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My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? - Family - Nairaland

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My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Sebastine1994(m): 6:09am On Dec 14, 2020
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

17 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by LawLab247: 6:10am On Dec 14, 2020
I don't know your culture but where I come from, traditional marriage is held at your ancestral home. That's one of the things that makes it traditional in the first instance. We Africans must not bastardize the ways of our forefathers, lest we lose our identities. My opinion tho. Contact us for CAC Company registration, Business Name registration, NGO/Foundation/Club/Union/Church registration, Trademark,TIN, SCUML etc.Visit www. e nigeria .org or click HERE to chat with us

128 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Sundrus: 6:25am On Dec 14, 2020
E no bad....to save unnecessary cost. Few family heads go show. No too much crowd.

52 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by mrblessed(m): 6:36am On Dec 14, 2020
It is not normal. Such practice is anti-Igbo culture and shouldn't be condoned. Traditional marriage should rightly take place at the village of the girl, because it has huge relevance to the family, kindred, village, and community/town. Do you mean that the Ancestors won't be informed that their daughter is tying the knot? Their participation in the process is very necessary.

Most people today seem confused because religion/Christianity has displaced culture from its prime position in marital issues. Part of the problem is that we are trying to become Europeans, a wild goose chase we can never achieve. If marriage is cultural, and yes, it is, why celebrate traditional marriage in a place that has zero cultural relevance and significance?

92 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Mynd44: 6:39am On Dec 14, 2020
It is her wedding and her choice. I know you might feel a bit skirmish about it but it is still her choice.

And how is this an "Igbo tradition" to marry at home? I think the tradition is the marriage itself, the travelling home for it is the culture (I stand corrected). Anywhere you live and you are welcome is where your home lies.

If your worry is about who attends, invite those people over.

But still talk to her and try to find a middle point, make compromise which might include, an introduction in the village before the wedding while it might not be the actual event but she and her husband visits to meet everyone. This can also be agreed on after the wedding.

I have Igbo friends whose traditional marriage was done in Lagos because they felt the logistics was off. Some felt their friends, bosses, mentors, colleagues who they feel are more impactful in their lives than some of the family members they have not seen or even met might not be able to share in their special day especially if the "elders" who will attend even in the village are few and can be convince to travel to the city if they insist.

Anyways, let us know how this goes and remember, it is her wedding and while you want what is best overall, she is an adult and able to make her decisions. Make compromise and listen too her arguments well.

135 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by GeneralPula: 6:40am On Dec 14, 2020
Yes, it is abnormal..

angry

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by chinavs9ja(m): 6:41am On Dec 14, 2020
Pray to God for direction. Don't come on nairaland to seek opinions from people who doesn't know your sister.

13 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Seniorwriter(m): 6:42am On Dec 14, 2020
Marriage ceremony location has never been specific to specified! Couple(s) are free to make their decision !

Proactivity Leads To Productivity!!!
© Seniorwriter

19 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by GboyegaD(m): 6:42am On Dec 14, 2020
Why are you so bothered about her decision? New wedding, her marriage, and most importantly, her life.

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by starbuck(f): 6:42am On Dec 14, 2020
Why is she the one dictating where the marriage will hold abi una no get ụmụnna and ụmụadas for the village undecided undecided undecided, is like she wants those women to open her case..

Her husband nkọ, what's his opinion abi he is not Igbo

27 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by bencarson007(m): 6:42am On Dec 14, 2020
Let's stop all this bickering... Let them choose a venue and you guys support... Case closed. If she was abroad nko.... Abeg let her have her way joor

90 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by AntiWailer: 6:42am On Dec 14, 2020
So ?

How is that your business ?

You don't have enough problem on Ur head already than to be bothered about wedding venue.

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by MANNABBQGRILLS: 6:42am On Dec 14, 2020
It is your sister's wedding for Krissake!
Let her have her trad at the location she pleases.
You can have yours in your village or anywhere in your town you chose to when you are ready.

Wedding and Traditional wedding comes once in a lifetime.

We have seen Nigerians, Igbo and Yoruba especially having their Traditional wedding all over Europe, America and other countries of the world, in a colorful and beautiful atmosphere, and you are here talking about a city in Nigeria,
so kini big deal?


Live your life and let her live her life biko.
Wakanda brother are you sef?

30 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Lifeisgoody: 6:43am On Dec 14, 2020
Ask yourself a question, if its not done in the village, what will happen. You can now decide.
The truth is, I know the Igbos holds the trad marriage in high esteem, especially in the village.
My opinion is, It should be done in the village. Who knows tomorrow?

3 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by whytediamond(m): 6:43am On Dec 14, 2020
Aa
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Nobody: 6:43am On Dec 14, 2020
grin

Your sister is trying to avoid "village people" grin .

But seriously brother, what's special about marrying in the village nah? Shouldn't your sister's happiness be the priority here?

Men and ego Sha!

48 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by vibbb: 6:43am On Dec 14, 2020
It's called traditional marriage because of the requirements and materials involved. Place and venue is not a big deal but all the traditional requirements must be in place. Congratulations to ur sis in advance.

43 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by BafanaBafana: 6:44am On Dec 14, 2020
Seriously I am just hearing it for the first time that it is abnormal for traditional marriage to be done in the city. Wedding is wedding, anyhow and anywhere is okay.
You are a person who believes in tradition right? You have a traditional council of your people in that city, you have a traditional ruler in that city, you celebrate your traditional festivals in that city. It all goes to show you have brought your village to the city! Let them do their wedding please.
If you need masquerade I can arrange for you

27 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by DonFreshmoney(m): 6:44am On Dec 14, 2020
Mynd44:
It is her wedding and her choice. I know you might feel a bit skirmish about it but it is still her choice.

And how is this an "Igbo tradition" to marry at home? I think the tradition is the marriage itself, the travelling home for it is the culture (I stand corrected). Anywhere you live and you are welcome is where your home lies.

If your worry is about who attends, invite those people over.

But still talk to her and try to find a middle point, make compromise which might include, an introduction in the village before the wedding while it might not be the actual event but she and her husband visits to meet everyone. This can also be agreed on after the wedding.

I have Igbo friends whose traditional marriage was done in Lagos because they felt the logistics was off. Some felt their friends, bosses, mentors, colleagues who they feel are more impactful in their lives than some of the family members they have not seen or even met might not be able to share in their special day especially if the "elders" who will attend even in the village are few and can be convince to travel to the city if they insist.

Anyways, let us know how this goes and remember, it is her wedding and while you want what is best overall, she is an adult and able to make her decisions. Make compromise and listen too her arguments well.

Babaa, you should have just gone straight to the point.. this epistle isnt neccesstry..

5 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by ILoveDemMANNA: 6:44am On Dec 14, 2020
My sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?
Omo see unnecessary wahala!

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Nobody: 6:44am On Dec 14, 2020
her wedding. not yours nor your place to dictate anything.

6 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Nobody: 6:44am On Dec 14, 2020
It is normal,stop stressing your sister

10 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by filleSouriante(f): 6:44am On Dec 14, 2020
If the elders in your family and your kinsmen in the village are fine with it, then let it be

3 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Anaerobi(m): 6:44am On Dec 14, 2020
all this children that grew in the city .. in igbo culture it's not done so...
if she don't want to be an object of mockry in future by her own friends... "you that your traditional marriage was done in a strange land" let her change that notion of hers.
if she don't want her children to feel the pain. "children whose mother's traditional marriage was not properly done"
court marriage is done in court. not in the market.
white wedding in church not in Stadium.
traditional marriage in the woman's home town village...
let's respect and value our culture.

21 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Atrile: 6:45am On Dec 14, 2020
Lies
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Lexusgs430: 6:45am On Dec 14, 2020
Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

Lalasticlala,. Seun, Dominique, mynd44


Everyone resides in the city........ But you want to go and pose to villagers.........

Think twice ó......

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Brandonx(m): 6:45am On Dec 14, 2020
I've attending traditional marriages in cities.
My sister even did hers in the city, the only thing she did was sending a bus to the village and they all came no issues whatsoever.

10 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Okortor: 6:45am On Dec 14, 2020
Very normal, did mine in the city and travelled to UK for the white.

8 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Mindlog: 6:45am On Dec 14, 2020
Life is evolving.

We had one in Lagos last month as most relatives of both sides of the families are based in Lagos, so logistically it was better off doing it in Lagos while some things were sent down to the relatives in the village. The groom and his family had gone to the bride's family home in the village last December, so it is not as if those in the village don't know who their daughter got married to

14 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by NobleAngell(f): 6:46am On Dec 14, 2020
Yes. Very very normal.

5 Likes

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