A quick question, especially directed at those knowledgeable or experienced about this sort of matter:

Is it normal to sometimes not want to be seen with a lady you're thinking of possibly getting married to?

I think this is not a good sign, if you ask me. But I haven't been in a situation like this before, so I don't really know what to think.

Is this a feeling I can possibly get over with time after getting married to this person? Please advise.

Anyone?

There is absolutely no sense getting married to a lady u cannot be identified with.

Something is definitely wrong somewhere if u have this kind of resentment

infogenius:
There is absolutely no sense getting married to a lady u cannot be identified with.

Something is definitely wrong somewhere if u have this kind of resentment

Thanks for your response, sir. One is better than none.

I agree with that your first sentence. I was just wondering if it's something I could overcome with time. Do you think so?

I won't call it resentment per se. I don't feel hatred towards her. It's just that she sometimes looks older (even though I am supposed to be older) or I don't feel comfortable about her appearance.

.

ThaThinka:


Thanks for your response, sir. One is better than none.

I agree with that your first sentence. I was just wondering if it's something I could overcome with time. Do you think so?

I won't call it resentment per se. I don't feel hatred towards her. It's just that she sometimes looks older (even though I am supposed to be older) or I don't feel comfortable about her appearance.

U're now talking.
If you love her, don't bother about how she looks. It's not her looks u're in love with but her personality.
The truth is that u may not change after you marry her. The only time you can get used to hanging out with her in the public is now.

My brother care less about how people will see the two of u. If she looks younger dem go talk, so y bother?

ThaThinka:
Anyone?

This feeling you are feeling is Gods way of telling you, that you are about to make a big mistake if you proceed with the wedding.

Place everything on hold now and rethink.

ThaThinka:


Thanks for your response, sir. One is better than none.

I agree with that your first sentence. I was just wondering if it's something I could overcome with time. Do you think so?

I won't call it resentment per se. I don't feel hatred towards her. It's just that she sometimes looks older (even though I am supposed to be older) or I don't feel comfortable about her appearance.

Why do you want to marry her?
Is it an arranged marriage thingy?

ThaThinka:

I won't call it resentment per se. I don't feel hatred towards her. It's just that she sometimes looks older (even though I am supposed to be older) or I don't feel comfortable about her appearance.

It is normal if you do not get a total package in a partner; the partner you need and the partner society would love to see you with. The partner that complements you and the partner you want to be photographed with. Men and women face this problem, so no let anybody make you feel bad. Last last, many would make compromises that can’t even be fixed. You are lucky yours can be fixed.

Some have partners that once they tell them the occasion, they would appear looking like they walked straight out of the magazine. The guy will be nodding his head/smiling sheepishly when people hail him that his money is working.

Appearance? She looks older? Is it her hair? Makeup, dressing or what? It could be she is just not trendy or overly conscious with such mundane things. Maybe due to lack or total poor taste and orientation. Simply teach her. Relationships are meant to make us better.

Whatever got you attracted first and kept you since, is the constant. Anything else na OS upgrade. Some of these girls you see for IG, na iPhone plus filter o. Some also put in a lot of work to look that way, some with the support of their guys. Soup wey sweet, na money kill am.

Do you love her and you're sure she's the woman you want to settle with?
It's rare to see a total package in a partner especially women.She can be beautiful facially and not tall or beautiful but too fat.She may have a good figure but not good character etc.
The moment you decide this is who I want to be with,you must be confident in yourself and in your partner.

OP Are you talking about having your own space, mingling with bros instead of the heartthrob?..

Thanks infogenius and all others that responded. Pocohantas, that's deep.

mariahAngel:


Why do you want to marry her?
Is it an arranged marriage thingy?

It's not an arranged marriage thingy. In fact, I often tell her not to think in the direction of marriage yet. I haven't really done anything that could make me feel indebted to her.

I'm only thinking of possibly getting married to her because she seems the understanding and supportive type.

@thorpido, I am not fully sure I'm love. I just feel for her somehow.

Richy4, um, I am not certain I got your drift.

ThaThinka:
Thanks infoge.nius and all others that responded. Poco.hantas, that's deep.



It's not an arranged marriage thingy. In fact, I often tell her not to think in the direction of marriage yet. I haven't really done anything that could make me feel indebted to her.

I'm only thinking of possibly getting married to her because she seems the understanding and supportive type.

@thorpido, I am not fully sure I'm love. I just feel for her somehow.

Rich.y4, um, I am not certain I got your drift.

The bold shows what 'level' you are in the relationship.You're not into her yet.That explains why she's not the girl you want to show off.

ThaThinka:




It's not an arranged marriage thingy. In fact, I often tell her not to think in the direction of marriage yet. I haven't really done anything that could make me feel indebted to her.

I'm only thinking of possibly getting married to her because she seems the understanding and supportive type.

I am not fully sure I'm love. I just feel for her somehow.

um, I am not certain I got your drift.

Do you think there's a possibility you'll come to love her?
Do you think she knows you're not proud of being seen with her? How does that make her feel?
She might not be complaining now, but what if when you're married, you're not able to give her the affection that she needs from you?
Does her presence irritate you sometimes?
Do you enjoy her company?
Do you only want her around when you need her? What about when she needs you?

ThaThinka:
Thanks infogenius and all others that responded. Pocohantas, that's deep.



It's not an arranged marriage thingy. In fact, I often tell her not to think in the direction of marriage yet. I haven't really done anything that could make me feel indebted to her.

I'm only thinking of possibly getting married to her because she seems the understanding and supportive type.

@thorpido, I am not fully sure I'm love. I just feel for her somehow.

Richy4, um, I am not certain I got your drift.

I'll take that over beauty anyday, besides it says more about you. Why do you care about people's opinion ?

How I wish the Lady stumbles on this post...

mariahAngel, those are a lot of questions. They are better pondered on than answered.

pcguru1:


I'll take that over beauty anyday, besides it says more about you. Why do you care about people's opinion ?

I thought I would as well; just don't know clearly why I am having this feeling.

By the way, I don't consider myself the vain type. I don't place too much premium on beauty or "show-offs" - they don't last. This is partly why I am a bit worried why I don't want to be seen with this lady sometimes. Strangely, I didn't feel this way when I visited her.

About people's opinion, I'd say it's a subconscious thing sort of. I can be intentionally defiant to what people think so long I'm convinced that I'm not doing anything wrong.

psylliumhusk1:
How I wish the Lady stumbles on this post...

Mein friend! Aha, don't be wicked now.

But then it doesn't mean a thing if she saw this. There's no personally identifiable information here and it's not like I'm trying to spoil her name.

ThaThinka:
mariahAngel, those are a lot of questions. They are better pondered on than answered.



I thought I would as well; just don't know clearly why I am having this feeling.

By the way, I don't consider myself the vain type. I don't place too much premium on beauty or "show-offs" - they don't last. This is partly why I am a bit worried why I don't want to be seen with this lady sometimes. Strangely, I didn't feel this way when I visited her.

About people's opinion, I'd say it's a subconscious thing sort of. I can be intentionally defiant to what people think so long I'm convinced that I'm not doing anything wrong.



Mein friend! Aha, don't be wicked now.

But then it doesn't mean a thing if she saw this. There's no personally identifiable information here and it's not like I'm trying to spoil her name.

I see, to be sincere I think as long as you have someone that cares for you like that, the rest doesn't matter. we live in a cold world the best we can do is have someone that keeps us happy, the rest is inconsequential. wish you all the best

ThaThinka:
mariahAngel, those are a lot of questions. They are better pondered on than answered.



I thought I would as well; just don't know clearly why I am having this feeling.

By the way, I don't consider myself the vain type. I don't place too much premium on beauty or "show-offs" - they don't last. This is partly why I am a bit worried why I don't want to be seen with this lady sometimes. Strangely, I didn't feel this way when I visited her.

About people's opinion, I'd say it's a subconscious thing sort of. I can be intentionally defiant to what people think so long I'm convinced that I'm not doing anything wrong.



Mein friend! Aha, don't be wicked now.

But then it doesn't mean a thing if she saw this. There's no personally identifiable information here and it's not like I'm trying to spoil her name.

That was the intention.

At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what anyone tells you, what you decide to do is what matters.
Also, this is not just about you keeping her and enjoying her good nature, as long as you can also give her what she needs from you emotionally, otherwise, it won't be fair on her.
Whatever you do, try not to make a totally selfish decision.
Make sure your final decision benefits the both of you.
Do what is right, and not what looks or feels right.

Oga,help her upgrade her fashion sense nah, some ladies just don't know how to or can't afford to.

ThaThinka:
A quick question, especially directed at those knowledgeable or experienced about this sort of matter:

Is it normal to sometimes not want to be seen with a lady you're thinking of possibly getting married to?

I think this is not a good sign, if you ask me. But I haven't been in a situation like this before, so I don't really know what to think.

Is this a feeling I can possibly get over with time after getting married to this person? Please advise.

Probably you are not yet ready for marriage or you are yet to fall in love with her

ThaThinka:
mariahAngel, those are a lot of questions. They are better pondered on than answered.



I thought I would as well; just don't know clearly why I am having this feeling.

By the way, I don't consider myself the vain type. I don't place too much premium on beauty or "show-offs" - they don't last. This is partly why I am a bit worried why I don't want to be seen with this lady sometimes. Strangely, I didn't feel this way when I visited her.

About people's opinion, I'd say it's a subconscious thing sort of. I can be intentionally defiant to what people think so long I'm convinced that I'm not doing anything wrong.



Mein friend! Aha, don't be wicked now.

But then it doesn't mean a thing if she saw this. There's no personally identifiable information here and it's not like I'm trying to spoil her name.

You are not spoiling her name but this is important for her decision making .

Thanks everyone for your input. I appreciate.