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Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion - Romance - Nairaland

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Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by chissy4rea(f): 4:13pm On Mar 18, 2011
i need your advice im going through the worst emotional trauma. im a 21 year old igbo who dated an igbo guy of 28 years. it was a long distance relationship for two years he lives and works in nigeria while im in my final year of law in sa. i got back with him in nigeria last year after we broke up for six months. he convinced me that things would get better between us. so we got back together and things were going so well . he will always call me his fiance and all that. we were so much inlove, atleast thats what i thought. however after our last night in enugu he never called me again not even to wish me a safe journey back. so in jan i called him and told him that i could no longer handle his suddden change in attitude. TILL A MONTH AND A HALF LATER I FIND OUT FROM MY FAMILY WHO IS CLOSE FAMILY FRIENDS WITH HIS THAT HE IS ENGAGED TO MARRY THIS YEAR. i called him he even admitted it and said he only started dating her after our break up last month. he showed no remorse and told me he did not do anything wrong. i cant stop crying from this betrayal. i remember how at times he used to pressure me to sleep with him as his future wife which i never did so could this mean i was only a girl he wanted for sexual pleasure for two years.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by Nobody: 5:01pm On Mar 18, 2011
Well, thank goodness you didnt sleep with him. Makes the whole thing easier, imo. I`d say just let him go and move on. God will provide your own man.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by Omolola1(f): 5:06pm On Mar 18, 2011
dat's so sad. . .

Sorry about it, its good riddance
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by 25omega(m): 5:07pm On Mar 18, 2011
take heart dear focus on your lawyer situation get it done and be successful in life check back on him in 5 years you will surly see that this heart break was the best thing that ever happened to you.
let a looser be a looser don't get you good future mixed with his. Time will surly mend your heart
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by jboy6: 5:17pm On Mar 18, 2011
Nice profile ,Simply amazing and unique, I am so Interested in getting to know you because you are beautiful and unique and i guess having a nice chat with you won't be a crime or something, maybe we could exchange more pics and Calls so we can realize what we want from each other, mind dropping me a note, There is email,jidewilliams25@yahoo.com, looking forward to read from you Cheers, Jide williams.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by 190: 5:19pm On Mar 18, 2011
tpiah!:

Well, thank goodness you didnt sleep with him. Makes the whole thing easier, imo. I`d say just let him go and move on. God will provide your own man.
grin grin grin

Nice one! embarassed
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by Jackieugo(f): 5:28pm On Mar 18, 2011
Cheer up gal. Your heart will heal. He isn't worth stressing over. Focus on your life and the positive things. You're still young. You will meet a better guy grin.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by Areaboy2(m): 5:28pm On Mar 18, 2011
chissy4rea:

i need your advice im going through the worst emotional trauma. im a 21 year old igbo who dated an igbo guy of 28 years. it was a long distance relationship for two years he lives and works in nigeria while im in my final year of law in sa. i got back with him in nigeria last year after we broke up for six months. he convinced me that things would get better between us. so we got back together and things were going so well . he will always call me his fiance and all that. we were so much inlove, atleast thats what i thought. however after our last night in enugu he never called me again not even to wish me a safe journey back. so in jan i called him and told him that i could no longer handle his suddden change in attitude. TILL A MONTH AND A HALF LATER I FIND OUT FROM MY FAMILY WHO IS CLOSE FAMILY FRIENDS WITH HIS THAT HE IS ENGAGED TO MARRY THIS YEAR. i called him he even admitted it and said he only started dating her after our break up last month. he showed no remorse and told me he did not do anything wrong. i cant stop crying from this betrayal. i remember how at times he used to pressure me to sleep with him as his future wife which i never did so could this mean i was only a girl he wanted for sexual pleasure for two years.

I dont get it, so did you sleep with him or not?  undecided


some old school guys that really wana marry will never complete the process until they test run. whether thats a good thing or bad thing is open to debate. but the truth remains he has moved on and you should too


My two cents
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by chissy4rea(f): 12:25am On Mar 19, 2011
no i did not i told that i wanted to wait till marriage he said i was being unrealistic and selfish.s its difficult to accept the loss. i loved him so much i went into that relationship with good intentions. i told my parents about him my mother liked him cuz he comes from well respected family and strong christian home. i did not know he could turn out to be this wicked.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by chic2pimp(m): 2:04am On Mar 19, 2011
Area_boy:

I dont get it, so did you sleep with him or not? undecided


some old school guys that really wana marry will never complete the process until they test run. whether thats a good thing or bad thing is open to debate. but the truth remains he has moved on and you should too


My two cents
I am definitely one of those Guys you call "Old School". Sexual Incompatibility as a ground for divorce is on the constant rise so i'll rather "Test Drive" my prospective life partner right now than wait until 1 or 2 years down the line and suddenly realise we were not compatible in the first place.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by obowunmi(m): 2:40am On Mar 19, 2011
@ OP, kaaaaii, people are wicked oo. Please take heart and try to move on. The good Lord is with you.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by chissy4rea(f): 7:34am On Mar 19, 2011
well i will never displease myself to please others. i will try my best to forgive and forget. and it does not mean if a girl is still a virgin before marriage she will not be able to perform it does not always work like that. I know somewhere out there ill meet soomeone who will love and respect me and not put sex as basis of which our relationships will lie. he used to tell me that we should make love b4 marriage and enjoy cuz after marriage there will not be time to be adventurous cuz of family stuff. how sick is that
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by chissy4rea(f): 7:38am On Mar 19, 2011
@ j boy how did u see my pics
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by InkedNerd(f): 7:51am On Mar 19, 2011
chissy4rea:

well i will never displease myself to please others. i will try my best to forgive and forget. and it does not mean if a girl is still a virgin before marriage she will not be able to perform it does not always work like that. I  know somewhere out there ill meet soomeone who will love and respect me and not put sex as basis of which our relationships will lie. he used to tell me that we should make love b4 marriage and enjoy cuz after marriage there will not be time to be adventurous cuz of family stuff. how sick is that

Good for you, stick to your guns. I know how you feel right now [kind of]. My situation is a little different from yours but either way I still ended up heart broken. Trust me, you will find someone who loves and respect your decision not to engage in sex before marriage. Yes, it is good to forgive but you must NEVER forget--its situations like this that give you a different perspective on things and allow you to develop yourself as an individual [in a positive manner]. Keep your spirits high and enjoy your life to the fullest. Next time the yeye man sees you and how wonderful and mature you are as woman he will know and realize what a fool he was to have let you go. With time, you heart will heal.

Just wondering, if he is engaged to marry this girl this year and you found out that he started dating her a month after you broke up, does that mean he was with her while you two were together?
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by Nobody: 7:56am On Mar 19, 2011
What's meant to be is meant to be.Then its not meant to be on ur case,move on stronger with no regrets.true story
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by chissy4rea(f): 10:38am On Mar 19, 2011
well thats what it means she must have been with him all that time we were together in nigeria. u cannot start dating a woman for a month and already decide to propose not in nigeria it does not work like that. the girl is his sisters best friend she is close to his family so he has known her. she recently came back from london about a year ago after completing her masters from what my family told me. he has evn made the engagement it official on face book but when we were together he never put up a relationship status, last december i noticed he was not confortable with us going to common places like crunchies ect in enugu. i dont know y i was so blind. I sent him a message saying ill forgive him and wished him well in the future and his marriage. no thank u or same to u came out from his mouth. i want to tell my aunt what happened cuz she is the best friend to his mother but i guess it wont change a thing. the fact that he feels he did nothing wrong and shows no remorse its what hurts the most.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by InkedNerd(f): 6:20am On Mar 20, 2011
chissy4rea:

well thats what it means she must have been with him all that time we were together in nigeria. u cannot start dating a woman for a month and already decide to propose not in nigeria it does not work like that. the girl is his sisters best friend she is close to his family so he has known her. she recently came back from london about a year ago after completing her masters from what my family told me. he has evn made the engagement it official on face book but when we were together he never put up a relationship status, last december i noticed he was not confortable with us going to common places like crunchies ect in enugu. i dont know y i was so blind. I sent him a message saying ill forgive him and wished him well in the future and his  marriage. no thank u or same to u came out from his mouth. i want to tell my aunt what happened cuz she is the best friend to his mother but i guess it wont change a thing. the fact that he feels he did nothing wrong and shows no remorse its what hurts the most.

Seems more like he did you favor now that you see what kind of man he is. Don't let someone like that get you down. If he treated you like that while you guys were dating, imagine what he would have done if you two had been married. If your that insignificant to him then he should be the same to you. It'll take time but eventually you'll be fine.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by chissy4rea(f): 9:52am On Mar 20, 2011
thank u so much i feel much better. funny enough my church which consists of mostly the youth the message today was finding the right spouse. i realised i was dating a man who was walking me straight to hell. a heartless human being. i even pity the fiancee. Now i have another chance to find someone whom god has destined for me. iv also realised that one should never judge someone by their family background even if that person comes from a good catholic christian home.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by InkedNerd(f): 8:55pm On Mar 20, 2011
chissy4rea:

thank u so much i feel much better. funny enough my church which consists of mostly the youth the message today was finding the right spouse. i realised i was dating a man who was walking me straight to hell. a heartless human being. i even pity the fiancee. Now i have another chance to find someone whom god has destined for me. iv also realised that one should never judge someone by their family background even if that person comes from a good catholic christian home.

I'm glad you feel better. Always keep in mind, you're worth so much more wink.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by alagha: 8:41am On Mar 21, 2011
thank god you have known it all, please forgive him & be forgiven by God carry on babe.cheers.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by chissy4rea(f): 8:52am On Mar 21, 2011
I WILL. AS HARD AS IT IS. I CAN NEVER FORGET HIM. MY YOUNGER BROTHER SHARES THE SAME NAME AS HIM SO HE WILL ALWAYS BE A SAD MEMORY. I JUST WANT TO KNOW Y IS IT THAT A MAN WHO CLAIMED TO LOVE FOR THREE YEARS CAN ALL OF SUDDEN JUST FORGET U AND THE GOOD TIMES U SHARED AND MOVE ON SO QUICKLY TO AN EVEN MORE SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP JUST LIKE THAT AND FEEL NO ELEMENT OF GUILT OR REMORSE WHATSOEVER
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by InkedNerd(f): 8:58am On Mar 21, 2011
chissy4rea:

I WILL. AS HARD AS IT IS. I CAN NEVER FORGET HIM. MY YOUNGER BROTHER SHARES THE SAME NAME AS HIM SO HE WILL ALWAYS BE A SAD MEMORY. I JUST WANT TO KNOW Y IS IT THAT A MAN WHO CLAIMED TO LOVE FOR THREE YEARS CAN ALL OF SUDDEN JUST FORGET U AND THE GOOD TIMES U SHARED AND MOVE ON SO QUICKLY TO AN EVEN MORE SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP JUST LIKE THAT AND FEEL NO ELEMENT OF GUILT OR REMORSE WHATSOEVER

Most likely he had alternative motives the entire time undecided.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by chissy4rea(f): 9:07am On Mar 21, 2011
i cant believe i almost gave in. as they say if a relationship is not of god it will never last. he used to try and convince me that sex b4 marriage is good so that both of u will have time to enjoy and explore each other cuz apparently after marriage they will be no time to enjoy and be free cuz of children and family responsibilities and thhat a wife who is sso much into church is boring
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by InkedNerd(f): 9:24am On Mar 21, 2011
chissy4rea:

i cant believe i almost gave in. as they say if a relationship is not of god it will never last. he used to try and convince me that sex b4 marriage is good so that  both of u will have time to enjoy and explore each other  cuz apparently after marriage they will be no time to enjoy and be free cuz of children and family responsibilities and thhat a wife who is sso much into church is boring

There's nothing wrong with exploring one another sexually but there is something wrong with trying to persuade someone to go against their personal, religious, and sexual beliefs.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by 190: 9:25am On Mar 21, 2011
^^ inkerd day never dark for where you dey stay there dey talk about sex angry angry
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by InkedNerd(f): 9:26am On Mar 21, 2011
190:

^^ inkerd day never dark for where you dey

Shaarap. I slept in the daytime so I'm not tired or sleepy now.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by 190: 9:27am On Mar 21, 2011
^^ wen did you sleep you that went to school angry angry
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by InkedNerd(f): 9:35am On Mar 21, 2011
190:

^^ wen did you sleep you that went to school  angry angry

Who said I went to school yeye boy? I don't have class in Sundays tongue
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by Nobody: 10:53am On Mar 21, 2011
^^ I so much like and respect your views, you are so cool-headed and intelligent ,not just on this issue, I take time to reacd your posts anywhere!

@topic, You will get over it soon i can assure you , he doesnt deserve you girl!
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by 190: 10:54am On Mar 21, 2011
Inked_Nerd:


Who said I went to school yeye boy? I don't have class in Sundays tongue


thats true oooh undecided
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by InkedNerd(f): 10:56am On Mar 21, 2011
bhusayor:

^^ I so much like and respect your views, you are so cool-headed and intelligent ,not just on this issue, I take time to reacd your posts anywhere!

@topic, You will get over it soon i can assure you , he doesnt deserve you girl!

Thank you smiley.
Re: Broken Hearted. Nigerian Men Give Your Opinion by chissy4rea(f): 12:05pm On Mar 21, 2011
no i shoudl be the one to thank u all for your advice. i just discovered this chat forum and knew that i would get help seeing as u all know how some nigerian men behave. its highly appreciated. have a wonderful afternoon and God bless

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