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5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Lessons Learnt From The NYC Man Shot Dead By His Neighbour / Love Is not always sweet .. 7 years marriage experience / Mother Of Eight Loses 40-year Marriage For Denying Husband Sex (2) (3) (4)

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Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by Splitmind: 12:32am On Nov 30, 2020
Sundrus:
Some people no know say no be everybody dey destined & fit to dey married... Unfortunately, Society don almost make am dey compulsory for everybody. OP na very few men go fit do these things way u talk about oh. If u be man & u no get selfless sacrifice within u & u dey very rigid, just forget about marriage; because the marriage go surely fail.
I wrote a post about this, everything we know about marriage is a load of nonsense and people just keep following it like zombies.

1 Like

Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by Emeka71(m): 1:04am On Nov 30, 2020
mariahAngel:


Well, manipulative people deserve each other, so they can go on playing on each other's emotions, since it is what they enjoy doing.
Very good.

1 Like

Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by yYot: 3:32am On Nov 30, 2020
bukatyne:


If you a Christian wife, better marry a man who loves you as Christ loved the Church.

Na Jesus Christ sacrifice with His life not the other way round.

Submission is expected from the wife as a response to his love.

Only you love, only you submit.

Goodluck.

@Englov: more years of God's bliss in your home.
Wow! What an amazing fact! My deduction here is this : Christian wives don't love their husbands, they are merely obeying the scripture!
A friend's experiences confirm this assertion! He told me all the married women in his church makes sexual pass at him! And I thought to myself, why would pious, Christan women would want to cheat on their God fearing, very spiritual husband? I think I have my answers now!
Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by YoungBlackRico(m): 6:13am On Nov 30, 2020
J111333:
I hear this always but do you know that the love of a woman has an elastic limit and when it gets to its apogee, any little trigger can drastically turn the deep love to deep hate?

I'll rather have a woman who grows in love with me than the one who overloves me.

The women that cut their husbands preeks once overloved them until they got to that thick brick wall.

I believe in equal amount of love, respect and accountability. That way, the growth will be steady and mutual.

Tell 'em.
Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by Ikennamurphy: 6:49am On Nov 30, 2020
djon78:



E be like say you never know women?
What he said is true
Very complicated beings
But that's the enigma that makes the whole thing interesting
If you understand there actions more
Like I said there is no general rule to it and everyone has his own peculiarities, I just told you my own stands, whether it goes well with u or not is not my business, go and marry a woman u don't love, u hear
Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by rowosky(m): 8:11am On Nov 30, 2020
I wonder why no-one is talking about number 3.
Number 3 qualifies as rape In the court of law.
When a woman says "NO" OR "STOP"
, STOP even if she doesn't mean it or you THINK she doesn't mean it.
Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by Zoey95: 8:24am On Nov 30, 2020
Englov:
28.11.2020 marked it 5yrs marriage anniversary for me and my spouse.

The experiences are as follows:

1. Do not marry because of beauty:

Beauty they say is to the eyes of the beholder. My wife was and is still beautiful in my eyes but that was not only the reason I married her.
I took my time and visited her place one time they had burial ceremony in her village. This was even before I proposed to her for marriage. I wanted to see her Mum and I did. I wanted to see how my wife will look like when she start aging. I equally wanted to know how peaceful her mum lives with the Dad because she won't tell me all this things.


2. In marriage it might not work always with your plan:

I remember a friend of mine told me that once he gets married, he will relocate from Nigeria to USA with the help of the wife's family staying in USA. I can remember I asked him; what if it didn't work as you have planned it? His answer was: I have never taught of it that way.
My man is marriage now with that lady. They have gotten 2 kids but they have not moved out till now. He no longer talk about moving to USA anymore though he could even afford it.
This doesn't mean you will not plan for yourself and your family. However, as you make your plans always have a plan B in case it didn't work out the same way you had planned it.
I have learned to always have plan B even as I work so had to make plan A possible.

3. When Your wife says Yes, she might mean No most of the times and vice versa:

Most of the times when you are doing the great job on the other room, if she is saying no,stop,etc pls don't stop oh. If you do she will turn back and say to you. Why did you stop? You will answer but you asked me to stop. She will ask you are you not man enough to know that I didn't mean stop? Immerging that someone asked you to stop something and she said she didn't mean it.
You must be man enough to know when she means what she is saying. You as a man must figure somethings out by yourself.


4. Child birth:
This in most cases does not go as planned. You might say you want boys as a man and she said she want girls or boys as the case maybe. It is only God that has ultimate say on this.
It took us 3 years to get our first baby and we are expecting another soon. In that first 3 years, we went to different hospitals me and my spouse was certified ok. She use to take in but after 2-3 months miscarriage will be experienced. In this experience months became years.
We spent a lot of money looking for solution and she was restless because of that until God gave us one.
Child birth during marriage is a different ball game all together to compare when you are in a friendly relationship. When you are in a relationship, you see pregnancy come and stay but after marriage the real business starts.


5. Never marry a lady because of what she told you:
When you finally decide to marry as a man, marry because of your own reasons. Never marry because the lady told you that anyone who married her will be entitled to this or that. Pls never fall for that cheap scam. Any lady above 30yrs wants to marry by all means. You don't know the pressure she is passing through so she will do anything possible to bring you in.
Lady's knows men wick point most of the times than we know their own. Remember they can talk to each other and share their experiences with men in their discussion than men do.


6. Women are strong than men but don't know:

Believe or not women are very strong being. Brother, one weekend try and stay at home and tell her to leave all her work for you. Try and do it, guy I bet you 90% of the men will not do 60% off the work women do at home.
They will do all this things go to work and come back, carry their baby, etc.


7. She Doesn't want competition:

No woman wants to see her man with another woman. She doesn't like competition oh! A woman would do anything possible to protect her home. Women are more spiritually inclined than men. If you really want to know a visit to spiritual homes will convince you. They believe that most of the things happening around us is more spiritual than physical.

8. Shape and Size:
Before our wedding I was 66kg in weight while she was 64kg that was 2015. But now in 2020, 5years after am 64kg and she is 76kg. She has gained 12kg and I have lost 2kg such is life. That slim fight girl you see today once you marry her she will gain weight this is natural to them.
If you must marry bear it in mind that she must gain weight and as she gains weight she might start losing shape.
I have bought so many weight loss medications and even waist trainer belt but it's still there.
I have learned to live with it.


9. Buying things:
Impulse buying is their hubby. Women can buy things that they will never use. Most of the times my wife bought she doesn't even know what they are used for. Most a times they buy because it looks good not even because they want to use it.


10. Gift:
Though everyone likes gift but women cherish gift so much. You want to get something from her buy her a gift more especially that thing she likes.


11. Love life:
Once you have a baby a portion of your love will be taking away from you and given to your babe. As you number of babies increased so as the love life shift hands to the babies. The more babies you have the less attention you get from your wife.

Modified:


12. Decision Making:
Never put your wife on autopilot decision Making. Never allow your spouse to always take decision without consulting you. If you allow this from the beginning changing it will be very difficult.
Say you are working in an offshore and you have to hand over your salary ATM card to your wife to spend on without a proper spending plan, then sorry is your nike name.
Even when you are not available, you can have a lay down plan for her. In case of eventuality do this or that.


13. Third party interference:

Never allow the interference of family members into your family affairs. This is dangerous to your family life. From the first day of my marriage, I told my wife that not my mum ,Dad or her parents must hear about our quarrel as I know is inevitable. This can only be possible if you know how to settle quarrels so I advise you learn this as it will help you. No quarrel should be allowed to stay too long without settling it.


14. Work/Job:
Your wife must know what you do for a living and she must be proud of it if not there is problem. I own a phone repair and parts sales center in PH and I am in this business with my wife. Am a graduate, she is as well and both of us are happy doing this business. She helps me a lot in the business. You must not force your wife to do what she didn't like doing, if you do you will not get a good result. You as a man must be proactive in your decision Making concerning work/job selection.


15. Financial status:

Your wife must know your financial status though not in details. This will help the family to stay in peace. Though you should be in charge of the spendings so as to work within your plans. Make provision for her pocket money because whether you like it or not she must get it from you more especially if she is not a working class.



It is really a wonderful experience. I love my wife and we are happy with each other.


Disclaimer:
The experiences learned and knowledge acquired are mostly personal to me and my spouse. This experiences may or may not be applicable to you and your spouse.



I would like you to add your own experience or knowledge acquired in your marriage life to guide those that wants to go into this.


bros, oGa guy, I owe you two bottles please if you stay in Abuja let's hang out someday. infact I will be having a Christmas get together in my house. everything you said is 100% correct and this is exactly the same thing am facing in my home In and my wife by the grace of God are enjoying this marriage it has been the best decision ever. I am 25 now we have a son and we expecting another baby soon. got married to her when I was 23 and ever since then have never been this happier tho it's not me but I belief it's God and to him shall he be praise. I don't stay at home due to the kinda work I do. atimes am always 6 month away and so on but the gap is not showiing. but guy you are absolutely correct who say marraige no sweet when you are with the right person and doing the right thing. Kai you burst my head this morning. God go bless you for me and your home.

4 Likes

Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by mariahAngel(f): 8:29am On Nov 30, 2020
udemzyudex:


Lol.. Abeg who we go come marry ooo?

A woman will say the same thing you post, marry a man that loves you more, don't settle for 50/50 lol.

Na wa oooo

grin grin grin
Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by mariahAngel(f): 8:45am On Nov 30, 2020
Openbusiness:
You can't be so toxic and have low IQ at the same time. Pick a struggle. No wonder you're so bitter grin

Guy, I gbara wicked! grin

1 Like

Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by matthewbrian150: 9:29am On Nov 30, 2020
Englov:
28.11.2020 marked it 5yrs marriage anniversary for me and my spouse.

The experiences are as follows:

1. Do not marry because of beauty:

Beauty they say is to the eyes of the beholder. My wife was and is still beautiful in my eyes but that was not only the reason I married her.
I took my time and visited her place one time they had burial ceremony in her village. This was even before I proposed to her for marriage. I wanted to see her Mum and I did. I wanted to see how my wife will look like when she start aging. I equally wanted to know how peaceful her mum lives with the Dad because she won't tell me all this things.


2. In marriage it might not work always with your plan:

I remember a friend of mine told me that once he gets married, he will relocate from Nigeria to USA with the help of the wife's family staying in USA. I can remember I asked him; what if it didn't work as you have planned it? His answer was: I have never taught of it that way.
My man is marriage now with that lady. They have gotten 2 kids but they have not moved out till now. He no longer talk about moving to USA anymore though he could even afford it.
This doesn't mean you will not plan for yourself and your family. However, as you make your plans always have a plan B in case it didn't work out the same way you had planned it.
I have learned to always have plan B even as I work so had to make plan A possible.

3. When Your wife says Yes, she might mean No most of the times and vice versa:

Most of the times when you are doing the great job on the other room, if she is saying no,stop,etc pls don't stop oh. If you do she will turn back and say to you. Why did you stop? You will answer but you asked me to stop. She will ask you are you not man enough to know that I didn't mean stop? Immerging that someone asked you to stop something and she said she didn't mean it.
You must be man enough to know when she means what she is saying. You as a man must figure somethings out by yourself.


4. Child birth:
This in most cases does not go as planned. You might say you want boys as a man and she said she want girls or boys as the case maybe. It is only God that has ultimate say on this.
It took us 3 years to get our first baby and we are expecting another soon. In that first 3 years, we went to different hospitals me and my spouse was certified ok. She use to take in but after 2-3 months miscarriage will be experienced. In this experience months became years.
We spent a lot of money looking for solution and she was restless because of that until God gave us one.
Child birth during marriage is a different ball game all together to compare when you are in a friendly relationship. When you are in a relationship, you see pregnancy come and stay but after marriage the real business starts.


5. Never marry a lady because of what she told you:
When you finally decide to marry as a man, marry because of your own reasons. Never marry because the lady told you that anyone who married her will be entitled to this or that. Pls never fall for that cheap scam. Any lady above 30yrs wants to marry by all means. You don't know the pressure she is passing through so she will do anything possible to bring you in.
Lady's knows men wick point most of the times than we know their own. Remember they can talk to each other and share their experiences with men in their discussion than men do.


6. Women are strong than men but don't know:

Believe or not women are very strong being. Brother, one weekend try and stay at home and tell her to leave all her work for you. Try and do it, guy I bet you 90% of the men will not do 60% off the work women do at home.
They will do all this things go to work and come back, carry their baby, etc.


7. She Doesn't want competition:

No woman wants to see her man with another woman. She doesn't like competition oh! A woman would do anything possible to protect her home. Women are more spiritually inclined than men. If you really want to know a visit to spiritual homes will convince you. They believe that most of the things happening around us is more spiritual than physical.

8. Shape and Size:
Before our wedding I was 66kg in weight while she was 64kg that was 2015. But now in 2020, 5years after am 64kg and she is 76kg. She has gained 12kg and I have lost 2kg such is life. That slim fight girl you see today once you marry her she will gain weight this is natural to them.
If you must marry bear it in mind that she must gain weight and as she gains weight she might start losing shape.
I have bought so many weight loss medications and even waist trainer belt but it's still there.
I have learned to live with it.


9. Buying things:
Impulse buying is their hubby. Women can buy things that they will never use. Most of the times my wife bought she doesn't even know what they are used for. Most a times they buy because it looks good not even because they want to use it.


10. Gift:
Though everyone likes gift but women cherish gift so much. You want to get something from her buy her a gift more especially that thing she likes.


11. Love life:
Once you have a baby a portion of your love will be taking away from you and given to your babe. As you number of babies increased so as the love life shift hands to the babies. The more babies you have the less attention you get from your wife.

Modified:


12. Decision Making:
Never put your wife on autopilot decision Making. Never allow your spouse to always take decision without consulting you. If you allow this from the beginning changing it will be very difficult.
Say you are working in an offshore and you have to hand over your salary ATM card to your wife to spend on without a proper spending plan, then sorry is your nike name.
Even when you are not available, you can have a lay down plan for her. In case of eventuality do this or that.


13. Third party interference:

Never allow the interference of family members into your family affairs. This is dangerous to your family life. From the first day of my marriage, I told my wife that not my mum ,Dad or her parents must hear about our quarrel as I know is inevitable. This can only be possible if you know how to settle quarrels so I advise you learn this as it will help you. No quarrel should be allowed to stay too long without settling it.


14. Work/Job:
Your wife must know what you do for a living and she must be proud of it if not there is problem. I own a phone repair and parts sales center in PH and I am in this business with my wife. Am a graduate, she is as well and both of us are happy doing this business. She helps me a lot in the business. You must not force your wife to do what she didn't like doing, if you do you will not get a good result. You as a man must be proactive in your decision Making concerning work/job selection.


15. Financial status:

Your wife must know your financial status though not in details. This will help the family to stay in peace. Though you should be in charge of the spendings so as to work within your plans. Make provision for her pocket money because whether you like it or not she must get it from you more especially if she is not a working class.



It is really a wonderful experience. I love my wife and we are happy with each other.


Disclaimer:
The experiences learned and knowledge acquired are mostly personal to me and my spouse. This experiences may or may not be applicable to you and your spouse.



I would like you to add your own experience or knowledge acquired in your marriage life to guide those that wants to go into this.


Oga OP, u are really trying oh. I notice this your pattern mostly in our eastern brothers, they are more like the WOMEN in their marriages. Immediately they get married, we make it a point of duty to keep our distance because they are always CONTROLLED by their wives. I repeat " YOU ARE REALLY TRYING OH" .

1 Like

Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by fanzine(f): 10:40am On Nov 30, 2020
IMO,Marriage is overrated. Am married, but not happily married. No matter how I tried to be happy, he keeps frustrating me. I was happier when i was single than now. The family background, a lot is affecting my marriage. All the monies I invested to grow our finances via him is nowhere. Money does not stay in his pocket,spends my money drinking every day. When I talk, he insults my dead Dad and my whole family. Am doing 2 jobs to keep my family. All he does is eats and drink with his friends. Am the one who takes care of our kids,pay house rent. Every damn expenses is on me. Most time i wish I could turn back the clock to when i was single.

2 Likes

Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by Microwhy: 11:50am On Nov 30, 2020
Englov:
28.11.2020 marked it 5yrs marriage anniversary for me and my spouse.

The experiences are as follows:




6. Women are strong than men but don't know:

Believe or not women are very strong being. Brother, one weekend try and stay at home and tell her to leave all her work for you. Try and do it, guy I bet you 90% of the men will not do 60% off the work women do at home.
They will do all this things go to work and come back, carry their baby, etc.


Extremely stronger than men. I mean extremely stronger than men.
We will be expecting update about this after her second child birth.
Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by descarado: 12:01pm On Nov 30, 2020
@op, come back in 10yrs time and tell us the real koko cheesy

1 Like

Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by Nobody: 4:09pm On Nov 30, 2020
Englov:
28.11.2020 marked it 5yrs marriage anniversary for me and my spouse.

The experiences are as follows:

1. Do not marry because of beauty:

Beauty they say is to the eyes of the beholder. My wife was and is still beautiful in my eyes but that was not only the reason I married her.
I took my time and visited her place one time they had burial ceremony in her village. This was even before I proposed to her for marriage. I wanted to see her Mum and I did. I wanted to see how my wife will look like when she start aging. I equally wanted to know how peaceful her mum lives with the Dad because she won't tell me all this things.


2. In marriage it might not work always with your plan:

I remember a friend of mine told me that once he gets married, he will relocate from Nigeria to USA with the help of the wife's family staying in USA. I can remember I asked him; what if it didn't work as you have planned it? His answer was: I have never taught of it that way.
My man is marriage now with that lady. They have gotten 2 kids but they have not moved out till now. He no longer talk about moving to USA anymore though he could even afford it.
This doesn't mean you will not plan for yourself and your family. However, as you make your plans always have a plan B in case it didn't work out the same way you had planned it.
I have learned to always have plan B even as I work so had to make plan A possible.

3. When Your wife says Yes, she might mean No most of the times and vice versa:

Most of the times when you are doing the great job on the other room, if she is saying no,stop,etc pls don't stop oh. If you do she will turn back and say to you. Why did you stop? You will answer but you asked me to stop. She will ask you are you not man enough to know that I didn't mean stop? Immerging that someone asked you to stop something and she said she didn't mean it.
You must be man enough to know when she means what she is saying. You as a man must figure somethings out by yourself.


4. Child birth:
This in most cases does not go as planned. You might say you want boys as a man and she said she want girls or boys as the case maybe. It is only God that has ultimate say on this.
It took us 3 years to get our first baby and we are expecting another soon. In that first 3 years, we went to different hospitals me and my spouse was certified ok. She use to take in but after 2-3 months miscarriage will be experienced. In this experience months became years.
We spent a lot of money looking for solution and she was restless because of that until God gave us one.
Child birth during marriage is a different ball game all together to compare when you are in a friendly relationship. When you are in a relationship, you see pregnancy come and stay but after marriage the real business starts.


5. Never marry a lady because of what she told you:
When you finally decide to marry as a man, marry because of your own reasons. Never marry because the lady told you that anyone who married her will be entitled to this or that. Pls never fall for that cheap scam. Any lady above 30yrs wants to marry by all means. You don't know the pressure she is passing through so she will do anything possible to bring you in.
Lady's knows men wick point most of the times than we know their own. Remember they can talk to each other and share their experiences with men in their discussion than men do.


6. Women are strong than men but don't know:

Believe or not women are very strong being. Brother, one weekend try and stay at home and tell her to leave all her work for you. Try and do it, guy I bet you 90% of the men will not do 60% off the work women do at home.
They will do all this things go to work and come back, carry their baby, etc.


7. She Doesn't want competition:

No woman wants to see her man with another woman. She doesn't like competition oh! A woman would do anything possible to protect her home. Women are more spiritually inclined than men. If you really want to know a visit to spiritual homes will convince you. They believe that most of the things happening around us is more spiritual than physical.

8. Shape and Size:
Before our wedding I was 66kg in weight while she was 64kg that was 2015. But now in 2020, 5years after am 64kg and she is 76kg. She has gained 12kg and I have lost 2kg such is life. That slim fight girl you see today once you marry her she will gain weight this is natural to them.
If you must marry bear it in mind that she must gain weight and as she gains weight she might start losing shape.
I have bought so many weight loss medications and even waist trainer belt but it's still there.
I have learned to live with it.


9. Buying things:
Impulse buying is their hubby. Women can buy things that they will never use. Most of the times my wife bought she doesn't even know what they are used for. Most a times they buy because it looks good not even because they want to use it.


10. Gift:
Though everyone likes gift but women cherish gift so much. You want to get something from her buy her a gift more especially that thing she likes.


11. Love life:
Once you have a baby a portion of your love will be taking away from you and given to your babe. As you number of babies increased so as the love life shift hands to the babies. The more babies you have the less attention you get from your wife.

Modified:


12. Decision Making:
Never put your wife on autopilot decision Making. Never allow your spouse to always take decision without consulting you. If you allow this from the beginning changing it will be very difficult.
Say you are working in an offshore and you have to hand over your salary ATM card to your wife to spend on without a proper spending plan, then sorry is your nike name.
Even when you are not available, you can have a lay down plan for her. In case of eventuality do this or that.


13. Third party interference:

Never allow the interference of family members into your family affairs. This is dangerous to your family life. From the first day of my marriage, I told my wife that not my mum ,Dad or her parents must hear about our quarrel as I know is inevitable. This can only be possible if you know how to settle quarrels so I advise you learn this as it will help you. No quarrel should be allowed to stay too long without settling it.


14. Work/Job:
Your wife must know what you do for a living and she must be proud of it if not there is problem. I own a phone repair and parts sales center in PH and I am in this business with my wife. Am a graduate, she is as well and both of us are happy doing this business. She helps me a lot in the business. You must not force your wife to do what she didn't like doing, if you do you will not get a good result. You as a man must be proactive in your decision Making concerning work/job selection.


15. Financial status:

Your wife must know your financial status though not in details. This will help the family to stay in peace. Though you should be in charge of the spendings so as to work within your plans. Make provision for her pocket money because whether you like it or not she must get it from you more especially if she is not a working class.



It is really a wonderful experience. I love my wife and we are happy with each other.


Disclaimer:
The experiences learned and knowledge acquired are mostly personal to me and my spouse. This experiences may or may not be applicable to you and your spouse.



I would like you to add your own experience or knowledge acquired in your marriage life to guide those that wants to go into this.

you would have just written a book nahh?

1 Like

Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by Marisujuaku(f): 4:32pm On Nov 30, 2020
Awwwww smiley smiley. Happy 5th wedding anniversary and more 70 to life. I wish your family more success, peace and endless Love

3 Likes

Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by cassyrooy(m): 6:32pm On Nov 30, 2020
Englov:
28.11.2020 marked it 5yrs marriage anniversary for me and my spouse.

The experiences are as follows:

1. Do not marry because of beauty:

Beauty they say is to the eyes of the beholder. My wife was and is still beautiful in my eyes but that was not only the reason I married her.
I took my time and visited her place one time they had burial ceremony in her village. This was even before I proposed to her for marriage. I wanted to see her Mum and I did. I wanted to see how my wife will look like when she start aging. I equally wanted to know how peaceful her mum lives with the Dad because she won't tell me all this things.


2. In marriage it might not work always with your plan:

I remember a friend of mine told me that once he gets married, he will relocate from Nigeria to USA with the help of the wife's family staying in USA. I can remember I asked him; what if it didn't work as you have planned it? His answer was: I have never taught of it that way.
My man is marriage now with that lady. They have gotten 2 kids but they have not moved out till now. He no longer talk about moving to USA anymore though he could even afford it.
This doesn't mean you will not plan for yourself and your family. However, as you make your plans always have a plan B in case it didn't work out the same way you had planned it.
I have learned to always have plan B even as I work so had to make plan A possible.

3. When Your wife says Yes, she might mean No most of the times and vice versa:

Most of the times when you are doing the great job on the other room, if she is saying no,stop,etc pls don't stop oh. If you do she will turn back and say to you. Why did you stop? You will answer but you asked me to stop. She will ask you are you not man enough to know that I didn't mean stop? Immerging that someone asked you to stop something and she said she didn't mean it.
You must be man enough to know when she means what she is saying. You as a man must figure somethings out by yourself.


4. Child birth:
This in most cases does not go as planned. You might say you want boys as a man and she said she want girls or boys as the case maybe. It is only God that has ultimate say on this.
It took us 3 years to get our first baby and we are expecting another soon. In that first 3 years, we went to different hospitals me and my spouse was certified ok. She use to take in but after 2-3 months miscarriage will be experienced. In this experience months became years.
We spent a lot of money looking for solution and she was restless because of that until God gave us one.
Child birth during marriage is a different ball game all together to compare when you are in a friendly relationship. When you are in a relationship, you see pregnancy come and stay but after marriage the real business starts.


5. Never marry a lady because of what she told you:
When you finally decide to marry as a man, marry because of your own reasons. Never marry because the lady told you that anyone who married her will be entitled to this or that. Pls never fall for that cheap scam. Any lady above 30yrs wants to marry by all means. You don't know the pressure she is passing through so she will do anything possible to bring you in.
Lady's knows men wick point most of the times than we know their own. Remember they can talk to each other and share their experiences with men in their discussion than men do.


6. Women are strong than men but don't know:

Believe or not women are very strong being. Brother, one weekend try and stay at home and tell her to leave all her work for you. Try and do it, guy I bet you 90% of the men will not do 60% off the work women do at home.
They will do all this things go to work and come back, carry their baby, etc.


7. She Doesn't want competition:

No woman wants to see her man with another woman. She doesn't like competition oh! A woman would do anything possible to protect her home. Women are more spiritually inclined than men. If you really want to know a visit to spiritual homes will convince you. They believe that most of the things happening around us is more spiritual than physical.

8. Shape and Size:
Before our wedding I was 66kg in weight while she was 64kg that was 2015. But now in 2020, 5years after am 64kg and she is 76kg. She has gained 12kg and I have lost 2kg such is life. That slim fight girl you see today once you marry her she will gain weight this is natural to them.
If you must marry bear it in mind that she must gain weight and as she gains weight she might start losing shape.
I have bought so many weight loss medications and even waist trainer belt but it's still there.
I have learned to live with it.


9. Buying things:
Impulse buying is their hubby. Women can buy things that they will never use. Most of the times my wife bought she doesn't even know what they are used for. Most a times they buy because it looks good not even because they want to use it.


10. Gift:
Though everyone likes gift but women cherish gift so much. You want to get something from her buy her a gift more especially that thing she likes.


11. Love life:
Once you have a baby a portion of your love will be taking away from you and given to your babe. As you number of babies increased so as the love life shift hands to the babies. The more babies you have the less attention you get from your wife.

Modified:


12. Decision Making:
Never put your wife on autopilot decision Making. Never allow your spouse to always take decision without consulting you. If you allow this from the beginning changing it will be very difficult.
Say you are working in an offshore and you have to hand over your salary ATM card to your wife to spend on without a proper spending plan, then sorry is your nike name.
Even when you are not available, you can have a lay down plan for her. In case of eventuality do this or that.


13. Third party interference:

Never allow the interference of family members into your family affairs. This is dangerous to your family life. From the first day of my marriage, I told my wife that not my mum ,Dad or her parents must hear about our quarrel as I know is inevitable. This can only be possible if you know how to settle quarrels so I advise you learn this as it will help you. No quarrel should be allowed to stay too long without settling it.


14. Work/Job:
Your wife must know what you do for a living and she must be proud of it if not there is problem. I own a phone repair and parts sales center in PH and I am in this business with my wife. Am a graduate, she is as well and both of us are happy doing this business. She helps me a lot in the business. You must not force your wife to do what she didn't like doing, if you do you will not get a good result. You as a man must be proactive in your decision Making concerning work/job selection.


15. Financial status:

Your wife must know your financial status though not in details. This will help the family to stay in peace. Though you should be in charge of the spendings so as to work within your plans. Make provision for her pocket money because whether you like it or not she must get it from you more especially if she is not a working class.



It is really a wonderful experience. I love my wife and we are happy with each other.


Disclaimer:
The experiences learned and knowledge acquired are mostly personal to me and my spouse. This experiences may or may not be applicable to you and your spouse.



I would like you to add your own experience or knowledge acquired in your marriage life to guide those that wants to go into this.

I'm feeling One-kind-one-kind after reading your experiences, that part where you stated you lost 2kg and she added 12kg got me scared walahi!

@MissJoy29, is that how we'll roll? wink
Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by Englov(m): 12:03pm On Dec 01, 2020
Zoey95:


bros, oGa guy, I owe you two bottles please if you stay in Abuja let's hang out someday. infact I will be having a Christmas get together in my house. everything you said is 100% correct and this is exactly the same thing am facing in my home In and my wife by the grace of God are enjoying this marriage it has been the best decision ever. I am 25 now we have a son and we expecting another baby soon. got married to her when I was 23 and ever since then have never been this happier tho it's not me but I belief it's God and to him shall he be praise. I don't stay at home due to the kinda work I do. atimes am always 6 month away and so on but the gap is not showiing. but guy you are absolutely correct who say marraige no sweet when you are with the right person and doing the right thing. Kai you burst my head this morning. God go bless you for me and your home.

I will WhatsApp you
Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by Zoey95: 2:58pm On Dec 01, 2020
Englov:

I will WhatsApp you
Roger boss
Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by CHoccolaTE: 1:59am On Dec 02, 2020
Nigerian men will never run out of ideas on how to keep women frustrated and miserable.
Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by CHoccolaTE: 2:06am On Dec 02, 2020
fanzine:
IMO,Marriage is overrated. Am married, but not happily married. No matter how I tried to be happy, he keeps frustrating me. I was happier when i was single than now. The family background, a lot is affecting my marriage. All the monies I invested to grow our finances via him is nowhere. Money does not stay in his pocket,spends my money drinking every day. When I talk, he insults my dead Dad and my whole family. Am doing 2 jobs to keep my family. All he does is eats and drink with his friends. Am the one who takes care of our kids,pay house rent. Every damn expenses is on me. Most time i wish I could turn back the clock to when i was single.

Stop giving him money, tell him you are using it for your parent's or siblings needs or that you are saving it in an account for your kids future .


Men like him are plenty everywhere like sand, they are just everywhere constituting nuisance and making life hard for their wives, but women don't complain or leave because they have been socialized to put up with bad treatment. For instance look at that stupid post up there saying a woman who is emotionally invested in her marriage will tolerate beating and abuse.

Sometimes I find it hard to wrap my head around the sheer wickedness and evil wishes Nigerian men have for women.
Re: 5-Year Marriage Experience: Lessons Learnt & Knowledge Acquired by Judybash93(m): 2:38am On Dec 02, 2020
"3. When Your wife says Yes, she might mean No most of the times and vice versa:

Most of the times when you are doing the great job on the other room, if she is saying no,stop,etc pls don't stop oh. If you do she will turn back and say to you. Why did you stop? You will answer but you asked me to stop. She will ask you are you not man enough to know that I didn't mean stop? Immerging that someone asked you to stop something and she said she didn't mean it.
You must be man enough to know when she means what she is saying. You as a man must figure somethings out by yourself."

This is an example of manipulation, will she die if she says yes when she means yes?

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