You want to be in a committed and Serious Relationship, but it never works out. People you meet are too needy, or too distant. Or, perhaps they are immature, clueless, too old, too young… the list goes on.

Or maybe, just maybe, the problem isn’t out there, but rather inside of you. If you haven’t committed to a relationship, it might be time to look at yourself.

Despite your conscious desire to be in a serious relationship, you might be doing things that undermine your efforts to find that special someone.

Consider how much you relate to the following five signs that you might be keeping serious relationship s at a distance.



You don’t really know what you want in a relationship. 

You say that you want a committed relationship, but what does that mean to you?

What would a committed relationship look like?

And do you really want that life?

Without a clear idea of what you want and your fears or concerns, you are at the mercy of whatever thought or feeling happens to hit you at any given moment.

The result can be lots of confusion, and sending mixed signals – to yourself and your partner.



You can’t imagine a lifetime of being happy with your current partner.

This may show that you are having trouble committing to your current relationship, not necessarily that you have a more general commitment issue.

In this case, it is essential that you reflect honestly on whether your partner embodies enough of the qualities you are looking for.

To gain some insight, ask yourself whether you and your partner share values, religious beliefs, and financial priorities.

Even if you are in love, your hesitancy to commit might indicate that there are some aspects of your partner that make you question

whether you can create a happy future together.

Or, if you are not in love with your perfectly good partner, then that by itself might explain your trouble committing.



You consistently choose other activities over spending time with a partner.

Do you lose interest in partners after the initial excitement of the relationships fade?

If you consistently tend to become more lax in reaching out to your partner or making an effort to get together,

then you are not doing what’s necessary to nurture a strong relationship.

And if you stop following through with promises, then you are even more actively undermining your relationships.

Even if you think you want a relationship, your behavior says otherwise.



You want to be happy and have fun.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to enjoy yourself, but “keeping it light” will not lead to emotional closeness.

You simply cannot nurture a healthy committed relationship while avoiding the deeply personal.

So, if you avoid sharing personal information, learning about your partner’s thoughts and feelings, or talking about your connections,

then you are looking to enjoy a more casual relationship – despite what you might be telling yourself.



It’s all (or mostly) about the sex.

If you are passionate about sexual intimacy, but are not so interested in emotional intimacy, then you are again working to develop a more casual relationship.



Do you recognize that some of these signs describe you?

Then it’s time to think again about what you really want in your life and what is motivating you now.

Despite keeping your distance, you might truly want to be in a committed relationship.

For instance, you may have not met the right person, may simply need more time dating, or may fear closeness.

By gaining clarity about such issues, you can work toward overcoming those hurdles and eventually nurturing the relationship that you want.

Source: https://rayoonline.com/5-signs-youre-not-ready-for-a-serious-relationship/

Leave all dese things and make money for ur family.

This nairaland tire me aswear,,,,all the codes dat you guys said didn't work for me at all,,,,,

Haa,,,god why me,,,,,,,


The last girl slap me,,,,,,,


The former one scam me,,,,,,,


The former former one tempered with my emotions,,,,

And you still bring another code,, I'm not following this code op,,,,,,,

It doesn't apply to all.

I see many comments like this, someone talks about relationships and the next thing:

Go and make money

Like you will carry money to the grave

chinchonglee:
Leave all dese things and make money for ur family.

nwaezeemmanuel:
I see many comments like this, someone talks about relationships and the next thing:

Go and make money

Like you will carry money to the grave

Like you will carry relationship to the grave.

Bro! any relationship that does not happen naturally (without reading all dose trashy things) is not a relationship, its rubbish!

My point is everything is still vanity.

chinchonglee:

Like you will carry relationship to the grave.

Bro! any relationship that does not happen naturally (without reading all dose trashy things) is not a relationship, its rubbish!

nwaezeemmanuel:
My point is everything is still vanity.

See you!
At this age u think money is still vanity

Lemme ask you
Why is Oyedepo living in wealth?
Why is Oyakhilome living in wealth?
Why is Adeboye living in wealth?
Why are all of living in wealth?

Be deceiving ursef! Money is the only way forward!

Calm down! I am not condoning poverty.

The word vanity is not as heavy as you think.

As a Christian, i know money like many earthly things are tied to this world alone and not beyond.

Yet, i still want to make money - to make my time here worthwhile (this does not mean it is not vanity)

chinchonglee:

See you!
At this age u think money is still vanity

Lemme ask you
Why is Oyedepo living in wealth?
Why is Oyakhilome living in wealth?
Why is Adeboye living in wealth?
Why are all of living in wealth?

Be deceiving ursef! Money is the only way forward!

nwaezeemmanuel:
Calm down! I am not condoning poverty.

The word vanity is not as heavy as you think.

As a Christian, i know money like many earthly things are tied to this world alone and not beyond.

Yet, i still want to make money - to make my time here worthwhile (this does not mean it is not vanity)

African Religion jst contradicts itself.
First u said money is vanity next u said it doesn't mean u wont chase money.

Make pastors dey deceive una u hear. Meanwhile they swim in money.

I take it that you don't read the bible and don't understand what the word vanity means in the Christian setting.

And i didn't use the word 'chase' - that sounds too greedy.

chinchonglee:

African Religion jst contradicts itself.
First u said money is vanity next u said it doesn't mean u wont chase money.

Make pastors dey deceive una u hear. Meanwhile they swim in money.

nwaezeemmanuel:
I take it that you don't read the bible and don't understand what the word vanity means in the Christian setting.

And i didn't use the word 'chase' - that sounds too greedy.

I dnt read fictions bro!
So what is vanity?

Lol, you think the bible is fiction

Now i know the problem, well there is no point arguing further.

chinchonglee:

I dnt read fictions bro!
So what is vanity?

TBH I'm taking that commitment stuff with a pinch of salt

nwaezeemmanuel:
Lol, you think the bible is fiction

Now i know the problem, well there is no point arguing further.

Stop shying away frm the real question and answer it..
I stopped believing the bible cos anytime i ask a man of God a simple question, their reply is always "DON'T QUESTION GOD" .
if i dnt understand something, am i not supposed to ask questions

I am not shying away from anything, i avoid arguments when the person i am arguing with has a different spiritual belief.

You probably did not meet the right pastors.

I ask many questions about the bible, and get answers from the pastors i trust and even among youths like myself that understand it very well.

If this is your reason for not believing the bible, you have no excuse - pray for interpretation whenever you choose to open it again, and trust God to help you or lead you to those that will have answers

chinchonglee:

Stop ahying away frm the real question and answer it..
I stopped believing the bible cos anytime i ask a man of God a simple question, their reply is always "DON'T QUESTION GOD" .
if i dnt understand something, am i not supposed to ask questions

nwaezeemmanuel:
I am not shying away from anything, i avoid arguments when the person i am arguing with has a different spiritual belief.

You probably did not meet the right pastors.

I ask many questions about the bible, and get answers from the pastors i trust and even among youths like myself that understand it very well.

If this is your reason for not believing the bible, you have no excuse - pray for interpretation whenever you choose to open it again, and trust God to help you or lead you to those that will have answers

Dnt let me start !
I dnt like talking anything abt religion with Africans because we knw nothing abt it.

No wahala, you're not being forced to reply

Seems like you know so much already, take care

chinchonglee:

Dnt let me start !
I dnt like talking anything abt religion with Africans because we knw nothing abt it.

nwaezeemmanuel:
No wahala, you're not being forced to reply

Seems like you know so much already, take care

I dnt knw too much, i read too much!

chinchonglee:
Leave all these things and make money for ur family.

life isn't all about money my guy, there's this peace that you need later that money may not give you, you may not see it now, it all depends on the environment you were bred which helps to affect the mindset in a way or more.

Uniquekriss:
life isn't all about money my guy, there's this peace that you need later that money may not give you, you may not see it now, it all depends on the environment you were bred which helps to affect the mindset in a way or more.

And dere is peace peace itself cannot give you that only money can give you

chinchonglee:

And dere is peace peace itself cannot give you that only money can give you

ok

Money gives happiness, it takes more to have peace.

chinchonglee:

And dere is peace peace itself cannot give you that only money can give you

Uniquekriss:
ok

Good

nwaezeemmanuel:
Money gives happiness, it takes more to have peace.

Money gives everything.
Hapiness, peace, ego, everything!

you obviously have not made enough money to know this!

chinchonglee:

Money gives everything.
Hapiness, peace, ego, everything!

nwaezeemmanuel:
you obviously have not made enough money to know this!

I dnt need to make too much money to knw that!
When i wasn't making money i was bothered within me, no peace of mind at all. When I started making "small" money, i knew the peace of mind that came with it.

Either you have not experienced life well enough or you just don't know what you're saying.

Peace of mind is not conditional, if you had to wait to have money to be at peace - you do not really have peace and will be bothered again if you don't make any money.

I admire that you're making cash for yourself, but dump that mindset that it will give you everything - there's more to life than money

Again, i am not condoning poverty - money is very very important

chinchonglee:

I dnt need to make too much money to knw that!
When i wasn't making money i was bothered within me, no peace of mind at all. When I started making "small" money, i knew the peace of mind that came with it.

nwaezeemmanuel:
Either you have not experienced life well enough or you just don't know what you're saying.

Peace of mind is not conditional, if you had to wait to have money to be at peace - you do not really have peace and will be bothered again if you don't make any money.

I admire that you're making cash for yourself, but dump that mindset that it will give you everything - there's more to life than money

Again, i am not condoning poverty - money is very very important

It is giving me every peace of mind i need now!
Poverty is the only thing that takes my peace and joy away.
My first love dropped me wen I didn't av a dime(nt that she dumped me but she was cheating) so i jst had to let go.
Anything that will cost me my joy that isn't related to money, I throw that thing out of my life.
I have seen things bro, things that is worth taking my peace and joy but i jst ignore dem and face money making.

Like that you're open, but this seems like you're using money-making as some form of escapism.

I'm sure right now you feel all you need and should prioritise is money - but don't believe that voice.

Sometimes, that is fear talking - try to be happy unconditionally regardless of money (that is where peace and joy sets in)

Times will come when a lack of money will take away the peace you thought you had.

Wish you the best, will let it rest for now

chinchonglee:

It is giving me every peace of mind i need now!
Poverty is the only thing that takes my peace and joy away.
My first love dropped me wen I didn't av a dime(nt that she dumped me but she was cheating) so i jst had to let go.
Anything that will cost me my joy that isn't related to money, I throw that thing out of my life.
I have seen things bro, things that is worth taking my peace and joy but i jst ignore dem and face money making.

nwaezeemmanuel:
Like that you're open, but this seems like you're using money-making as some form of escapism.

I'm sure right now you feel all you need and should prioritise is money - but don't believe that voice.

Sometimes, that is fear talking - try to be happy unconditionally regardless of money (that is where peace and joy sets in)

Times will come when a lack of money will take away the peace you thought you had.

Wish you the best, will let it rest for now

My families are all okay bro. I dnt av any cause to lose my peace of mind. The only thing taking my peace of mind away is how to buy my own personal shop and how to ascertain the real income for my egg business cos i feel the boy managing the business is hiding the exact amount from me(I go to work so I hardly have time for my business)

Mind you, everybody has where his/her priority lies. Mine is money and money alone and am so greedy when it comes to making money

This is great!

As for the other things you have to sort out, don't let it affect your peace.

Tackle them knowing that all is well, and i hope you get good outcomes.

chinchonglee:

My families are all okay bro. I dnt av any cause to lose my peace of mind. The only thing taking my peace of mind away is how to buy my own personal shop and how to ascertain the real income for my egg business cos i feel the boy managing the business is hiding the exact amount from me(I go to work so I hardly have time for my business)