Hello all,

Have you ever been in a "One chance" situation? I have a very involving story here:

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“Conductor, fun mi ni change mi! Twenty Naira mi da?! Abole ni e ni??”

Some buccal jet spray squirted on my neck as the fat Yoruba woman screamed at the top of her voice, demanding the balance of her fare from belligerent bus conductor, accusing him of dishonest intentions.

I adjusted to a better position since there was plenty of room and I promptly wiped off the offending spray. The bus was quite empty because it was a public holiday evening, and apart from myself, there were only four other passengers, a quiet fellow sitting in front and the three market women we had picked up after I joined.

I stole a furtive look at the angry woman and my unsure eyes immediately began to take a tour of the vehicle. It was evening so I couldn’t see much, but this bus was in surprisingly good condition compared to the other ten-turned-fourteen seater commercial buses that plied Lagos metropolis; all the seats were cushioned and there were no holes in the floor to give me a good view of the tarred road. I had joined it on the expressway like the other woman because I was too much in a hurry to join the queue for the government-owned, mass transit buses.

“Ole! Fun mi ni change mi oh! Mo ti fe bole oh!”

I tried to ignore the woman but I was intensely irritated for even at the window edge of the seat, I could not escape the spray. The conductor was luckier though, his medium-length dreadlocks and upright collar got the worst of it so he probably didn’t any get skin contact. This time I was expecting some form of backlash because the woman had directly called him a thief but he still did not reply; his face was a blank sheet.

Although tirades like hers and name-callings too, were a consistent part of the commuting culture in this part of the world, the conductor, sometimes assisted by the driver, usually had a few retorts of his own. Such repartees usually resulted in a form of entertaining comedy where the passengers took on their two-man crew and the crew, in turn, would verbally assault the passengers with poverty punctuated one-liners and so so. Most of these exchanges usually resulted in even more hilarious criticisms of the government and everybody went home happy but the rest resulted in very bitter exchanges that often went physical. I was surprised at the quiescence of the well muscled thug; they usually were the more aggressive ones. His type usually would reply with a well aimed, highly disrespectful insult and then all the other market women would join in.

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The full story is on my blog >> Check out my signature.

But I'd like to hear other people's experiences in such a situation. CARE TO SHARE?