My Dad is still very much alive and owns a property, flats which he rents out.

We are three children, I'm the last , I have an elder sister and brother. My brother is the first child and first Son.

We girls are both married.

Years ago, a particular flat was allocated to my brother to live in when he gets married.
Then suddenly my brother said he won't live there because of the standard of the property and wants to rent out the place , top some money up and pay for his new place.
My father has said no, that my brother can not collect rent for his property while he is still alive.

My sister came up with a suggestion to my dad and said she wants to set up a clinic with that particular flat and asked my dad for it
My father agreed without informing my brother and I , which caused some issues and disagreement because the said flat my brother was still contending for it.

My sister and dad went ahead to start work on the said flat without informing us but I heard from my mother, I asked her and she said she owes us no explanation.

My brother is totally upset and sad about this, I asked her to choose another flat for peace to reign but she said no.
We both have government jobs but my sister does not, My sister is very wealthy and gives my dad a lot of money, even helps me out too.
But I don't want to be bought over because of her money, I want to be fair and I have asked her to approach my brother for a dialogue but she refused.

Please, I need advice so the love we share will not be destroyed.

The truth of the matter is, you no fit decide for who get something who to dash him thing or how to do him thing.

It remains your father's property and he could choose to demolish it if it so pleases him.

If your brother had taken possession of the said flat I'm sure your sister would have settled for an alternative.

However, I would advise that your father puts a will in place if he hasn't already to mitigate against a further breakdown of sibling-relationship.

Your brother should be looking beyond his father's property.

People still dey get eyes for parents properties these days?

Following

Your father owes you all no explanation. Its his house, his sweat. Abi you people want to share his property whilst he is alive?

The solution comes from all parties working together to secure peace. Your brother should first of all go and apologise to your father. He did not do well by saying the property he was given was not good enough to live in, being that he doesn't have property himself. So that's why your dad is angry with him and wants to teach him a lesson.

Your wealthy sister has seen another opportunity for buisness and is taking advantage of the situation because your father will prefer her plan to your brother's plan. She didn't do well by placing herself in the middle like that. Are u sure you guys don't have previous scores to settle?


Solution: your brother can apologise to your dad and ask for the flat back to live in it. That should solve it. I doubt he will do it though, the level of pride in the world now I'd something else. He should alternatively still apologise to your dad for the statement that the place is not good enough for his standard and then go and look for a place of his own standard without expecting support from your dad. That will give him his respect back.

Your sister sha. She should calm down and apologise to your bro but I think she's also low key offended by your elder brother's actions and wants to prove a point. If your brother can apologise to his dad and look for a place for himself she might reflect and offer him the flat back but he should not take it.

daddytime:
The truth of the matter is, you no fit decide for who get something who to dash him thing or how to do him thing.

It remains your father's property and he could choose to demolish it if it so pleases him.

If your brother had taken possession of the said flat I'm sure your sister would have settled for an alternative.

However, I would advise that your father puts a will in place if he hasn't already to mitigate against a further breakdown of sibling-relationship.

Your brother should be looking beyond his father's property.

Thank you so much, so much truth in your advice.

My main fear is the breakdown of siblings relationship, especially when my father leaves this world.
Don't want any bickering over properties.

Lols...I can't advice my dad to write a will ooooo, don't want him to feel I want to kill him.
Thank you once more.

Where is the respect for our older siblings, first child for that matter.

Why do people complicate things?

Some ladies and unnecessary wahala, what will it take to choose a different flat.

No lies, even your parents didn't help the issue.
They should have communicated with your brother to let him know the latest developments, and hear his own opinion.

If your parents or sibling do not want to cooperate, then kindly advise your brother to make alternate plans.

I understand where your dad is coming from, but atleast he should have communicated with your brother first.

To those out there, try making plans without reliance on your parents' property, even if they promised you the whole world, cuz when tables turn......

Let me wait for the elders

Prognose:
The solution comes from all parties working together to secure peace. Your brother should first of all go and apologise to your father. He did not do well by saying the property he was given was not good enough to live in, being that he doesn't have property himself. So that's why your dad is angry with him and wants to teach him a lesson.

Your wealthy sister has seen another opportunity for buisness and is taking advantage of the situation because your father will prefer her plan to your brother's plan. She didn't do well by placing herself in the middle like that. Are u sure you guys don't have previous scores to settle?


Solution: your brother can apologise to your dad and ask for the flat back to live in it. That should solve it. I doubt he will do it though, the level of pride in the world now I'd something else. He should alternatively still apologise to your dad for the statement that the place is not good enough for his standard and then go and look for a place of his own standard without expecting support from your dad. That will give him his respect back.

Your sister sha. She should calm down and apologise to your bro but I think she's also low key offended by your elder brother's actions and wants to prove a point. If your brother can apologise to his dad and look for a place for himself she might reflect and offer him the flat back but he should not take it.

My brother already has a house and this matter only came up after my sister made her intentions known, which he said in our last family meeting that he and his wife will relocate once their rent expires.
But I was shocked when my mother told me they've started work and my brother was not informed.

My brother feels belittled that my sister is using her wealth to overshadow his right as the first son and first child.

mename:
Where is the respect for our older siblings, first child for that matter.

Why do people complicate things?

Some ladies and unnecessary wahala, what will it take to choose a different flat.

No lies, even your parents didn't help the issue.
They should have communicated with your brother to let him know the latest developments, and hear his own opinion.

If your parents or sibling do not want to cooperate, then kindly advise your brother to make alternate plans.

I understand where your dad is coming from, but atleast he should have communicated with your brother first.

To those out there, try making plans without reliance on your parents' property, even if they promised you the whole world, cuz when tables turn......

Let me wait for the elders

That's my sincere plea with her, to get another flat for peace sake, I feel so because I don't want siblings rivalry.

bryanarchie:
My Dad is still very much alive and owns a property, flats which he rents out.

We are three children, I'm the last , I have an elder sister and brother. My brother is the first child and first Son.

We girls are both married.

Years ago, a particular flat was allocated to my brother to live in when he gets married.
Then suddenly my brother said he won't live there because of the standard of the property and wants to rent out the place , top some money up and pay for his new place.
My father has said no, that my brother can not collect rent for his property while he is still alive.

My sister came up with a suggestion to my dad and said she wants to set up a clinic with that particular flat and asked my dad for it
My father agreed without informing my brother and I , which caused some issues and disagreement because the said flat my brother was still contending for it.

My sister and dad went ahead to start work on the said flat without informing us but I heard from my mother, I asked her and she said she owes us no explanation.

My brother is totally upset and sad about this, I asked her to choose another flat for peace to reign but she said no.
We both have government jobs but my sister does not, My sister is very wealthy and gives my dad a lot of money, even helps me out too.
But I don't want to be bought over because of her money, I want to be fair and I have asked her to approach my brother for a dialogue but she refused.

Please, I need advice so the love we share will not be destroyed.

Sorry to say,but your Bro is being childish here. He was offered the property strictly on residency basis and he said no. He prefers rentage in which your dad is averse to. Now your elder sister suggested something more appealing to your dad..A Clinic!
There's no fuss here, your brother should move on and aspire to have his own house too. You can't be in between when taking decisions as a man, you have to be decisive. Whatever the outcome, whether positive or negative, you take it and move ahead.

Kingsasian:
People still dey get eyes for parents properties these days?

Before nko, that's what most people live off in a country where poverty kills faster than cancer and corona virus.

What Your bro did is bad belittled your father property unworthy and some person comes up renovating and you blaming her,that what your bro should have done to the property to make it better place to live. Talk(psych) to him where he did wrong and let him forget it what will be will be

hakeemhakeem:
What Your bro did is bad belittled your father property unworthy and some person comes up renovating and you blaming her,that what your bro should have done to the property to make it better place to live. Talk(psych) to him where he did wrong and let him forget it what will be will be

A different angle...

mariahAngel:


A different angle...

Yes, different angle...that's why I love nairaland..
Different views

It's quite obvious here that your sister never had any regard for your elder brother, and she may also be a greedy person.
Your father who honestly should know better, has allowed himself to be used as the tool to bring about discord in your family.

Please, I need advice so the love we share will not be destroyed.

Your father is the one you should be talking to about this. He is using his own hand to destroy the love that should exist between his children... and all for what? Because he gets a lot of money from your sister.

I'm sorry to say, but he is not wise.

If he didn't want your brother to earn money (rent) on the flat while he is alive, why then would he allow your sister use it as a clinic where she will also earn money?

Makes no damn sense...

crackhaus:
It's quite obvious here that your sister never had any regard for your elder brother, and she may also be a greedy person.
Your father who honestly should know better, has allowed himself to be used as the tool to bring about discord in your family.


Your father is the one you should be talking to about this. He is using his own hand to destroy the love that should exist between his children... and all for what? Because he gets a lot of money from your sister.

I'm sorry to say, but he is not wise.

If he didn't want your brother to earn money (rent) on the flat while he is alive, why then would he allow your sister use it as a clinic where she will also earn money?

Makes no damn sense...

Hmmmmmmm...I've talked to my dad but he is not budging because I believe he wants to have the pride his daughter has a hospital and he also feels that we both have a government job and my sister does not, so that's her compensation.
I also blame my brother too, because he would have renovated there and lived in it.

I just feel my dad and sister would have been more tactical and shown regard towards my brother.

bryanarchie:
My Dad is still very much alive and owns a property, flats which he rents out.

We are three children, I'm the last , I have an elder sister and brother. My brother is the first child and first Son.

We girls are both married.

Years ago, a particular flat was allocated to my brother to live in when he gets married.
Then suddenly my brother said he won't live there because of the standard of the property and wants to rent out the place , top some money up and pay for his new place.
My father has said no, that my brother can not collect rent for his property while he is still alive.

My sister came up with a suggestion to my dad and said she wants to set up a clinic with that particular flat and asked my dad for it
My father agreed without informing my brother and I , which caused some issues and disagreement because the said flat my brother was still contending for it.

My sister and dad went ahead to start work on the said flat without informing us but I heard from my mother, I asked her and she said she owes us no explanation.

My brother is totally upset and sad about this, I asked her to choose another flat for peace to reign but she said no.
We both have government jobs but my sister does not, My sister is very wealthy and gives my dad a lot of money, even helps me out too.
But I don't want to be bought over because of her money, I want to be fair and I have asked her to approach my brother for a dialogue but she refused.

Please, I need advice so the love we share will not be destroyed.

..
Don't understand..
Nor be your papa get house..
Isnt he free to do whatsoever with his property again..
Children these days dey get mind oo..

:A variety viewpoint...Yes, variety viewpoint...that's why I love nairaland..variety opinion

bryanarchie:

Hmmmmmmm...I've talked to my dad but he is not budging because I believe he wants to have the pride his daughter has a hospital and he also feels that we both have a government job and my sister does not, so that's her compensation.
I also blame my brother too, because he would have renovated there and lived in it.

I just feel my dad and sister would have been more tactical and shown regard towards my brother.

I don't follow this.

Is she not already more wealthy than both of you who have government jobs?

Well the bottom line is, whatever they were gonna decide, they should have involved your brother whom the flat was originally allocated to.
It's just simple courtesy, and it eliminates bad blood.

crackhaus:

I don't follow this.

Is she not already more wealthy than both of you who have government jobs?

Well the bottom line is, whatever they were gonna decide, they should have involved your brother whom the flat was originally allocated to.
It's just simple courtesy, and it eliminates bad blood.

Her wealth is more from her husband, her husband is wealthy.

While my mother used her connection to get my brother and I government jobs, so he feels since my sister's government job is not coming forth, then he wants to settle her this way.

Totally agree on your last sentence.

Uyi168:
..
Don't understand..
Nor be your papa get house..
Isnt he free to do whatsoever with his property again..
Children these days dey get mind oo..

Yes, it is.

He is ooooooo....I talked to my brother and he is letting it go

bryanarchie:



Yes, it is.

He is ooooooo....I talked to my brother and he is letting it go

..
He needs to..

Uyi168:
..
He needs to..

I pray he genuinely does so and as in with a sincere and loving heart.

bryanarchie:



I pray he genuinely does so and as in with a sincere and loving heart.

..
Yeah..
Those of us wey our papa nor get plenty property, we die

I spoke withy brother and he promised to let go, lessons learnt.

I just pray he can genuinely and sincerely put this behind him, with love and understanding.
I hope no bad blood erupts.

Thank you and God help us.

we no die oo

Uyi168:
..
Yeah..
Those of us wey our papa nor get plenty property, we die

HarunaWest:

Sorry to say,but your Bro is being childish here. He was offered the property strictly on residency basis and he said no. He prefers rentage in which your dad is averse to. Now your elder sister suggested something more appealing to your dad..A Clinic?
There's no fuss here, your brother should move on and aspire to have his own house too. You can't be in between when taking decisions as a man, you have to be decisive. Whatever the outcome, whether positive or negative, you take it and move ahead.

i like this comment

bryanarchie:
I spoke withy brother and he promised to let go, lessons learnt.

I just pray he can genuinely and sincerely put this behind him, with love and understanding.
I hope no bad blood erupts.

Thank you and God help us.

Was he given another flat/property?

Really touching, let love rule, May God Almighty see you through this

crackhaus:

Was he given another flat/property?

Not yet but I don't think he will accept it, even if my father considers it...

<<< You brother has no case here.. Assuming he accepted to live in that building and your sister requests for the same property, I would have said hmmm!!! what a lady..

<<<Since he doesn't want that property, he should choose another one.. he became interested again because someone showed interest..

<<<Sorry to say this but your brother's attitude is annoying.. he wants to rent your father's house and collect money because your father doesn't know how to do that right? You father is an intelligent man.. either he lives there or he should forget about the building.. Rent indeed