your sisters in her shoes for once.That's all I have to say. Cheers.

Sarang:


Don’t let him into your life
He will impregnant you and dump you AGAIN!
When people show you their color the first time, believe them.
You did not come into this world to suffer
And your son can have a good relationship with this man WITHOUT marriage
Run for your life! RUN!


Plus he is penniless!
What exactly was he doing with his life all these while to turn out this bad despite his aspirations?!
They wean.. his aspirations are dead!

Onyxunlimited:
You took care of his son alone including feeding, clothing, shelter, hospital bills after delivery and when sick, school fees etc that should cover for the school fees he paid for you over 100 times.
Now what do you want to do with a jobless man? Do you want to be the man and the woman in the family when you are not a widow? Will you raise your kid with your money and eventually get pregnant and raise other kids too by yourself? Will you cook, clean, do laundry and do all the duties of a wife and still hustle like a man to feed your children and your husband? When your family grows, do you know that you may have to move out of your brother's house and pay rent?
My candid advice is for you to allow the father of your kid visitation right and that's all. If you like start dating him and get pregnant again for him, don't say nobody warned you ooo.
8 years is too long to be away from you guys. He only came back because no other woman will accept him.
Be wise, woman!