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Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? - Family - Nairaland

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Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Realashbobby(f): 12:29pm On Nov 26, 2020
Dear Nairalander,

How do you cope with your life after your spouse failed you and took the whole matter to the worse level by seeking for divorce?

I woke up everyday of my life in the past nine months thinking about this man. I heard he has moved on in Lagos, while I am still here bothering myself about him. This is the only man I have ever known in my life. He just left without looking back not even to check on his son.
What can I do to forget him totally?

I am down emotionally and it's affecting me.

Kindly advise.
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Unclekayfarms: 12:33pm On Nov 26, 2020
Something must have led to the divorce now share it
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Unclekayfarms: 12:34pm On Nov 26, 2020
Realashbobby:
Dear Nairalander,

How do you cope with your life after your spouse failed you and took the whole matter to the worse level by seeking for divorce?

I woke up everyday of my life in the past nine months thinking about this man. I heard he has moved on in Lagos, while I am still here bothering myself about him. This is the only man I have ever known in my life. He just left without looking back not even to check on his son.
What can I do to forget him totally?

I am down emotionally and it's affecting me.

Kindly advise.
You're insincere

2 Likes

Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Nisland(m): 12:35pm On Nov 26, 2020
Haaaaa you remember me again.my wife dirvoice me 9 years ago.and am still single till now but this year am just getting back to myself and for another spouse.its not easy my brother I face so many chanlleng.
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Mandela27: 12:36pm On Nov 26, 2020
Accept reality and channel ur energy to ur son.

1 Like

Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by mariahAngel: 12:42pm On Nov 26, 2020
Realashbobby:
Dear Nairalander,

How do you cope with your life after your spouse failed you and took the whole matter to the worse level by seeking for divorce?

I woke up everyday of my life in the past nine months thinking about this man. I heard he has moved on in Lagos, while I am still here bothering myself about him. This is the only man I have ever known in my life. He just left without looking back not even to check on his son.
What can I do to forget him totally?

I am down emotionally and it's affecting me.

Kindly advise.

What went wrong that could not be fixed?
People don't just leave their loved (or once loved) ones and never look back. Something serious must've happened...
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by internationalman(m): 12:51pm On Nov 26, 2020
You just miss his financial assistance not him per se

You don't miss his dïck because there are many willing dïck if you are pen for it. But only few are ready to give you money

1. You will miss him less or won't miss him at all if there's a man giving you enough money even without sex

2. You will miss him more if there's a man giving you enough sex but without money like your ex

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Realashbobby(f): 12:52pm On Nov 26, 2020
Unclekayfarms:

You're insincere

I don't like writing Epistles. It seems you are interested in the whole story. I will share the whole story soon.
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by IamRichards: 12:54pm On Nov 26, 2020
Realashbobby:


I don't like writing Epistles. It seems you are interested in the whole story. I will share the whole story soon.
I can't wait.

1 Like

Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by mariahAngel: 12:54pm On Nov 26, 2020
internationalman:
You just miss his financial assistance not him per se

Would you still miss him that much if he was sending you let's say 300k every month...

This comment is not fair.

3 Likes

Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Charleys: 12:56pm On Nov 26, 2020
Realashbobby:


I don't like writing Epistles. It seems you are interested in the whole story. I will share the whole story soon.

We can't give advise if we don't know what happened. Maybe it was your fault
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by internationalman(m): 1:01pm On Nov 26, 2020
mariahAngel:


This comment is not fair.

Yeah, truth is not always fair

1 Like

Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by BigDawsNet: 1:11pm On Nov 26, 2020
Divorce everyday dammit

You need to concentrate on your self and your child....

God will be with you
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Realashbobby(f): 1:23pm On Nov 26, 2020
internationalman:
You just miss his financial assistance not him per se

You don't miss his dïck because there are many willing dïck if you are pen for it. But only few are ready to give you money

1. You will miss him less or won't miss him at all if there's a man giving you enough money even without sex

2. You will miss him more if there's a man giving you enough sex but without money like your ex

Financially, I am not missing him the highest I get from him was 25k monthly after we had a son last year. If that is what your dirty mind is thinking.

I am not missing him sexually, it's just that I can't imagine myself getting down with another man.
It's somehow to me. I will rather remain celibate.

2 Likes

Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Chiquitq(f): 1:29pm On Nov 26, 2020
I've been there. Not divorced but separated. It's been over 6yrs. It was easy despite that the relationship was extremely toxic. I mourned for the wasted time and abuse tolerated. I was bitter about financial and material things lost in the course of the union. I was distraught by the embarrassments and insults metted out to my family and friends. I relocated to a new city and started totally afresh with my children. Got a job and started a business.
The man that I was married to was the evil of the earth and a fraudster and womanizer. To top it all, he was grossly manipulative. Being extremely manipulative made it hard for me to leave early or even set boundaries thoroughly.

When you say this your husband left suddenly, I believe you totally. He might be a narcissistic. sociopath. That's what he did to all the women he dated during our marriage. Many did not know he was married. He would promise them heaven, use them and disappear suddenly from their lives. Read more about narcissists.

Don't be in a hurry to remarry and if you date again, don't be in a hurry to procreate. I chose celibacy as a means to be totally free and live my best life. I have concluded that all relationships are challenging judging by other people's experiences and mine. On few occasions, one may be lucky but I'm too lazy to and lack motivation to try again. That works for me but it might not work for you.
Find a hobby and most importantly, improve on your finances and network. You would be fine in the end. Many nights, you would have flashbacks of events and be bitter but time would do justice. Try to have as little contact with him as possible. If he wants to speak to his son, doesn't have to be through your phone. Don't allow him to Hoover his way back into your life because he would just hurt you a second time. Stop listening to gist about him. It would help you to move on.

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Karleb(m): 2:10pm On Nov 26, 2020
It's still funny how these women throw the word "celibacy" around.
Abi they don't know the meaning ni?
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Kondomatic(m): 3:56pm On Nov 26, 2020
Realashbobby:
Dear Nairalander,

How do you cope with your life after your spouse failed you and took the whole matter to the worse level by seeking for divorce?
.
I don't understand how your spouse can fail you and still be the one to seek for a divorce.






Unless you meant to say that after all the begging after you failed him he still filed for divorce



I am lost.
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by crackhaus: 4:33pm On Nov 26, 2020
Kondomatic:
I don't understand how your spouse can fail you and still be the one to seek for a divorce.

Unless you meant to say that after all the begging after you failed him he still filed for divorce

I am lost.
What she's trying to say in between all those sentences is that NOTHING was her fault.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by ahnie(f): 4:44pm On Nov 26, 2020
crackhaus:

What she's trying to say in between all those sentences is that NOTHING was her fault.
I know say I must find you here .

1 Like

Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by crackhaus: 4:50pm On Nov 26, 2020
ahnie:

I know say I must find you here .
As a divorce specialist abi... grin
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by ahnie(f): 4:55pm On Nov 26, 2020
crackhaus:
As a divorce specialist abi... grin
wahala for whu no fear yu
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by crackhaus: 5:02pm On Nov 26, 2020
ahnie:

wahala for whu no fear yu
LOL... Na only bad people suppose dey fear me nau, because wer their own stop na der my own take start.

1 Like

Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by RightToReject(m): 5:46pm On Nov 26, 2020
From the connotation of your OP, you seem like a badass or player who has been served an overdose of her medicine by a good but no-nonsense man - everyone else except them is always the problem when served the overdose of their medicine. You've my sympathy, however, if you're an ethically sound woman who wasn't discerning enough and got used by a badass or player.

One way to gradually get out of your predicament and also to avoid experiencing the same from any other person, be it from a man or woman in an interpersonal relationship or business relationship, is taking to conscientiousness.

Apply this in thoughts and actions towards him. If he wasn't good to you while the affair lasted and if he left unprovoked by you, you'd gradually regain your sanity in a no distant time.
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Chummynoni(m): 5:53pm On Nov 26, 2020
Be strong sister. You will definitely be fine. Just occupy yourself with productive activities,and with time, you will be fine.
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Nobody: 5:56pm On Nov 26, 2020
You would get over him, just give it time.
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Womanizer(m): 8:02pm On Nov 26, 2020
Realashbobby:
Dear Nairalander,

How do you cope with your life after your spouse failed you and took the whole matter to the worse level by seeking for divorce?

I woke up everyday of my life in the past nine months thinking about this man. I heard he has moved on in Lagos, while I am still here bothering myself about him. This is the only man I have ever known in my life. He just left without looking back not even to check on his son.
What can I do to forget him totally?

I am down emotionally and it's affecting me.

Kindly advise.

I'm not going to ask who was at fault cos I know you will blame him...

Just do your best to move on with you life

1 Like

Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by tobechi20(m): 10:36pm On Nov 26, 2020
New social support
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by FanOfMyself: 3:23am On Nov 27, 2020
mariahAngel:


What went wrong that could not be fixed?
People don't just leave their loved (or once loved) ones and never look back. Something serious must've happened...
She called police for her brother in-law because her husband wants her to relocate to Lagos with her by force. The husband came with his brother and were packing her things to go to Lagos ( which is bad), then she called police on the husband's brother and got him locked up till the husband (now defunct) returned her properties ( though not all). So the husband left her and now he's divorcing her.
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by FanOfMyself: 3:27am On Nov 27, 2020
Chiquitq:
I've been there. Not divorced but separated. It's been over 6yrs. It was easy despite that the relationship was extremely toxic. I mourned for the wasted time and abuse tolerated. I was bitter about financial and material things lost in the course of the union. I was distraught by the embarrassments and insults metted out to my family and friends. I relocated to a new city and started totally afresh with my children. Got a job and started a business.
The man that I was married to was the evil of the earth and a fraudster and womanizer. To top it all, he was grossly manipulative. Being extremely manipulative made it hard for me to leave early or even set boundaries thoroughly.

When you say this your husband left suddenly, I believe you totally. He might be a narcissistic. sociopath. That's what he did to all the women he dated during our marriage. Many did not know he was married. He would promise them heaven, use them and disappear suddenly from their lives. Read more about narcissists.

Don't be in a hurry to remarry and if you date again, don't be in a hurry to procreate. I chose celibacy as a means to be totally free and live my best life. I have concluded that all relationships are challenging judging by other people's experiences and mine. On few occasions, one may be lucky but I'm too lazy to and lack motivation to try again. That works for me but it might not work for you.
Find a hobby and most importantly, improve on your finances and network. You would be fine in the end. Many nights, you would have flashbacks of events and be bitter but time would do justice. Try to have as little contact with him as possible. If he wants to speak to his son, doesn't have to be through your phone. Don't allow him to Hoover his way back into your life because he would just hurt you a second time. Stop listening to gist about him. It would help you to move on.

You are letting your emotions get the better of you. He didn't just leave her just like that. The bolded shows that you are not a logical thinking human being. Nonsense!
Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by cococandy(f): 3:53am On Nov 27, 2020
It’s healthy to feel emotional about it. Give it time.

2 Likes

Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Saccharine: 5:08am On Nov 27, 2020
NL is the most toxic place to seek for advise if you're a woman so take everything written here with a pinch of salt cheesy

Prepare to be blamed, await the righteous crew, the ashawo crew, the women are evil crew, the 'I'm afraid to marry crew,all women are liars crew, the prayer crew and the fight for your home crew wink grin grin

4 Likes

Re: Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? by Teespice(f): 6:48am On Nov 27, 2020
Saccharine:
NL is the most toxic place to seek for advise if you're a woman so take everything written here with a pinch of salt cheesy

Prepare to be blamed, await the righteous crew, the ashawo crew, the women are evil crew, the 'I'm afraid to marry crew,all women are liars crew, the prayer crew and the fight for your home crew wink grin grin

LMAOOOOOO.

You know this site very well

2 Likes

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