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How We Keep Lying To Ourselves About Monogamy. - Romance - Nairaland

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How We Keep Lying To Ourselves About Monogamy. by Splitmind: 9:03pm On Nov 27, 2020
Our Western influenced notion of monogamous marriage is a complete sham and this is why.

First we need to understand what marriage, particularly from the western influenced perspective is. In the ancient civilizations of Europe and The Levantine region marriage was a union of men and women (sorry alphabet crew) and their different households together to form a new brach to the family tree. The purpose of marriage was both for reproduction and for the union of family inheritances so it was a major social contract that was to be upheld for the benefit of all parties and the society at large. Fines and punishments were given out to unmarried people at times to encourage the practice.


Now here's where things got interesting; most cultures around the world practised polygamy but the Romans, who came to conquer most of western Europe and the entire Mediterranean, did not. So typically men were allowed to have two or more wives along with concubines and paramours if they were of the upper classes. Roman conquest put a stop to this but that did not mean the Romans were faithful to one woman either.

Free Roman men typically would have sex slaves, visit prostitutes or have both male and female partners in addition to their wives which they legally could not marry but were free to "enjoy". Looks like men's mindset hasn't changed much since then.

With the adoption of Christianity as the state religion of the Romans, all side pieces, fornication (which meant the visiting of prostitutes but has now come to mean any sex outside the marriage contract) and homosexuality was banned in totality. The Romans did not adopt Jewish polygamy because it was contrary to their culture.

Even though marriage was now monogamous by law it did not stop people, especially upper class men, from having mistresses since marriages within the upper classes were out of political alliance more than romantic love as we see them today.

Now for all the people who are adamant about waiting for marriage here's a little background information;

Marriage typically occurred in the teenage years and the minimum age for marriage was 12-14. The law making the minimum marriage age 18 is a modern concept. There was no such thing as comprehensive sex education, antibiotics, DNA testing and contraceptives. If you got pregnant or had an STD you were on your own and would most likely die so waiting would be ideal.

So in conclusion our modern idea of marriage has never been a constant and unchanging force and this should inform how you make a major decision that's meant to be for the rest of your life.

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Re: How We Keep Lying To Ourselves About Monogamy. by Sonoyom(m): 9:07pm On Nov 27, 2020
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Re: How We Keep Lying To Ourselves About Monogamy. by Thesole(m): 9:18pm On Nov 27, 2020
Too long to Read and besides I don't like marriage

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Re: How We Keep Lying To Ourselves About Monogamy. by Nobody: 9:25pm On Nov 27, 2020
Not just man,it take a great deal of discipline for an individual to stay faithful and true to his/her significant other for a life time

If a critical survey is been carried out pertaining to faithfullness per say the numbers would most likely be low.
Re: How We Keep Lying To Ourselves About Monogamy. by Bornsinner7: 9:30pm On Nov 27, 2020
Awa fierce gan to ba n wa mi

Op nobody stop you from having plenty toto but that your plan to Bleep a minor no go work
Re: How We Keep Lying To Ourselves About Monogamy. by Splitmind: 5:15pm On Nov 28, 2020
Thesole:
Too long to Read and besides I don't like marriage

Then this isn't for you.
Re: How We Keep Lying To Ourselves About Monogamy. by Splitmind: 5:15pm On Nov 28, 2020
Godbouy:
Not just man,it take a great deal of discipline for an individual to stay faithful and true to his/her significant other for a life time

If a critical survey is been carried out pertaining to faithfullness per say the numbers would most likely be low.


Exactly, humans need outside pressure to conform to monogamy.

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Re: How We Keep Lying To Ourselves About Monogamy. by Splitmind: 5:17pm On Nov 28, 2020
Bornsinner7:
Awa fierce gan to ba n wa mi

Op nobody stop you from having plenty toto but that your plan to Bleep a minor no go work

I'm explaining the historical context of marriage and age limits placed on it.

When you were 11 did you think about sex at all? Making people wait was trivial when they would get married right out of puberty instead of now when people wait until age 28 and above to get married and have sex.

Another thing to note is that the age at which someone can consent to sexual activities (not marriage) differs between countries from 13-21, countries which have it as 18 are a minority.
Re: How We Keep Lying To Ourselves About Monogamy. by Nobody: 9:20pm On Nov 28, 2020
Splitmind:


Exactly, humans need outside pressure to conform to monogamy.
Very correct
Re: How We Keep Lying To Ourselves About Monogamy. by Kobicove(m): 2:56am On Nov 29, 2020
Monogamy for men is not really the natural order of things if we want to be honest with ourselves!

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