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An Aspiring Writer! Any Suggestions by alutaola(m): 5:23pm On Oct 08, 2020
1
All over the world, a new born baby is a source of joy for the family
But here, God help the mother to bear the shame, if it is not a boy
It a man worlds, as the women are bound by the tradition and culture to the men whims
Her husband is dead, it her fault, there is no food in the house, it her fault
All the decisions affecting the family is made by the man
What can she do, she is to be seen and not heard
But is there hope for the girl child in this part of the world, the answer lies with the future generation.

2
Farida felt her dreams and aspirations crashing down, when her father, a respected mallam in the community call her to deliver the dreadful news
Farida he called in his deep baritone voice
Yes baba, half-running, you dare not answer when her dad calls
Prepare yourself my child, you are getting marry next month to alhaji ISA the popular businessman
Baba, I am only 15, was all she could mutter amid her sobs as her father walk out on her,
How dare her father! She was only 15, but truth be told, she saw this coming and has always pray secretly for her dad to be different. She has seen girls of her age, forcefully married off to men far older than then, even in some cases, old enough to be their father.
She look to her mother for support, but alas what can she do, in their culture women are to be seen but not heard. Even her mother was not spared, as the story goes, she was marry off to a close family friend by her father at the age of 12 but was free as the old man die before the union could be consummated.
She felt angry with herself, her people culture and traditions, and even more annoyed at her father, who despite being highly educated with a master degree to cap, still espoused the belief of marrying girls out at such an early age.

3
She was crying throughout the day, until her mind flash back to the conversation she and kemi, her best friend had with focal person from UNESCO. The girls were thrilled when they find out that the white woman, which they all call “Oyibo” due to her skin color was a doctor and her stories of how many times, she had saved accident victims and help deliver babies as a volunteer in the rural areas.
But alas Farida sigh, as she saw her friend kemi coming, smiling as usual at her from a distance
Ina Kwana, Kemi said giggling.
She has been dying to learn the Hausa language but due to the way she pronounce the words with her deep Yoruba accent, it would have elicit laughter from both of them. But Farida seems not to been in the mood to play nor even acknowledge her presence.
Ina Kwana Kemi repeated, tapping her leg
Kemi can I ask you a question
Sure, please go ahead, Kemi now feeling alarmed by her friend behavior
How come your family is different from mine, I mean your dad is a farmer, while your mother is the village headmistress but they seems more caring and civilized than mine.
Farida, Kemi began, the main difference between my family and yours is controlled by their worldview, which in turn is controlled by their cultural background. Am sure you know about culture, she pause, looking at he friend.
But still, must my parents follow norms made thousands of years ago in determining my life, I mean we are in the 21th century and all they care about is marriage.

Look my friend, I have little knowledge about how your culture works but in mine, we are expected to obey our parents and elders. However we are to be independent sometimes and I would never obey any parent that want to force me to do anything against my will, not to talk about marriage.
But what do you suggest I do. Farida face lit up, as if her friend word will do the magic and wipe away her worries.
I would suggest we visit Mrs Hauwa, the old woman down the street.
4
But Farida was confused now, old Hauwa was the first woman to defy her parents wishes to marry as girl to the man chosen for her and for that she was punish for it. At first she struggle to find a husband after her college degree and when she did, she was unable to bear children as she was diagnosed with womb cancer. She was eventually divorced by her husband and shun by members of the community, her case was often cited as an example of what will happen to anyone who dare to disobey their parents.
Being forced to marry is bad, but the very thought of being ostracize from the community frightened her. But as if Kemi was reading her mind, she nudge her not to think about it and off they go.
Old Hauwa was surprised when she saw the two girls coming to her abode. Due to her parish status in the community,. She hardly received visitors except the occasional jeers and insults from her folks, who constantly torment her for inability to bear a child.
Good afternoon Mama, they both chorus and kneeling down as mark of respect.
Afternoon my children and after offering them water, which they refuse, she ask what bring them.
Mama, we are here for your advice, Kemi Said..
Advice keh! About what exactly, a bewildered Hauwa asked
Though Farida was reluctant to take first, a little tap from her friend and she narrated the dilemma which lies in front of her. How her father insist she must get marry now, how her pleas to complete her education first fell on deaf ears and her own resolve never to be a victim of an outdated tradition. By the time she was done, tears were already dripping down her check.
Old Hauwa was quiet throughout, listening patiently to every details as Farida was pouring out her heart out to her. Then something jolt her, she try to recall where she had read about this same situation, then she remember, this was her own life playing it self out in very face again.
She then told the girls about how she refuse her father wish to be to be married off to the district head as the 10th wife, how she was subsequently disowned by her family and largely shun by the community.
I an glad you girls are here today, I have never talk to anyone about this in a long time but know this, a society that refuse to moves along with time is a dead society. Minutes turned to hours but Farida still want to hear more about how she has been able to overcome despite all the opposition all these years.
Old Hauwa smile, just be sure to follow your heart, because the world is changing and you cannot allow yourself to be consumed by marital issues at this young age. If you don’t mind, I would suggest you moved to the city, my son
You have a son? Kemi and Farida shouted, cutting her off
Yes I have son, Mohammed is my adopted son
And if you don’t mind, my son will surely help, that is if you want that. And with that word, she bid the girls goodbye and retires into her house.
5
Throughout the night, Farida mind was consumed with different images of the sorrow she will cause her parents if she decides to run to the city, or her own joy and soon to be truncate dream of becoming a medical doctor if she marry according to the wish of her father.
Even though, she is a firm believer in the Muslim faith and an advocate of respecting the wishes of ones parents. She know she have to disobey her father on this issue.
6
And so the day come, the house begins to fill with people, family members and friends both far and near have gather to celebrate, with crisp agbada matched with fitting headgear and caps. Relatives are already savoring the aroma from the food being prepared by the women at the back of the house
Kai, me I go eat well we’ll today ehn, a man
The little group around him started laughing
The groom family are not left out, the road leading to the house was crammed endless movement of dusty and sweaty bodies of well-wishers who throng the area, not really because they approved of the wedding but more to the fact, that there will be item 7
It was the groom family who started the conversation first, introducing themselves and what their mission is, then the passing of broom to determine the bride price and when this was all done
That was when it Dawn on them, Farida is gone. Her father, mallam Isa was angry, thinking his wife was playing with him about the whereabouts of their daughter.
Then the news fitters out to the people waiting outside, first they talk in hush tones about the development, then it started getting louder, with some shaking their heads as they leave. After several hours of searching for Farida without success, a visibly angry groom Strom out in anger, warning her that he should either produce his daughter or face his wrath.
It was the gossip in the village for several days, with some spitting the very name Farida out, as if mentioning it will infect their own children.
Mallam Isa reputation was badly shaken due to the incident and to add to the Injury, he still did not know the whereabouts of his only daughter. He try to be manly in public, but in private, he felt sorry for pushing his daughter to take such drastic step.
7
It was several months later that what happened that day was reveal. Farida on the pretense of celebrating her last day as a single lady with her friends, had slipped out of the party, into the waiting car arranged by old Hauwa son, Mohammed. And off they zoom to the city, where she was able to finish her secondary school and gained admission to the prestigious Obafemi Awolowo University in ile-ife to study medicine. To cap it all, she was offered a scholarship that will last her throughout her University education.
When Farida eventually returned home to her father, he was very pleased to see her again
Baba, kneeling down, I am sorry for everything
What are you saying Farida? A visibly happy mallam Ibrahim shouted upon hearing of her academic success.
I said am sorry for any pain I may have caused you through my actions
Sorry for what exactly, for planning to be a doctor. I should be the one saying sorry for trying to marrying you off against your will, hope you forgive me
Yes I have, hugging him. But baba you know I have a strong will right.
Yes I know my daughter and I am you.
They both laugh, watching as the goods she brought from the city were being off-loaded into the backyard.

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